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oyster  ·  link  ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: October 18, 2017

I think it starts with individuals though and slowly becomes a more society wide change. Things don't change over night, people devote entire lifetimes to making small changes because it takes a while to really change society.

I mean Australia still hasn't legalized gay marriage. Progress is slow with or without technology. If anything I would say technology, or I guess the access to information it provides helps move things along faster.

oyster  ·  link  ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: October 18, 2017

It's not likely to have an impact on you because you aren't a creepy guy or a woman who has been harassed. I'm not sure if it makes a difference on a bigger scale but I know that it does make a difference to individuals. Sometimes talking about this stuff opens up a conversation off the internet as well. Sometimes being able to share something like that in even the vaguest details is incredibly cathartic especially for women who have struggled to even put words to what happened to them. It's common to jump back and forth between knowing you were assaulted and thinking you're just overreacting because others had it worse. So putting a statement like that out can mean a lot to individual women and it can mean a lot to the woman who resonates with it when the post has some more detail.

oyster  ·  link  ·  parent  ·  post: Balance Schmalance

I think balance is going to look different to everybody, like it just means you're getting the right amount of everything you need to be happy. I talk to people all day at work and I'm generally somebody who needs a good chunk of time away from people. If I don't have a job where I talk to people I'm more likely to seek that out in my personal life. Either way is fine really, as long as it balances out in a way that works for me. In the end it's all about how you feel about the time or energy you dedicate to different things in your life, they might not all demand the same and nobody else can really say what will work for somebody else.

People that can get all the work the government has to outsource when they can't get their shit together for higher pay. At least in Canada, there's just too many departments everything has to go through and it slows things down like mad.

I mean, where is the fun in harassing women who are close to your age ? I'm so stoked to be 30.

Having said that, I can also see how people actually don't know what's going on around them. I don't really know this guy who worked for the company I was working for but I heard the rumour that he assaulted a friend of his. I don't think it went anywhere with charges and it sounded like she just wanted to put it in the past. A few weeks later a friend of a friend asked if I knew this guy and more importantly if I know if he was still around. Turns out that there was another incident and this girl went to him instead of the cops. I think myself, my friend, and this guy are the only ones who know there have been at least 2 woman saying he assaulted them in the a pretty short time period. I don't know either of these woman's names, I am just by some weird coincidence aware of something most people honestly aren't. I'm still not sure what to do about that, I don't know anything else about these people's lives. And that my friends is why so many woman come out with allegations after it's in the news

    the revelations about Mr. Weinstein are a tipping point: “This is the moment we look back on and say, ‘That’s when it all started to change.’” I hope she’s right.

Was she high ? This won't affect anything, the woman who deal with it will lament about the crap they put up with and then will go back to just putting up with the bullshit to keep their jobs. As angry as this stuff can make you you'll still laugh it off when push comes to shove and you are reminded to feel small. Even worse, the men will still not realize they did anything wrong. They think it's just PC bullshit. I know this because of that lovely job interview where the woman told me about how funny the men were, and they just loved to joke around. That it wasn't a PC workplace and I probably shouldn't take the job if I wasn't okay with that. I'm pissed about this shit and I still played it off like it was fine because I needed a job.

The shitty thing is that in order to elevate yourself to a position in life were you are untouchable you've got to deal with this crap first. I can guarantee you every single woman in a position of power has had a point in life were she had to make a choice like I did in that interview or the woman he harassed had when they knew he could fuck up their future. It's a long road of clawing your way through that bullshit if you want to get anywhere.

It's kind of like how pro life people don't generally support things like birth control and sex Ed which common sense tells us should be prolife policies.

They want guns but they don't support the social programs that make the majority of Americans healthier gun owners.

oyster  ·  link  ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: September 27, 2017

Held to the past too aware of the pending, good luck!

    but all I can find that's wrong about it is a grammar or spelling mistake here or there and so that's what I've decided is all that essay is.

Doesn't that sound a tad dismissive ?

oyster  ·  link  ·  parent  ·  post: Is Equality Ruining Your Marriage

    —her first instinct is to provide for that child physically and emotionally.

    A man’s first instinct is to protect and to provide for that child. That’s his unparalleled accomplishment

Anybody else feel like she just repeated herself ? I mean the only difference here really is the woman popped the thing out.

oyster  ·  link  ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: September 27, 2017

Have you tried setting reminders in your phone ? You could name them things like "pubski", "eat", "breathe", or even "pat yourself on the back". You seem like you could maybe use those.

oyster  ·  link  ·  parent  ·  post: Blerg

It is interesting, because you can sit in a room with somebody and know when they aren't being vulnerable or emotionally open to you. A friend of mine was telling me once about a program he was doing for work, it was a few weeks long and he spent it with the same people who were all new to each other. At the start everybody was getting along and he thought it was going really well socially. Then one day he realized that everybody else was really progressing beyond that as in socializing outside of this program while he was just kind of stuck or left behind.

I think a lot of people can relate to that, the feeling like you're on the outside when you suddenly realize that all your coworkers hang out outside of work and you aren't as close with them as you thought you were. Just sitting there and feeling the distance grow. Even with my friend, it had nothing to do with his personality, he got along with everybody there during the day in a natural non-forced way but the connection just wasn't there to push things farther.

I struggle with long term emotional connection as well and I'm realizing lately I'm not going to find some simple quick fixes or checklist of things to do for connecting with people. Our eyes and facial expression give us away, how we carry ourselves, our tone of voice and how it all flows together. We all see a difference when people look at us versus when they look beyond us or beyond whatever it is they are seeing. We can see that in photography and we can also draw it. It's like they may not be telling us what they are thinking or where they are but they are letting us see that they are going to this place. They are comfortable going to this place while we are there and that's vulnerability. I think with writing we can feel the vulnerability because we can feel the flow as we read. If you're having a natural conversation with somebody it will flow well unless they are over analyzing every little thing. I think it's similar for writing.

I don't know though, I'm no authority on the subject, I just watch people eat but it's honestly very interesting. I know how to connect with somebody while I'm serving them. I've got a water colour painting of Lake Louise that somebody gave to me after they finished eating. I was working on a patio literally in front of the lake and she felt bad that she had been short with me when she first arrived so she asked her father who was with her to paint it while they finished up. It's only really meaningful when you know the story though. I think some people can look at art like that without seeing anything deeper and some other people want to know the story.

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