That's a buddy of mine, couple weeks ago. I've known him since I was three. He's center left. I'm center right. This was my seventh birthday. He was my main rival through elementary school; the other smart kid. We were the twin towers of nerd-dom. Only he got distracted by other stuff and basically flaked out on school; I think he literally got perfect SAT scores but his academics blew. He now thinks it was the paint chips he ate as a baby because apparently he's got other hallmarks of lead exposure. Me? I started hanging out with the overpass kids and noped the fuck out of academics pretty hard so by the time anyone gave a fuck about achievement we were both too cynical to care. We have lunch when I can find time; it's always striking to me because I show up wearing WTFever and he shows up in coveralls with his name on them. perfect SAT score. My life was no bed of roses but fuckin'A. He's gonna die. He's three months to the day younger than I am and he's gonna die. He's got two kids; one just graduated high school, I think, and the other is three or four years out. His wife got him all the way through recovery and then decided that she didn't want to be anyone's wife anymore. And his commute is miserable and he's gotta deal with shit like dialysis AGAIN. I've done well in Ethereum. It's play money, too. And my instinct is to frickin' pay off his gofundme. I mean, there's a girl on the roster there a thousand miles away whose existence I'd forgotten until yesterday and she put $250 towards this guy she prolly hasn't seen in more than 20 years. I've had lunch with him like twice this year and I haven't been here for half of it. Maybe that'll buy him another couple years. But then I put my name on it and it hangs over both of us. Maybe I don't put my name on it and then it hangs over me. I don't know. His parents are government employees with rippin' pensions but he doesn't talk to them anymore of course and besides, he's a grown-ass man. A grown-ass man whose sister is begging on the Internet to pay his medical expenses because we live in the most advanced Western democracy in the world with the best healthcare in the world and the best doctors in the world and we're crowdfunding someone's renal failure. I make reality television for a living and my daughter's inhaler costs me $5. Her epipen costs me $5. Her ER visits? A whopping $70 ZOMG. I get hot towels when I fly and he finishes out the day with Gojo and growing up, his was the house the nicest one I'd been in and his mom was on the city council and their cars were always new and I hunted mice so I could sleep and here we are and I don't understand how we've created a society where a million little choices by a million little kids lead us to this place where I keep my bike tools in a Harry Winston bag and he's begging the Internet for another couple years on this earth, please. So I'm home, and I slept in my own bed, and I started a class in taking apart watches and I've got a feature and a short to mix and what really fucks me up - and has been fucking me up - is my buddy. I sent him a text saying we were setting up a standing lunch date, my treat, he picks the day of the week and the place. I haven't heard back. America.Welp. I'm in the hospital for a week or so. My transplanted kidney is experiencing some antibody mediated rejection. It's got some permanent damage, but with treatment and increased immune suppression, I should get a few more years of use out of it. Grateful for everyday since 2009. Grateful for my donor, and his family. Grateful for good healthcare. Grateful for my kiddos. Grateful for all the people who have supported me since my kidneys failed in 2007.
The out of pocket cost for these treatments will be approximately $5000. Worth it, but extremely difficult to cover, especially given the amount of unpaid leave from work he has had to take (2 weeks so far, plus at least another 10 days in the next two months for chemo). He's a good, hard-working man who hasn't been able to catch a break when it comes to his health.
Curious if anyone would bite on a discussion of whether or not giving a lifelong friend a few more years to live in exchange for the money you've earned, taking into account having your own family to put the money toward too, is something y'all would do. I would say I would, but I have earned neither real money nor children. I have an overhanging shadow of guilt that my monthly stipend comes from your tax dollars, so I'd like to donate to this guy's fund if you think that's appropriate, I think others here would want to as well.
Not a question for me. There are 4-5 people in this world that if they asked, I'd mortgage the house for them. The concept of "What is mine is also yours" is the best way to describe my thoughts on the matter. A long time ago, a few people were nice to me; that kindness took me from lost and homeless to having a career and a house and a hobby that is adding value to the world. I'd do the same for my friends in a heartbeat, no questions asked.Curious if anyone would bite on a discussion of whether or not giving a lifelong friend a few more years to live in exchange for the money you've earned
Similar to francopoli, I have some people in my life where it is a no-brainer. even though they are not always present in my life, I barely see them, and I do not always agree with their life choices, but money doesn't stand between us (as the arabs say).
