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lil's profile
lil

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following: 201
followed tags: 39
followed domains: 4
badges given: 92 of 94
hubskier for: 3728 days

She/her

_refugee_’s occasional hubski mom.

Sometimes I talk:

Me and humanodon in Boston!

Me and insomniasexx in LA!

mk, theadvancedapes, ecib, thenewgreen, me, insomniasexx, b_b in Detroit!

me, someguyfromcanada, coffeesp00ns, in Toronto.

Robert, mkaram, me and flagamuffin on my front porch

blackbootz, me, mivasairski, Jess, _refugee_ in Baltimore

And since you asked, I came across Hubski while searching for the Higgs-Boson.

recent comments, posts, and shares:
lil  ·  15 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Circles

Further thoughts on the lyrics of this song, "Driving in circles to find what you need."

I'm reminded of relationships in which the other person really did want to give me what I needed and probably found himself driving in circles -- but had no idea what I needed and was unable or unwilling to actually listen to me when I told him.

I have so many questions:

Why doesn't he know what she needs?

Why doesn't he go in a direct line to her soul and communicate his struggle?

Is she silent? Does what she need not fit into his idea of what she should need?

Is what she needs something he won't understand because it is threatening?

Does he keep giving her things she doesn't need and can't understand why she isn't grateful?

Relationships, sigh.

lil  ·  15 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Circles

The line about going in circles trying to find out what you need has led to some thoughts. I’ll definitely try to write later, but I’m on my way out to walk in the rain.

lil  ·  15 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Circles

Oh, yes: search for “caribouski” and all is revealed.

For now, though, I’m working on my next one-woman show and there are no caribou in it (so far).

lil  ·  15 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Circles

Didn’t we do a group story once on hubski about caribou?

lil  ·  15 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Circles

Driving in circles to find what you need.

It’s a sad love song. So sad.

I love these reminders to create create express create.

lil  ·  50 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: In the Span of a Winking Eye -- Song I made tonight

Your covid report is very distressing. Damn.

I have stuff to say. I'll post to you as a dm or email.

lil  ·  62 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Hubski Virtual Meetup No. 11, featuring a concert by am_Unition!

c_hawkthorne

DM me with a WhatsApp or Messenger phone #.

lil  ·  110 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: My Mother's Beautiful Life Ended Wednesday at 6:00 p.m.

Thanks for the note dear friend. I’ve been enjoying the pics of your family vacation on fb. I’m lying very low for now.

But will emerge. I have the daunting task of empty my mom’s home this summer.

lil  ·  111 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: My Mother's Beautiful Life Ended Wednesday at 6:00 p.m.

Thank you all for reading. Thank you mk, petcapaldi and dear steve. I will respond more when I’m able.

lil  ·  165 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: May 12, 2021

My community has a huge litter problem, but I’m only picking up aluminum drink cans. It’s depressing but also totally fun. When I have an important phone call, someday with you, I wonder off towards the nearby train tracks and brown fields and former homeless encampments.

I can donate them to the city recycling program, but if I get 3200, I can get $58 and donate that to the homeless. We’ve got 526 so far. (Also, I just love to walk. Lots or forests and trails here. If you Google earth down to the westernmost end of Lake Ontario, it becomes wetlands and wild lands where I prowl.)

lil  ·  165 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: May 12, 2021

thenewgreen‘s recent song Meta My Eyes was an unexpected earworm while out scavenging aluminum (one recycled can=400 pounds of ore not mined).

lil  ·  167 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Meta My Eyes

Writing songs seems like such a great way to touch on these themes, work on building awareness. I'm going over to pm, see you there.

lil  ·  169 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Meta My Eyes

    And when I lied it was for you.

    I told myself it was for you.

so important to become aware of the stories we tell ourselves. It is hard to let go of the stories we tell ourselves.

What stories am I still telling myself?

lil  ·  170 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: April 21, 2021

I knew that you weren't specifically asking about w-l balance, but I thought I'd address it anyway.

As for this

    How do you define balance in your life?
I’m wondering why that question was coming up for you.
lil  ·  186 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: April 21, 2021

Bravo. Rays of light and happiness.

lil  ·  186 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: April 21, 2021

Thanks for the badge thenewgreen. I was hoping you’d notice the hockey reference.

lil  ·  186 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: April 21, 2021

!!!!

lil  ·  186 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: April 21, 2021

“Not uncommon”??? There is always April snow in Montreal - and occasionally June too. :) I heard that on CBC this morning.

lil  ·  186 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: April 21, 2021  ·  

I don’t believe in “work-life balance.” I don’t think our experience of living is binary. Life is life and can include work, nature, climbing, biking, picking up aluminum, parent care, child care, studying, and so on.

If we need, say, music in our lives and don’t have it, be attuned to the hunger. If you don’t feed yourself what you need (rest, contact with others, touch, hockey, whatever) you might become passive-aggressive, aggressive, or even develop panic attacks.

lil  ·  186 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: April 21, 2021

Mouth shut sounds like a plan. Don’t engage.

But if you did, don’t challenge or confront in any way. Maybe say, “I’m not sure what you meant by xxxx. Could you explain?

No sarcasm, no irony.

Or, “Thanks for your text. What I hear you saying is . . . then paraphrase the mean tweet giving her the most positive and generous interpretation, followed by - is that it?”

lil  ·  193 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: April 14, 2021

OK, I've read and circle-dotted everything up to 3:38 p.m. whether it made sense or not. Regarding mk's lament below, I'm on my way to walk to the clinic to pick up a lab requisition and small container to get a sample to take to my mom's as she might have a UTI. Maybe you do too, mk. A UTI can also cause delirium, so watch out. mk's comment below makes the USA feel even more like a very foreign country.

As for me, spring spring. Maybe. We'll see. While we do not have four 169-gallon steel feeding troughs for vegetable gardens, like goobster, we do find discarded furniture -- deep book shelves and chests -- in dumpsters and along alleys that we fill with soil to plant vegetables. Kale kale kale last year and cherry tomatos. This year, kale, snow peas (very exciting!), maybe cucumbers, and so on.

Onward!

Meanwhile, Covid continues to be worsening here and vaccines are slower coming than yours. In that way, you are FIRST WORLD. Booked for dose #1 on Saturday.

lil  ·  199 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Hubski Virtual Meetup No. 9

I’ll be home soon.