Thanks for the recommendation. I will give it a read!

"Essentially who she always felt she could be"

This is 100% what I feel like. As if what I know I can do/be finally fits with reality.

Hey Hubski :)

Ehm... I have ADHD??

Sometime last year, I was reading an article about misdiagnosed ADHD in adults. Going through the list of symptoms, I was kind of shocked that 70% were "definitely" and the rest were somewhere between "sometimes" and "in phases". It made me question the possibility. I was then reminded of how I feel after I take stimulants. Specially on the days after. While many people are just drained, I seem to be quite serene. With a "silent" brain. Anyway. I started to notice more and more, and before I turned it into a self-fulfilling prophecy, I decided to get checked. 6 months and a few doctor visits later, I have my diagnosis.

Since last Friday, I am on medication. 5 mg of Medikinet (Methylphenidate retard), twice a day. The doctor said that I should probably not feel much. But I definitely do. And what I am feeling has gotten me close to tears on multiple occasions the past few days.

I feel it the clearest when I meditate in the morning. I have managed to meditate daily since April last year (missing the occasional weekend or odd day when I overslept). What used to feel like a tropical monsoon of though barrage feels now like rain. I realized that I am living under a constant thin veil of (mainly social) anxiety. Even though it is not completely gone, it is just more tolerable. It's not like a have superpowers or something. I am still doing the same things I do normally, I just don't get completely hijacked by my machine gun like thoughts.

It feels good. With a hint of sadness. Knowing that I have been carrying this my whole life and I could have suffered less.

From your mouth to the gates of heaven. But I doubt it.

It's "too stable" with 4 seats of majority. And people are absolutely sick of voting.

What is happening in Israel is a fucking mess.

I'll give more context if needed later, currently still running around with my family which is visiting from the holy land for Christmas

(Click the translate button)

Reading your comment after the replies to bfx below was an interesting one. It seems to go in-line with what others say about polyamory and also fits what I have seen around me the past few years. Out of curiosity, is it possible that many poly people around you are burners?

Anyway, nothing much of value to say except "Hi, I hope you are well!" And "merry Christmas :D"

Somehow I managed to listen to alot of audio books lately (by alot I mean more than my 1-2 books a year). Here is my ranking:

- What I talk about when I talk about running (turns out murakami is a crazy runner)

- project Hail Mary (the same guy who wrote the Martian)

- gifts , leguin

- voices, leguin

- the Martian

- a deadly education, novik

Actually all of them were nice. If you have sci-fi or fantasy recommendations, send them my way!