I have a buddy with a bad heart. They've opened him up a few times this year, he's in and out of the hospital. Bought a suit recently, I said it was for a wedding we were going to but it was really for a wedding and a funeral. It sucks, not much more to say about it.
Shit sucks. I'm not gonna give advice one way or another, but I will say something annecdotately that might help with perspective. When I was having money problems every once in a blue moon my mother would send me a check in the mail, unsolicited. I never cashed them unless I was absolutely desperate and I kept track of every last dollar and when things got better I tried my best to pay her back a bit at a time. When Dala and I got married, her wedding gift to us was forgiving what was left of my debt. There is a deep, deep burning shame in that whole scenario that I honestly can't describe. Nothing has ever made me feel like less of a person and I honestly doubt I'll ever come across anything that ever will. I'm not mad at her, because what she did out of me she did out of love and concern, much like what you're considering is motivated by the same. I just think, maybe if you do something that big, you should throw some feelers out and see what kind response you get. After all, in the hardest of times, a man's dignity is the most important thing he has to hold on to.But then I put my name on it and it hangs over both of us. Maybe I don't put my name on it and then it hangs over me. I don't know.
My friends dad has cancer and I had a similar moment about a month back of just wanting to pay it off and put it to rest essentially. Even in Canada the expenses are insane, even with 80% drug coverage the expenses were thousands a month. Lucky for us the pharmacist was really upset by the entire thing and got my mom on some experimental treatment instead. I checked up on how the gofundme was doing and it looks like they just need 25$ more, it turns out there are lots of other generous people in this world that can be relied on. The whole thing really probably says more about my need to fix everything on my own than it does anything else. Maybe give something now and check back on how it's doing in a week or two ? I don't know, you'll figure it out.
Waiting for numbness to set in Today we are learning how big of liars mk and steve are regarding pain levels. --- 3 hours later They aren't liars. It's not painful at all. Like actually maybe a 1 or 2 with the most pain the numbing needle. But it is something crazy happening to your body and you will react as you do in those situations. randomuser shakes. I sweat and get lightheaded. I haven't donated blood in forever because I'm so small that I am basically done the rest of the day. It's short enough tho that even with anxiety and body reacting, it's over before it becomes unbearable. I also had a really emotionally, long, long draining day yesterday, hadn't eaten anything before the procedure and, as always, am running on little sleep. I would not recommend doing it under those circumstances. Having a watered down Gatorade helped heaps tho. --- The next day Definitely sore. Sorta feels like if you slip on ice really, really hard except its not on your tailbone. But tender to the touch, sore and achy around, and some weird, unexpected pains if you move a certain way. I took 400mg advil mid day, with 250mg norco at 9am and 6pm. I am tiny + low tolerance though, my 200mg norco is likely your 500mg norco. So basically, my recommendations on how to make it not as shitty as my experience: - Do the procedure later in the day when sleeping for 15 hours won't hurt much. - If you are a naturally anxious person, take half a valium beforehand. - Let the doctor know UP FRONT that you are nervous and do not want to know the details or see the things they use. (Kevin apparently got a much more in depth description of the procedure than I did 😂) - Get a good night's rest and make sure you have eaten a good breakfast (but probably a good while before the procedure because if I had thrown up, it would have been nice to throw up essentially nothing). - Headphones + favorite music (I did this, as I always do for things like this, and it helps keep me calm). I actually posted this original photo as I was waiting for the numbing to work and texted my brother up until the first needle ("brb getting stem cells taken") - Bring a watered-down yellow gatorade (watered-down because I find gatorade to be far too sugary and strong in general, but definitely too sugary after something like this). - Drink a little bit of gatorade or suck on a sugar cube before the procedure to help get your blood sugar up. - Remember to breath and that it's literally over in like 5 minutes, but prepare to spend at least an hour in the doctor's office between explanation, preparation, numbing, the actual procedure, and giving yourself 15 minutes to cool down / calm down afterwards. - Ask the doctor for an extra gauze / tape for yourself for the next day. I'm sure most people have things at their house that would work but we're in the middle of moving so kevin got cheap-y hotel face circle + painters tape this morning
thenewgreen needs to have his next song be titled "your cells are like a centerfold". 😂
Na na na na na na, na na na na na na na na.... stem cells like a centerfold.
