Met galen this weekend! We had a good conversation and good steak.

Finished another draft of my paper over the weekend. I'm responsible for a bunch of work stuff to do before the weekend, but if I don't procrastinate too much I should be fine and head out to my fam for the long Pinkster (Pentecost) weekend.

Here is the view from my friend's house in Cork.

Yeah, the grass needs a trim. But it's a stellar view.

I'm in great spirits, with the sun splitting the stones and getting some time in with one of my favourite people in the world. And, of course, just getting away from home for a few days.

I'm thinking of moving down here.

I'm feeling very relaxed.

Thus, my first game of Diplomacy ends victoriously (I'm Turkey, the yellow one). All it took was a few weeks of treachery and subterfuge...

GG to:

mk, Quatrarius, spencerflem, nowaypablo, zebra2, and wasoxygen. May we fight again soon.

I'm on my way home from my New Mexico hiking trip. I saw some sheep.

For the past month, I've been mostly lurking and it's going to stay this way for at least a few more weeks. At least until graduation. TL;DR: Life is busy.

Good stuff:

I was allowed to take two out of my five exams early, one of which is going to be tomorrow. Assuming no hiccups, I'll get to defend both of my diplomas in the first half of June. Timing is particularly important because I got heads-up from a friend about a job opening at his division of the Central Office of Measurements. They require completed higher education while simultaneously being very amenable to employing people going through grad school, which is great news for me if I'll get the job.

The paper I talked about a few months ago got sent, so now we play the waiting game with editors and peers. The next one is in the process of writing and I'm doing it my own, which is challenging and oddly fun. Anxiety-inducing, but fun nonetheless. It's the one kind of second-guessing myself that I can get behind.

Blood pressure is consistently at the low end of the normal range, which is a significant improvement despite going off one of the medications. It has been three consecutive weeks since I dipped below 90/60. Legs continue to feel slightly stiff for about an hour after waking up and get worse if I stand still for too long, but that's nothing more than an inconvenience. My cardiologist recommended looking into something like tai chi, but I'm reluctant to try it. Both of the places I checked out so far gave me a cult-like vibe; I'm only interested in getting some exercise.

Shitty stuff:

My father came to pay me an unannounced week-long visit and we were sick of each other by day two. Or at least I was. By day four I was doing everything to stay away from the house. He came here only to yell and I don't like loud people. Almost non-stop, day in and day out, listening to his seemingly unending list of grievances and generally being told how everything I do is shit. I can usually pinpoint the exact moment when he stops listening, this time he didn't even start. It didn't take long for me to give up on even attempting to have a discussion. I'm still kinda pissed off and he left over a week ago.

This thing was evolving ever since my parents moved to Germany, but the shit he was saying bordered on a total personality change. Three years ago he was great. Supportive, firm, reasonable and among very few people who seemed to respect me. Now, he's just a douchebag who can only make himself feel better by putting others down. Though, it wouldn't be half as insulting if he wasn't bent on trying to leverage every argument with money. That's a bitch move, even he should know it. On the other hand, at least he hasn't threatened me with throwing me out of the house, so at least it's not the lowest move.

I've made a bunch of good trades for coffee in the last week or so.

I traded two different guys for records. Several interesting albums, some 45's about $100 worth in all.

A lady who works at a weed warehouse traded me 36 high power edibles, a mix of 50/50 and 100% THC. They will last me months as long as the wife doesn't get into them too hard. She is way too generous a trader. She starts insisting to pay about half way into the trade value.

I got an arborist to cut down the base of a tree which I've cut down 90% of but the remaining 10% is too thick for my tiny electric chainsaw.

I love trades.

No update of substance with regard to health. More testing has been scheduled after the treadmill stress test I took showed a drastic decrease in exercise capacity. Essentially as soon as I start moving I become anaerobic because blood isn't getting to all the bits it should. Another neck-needling cardiac procedure sometime soon, inner ear testing to check for/rule out true vertigo, a few other things.

