I posted this early summer a year ago:

This premiered at the Toronto International Film Festival:

I'm not going to see it until it's out on streaming in October.

I spent the last couple days hiking in the Adirondacks. It was my first time back since December 2019. I summited two peaks, Esther Mountain on Monday and Whiteface Mountain on Tuesday. They're both "hike to the top (in snowshoes in winter)" type summits. Both hikes went well. I had some issues with my glasses freezing over on Whiteface, and I probably should have put my goggles on, the goggles I've carried on almost every winter hike but never once used. The wind was really strong up there, and the trail was hard to find amidst the bare rock.

I wish I'd taken some pictures of the building up there. It's only open in the summer, and it was completely caked with snow. They've had high winds and rain and snow. I didn't take any pictures because of the wind and losing visibility.

no quid pro quo

For me the nuance I'd add to this is tradeoffs can be ok, but they're done in the open and generally comparable. Not "if you come to Christmas at my parents I'll let you go out with your friends next weekend" but more "I'm training for a marathon which means I'm doing fewer of the communal tasks so I'm going to make sure to give you time for your hobbies when the race is past."

In my mind it's healthy to give up some things I want to do, but drawing the line at things that are important to me even if they aren't essential. Running a marathon is a want. Running at all is important. Doing some organized races is important. Doing a specific one is not.

But even then if I said I wanted to run a marathon next fall and was asked not to, it should be because of something important to them. Like if the race is a Saturday but her brother is getting married Sunday and she doesn't want me to be useless and exhausted at the wedding? Ok. Doesn't want me to because she wants to hold that weekend in case it's peak leaf color change? Not so good.

12. What does an equal relationship mean to you

I was talking with a friend last week, and what I said to her is "being able to say 'no' means I can trust the 'yes.'"

It's really about anything, as mundane as "can you check on my cats?" So in a relationship, equal means to me being able to trust the response of the other. If they always say yes to appease me, they're putting their happiness on my lap and I bet neither of us will be happy.