My kingdom for a badge! I'm all out, it seems. Welcome to the future of science and medicine! You now have access to a store for your own stem cells that are no longer biologically aging. I look forward to being at your 100th birthday party! You and Kevin rule! Edit: Also, that photo is amazing!
At what point did you think something wasn't right with the directions? How familiar were you with the route heading into the race, especially having ran it the last two years? Do you agree with the four mistakes listed by Laz in that Facebook post?I didn’t mention my doubts that a group would have outthunk a sign, figuring this was all part of the Barkley mystique.
The point where I got off track came early in the day in previous years, so I was probably playing follow-the-leader and not paying close attention. Someone asked me if things looked familiar, and I didn't remember seeing so many yellow daisies at the side of the trail, but said I didn't know. You can see a lot of stuff in a day; it's hard to know what you didn't see! The four points Laz makes are sound, but fairly basic. #2 might have helped me, if it made me appreciate the risk of getting lost so I did more planning Obviously good advice. I used my map more the first year. Being "familiar" isn't enough, though, I should have made an expectation of when I would get to the next waypoint, so I would know when I should start worrying about being off course. Yeah, yeah, this is pretty basic. But the runners in front of me all stopped at the wrong turn, and I also made an effort to figure out where we were on the map. I was actually more confident than the group seemed to be about going the wrong way, and I am glad I didn't vocalize my thoughts. The "spur" Laz describes does not sound quite like the way we went, which I remember as being nearly straight ahead and similar jeep road. Though we did descend, and the correct left turn went up an incline. Some advice is only good in retrospect. If you stopped to think every time five minutes passed without a course marker, you would never get anywhere. This course is known for providing limited guidance and promoting self-reliance. Laz describes an "excited" runner who went off course "in a big hurry," and so didn't have the doubt trigger. Better to prepare by thinking ahead of where things are likely to go wrong. I was feeling good and thought that injury, bees, or exhaustion would be my most likely failure modes. Navigation wasn't on my mind as a risk factor, despite knowing that people always get lost. Michael Wardian, the seven marathons on seven continents in seven days guy, basically got lost right away at the real Barkley. We could have done better here. If we had gone back to the first wrong turn immediately after encountering the guy coming back from the lake, we wouldn't have lost more than an hour. But again, we were not sure that was the first wrong turn until we explored several other wrong turns.1) Look at the map and familiarize yourself with the route of the course.
2) Know where you are going, and do not just blindly follow the runner in front of you.
3) When in doubt, stop and think.
4) When you find yourself off course, return to the last place you knew you were on course.
I guess the lesson is compete close to home
That was rough seeing them do a U-turn. Lucky break for the local guy, though. The Chicago Marathon winner was the first U.S.-born winner since 1982. Another wrong turn:During the New York City Marathon race in November, he recovered from a wrong turn seven-tenths of a mile before the finish that put him 40 yards behind his countryman BenjamÃn Paredes. He ran a 5:15 final mile, including the detour, to beat Paredes by two seconds with a time of 2:11:21.[6] The incident earned him the nickname "Wrong-Way Silva".
other famous wrong-ways -- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Douglas_Corrigan
Corrigan claimed to have noticed his "error" after flying for about 26 hours. This is not entirely consistent with his claim that after 10 hours, he felt his feet go cold; the cockpit floor was awash with gasoline leaking from the unrepaired tank. He used a screwdriver to punch a hole through the cockpit floor so that the fuel would drain away on the side opposite the hot exhaust pipe, reducing the risk of a midair explosion. Had he been truly unaware he was over ocean, it seems likely he would have descended at this point; instead, he claimed to have increased the engine speed by almost 20% in the hope of decreasing his flight time.
He landed at Baldonnel Aerodrome, County Dublin, on July 18, after a 28-hour, 13-minute flight. His provisions had been just two chocolate bars, two boxes of fig bars, and 25 US gal (94.64 L) of water.
Mud holes on mountains baffle me, too. Why doesn't the water just run down hill?
I've been very inactive for the past week or so, I feel like I've been trying to impersonate a rock in every aspect of my life. It's a very strong funk. I finally just said fuck it and make a comment here on pubski. Hi everyone. I like reading about your lives. You're all very interesting, I'm rooting for you all. I don't have much specific to say. I'm going to go back to observing.