I have a long time friend and mentor who got a heart transplant last year after almost fifty years of living with a condition almost identical to mine. Last week she found out her donors name, Brandy, and some more information about her. She left behind a sister and a teenage daughter, and they have tentatively begun to get to know one another. There is no standard model for contact between a donor family and an organ recipient, everyone seems to do things their own way, for better or worse. My friend is a strong, kind and deeply affectionate person. I hope that Brandy's family will take some comfort in knowing that their mother's, sister's passing accomplished some good, and allowed my friend to continue her work improving cardiac care across the country, across the globe.

Barring some massive development in artificial hearts in the next few years, this is the path I will be on. If you had asked me a year-ish ago if I would accept a donor organ, I would have told you no. I would have told you that there is a high demand for organs, and I have lived my life without much regret. I would have told you that someone younger than me deserved a chance at more years. I would have told you that someone older than me has obligations to dependents, and it would be unfair of me to take a heart when someone's parent might need it. I would have told you lots of things, most of it true-ish. But the real reason I didn't want one is because I truly didn't think that I was worth keeping around.

I have since been convinced otherwise.

He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.

In less dire news, my request to terminate my lease early because of foundation leaks/water damage was approved. We have a cute little house to move into at the end of the month, after it's had it's carpets cleaned, a few other odds and ends. For the first time in three years, I'm going to have a yard, a garden, and nobody smoking cigarettes outside my windows at all hours of the day and night.

Cheers Hubski.

Subheadings

Hubski

It's been great hanging around here the last day or two. Definitely a consequence of having time, not travelling, and spring. By "great," I mean challenging, stretching myself to be responsive, compassionate, and creative.

Changes 1

. . .are afoot. Last night, with some anxiety, I gave my four tenants six-months notice. (My ex let me keep our previous domicile - a big house in another city away from him. (flagamuffin has visited). I moved here when ex told me he "needed space" in 2015. The tenants, four working women, age 24-29, have been okay and the $$ has helped me keep the house going for sure. My grievances are relatively minor -- but it's time to leap into an unknown future.

Changes 2

West coast bf is moving in with me. I will fly out west in August and we will drive across the country together.

Spring

Planted annuals all around the house. Here's Hydrangea, Stump, and Squirrel.

Headed to SF. A bit overwhelmed.

Yanny.

According to a conversation I had this week, I've been kicked out of the nerd/geek clubhouse. Their reasoning? I've only seen one of the Marvel movies (deadpool), not watched any of the new Star Trek movies, Never seen Dr. Who, and in general do not give a shit about pop culture. I've reached the point that I don't know who the actors are. Pop music will grate against my brain when out and about and I have no idea who or what the bands are. I heard a terrible song in a waiting room and it turned out to be one of the #1 hits this year.

Meanwhile I sit in a room with more computing power than all of planet earth in 1968, have four separate VPN tunnels, am running (at current count) nine different OS's on 14 running PCs/Pi's/laptops/servers/routers, have five pairs of binoculars, several telescopes, and a library that would have made a monk in the 1800's rage with envy. I have 20TB of raw astronomy data that I have been working on in my spare time (lol), I'm learning how to study for a test to get certifications, I'm active on several forums where the median education is a Master's degree (and I bring down that average having barely graduated high school), and can rattle off ten year old 4chan nonsense which flies over the head of those in the room. Yet I am not a nerd because I have not seen a movie or two. (How many of these Marvel movies are there now?)

After a good bout of friendly back and forth I realized that the words geek and nerd have been lost to people like me (aka I'm old get off my lawn, whippersnappers). Watching TV does not make you a nerd. Obsessing over a fandom where the entry cost is your cable bill... does that count? Knowing actors and roles and movies, does that now make one a nerd/geek? Hell, is there still a difference? Spouting lines of dialogue from a movie that grossed $1 billion, then calling yourself a geek?

