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Cumol  ·  link  ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: August 15, 2018

I had to think of Requiem for a Dream and the story of the mother that wants to fit into her dress. She goes to the doctor, he gives her speed (I think?). She realizes that she is more efficient. Cleans the house quicker, does chores etc. and is even enjoying it. All the while she is losing weight! Perfect!

The day comes where she finally fits in her old dress... But she also notices she lost her mind.

My memory is hazy but did she get paranoid/psychotic at some point?

Cumol  ·  link  ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: August 15, 2018

I have a question. Can someone explain this epidemic of adderall/vyvanse (and other amphetamine mixes) etc.?

Since when does everyone and their mother have to take amphetamines to function, study for exams, or do anything... I feel like I am missing the point here. Can someone enlighten me?

A friend, whose father is a neurologist, sends his daughters that are at uni monthly packs of Ritalin so they can finish their degrees.

Another friend on facebook, just yesterday, asks if anyone has some Ritalin left at home, she has an exam she needs to study for and is out of it.

This post on reddit I just read about a guy smart-assing his doctor into giving him the prescription of a dextroamphetamine that he wanted, as a booster, because his 40mg Vyvanse was not enough and only lasted 3 hours after he gained tolerance. He also admits that he barely has any ADD but performs better.

Did we reach a point where we need to be performance machines all the time?

Cumol  ·  link  ·  parent  ·  post: Burning Man 2018: Who's Going?

The Borderland was is usually in Denmark, but it might move to northern Sweden in the future.

Cumol  ·  link  ·  parent  ·  post: Burning Man 2018: Who's Going?

I wish you LOADS of fun! only one burn for me this year, The Borderland, but hopefully 2020 is my year for Burning Man :)

If you happen to meet anyone from MidBurn/Israel, give them a hug from Moad :)

Found out about them through /r/listentothis

And then a band I listened to a while ago that is coming to play in Heidelberg in November. Mashroa Leila is probably the best and most known arabic indie band. They are from Lebanon and have an interesting style. Their singer is publically Gay and writes/sings about it. Here is a Tiny Desk concert by them:

And then there are these guys from Korea... what the.. so catchy

Cumol  ·  link  ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: August 8, 2018

My crazy time continues. Maybe a little less crazy than the whole "I am becoming a father thing".

I have been in therapy for the past 1.5 months and I noticed that it is stopping me from doing my usual "layering-up" after tough times. Usually I try to distract myself with what happened to a point where it does not become relevant. Therapy is keeping me de-layered and feeling naked.

Went to a fun neuroscience conference Mid-July and discussed my data with many people. Got a lot of suggestions and some inspiration from cool speakers like Frans de Waal. The conference was in Berlin so I stayed for another 5 days there to enjoy the city and go dancing with friends.

Re-connected with a friend I "broke up" with last year (because I was madly in love with her and she had a boyfriend and didn't keep her distance...) in Berlin and things worked out fine. Feels better now.

Had one week back in the lab before I traveled north, to Hedeland Denmark where I experience my first The Borderland, the regional burn event of the Scandinavian countries. It was wonderful, sad, hard, exciting, amazing... All the feelings one can have, a burn. It wasn't my first burn, but it was definitely the burn I was most vulnerable at. It felt like I was connecting, emotionally, to many more people than usual. It also had episodes of self-doubt and sadness to it. My flatmate who I schlepped with me enjoyed it very much. Two days after we got back he told me "I miss the burn!". We both had dreams for a week after we came back. For some reason there is much to process after such events.

Just a few days later I traveled to Nancy - France, to meet the girl I met in Israel before the whole pregnancy ordeal. We kept in touch in the past few months and things got more and more intense with time. Now I am basically madly in love and I cannot do anything about it. Throughout out countless Skype convos and phone calls it felt like she feels the same. I was very excited to see her again after these wild months.

As always, things turn out quite different than one expects. We were simply not in sync. While I was in complete affection-mode, she was worried about our possible future together. She feels like she should have children, like, right now. I am in Germany doing my PhD for the next 1-2 years and she is in Israel. Then comes the whole issue with her being jewish and me arab and how our families will deal with that...

What should we do? How do you keep a relationship that is basically based on long-distance for such a long time?

Of course this whole "imbalance" between us was also tough on me. I kept having thoughts of her actually not liking me enough. Her finding out that I am not what she thought I am... Old insecurities that I thought I had conquered and buried 6 meters deep suddenly occupy my mind since I came back from Nancy.

On one hand I am filled with love. On the other I am also afraid of a heartbreak, with old memories bubbling up where I would fall in love, just to find out that I was not loved back. Rinse and repeat. Until it became a habit.

Meanwhile my boss is pushing me to work more. I am finishing my third year. During out last talk I broke and decided to tell him what was going on with me the last few months. He was very accepting and wished I would have told him earlier. I guess I got lucky with this one. Nevertheless, I am still going for 80% workload. Time to get things done.

And in a week, my father is coming for a visit. This time alone... My whole therapy has revolved around our interaction when I was a teenager. I haven't spend time alone with my father since I was 15. I wonder how that will go.

Well.Beep.Boop. Thats where I am. the roller coaster continues.

Cumol  ·  link  ·  parent  ·  post: Ohio Special Election Live Update

thats even worse. Why is that so? Isn’t everyone allowed to vote?

That’s like a 2.5% voter turnout???

For a second I thought the Rote Armee Fraktion (RAF) is still alive and going for some crazy jet action

Cumol  ·  link  ·  parent  ·  post: Ohio Special Election Live Update

Naive question... why are there only 200k voters? The state of Ohio must have multiples of that as people who can vote or am I missing something?

Cumol  ·  link  ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: July 11, 2018

necroptosis and galen

We should plan a meetup!

Apart from that, I am throwing a party on the 17th of November. Theme: "Drag or Leather", let me know if you can come :)

Cumol  ·  link  ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: June 27, 2018

Thank you. I wish you all the good, in that long and strange life... :)

Cumol  ·  link  ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: June 27, 2018

I am doing good. I guess.

Focusing on work. The next few weeks will be action-packed with a conference and burn later this month.

It might sound weird but I am falling in love, really hard. On one side I am feeling guilty that I am not "suffering" and that I am not sad like my ex. But on the other I am happy to have met such a wonderful person.

Sarah decided to cut all communications yesterday, and I can understand her. It makes me sad though...

How are you doing?

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