Hullo my pretties! Didn't we just have Pubski last week? Not too much to report, other than my weekend - I went out to Clare Island alright. Had a blast, to be honest - got to have a bunch of beers and chat to a lot of people. It's very peaceful out there. Climbed the "Big Hill" with this a guy named Marc, and later watched the Mayo vs. Dublin game. Mayo lost by a single point, so everyone was a bit depressed afterward. Check it out: Heading to the island! Looking north from the big hill. At the trig point. Sheep on the football pitch! Pink mountains at sunset. The view from my friend's family home's front door. Naught else to report, really. Spent the last couple of days down at my sister's house with my dad (installing an extractor fan in the kitchen and the gas boiler). I'm still writing book-about-the-walk very slowly but at least it's consistent, y'know?
I always end food delivery orders with "Love you!" regardless of gender to amuse myself with how they react and maybe even find love. Today I got a big heart with "Love you" in all caps on my receipt and my order for free!
The astronomy club is still raking in cash from all the eclipse work we have done. We now have 3 years outflows in the bank, and at least 5K more incoming at the beginning of the year and the city wants to give us money but is sitting on a big grant as they don't know what to do with us. I've done enough outreach this year to earn a national recognition, doing the paperwork on that now. I personally have shared astronomy and telescopes and a love of the night sky with over 10,000 people since January 2017.
I'm yet again burnt-out on science. Every time I think it's really a product of the current environment that bogs me down, but this time the pattern is starting to look apparent. I don't have the patience and fortitude to stick it out in academia, and even if I could compete there I don't think I'd want that life. I already know a QC-ish job would have me miserably bored. There's only so many careers that have a clear path from my terminal degree and I'm staring to rule them out one-by-one. I need to start looking at unconventional career paths. It I have no clue what to do.
Oh wow! That was unexpected. In order of importance: 1. How have you been!? 2. How are your bees doing!?
I'm fine. No offense to anyone here intended, it's a wonderful online community; but I made a deliberate decision a while back, to avoid hubski and a few other online reading sources that I was a little addicted to, in favour of re-claiming some of my free time for more deliberate reading (i.e real books), and listening to music. Some recent examples are The Expanse books, and "Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots" (both recommended). As far as point two, sadly, I have not had bees for the last two seasons. I may install a swarm this Spring if one presents itself, though. Would be nice to have some girls around the house again. Thanks for asking :-)
New roof goes on the house today. It started raining on Sunday, and basically hasn't really let up since then. Leave for the UK honeymoon in two weeks. Got 53 vintage typewriters on Saturday, and went through all of them on Sunday evening. Almost all working. Almost all needing a little TLC after 12+ years in storage. Got homes so far for about half of them, I think. Will be photographing them all this weekend, I expect. Started watching "Norsemen" on Netflix, and I could not be happier. It's like "Vikings" meets "Monty Python", with sardonic Norwegians. It is simply brilliant and funny. And I am eating a mini blackberry pie for breakfast, that I got at the West Seattle Farmer's Market. It's yummy.
