Finished up the bike touring - time to plan out the Nepal trip. Right now we are torn between doing the Manaslu trek and the 3 passes trek. Both have positives/negatives but in the end I know whichever one we pick will be good. I’m a little worried about being cold and altitude sick and tired from the heavy backpack and getting food poisoning and being dirty with limited laundry available. But the past month has given me confidence in my resilience so I welcome the challenge and know it’s going to be a worthwhile experience in the end.

I’m slowly making moves to set myself up for success at my return back home. Feeling motivated to focus on my career (something I have never done in my life ever) and invest into my health by exercising more. It’s finally dawning on me that by making plans and setting goals I stand a chance of getting something done. I think in the past I just never cared to, or didn’t know what I wanted well enough to try. I was happy to hop from one fun opportunity to the next, amassing experiences in the process. But now I’m wanting to leverage these experiences into something more than another funky gig. Ive always had an entrepreneurial mindset and have had moderate success in all the little projects I have attempted. But in my youthful naivety secretly hoped to luck upon some untapped goldmine in my attempts. I’ve uncovered some good plans, but they were all short lived as others start to clue in eventually. Excited for what’s to come and what the future holds for me now that I’ve chosen to make it my focus.

Mentally, I’m doing really good actually and the trip has been amazing for my breakup processing. It’s not something I think my ex would have enjoyed too much or that I would have done with him. So it’s cool to do something that I feel is my own. Still had a rough moment yesterday, hesitating between buying a ticket for a regional burn event in Ontario. We’ve always done the events together and now I don’t have a car to get there or even a tent. All common friends but also a ton of new fun people attending. I could find a tent and ride easily - but do I WANT to is the question. We’re on good very friendly terms. I can’t tell if I’ll regret going or not going more. I cried, made a pro/cons list and talked to my friend about it that offered me a spot in their camping area. Still can’t decide…

We only have 4 short biking days on the trip left to compete the Taiwan bike touring! It’s been really fun and exactly what I needed. Then we’re going to Nepal, but we’re out of luck because a new law has hat will force us to hire a guide. The law gets into effect 5 days before we get there. Found super cheap flights back, with a day stop in Abu Dhabi and a week in Italy.

About halfway through our biking trip! The last few days were flat and easy - we’re making better time and having lots of rest days because the cities are mostly on the west coast. There are harder days coming in the second part, with hills and headwind and more daily kms but I’m more confident now that it’s very doable.

I’ve been in a general good mood, reflecting about my past and future. There are still worries and regrets that bubble up but I feel like it’s getting better. Having lots of fun hypothetical conversations with my friends.

Jerome is convinced AI will lead to the end of the world within 10-20 years. AND that it’s statistically most likely we’re living in a simulation. It’s all wild and cooky ideas but he’s thought about it a lot so I don’t have any very convincing counter-arguments, just a general “naaaaah” feeling and loose ideas of why it doesn’t seem right. Mostly because it feels unlikely that the truth would align with our current zietgist of popular theories. But in the end we’re all in agreement that it doesn’t impact how we live our life so it’s just fun things to think about while we ride.

Another topic of recurrent debate is what’s “heathy” - and that’s easier to research on the spot with nutrition and stuff. Should we fast? Eat different color veggies? Is animal fat unhealthy? Etc…

We’re splitting hotel rooms, and it’s between 15-25$ per night per person. Not fancy but solid on the essential amenities like showers.

Convenience stores are everywhere with surprisingly decent food and space to eat and bathrooms.

So far, not very hilly but we’re only 1/4 done. I think the more hilly part is up ahead but since we’re not going inland we’re avoiding the big mountains. Cut out sunmoon lake because after our first few days it seemed too hard.

It’s not easy, but probably the easiest bike touring possible, perfect for a first trip.