Nerds and geeks were the the rejects and weirdos. The people who found something they loved and went all in, for better or worse. This love of betterment generated skills that (sometimes) lead to employment, or maybe enlightenment? A music nerd was someone that could tell you the influences of a band, provide examples, probably had a record collection that rivaled radio stations. Almost to the point you were afraid to talk to the guy because you knew the 3 hour dissertation on how 1970's California Punk fractured and influenced the people who wound up in Seattle and became Grunge. The guy who could tell you why a big-block Chevy engine was awesome, and go deep into detail, to the point of showing off pictures of his latest engine build. The girl who got into knitting and wants to tell you all about the stitches, where they came from, why different needles work with different threads etc. The gardening nerds excited that winter is over and want you to be happy that the tomatoes and peppers are growing.

Add into the mix that the tech industry pisses me off. I spent time looking at how to get a CDL and become a truck driver today. I sit on my ass all day anyway and there is a shortage, not that I would really do that. I caught myself doing the math on how much I really need to earn to live. I wanted to put something here other than a shaking fists at clouds rant, but lost the thoughts in the middle of two boring chapters on Microsoft Server. I can't tell if I am frustrated that our exclusive club of weirdos and oddballs has been burnt to the ground only for an amusement park to be built in its place, or that I've hit the age where everything new is shit, or even if I've lived inside my own head for so long that I'm angry that I did not see all the changes coming down the pike.

Fuck 'em. I am going to rebuild my home RAID as I am running out of room; the 12TB drives have come way down in price and now the controller cards are reasonable, can operate the big drives and all have build-in Linux functionality. I think this summer I will build a 100TB server to help get my mind back in focus. There are a few newer Linux builds that will do a full redundant file system and if you get the right hardware you can even expand the storage as you need more space. I think I can have the full rig done for $5K or so if the 12TB drives hit $300. I'll wipe the old server, put a decent OS on it get it set up and sell it to recover some of the cost. And I was so unsettled this week that I pulled the trigger on a new astronomy camera, so I get that to play with over the summer as well.

Keep thinking about breaking up with my girlfriend. The hard part of the conversation is that the problem isn't really her, it's that I don't know if I want a serious long term relationship right now. Hard to shake the voice in my head saying leave.

Turned down that company job transfer.

School

Looking to Airbnb my last semester instead of subletting. Taking a martial arts course as a break to keep me in school over the summer while working part time. I get the impression adding another plate to spin would be nice. Give myself another week and we'll see.

Relationships

I've been substituting a lot of time reaching out to others with quailty time with the lady friend. Partly since my go-to's have not been available. Starting to reconnect with them now that they are available. Each I've spoken with have made it sound as though I should be advancing my relationship with her. Not something I haven't thought of. Just not something I've committed to despite getting concrete, positive feedback.

I have discovered an alternate reality, or a future one.

I have spent the last few days documenting it.

I may continue; for how long, I'm not sure. But I haven't drawn a dude with a boombox head yet and I'm pretty sure I finna do that one for sure.

Hubski, I will keep you posted as I report back from this superserious mission. Send me fancy glass chemistry tubes that do extra cool stuff, please. Cathode rays are premium. I must blend in with my environs.

Day 1 of a field trip in the mountains with 30 third graders.

It is a true highlight of my year.

FINALLY got my Charisma up to LVL6 so I could set up trade routes between my settlements. It took a long time because I didn't notice that I could put points into my base stats, and not just toward special skills. Duh.

Upgraded my robot companion, but her friends are a supreme pain in the ass, and just show up randomly over a hill when I am least expecting/prepared for them. And they are frantic, frenetic fighters. No time to think, switch weapons, etc. Just unload with whatever happens to be in my hand and run backwards, looking for cover.

---

The sun is out in Seattle for the first time in 8 months.

We do dreary winter here, but this one was particularly epic. The break is really nice.

Had a picnic in a park.

Life is good.

things are still steadily getting better, slowly

can't imagine how i'd handle it if my life was actually difficult

In the event anyone hasn't seen the post down the page, #scificlub is back at it:

I'm liking the suggestions so far. Right now I'm leaning towards The Red One since it's been suggested previously and meets the ideal criteria.

Edit: on a side note, I need to get glasses for the first time ever. Astigmatism in both eyes.

In line at the grocery. Someone has marshmallows. Mmmm.

graphic design is my passion