Infrastructure & Planning student in the Netherlands.
Sometimes make things like this:
And I write here:
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If I may quote myself from the latest book thread:
- 12 Rules for Life by Jordan Peterson. No, I did not read this because of the lobster thing, mostly because I didn't even know that was a thing until today. I did find that a weird and unconvincing part, but that doesn't really matter in the context of the book itself. It reads, and should be read, entirely as a long Sunday sermon buy a pastor who goes on unscientific tangents every now and then. Meaning, science and I disagree with most of what he says, but there are pieces of advice in there that are just what some people need at some moment in their life, which is what redeems it. I would not recommend the book, but might send some passages to people some day.
Peterson wrote, basically, a book-length Hallmark card. If it sounds true enough, people will find meaning in it.
This week feels like a week for headings.
So after sitting in on a few D&D sessions with my roommate's friends, and realizing that they're all dope people, I decided to join their campaign proper. I've created an Aasimar character that's a mix between Altaïr, Luke Skywalker in TLJ and Jesus because a masked rogue assassin with high dexterity and charisma seemed like a lot of fun to play. Together with the DM we found a cool way to tie my backstory up with the big enemy the party's been hunting down. It was challenging (but a TON of fun) to improv my character.
Thanks for all the feedback! I've ended up with a system where I write down advice, book notes, interesting thoughts and recommendations with labels in Google Keep. Each note gets a named source, whenever possible. Once a week I transfer those notes to a big Markdown file sorted chronologically. It takes less time than writing this, so it's not hard to keep up. One thing I've already noticed is that I write down a lot of quotes about time. I've also been reading Conspiracy by Ryan Holiday and made a lot of notes, both capturing the gist of the book as well as interesting thoughs and quotes. It's made me a more active reader, which is never a bad thing.
Speaking of notes: me and my housemate/best friend have been writing a small diary web-app together as a small side-project. The idea behind it is to simply write something every day. He did most of the webdev, I did the visuals. It's nothing big and probably not permanent, so be warned, but you can check it out here. If only for the fancy animation
I think I have figured out my upper body movement and breathing pattern. My leg kick, however, is still ultra-useless: if I only use my legs, I would not be surprised to be overtaken by a snail. The swimming instructor got me to try on flippers, which was a whole 'nuther thing. I can do that on my back, but it is somehow much more difficult when I'm face down in the water. He recommended me training fins, which are basically very very short flippers, and they seem to improve my kick somewhat but it is definitely a work in progress.
I finally got around to finishing the first rough draft of my paper! The four professors that helped me with my thesis, as well as the professor that inspired me for that, all want to help me write a paper. The move, new job and new life made it a bit harder than expected to find stretches of uninterrupted time. I think my draft sucks, but most of my writing sucks for a long time until it doesn't so I guess I just need to grind this more.
—That one app—
First off, thanks for the advice y'all. I've had a surprising amount of matches this week. Most of which resulted in ghosting from me or her, but that's just how that works. But I had a date this Sunday, and she's cute and smart and there's a second date coming so that's neat. And if that doesn't work out...well, there are avenues to explore. We'll see. :)
Principles of justice are entirely human, abstract and personal. Our ideas of what is fair is also changing dramatically over the decades. While in nature it does sometime look like justice arises (e.g. when animals share some other animal they hunted), this is not much more than a complex (tribal) survival mechanism. So no, I don't think it's universal or constant.
I'm currently of the position that sufficiently autonomous vehicles should come with free but mandatory afternoon of training on a track. If driving a freakin' fork lift requires a license, so should endangering others on highways at high speeds.
- As an aside, they should probably rethink what they call the thing.
AutoLiability? Or is that too much on the nose...
- Doubt is a reminder to look inward from time to time, and make sure you are who you think you are. Doubt is a fortune cookie fortune: Interesting in the moment, but useless in the long run.
I love this. Much better advice than any fortune cookie I've ever read. Doubt, particularly about self-worth, is the bane of my existance, but it must end.
PS: you're welcome 🐼
Thanks, goob, it is much appreciated. :)
I wasn't actually being a sad panda out there. What I tried to say is that despite having a good time, or maybe because of it, I was confronted with what I feel like I am missing out on, which happens to be an aspect of my life that hasn't changed in the last decade. It doesn't feel like a hump, it felt like a reminder of the valley of insecurity that I was thrown in as a kid and am still climbing out of.
I have made a lot of progress, in no small part because of a bunch of people reading here. I like my job, my friends, love my family, I am getting smarter every day, and I'm physically and mentally fit. (Hell, I might be getting actual visible abs if I keep this swimming thing up! It's bananas.)
But I want to share that with someone on a deeper level, and my apparent inability to do so makes me feel like the loser they used to tell me I was.
And that is probably not true, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.
Pour me a strong one bartender, I need to vent.
"I regret my failures. What I regret more are my failures to try."
Last Friday I had a great evening with a bunch of my colleagues. My company, small as it is, has a handful of 'divisions'. They're like business units except there's no management and everyone is self-organised around a topic. So I went with the ten people involved in sustainable transportation (mostly EVs and carsharing, but in the process of tackling more) to this great Ethiopian place. I've never had Ethiopian before, but they brought out two enormous plate full of food for everyone to share and eat. Spicy, but delicious. To cool our stomachs, we went out to a few bars that were participating in a local-brewery-fest. It – the evening, the people, the places – was incredibly gezellig.
But I still ended up wallowing in self-pity on the way back home. We ended the evening at a small club, and after the music got too loud to talk, I just danced a bit while sipping yet another beer and watching people. I'm not the kind of guy to go talk it up with girls at a bar – never was, never will be. I've also been alone for like forever, and I can't say those two things haven't gnawed at me. So while other people were having fun and/or hooking up, I just felt incredibly, eternally lonely, despite being with great people, and having friends that I value in my life. And I did not try anything, because I don't even know where to start.
The next day, after waking up and taking my swimming class slightly hungover, I decided to make a change. If I can go from 'not at all moving forward' to 'doing a mediocre front crawl' in a few weeks, surely I can show some dedication and persistance in other parts of my life by giving it a try. Making an effort is worth something in my book, and I'm not even doing that. So I gave that one app another shot. No dates yet. Maybe I'll give speeddating a try. I don't know what I should do, but I want to try harder.
In the mood for Air this week. If Daft Punk were to be asked to do a tribute to Bowie, I think this would kinda be how that would sound.