First proper day of bike touring in Taiwan and I’m spent. We’re going about half the speed we hoped for or what is displayed on maps. So 5.5h turned into a 12h day (with stops and food). It’s gonna be brutal, but I still think it’s feasible. Maybe my sore body will disagree tomorrow. I guess we underestimated the difficulty of the trip. And I don’t remember last time I actually seriously exercised. The good thing is that Taiwan is the most convenient place ever. 711s with food and bathrooms about every 20 mins, and we can take an emergency train back anytime. So we’ll keep going and hopefully make better time by the end of it.

Got a good fortune at the temple that was very positive - that my life is on the “up and up”. I didn’t think it meant hills!

Classic timmies order is a double double (2 milk 2 sugar). I’m sure plenty people drink black. Fast and easy. Waiting 30 mins to order a black coffee at Starbucks feels dumb. I’ve often seen long ass drove through coffee lines n the morning and can’t fathom why people do it considering it’s longer and more expensive and worse than making your own… but I don’t drink coffee so i guess I just don’t understand. What did I just read, the pictures are terrible. “Here is plain joe with his cup of joe”.

Arrived in Taiwan and started to plan the bike touring! Loving Taipei so far - good weather, safe, clean and cheap here.

It’s so smooooth! Really enjoying your art you’ve posted on here.

Love it, they seem like fun and kind folks. Makes me want to read the book just for the stories. I’m a habitual hanger outer, especially at my friends Vlad. The key is that he has a very predictable fixed schedule - so I can almost always guess where he’ll be. And feel always welcome showing up uninvited either at his home or the cabin over the weekend.

After 3 days on the road sleeping is airplanes and busses - I’m in Koh Tao, Thailand. Doing my first diving class tomorrow. Cheers!

First day back on the wagon - made it trough my month of no drinking! I'm quite proud of myself for sticking to it, I feel it was a good and much needed reset and it gave me some good perspectives.

I had lots of engaging conversations with my family. I'm sure having the first being born grandchild helped but it's been nice to feel this closeness and family pattern introspection with everyone. Like everyone is recallibrating and finding their place in their new roles, super cool.

Had lots of meaningful hangs with the friends too, and with new friend groups. Everyone was really supportive and it's reassuring to know I have the same solid group of peeps with me if I want to keep it wholesome :) A few awkward moments sprinkled in there, I think I've inadvertently gotten used to be surrounded by a big community of people that know and care about me. It happened slowly and I didnt realize in most social situations people know more of me than I know of them. So showing up at new parties where I was a stranger was really unsettling. I felt like a fish out of water, didn't quite know how to even start a conversation or introduce myself. But I think I'll get my mojo back once i'm back traveling on the road at hostels. I used to be a professional small talker after all.

On the downside, I don't know if it's the seasonal funk or the lack of work and structure - but motivation even on the getting outta bed level has been hard lately. And not having the excuse of a hangover puts it at the forefront. I expected to be MORE productive sober but in the end i think i was less so. My major "to-do" points are in order so i'm all good. But all the optional things that are supposed to make me feel good instead of scrolling are picking up dust and I don't know how to kick myself in the ass to get going.

I'm no climbing expert, but i've once seen a beginner (as in never climbed in her life) lady absolutely brute force up a wall and leave all other beginners in the dust - looking like an absolute beast stuck to the wall all muscles engaged the whole way. It was impressive. Climbing is lots of technique actually so while strength and flexibility are a factor, i feel anyone generally fit can get a start. The easier routes are almost just going up a ladder type exercises.

I enjoyed the banshees of inisherin - beautiful scenery, touching, funny and dark.

There is so much snow right now, it's beautiful. Things are looking up. Still not drinking, seeing friends and family a lot, my place finally feels like it got to a clean and organized state with only a couple tweaks left. I'm almost done making my yearly recap photo albums for the last 2 years. I've been watching lots of movies, going on art expos and reading books. I feel that i'm in a good place right now.

Ahh - the passport forgetting is a classic! I’m glad everything worked out and you had an enjoyable trip.