Looks like the place still filling out. A mojito please. Life is going swimmingly since the area's gotten back up and running. My favorite park is still flooded over, but that hopefully will dry up in the next few weeks. School Everything is pushed back due date wise, and classes are crammed in. For the most parr, everything benefits my learning since we're getting more take-home work. Also, I've gotten ahead of some classes. Aside from that, my time prepping for Irma at my 'rents house was spent looking for my old Astrodynamics notes which has hella overlap in my GIS, Astronomy, and Calc courses. On another note, thanks for the suggestions on the alternatives to caffiene. Been playing with a mix of them and seeing which I like more. Aside from that, the goal of getting to bed easier - not kept up by caffiene - is achieved. Also, this GIS stuff is dope. We're getting spoon fed how to use the program during lecture. With careful notes, its an easy way to pick up another skill. Ex: This map is in the works displaying how roads related to high population cities. The sheer amount of data available to us boggles my mind. The goal of the class is to learn how to make 'good maps' alongside learning geographic information systems/sciences. Relationships Slowly stratching off my 2017 goals. The amount of work on myself since my last intimate relationship (as much as a teenager's can be) felt it warranted putting myself out there in hopes of seeing how I show up for myself and others when engaged in something other than platonic partnerships. Funny enough, success was found on an app. I met someone my age who's very new to the area, and starting on her PhD. Hot damn. I don't think I'd say we hit it off, but apparently it was good enough to warrant another meet up. Honestly, I'm confused. This is a first where I can't say I have butterflies in my stomach or any crazy nerves. Granted, we just met, I'm surprised to note there isn't a rush or thrill of meeting like I'm used to. Is this normal? Does this mean I don't care as much? Or is this growth? I distinctly remember during my time learning relationship counseling that the harder people feel initially attracted, the most they have in common with regards to woundings. Maybe that's a part of it, and maybe that's good. Anyways, I've been getting some real real affirmative feedback from her, so looking forward to how the week plays out. The read of the situation is so natural and anti-thetical to the hook-up culture people my age are known for. It's actually nice. It compliments the lack of nerves, and makes for a solid foundation for an actual friendship if the next step isn't intimate. Who would have thought... pinging lil, OftenBen, and goobster. Curious on y'all's thoughts on nerves vs. not in dating. If you're willing to share. Life On the whole, in an alright place. Using my notepad to draw stronger emotions rather than journaling. That said, looking forward to the occasional rd95 "Creatives of Hubski" threads. It's the high holidays. I know there's a few Landsman here. L'Shanah Tova. Here's to an easy fast coming up. EDIT: Don't think I'm explicit enough, the reason I'm most confused with the situation is the affirmations I'm getting despite feeling I'm not doing anything extraordinary or at least what I'd think is the right thing. Leads me to think either something's amiss with how/why she's reacting like so. Or I'm just a flat out idiot. So much for a lack of nerves. Guess theres a way to think nervous without feeling it.
Dorky response: Many campers believe their campfire is out when they don't see smoke, and it only feels "warm". "That won't start a fire," they think. And they walk away. The next day a forest fire breaks out, right where they were camping. Moral: Every fire is different. Some light easily, and burn fast. Others are slow to start, and keep a steady heat. Others smolder for a long time before becoming full-blown conflagrations. So warm your hands by your little flicker. Enjoy its light. Nurture it and feed it fuel if you want it to get bigger. Now preschool story time is done. Everyone get their blankies out, and lay down. It's nap time.
Or you just throw fireworks around a forest in the middle of the dry season with no comprehension that that is a terrible, no good idea...great advice, per usual!
1. L'shanah Tova to you too. My family has a Rosh Hashanah dinner when we can, so it will be Saturday. We've been adjusting holidays to suit us for years. Distances have to be considered, and since I'm the only one willing to host this and given that I live in the same city as my 90-year-old mother who refuses to travel out of town, I have to consider the homies and not have a family event on a working day. And then, rather than wait for one day of the year to self-reflect, I do it every day of the year. I wonder when these ancient practices of a desert tribe will disappear altogether. I have more to say on this another time, Kantos, but it's nice be a member of your tribe. Re relationships and given that I was pinged: Since you asked: It might be growth which I read as caution. It might be you don't care as much. You'll know soon. I was so burned by physical attraction that I just went with respect, thinking maybe that might be more reliable an indicator of a good match. It wasn't. Never underestimate the bonding that can be provided by shared interest in cuddling.Granted, we just met, I'm surprised to note there isn't a rush or thrill of meeting like I'm used to. Is this normal? Does this mean I don't care as much? Or is this growth?
We've adjusted to a similar style. We had our 'Rosh Hashanah gathering' today which consisted of bagels and lox (and shmear) with a side of apples dipped in honey. Hope yours went well. The idea of the traditions falling away has been on my mind as well granted less than 1% of the world have ever practiced them. That said, it's survived this long, making the question a bit harder to answer than a couple centuries, at least I'd like to think. Dually noted on relationships, and I value the perspective brought. Full disclosure, of late going with respect has found itself a notable share what I'm searching for, and makes sense how it could tie into why caution would serve as a suppressant to flourishing feelings after a period of introspection. Thank you for your two cents.
