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comment by Devac
Devac  ·  779 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: May 16, 2018

For the past month, I've been mostly lurking and it's going to stay this way for at least a few more weeks. At least until graduation. TL;DR: Life is busy.

Good stuff:

I was allowed to take two out of my five exams early, one of which is going to be tomorrow. Assuming no hiccups, I'll get to defend both of my diplomas in the first half of June. Timing is particularly important because I got heads-up from a friend about a job opening at his division of the Central Office of Measurements. They require completed higher education while simultaneously being very amenable to employing people going through grad school, which is great news for me if I'll get the job.

The paper I talked about a few months ago got sent, so now we play the waiting game with editors and peers. The next one is in the process of writing and I'm doing it my own, which is challenging and oddly fun. Anxiety-inducing, but fun nonetheless. It's the one kind of second-guessing myself that I can get behind.

Blood pressure is consistently at the low end of the normal range, which is a significant improvement despite going off one of the medications. It has been three consecutive weeks since I dipped below 90/60. Legs continue to feel slightly stiff for about an hour after waking up and get worse if I stand still for too long, but that's nothing more than an inconvenience. My cardiologist recommended looking into something like tai chi, but I'm reluctant to try it. Both of the places I checked out so far gave me a cult-like vibe; I'm only interested in getting some exercise.

Shitty stuff:

My father came to pay me an unannounced week-long visit and we were sick of each other by day two. Or at least I was. By day four I was doing everything to stay away from the house. He came here only to yell and I don't like loud people. Almost non-stop, day in and day out, listening to his seemingly unending list of grievances and generally being told how everything I do is shit. I can usually pinpoint the exact moment when he stops listening, this time he didn't even start. It didn't take long for me to give up on even attempting to have a discussion. I'm still kinda pissed off and he left over a week ago.

This thing was evolving ever since my parents moved to Germany, but the shit he was saying bordered on a total personality change. Three years ago he was great. Supportive, firm, reasonable and among very few people who seemed to respect me. Now, he's just a douchebag who can only make himself feel better by putting others down. Though, it wouldn't be half as insulting if he wasn't bent on trying to leverage every argument with money. That's a bitch move, even he should know it. On the other hand, at least he hasn't threatened me with throwing me out of the house, so at least it's not the lowest move.

kantos  ·  779 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Best of luck tomorrow and in June! Central Office of Measurements reads like a light at the end of the tunnel arguments around money are pressuring you towards the end.

Sounds as though the past 3 years did a number on him as well.

Devac  ·  778 days ago  ·  link  ·  

It's not even about earning more money, though I won't deny it's a nice perk. I want to be as well-rounded as possible and having an option of earning a theoretical physics degree while working along (mostly) engineers presses all the right buttons in my head.

    Sounds as though the past 3 years did a number on him as well.

It wasn't easy for anyone in the family, but I don't find his way of adjusting to it as appropriate. Switching from a laid-back academic to a raging control freak is hard to swallow. I still hope he'll turn around, just don't expect it to be easy.

kantos  ·  763 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Got so stuck on the first two sentences of the last paragrapgh, forgot to read the whole thing...

That sounds even better if you feel it's what you want im terms of being well rounded. Here's to having hope. 🍺

lil  ·  779 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    but the shit he was saying bordered on a total personality change.
so discouraging when a parent (or anyone) seems to have a personality change. Sad for you.