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lil's profile
lil

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following: 203
followed tags: 39
followed domains: 5
badges given: 93 of 95
hubskier for: 4192 days

She/her

_refugee_’s occasional hubski mom.

Sometimes I talk:

Me and humanodon in Boston!

Me and insomniasexx in LA!

mk, theadvancedapes, ecib, thenewgreen, me, insomniasexx, b_b in Detroit!

me, someguyfromcanada, coffeesp00ns, in Toronto.

Robert, mkaram, me and flagamuffin on my front porch

blackbootz, me, mivasairski, Jess, _refugee_ in Baltimore

And since you asked, I came across Hubski while searching for the Higgs-Boson.

recent comments, posts, and shares:
lil  ·  10 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: I AM SO DAMN GRATEFUL FOR HUBSKI ARCHIVES

California by any chance?

lil  ·  27 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: January 4, 2023

Hi Steve! Congrats on changing relationship with food. I just dropped caffeinated coffee cold turkey. My BP was high and my heart was racing for no reason. I’ll text you in church sometime.

lil  ·  27 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Questions for the New Year - or any time.

Wow! Thanks for answering, both written and audio answers! It’ll take me a while to read and listen and respond, but I will.

lil  ·  28 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night - Dylan Thomas

It's a gorgeous poem, one that I thought of a lot recently after surgery.

Going gently makes a lot of sense to me now.

Raging - not so much.

Perhaps I'll change my mind next week.

lil  ·  31 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: HAPPY NEW YEAR HUBSKI!!!

Came to say the same thing. Happy New Year Hubski.

lil  ·  31 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: December 28, 2022

Agreed. The Israeli ambassador to France just quit. Could not in good conscience accept policies if this government.

lil  ·  31 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: December 28, 2022

Insane fun is a fabulous foundation. Grow. Deepen. Accept. Encourage.

lil  ·  41 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: December 21, 2022

I agree essentially with kb. If you’re vulnerable, you mght say, “come back after you’ve done your exploring.” That’s respectful, loving, and self-protecting.

Or just continue deepening the fun and closeness and base the “relationship” on the shared experiences of feeling heard, understood, and enjoyed. Live the relationship in real time.

I suspect that you putting contingencies on her exploring (like the ones you mentioned above) would feel controlling to her. It would be like YOU telling HER the parameters of her self-exploration.

Totally and genuinely accept her current presenting self as her best understanding of herself now. Find fun and personal growth in the situation as it is.

Have a great dinner tonight!!

lil  ·  41 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: December 21, 2022  ·  

bfx, the important thing is to have fun now, to deepen your relationship now, and continue being honest and open about fears and feelings. “Now” is all that’s real.

I went through three long relationships and two (too) long marriages before I stumbled across my current partner and and for the first time didn’t want to be with anyone else.

I was sixty-fucking-three when I got it, that monogamy is just wanting to have the best time with someone you like — not externally imposed.

Prior to now in my life, monogamy was just another word for controlling. If monogamy is not based on the desire and joy in being together, then it’s control. Good for her that she’s exploring her feelings about sex and sexuality. She may want to do more exploring than you feel comfortable with - if that’s the case, figure out the roots of your discomfort- which is probably insecurity, which leads to control.

Still, time with others is time not with you.

Having a “relationship” or an imagined “future” with someone does not replace the necessity of also having to have a life.

lil  ·  43 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Get Outside

Hi bfx

I know Lillooet. I used to live in Mount Currie Back then, the only way to Lillooet was on a hydro road. Lots of sad history. Canmore is also beautiful.

Happy hiking.

lil  ·  44 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: I AM SO DAMN GRATEFUL FOR HUBSKI ARCHIVES

I guess that's true. I met you once in person, but I "attended" the birth of #2.

I miss you. I miss "talking" to you and steve. But to get to know you better -- what does that even mean? We're always changing anyway.

Anyway, those "great" days, were dark days when staying up listening to great radio and responding to hubski was WAY MORE INTERESTING than going to bed with my then husband.

I will visit Hubski more. I have questions!!

xxxoo

lil  ·  44 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: I AM SO DAMN GRATEFUL FOR HUBSKI ARCHIVES

yeessss -- and some of us know some of those reasons!

lil  ·  44 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: I AM SO DAMN GRATEFUL FOR HUBSKI ARCHIVES

I assume you mean the mean the metaphorical hubski-lit blaze. But if you mean a realy fire, what state are you in. I mean US state, not state of mind (or state of dress or undress).

lil  ·  44 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: I AM SO DAMN GRATEFUL FOR HUBSKI ARCHIVES

I will keep it burning. It's burning now. There's much to say. I'll be back.

lil  ·  44 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Get Outside

    Is it bitterly cold and snow-blasted??

It depends very much on where you are -- although potentially everywhere can be bitterly cold and snow-blasted. Vancouver is milder.

lil  ·  44 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Get Outside

omg!! You will have warm weather. How wonderful! And tennis. Sigh. it's cold here, but I spent a lot of time outside, getting the last of the ceramic flower pots indoors and getting the wet wood-rotting leaves off the wooden deck. And crushing aluminum. I'll have to write a post about aluminum soon.

My brother said he identifies with all his characters, even the villains. He says that he has to fully get inside his characters to understand their motives.

I also asked him if he had a philosophy of comedy. He did. Comedy is creating a situation in which the underdog embarrasses the top dog.

Of course, it's a lot more than that, but that's always at the back of his mind. A specific event in his childhood made him realize the power of language to affect and offend the oppressor, and create language, and thenewgreen if you ask, I'll tell you that story.

ONWARD.

lil  ·  49 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Bugski? Not getting notifications of new replies in a thread?

Also not getting notifications for shout outs like this mk

lil  ·  49 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Get Outside

It sounds fabulous. I could so use some 24 degrees C right now. I'm in Canada.

1) are you a student, just finished for the year? If yes, a student of what?

2) How did you become acquainted with hubski?

lil  ·  49 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Get Outside

great images -- the asphalt waving!

. . .through the maze

Where are you?

lil  ·  49 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Get Outside

Walking through the neighborhood where I grew up, where the house that was my mother’s is:

I passed “Stevenson’s.” This is kind of an antique store full of oddments.

I asked Mike Stevenson to look at my mother’s stuff after she died in June 2021. He took some furniture and a bunch of odd things, games, costume jewelry. He gave me $100 for the odd things.

Walking by just now I saw my mother’s Scrabble game. Or was it my mother’s?

I regretted giving it to him. It had wooden tiles - I was told they don’t make wooden Scrabble tiles anymore (Is that true?). Also I’ve lost several tiles in my set and replaced them with cardboard.

I went in.

I said, “Can I buy back my mother’s Scrabble game?”

“ Just take it,” said Stephenson’s wife as she called Mike over.

“just take it,” said Mike.

lil  ·  49 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Get Outside

Love to hear what you come up with.

lil  ·  49 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Get Outside

Just read that fantastic writing prompt!

What a time we had.

New and different times now.