I'm closer to many of you than usual. Spent the last three days in Vancouver. I've already eaten so much fatty food, I could gladly never set foot in a diner again. Probably will though. I'm looking forward to meeting some of you. I posted about it but I'm on my phone so finding the link again is a hassle. Life is good. Pour me the finest beer the Pacific Northwest has to offer.
Yesterday was the hardest day of a hard week. I spent 4.5 hours trying to talk my Mom down from an Alzheimer's induced panic/paranoia/confusion episode. It happens most days but yesterday was intense. I wish she would just die. Yep, that is something I thought last night. As she was pushing me and accusing me of stealing from her. What an absolutely horrible thought. What bothers me most about that thought is that it is entirely selfish. I wish that for myself. She does not know that her personality has flipped from the super loving person she has always been. Or realize she is making interacting with her hell for all those that care about her. She is lucky that she has good friends that understand that she has severe brain damage so stick by her but many have been driven away. Her siblings rarely visit. 1 kid never. 1 kid maybe once a month for an hour if dinner is supplied. 2 kids daily. I cook, shop, manage money, arrange for her personal care, cleaning and everything else and she thinks I am the enemy. I am POA so am getting her house ready to sell in the spring and that is going to be a whole 'nother story. I expect her hate for me will intensify after I move her to a place that is best for her. Oddly 'nough, given kleinbl00's transplant story earlier, I was also relived that my Dad died (experimental lung transplant 30 years ago; first person in NA to take AZT; died like an AIDS patient). Relief was my very first reaction. I was incredibly sad and remain so to this day but I was really relieved that his years of hurting had come to an end. That is very different than the feeling of relief I believe I will feel when my Mom dies. What an absolutely horrible thought. Also found out today that that my buddy that I was planning on going on an month long eco-tourism tour of Central America with has to put that on hold until he "finds out what is is wrong with him". Would not really tell me what his issue was other than something stomach related. Might just go with myself for 2 weeks I guess. Getting old sucks. Or as my 97 year old grandma put it: Whoever said these were the golden years was a fucking liar.
Everything you are feeling about your mom is a super normal reaction to the situation you are both in. It probably takes a little bit of courage to go through the door and try once again to make her life a little more comfortable and pleasant. When you walk out that door you're probably sad, tired, lonely and feeling abused. At least that's how I felt dealing with a similar situation. Helping someone you loved out of this world is one of the finest things you can do. It's humbling, serving someone who isn't and is the person you loved. There are so many tough days and contradictory emotions at play and in the end you swallow them and come back the next day. Good luck to you and your mom.
Alzheimer's is 100000x worse than cancer. I'll make that argument any day. My Grandmother was the youngest of 12, 8 girls, 4 boys. Three of the boys died in WW2, four of the girls dies of things like polio, measles etc. The remaining women, with the exception of my grandmother, all slowly slipped away as their bodies kept chugging along. One of my aunts was arguably one of the wittiest, funniest, sharpest people in my life. Watching that light go out over a decade was worse than watching a family friend's body get eaten by cancer. At least with cancer you get to remain 'you' for lack of a better way. Taking care of a parent is rough, and hope that you get to have some down time. Doing the right thing by those we love and care for sucks, don't it.
I am a little late to the party... well :) Finished the practical work on an experiment that has been running since July. For those interested, picking 120 very specific single cells by hand and getting them ready for RNA-sequencing takes some time... But the libraries are ready and I am excited for my first experience with my own single cell sequencing dataset! I had my first Yoga lesson this week. It is the second time I do Yoga in my life and man is that intense. I used to think that Yoga is just some relaxing thing people do after work. This stuff is a hard workout! I still feel muscles I never felt before 2 days after the lesson. I can't wait for the next lesson... I feel a little weird about the mantra and the sanskrit counting and all those weird names for all the moves. Maybe that will get better. Summer is over in Germany. Have I said that I dislike winter? But it also means that it is winter project time. Just got an arduino and some starter kit to play around with. My roomate and I have an idea for an artpiece that we would like to set up in the city and maybe take next year to Borderlands (regional burn in Denmark). It involves loads of LEDs, some wood and hermann hesse! I have a friend I fell in love with last year. She is in a relationship and I am not able to get over it. She is not really making it easier because she gets very close when we are alone. I don't feel good about it, decided to stop seeing her.