Overall a good week! Spent a few days back at home to help feed my little niece at night so my sister could get some sleep. Re-wrote my cv and learning about what it takes to make the career switch, and if it’s something that will actually fit my profile. Went to see an art expo with my ex - building back the friendship slowly. I need to let go of some worries Ive been carrying about his financial situation and stuff, as it’s not really my problem anymore. It’s hard to turn it off sometimes but it’s getting easier. It’s also getting easier to have a positive outlook on what this year will bring. Excited for the upcoming travels, new opportunities and who knows what other surprises. And sober January is still on, I’m proud of myself for not caving! Finally feels like I’ve unstuck mentally a little after all the overwhelming changes in 2022.

Congrats! It ain’t easy but a reset is good :)

Booked my first two flights and paid the deposit on the PADI diving class in Thailand. Arranged for my friend to take over my place - which works out perfect for everyone since I don't need to make the place extra clean like i would for an AirBNB and I can give her tasks like water my plants. She was storing her things in my basement anyway so she won't need to move much. And it leaves my ex access to all his stuff in the basement. It's a triple win!

Having a date is also good pressure to get my affairs in order quicker.

Dry January is going alright. Spent a completely sober weekend and it went well. I'm still depressed with trouble getting outta bed in the morning, but today i actually cleaned, made a soup, settled some trip planning and ate sushi with my best friend for his birthday. A better overall day than I've had in a while.

Thank you, that’s helpful. Indeed, we split soon after the 10 year mark. My friend told me the other day I grieve “like a man” where I went on a yolo denial fun spree the first 3 months and the sadness and loss is catching up now. A frankly sexist assessment by name, but she’s right about what happened. I feel my ex had the opposite process.

Thankfully, I’ve never been a mean or agressive drunk. More a fun and reckless one - which from a sober person looking in is definitely annoying but great with other drinking friends. But my newfound sad drunk energy sucks for everyone so time for a hard reset.

oufff this new year started as a complete mess. got drunk and my memories goes from talking and laughing with my friends to literally sobbing on the bed about my breakup with my ex consoling me. I don't even remember what triggered it. It's been 4 months since our breakup, shit... (how long does it take to move on? it's my first breakup ever so I'm not too sure what to expect)

Then my new friend drove me home and i fell asleep with my lover in my bed. I wake up and she rage quit my place to drive 5h back home, texting me about how i'm selfish and unwelcoming and ungrateful. After I hosted her for 4 days at my place with her dog and invited her along to all my new years plans, including to my parents house. A complete text freakout demanding apologies and shit for vague accusations of hurt feelings. I've known her for less than a year. Fucking flipped a switch so fast i got whiplash. It's a bit annoying, but she lives in another city and I told her it's best we take some distance. No regrets on that front, but it added on to an already rough morning. And then my lover and one of his main poly partner break up a few days later over some insecurities - that he assures me have nothing to do with me but I have some reservations.

So, i've stopped drinking. It's been 5 days now, which is more than I can remember for a loooong time. I'll aim making it to a full week and if that works out i'll do a full month. Will limit my drinking to places with amazing views on my upcoming trip to Asia. Cause I used to really have fun drinking and now I most often than not turn into a crying mess. It's no fun for either me or my friends. I need to recalibrate so it becomes enhancement and not escapism.

My energy levels and mood have been in the dumps too, without routine and structure in the dark winter months. Booked a sober weekend with friends at the cabin cooking games and playing food - hopefully that helps! I just have this itch to be creative and productive and joyful but i can't find my arms. Thank god for my loving and supportive and thoughtful friends and family. It's the best thing I have in my life right now and I won't take it for granted.

Yes, definitely almost all burners or soon to be burners when they inevitably make it out to our regional in the summer. So that might skew my perspective on what poly looks like in the wild. Cause of the smug burner superiority complex about how we do it better than others. Which on many levels I feel like we probably do - and that makes us even more insufferable…

Merry Christmas! It’s lining up to be a new year of many changes and fresh starts! Time to make good healthy choices for the future

Congrats!