More later, busy day at the hospital today. For now, here's the question that has been bumping around in my head for the past few days. 'What do I want out of the last half of my 20's? What will I look back on and be proud of?' SUBHEADINGS Work I define myself a little too much by my job methinks. Excited about a project coming up that could markedly increase the numbers of livers and kidneys available for transplant annually. Willing patients will be scarce, but the protocol is simple for those who qualify. No new drugs, just new applications of existing ones. More details as I am free to share them. School Italian is rough at present. I can sort of 'think' in french, but then, I started french in high school. I'm listening to Jordan Peterson's Maps of Meaning: The Architecture of Belief series on youtube. I've had mixed feelings about him since I first heard him on Sam Harris podcast, I have mixed feelings about him now but he has some new ideas, or at least interesting presentations of old ideas. Earlier Question When I chart out how I spend my time, how I will spend my time for the next few months, I have a few hours each week left open for some kind of creative/constructive something. I feel good about how I'm using the currently allocated time, and I feel good about what that will accomplish. There's a part of me that says I do too much already and need to use at least a chunk of that time as true relaxation, not just a biologically mandated rest period. There's another part that says I have energy, I should use said energy. I think for the moment I'm going to use it to read more, though I don't want that to become the permanent use of it unless I decide on sticking with it purposefully. I'm reminded of lil and thenewgreen discussing hockey-playing. Things to think about, books to read, delicious food to cook, lots of experiences to have.
For example, one of the things on the list was "go on stage." There are many stages. Soon after that I became involved in community radio and stayed actively involved for many years (ButterflyEffect). That seemed stagey enough to meet my need for performance. So good for you for even asking. It's a question worth seriously considering.'What do I want out of the last half of my 20's? What will I look back on and be proud of?
When I was about 25, I was living in Vancouver with one of many Mr. Wrongs. I made a list of things I wanted to do before I turned 30. It helped me realize that the road I was on was not leading to my desired destination. Some of the things on the list were achieved before 30. Some took me a little longer.
Community radio has been a superbly disappointing experience after college radio. sigh. I don't really do radio anymore, lil.
oh no'What do I want out of the last half of my 20's? What will I look back on and be proud of?'
I literally sent kleinbl00 this kind of thing mapped in half-drunkenly sent email about a month ago. Uh, glad we're doing the same thing, I guess?When I chart out how I spend my time, how I will spend my time for the next few months, I have a few hours each week left open for some kind of creative/constructive something. I feel good about how I'm using the currently allocated time, and I feel good about what that will accomplish.
Had a fun weekend visiting my parents. Met my sister's new boyfriend, who is so much nicer and considerate than her ex ever was. One of my best friends from my previous university graduated so that evening we got most of our rowing team/friend group together. To celebrate, we got wasted like the good 'ol days. (Beerio Kart ftw.) At around 4AM I had enough so I shepherded my more-alcoholic-than-student buddy back to his home where I was staying overnight. Twelve hours later, I was largely sobered up and spent the afternoon with family at my grandpa's birthday party before travelling four hours back home. The only downside to the weekend is that I've been sleeping terribly the last three days. Hopefully I can depend less on coffee tomorrow.
Very very excited for this upcoming weekend. Have a friend flying out from the east coast, going on what should be a really cool thru-hike involving renting out a cabin, and then next weekend hit the same kind of things all over again. I'm kind of tempted to go back to Banff in November (maybe a little crazy?). Registered for another trail half marathon which is in February. Things aren't slowing down, and don't look like they will anytime soon. Maybe I'm just going a little crazy.
After your last Banff trip, you said your running felt like starting all over. How long did that feeling take to go away? I hiked Sunday through Tuesday and then did my regular Thursday and Saturday runs. The Saturday one was my worst long run in a year, though my Tuesday run yesterday felt a little slow but otherwise fine. I'm hopeful I'll be back in the swing of things by this weekend.
That one took three weeks due to a lot of reasons. What I'm finding, though, is that it's possible to over-rest, and that running the very next day is the best thing to do. Even if it's hobbling for two miles it's helped me more with recovering than taking an extended period of time away from physical activities. However, I'm also noticing that some days or strings of days are just not good running days, for one thing or another. Hand-waving.
Original Original Original Art The past few weeks, I've been addicted to wandering around Wikimedia looking at works from old illustrators and engravers from about the late 1700s to the early 1900s. The sheer variety and quality of stuff that's out there just kind of blows my mind. Once I think I've seen it all, I stumble on something new, and I'm back into the rabbit hole all over again. I fucked around with some images that I really liked using gimp. They're not good, but they were fun to make and I promised a non-Hubskier I was gonna share what I made with them and it's just as easy to just send them a link to this post as it is to e-mail the images, so I'm killing two birds with one stone. Work I'm job hunting again. I think I might end up biting the bullet and take a massive pay cut just to GTFO of where I am. I'm near frustrated with my job to begin with, but continuous long term employment looks less and less likely and I don't know what to do anymore. I've shot out a few resumes in the past week. Got zero responses. It's a blow to the ego. Mood I'm tired.
Thanks! That was the first glitch one I made that went well. I'm trying to figure out how to recreate some of the glitches you see when you're OTA TV signal gets messed up, but it's harder than it looks. This one obviously, looks nothing like any of those glitches, I just wanted to make something to emphasize the look of panic on her face.
Was doing good, until I came back home last Friday and now I don't fucking want to go back on the road for the next 1.5 months. Summer is finally here in Canada with 30 degree weather and all my buddies going to the country house, building an extension to a good friends piece of shit cabin that we all love to visit. But i'm an idiot for complaining. The job is fun, i'm traveling (meeting internet friends along the way sometimes - had a great time in LA <3, Who has our group picture again? ) , i'm making money and it's only 1,5 months.
You mean the one where I avoid airhands by possessively asserting the patriarchy?
First to the party for a change. One of the wonderful things about my daughter starting daycare has been all the friends she's bringing home. And by "friends" I mean various plagues. I've been sick on-and-off for the last 3-4 weeks, with this past week being the worst. I woke up Sunday-before-last with what felt like the flu, which worsened on Monday (had a fever of 101 that night), and then was slightly less-bad on Tuesday. By Wednesday it had migrated to my lungs, and I was getting out of breath with a quickness. I then improved slightly but not a lot, and had a bad cough that just hung around. Finally went to the doctor Monday after work, and got diagnosed with bronchitis. I'm on antibiotics, which seems to be helping. My mental health is doing okay, and I'm definitely making progress at figuring out some bad habits. I'm hoping to write more about this sooner or later, but I keep finding new stuff and refining things, so anything I write becomes obsolete pretty quickly. Nothing else on the more prosaic side. Being sick has meant I haven't been especially productive, but I'm slowly trying to get back into the swing of things.
Life's pretty good, but seems a bit boring. Mostly that's because I spent the past few weeks doing some failure analysis and reports, which took forever and could have been summed up with "try not to break it this time", but the analysis had to be done for CYA reasons mostly. Anyway, on to more interesting stuff at work now. I sometimes think I should be doing something more important with my life. Or at least find a more interesting and meaningful hobby. Also I'm restless because I want the heat to end and get some fall weather already. Running in the heat sucks, and I haven't been running often enough to make much progress.
Hidden within eight letters, A history of pain, rejection and disappointment, And an overt message of joy and appreciation, And a tacit hope, a prospective optimism and an absolution of self, Three sounds combined, Deliver all of this in a commonly understood sentence, Quietly, simply implying more, Between two people, Than any text can convey, To any remote audience. The perfect distillation, A momentarily forgotten yesterday, A beautiful now, And the prospect that what was once poison, Can also be panacea.
Here's a poem by William Butler Yeats that's full of Celtic imagery. I memorized it long ago, and find it useful on hikes through the woods. It might be a little too lyrical for your tastes, but easy to memorize. Because a fire was in my head, And cut and peeled a hazel wand, And hooked a berry to a thread; And when white moths were on the wing, And moth-like stars were flickering out, I dropped the berry in a stream And caught a little silver trout. I went to blow the fire a-flame, But something rustled on the floor, And someone called me by my name: It had become a glimmering girl With apple blossom in her hair Who called me by my name and ran And faded through the brightening air. Through hollow lands and hilly lands, I will find out where she has gone, And kiss her lips and take her hands; And walk among long dappled grass, And pluck till time and times are done, The silver apples of the moon, The golden apples of the sun. but there are many... I went out to the hazel wood, When I had laid it on the floor
-------------------- Though I am old with wandering