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_refugee_'s profile

following: 30
followed tags: 28
followed domains: 1
badges given: 88 of 89
hubskier for: 2538 days

if you like paper crafts and punk rock, check out my etsy shop here.

note: I do not actually enjoy punk rock music

recent comments, posts, and shares:
_refugee_  ·  8 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Post-Thanksgiving Writing Prompt

Well, uhm...you know what? Sure, challenge accepted. Meet back here again in about a week. I don't know what I'll come up with and I won't commit to anything more than a 2nd installment, but sure. I want to let it marinate a bit for now.

_refugee_  ·  8 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: He. Tweeted. This...

Eh. It's tacky, for sure.

I'm willing to opine that the main reason this photo(shop) doesn't register much shock or disgust for me, and maybe you, and probably other people to boot, is because it's so completely on par with the rest of Trump's behavior this whole presidency.

If Trump needed to instigate some shock value across the American public he would have to open his mouth and speak, suddenly, full articulate sentences without using any made-up words OR repeating any particular pet phrases three times in a row. Or fully divest himself from all his business interests as of today. Or delete his Twitter account, or something.

I can't help but wonder how differently a tweet like this might be received if it was a female politician posting. I do feel this is tacky and gauche for a president to post, regardless of gender. I suspect there would be more backlash about "appropriateness" and a perceived loss of respect for the politicienne in this hypothetical scenario than there has been for Trump. (I doubt this post has elicited much if any media attention, frankly, as it's just yet another mildly embarrassing Trump tweet, lost among an endless sea.) I wish he'd pop an Ambien and post a full Roseanne one of these days.

How bad would a Trump tweet have to be for his crazy show of a presidency to get cancelled?

Back to the gender thing -- it seems to me that men are able to retain an air of authority and a perception of respect without a shirt on -- no question! A shirtless man is strong and manly. He is an epitome, an ideal. If a woman posted the same it would be an active injury to her perceived credibility and "seriousness" or commitment to her job. It's funny that a topless, nipple-baring picture can somehow lend a male politician a perception of strength and power while, take a lady, slap a sports bra on, post a picture and all of a sudden you'd get people asking "how much self-inflicted damage has she done here?" because god forbid voters know that an actual midriff exists underneath the Calvin Klein skirtsuit or Chanel twinset and compression-top pantyhose -- black -- that keeps us, the public, from confusing a woman with authority in power with, well...just any old weak regular hormonal prone-to-crying-fits woman.

Woo, I really went off track here. Just a load of my ramblin' thoughts, pardon me :)

_refugee_  ·  8 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: The Sunday Paper 2019.11.24: the color of dawn

See everybody? mk embedding tweets does add value!

I appreciate you finding this & sharing. I wouldn't have gone looking for this and it's great that I don't have to click through to Twitter to see the images you've talking about, that they're right here in the Hubski thread to provide immediate context.

_refugee_  ·  8 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: November 27, 2019

I am late to the party. (I don't mind.)

I've run 5x/week every week this month. This statement will become true so long as I get my run in today. I'm holding steady at 21 miles/week right now. I'd like to get it up to 25 in December. I have a 5k (my 2nd race since re-re-re-re-starting running this go around) on Friday. I would like to PR, which would require a sub-29:26 time. I am pretty sure I can manage that. I hit 29:26 on a 5k exactly a week ago today (Why did I sign up for 2 races so close together? It was not driven by sense, I tell you) and in training since then I feel really confident that I can go faster than that this time around.

I'm single again! As it often happens with me, I am glad to be single; I am single because I decided I did not want to be in the relationship any longer. I regained solo dolo status a little over a month ago, so while this is news, it is not fresh.

I enjoyed Thanksgiving with my grandmother, an aunt and uncle, and my parents. My sister went out Thanksgiving Eve and became so successfully hungover that she missed Thanksgiving, which is a definite first for our family. I skipped a Mother's Day in college once, which is my closest personal equivalent.

I have read four books this month and, often when I get home after work, like to refuse to turn the TV on and entertain myself with at least one less screen. I do love the internet and laptop, although I try to spend my time there reading about as many legitimate news articles as I do r/relationships and r/AmITheAsshole shitposts.

I am grateful for you all. I am glad you came by here and said hi. In fact, I'm grateful for Hubski.

Whatever time of day it is where you are, I hope you're having a great one.

- ref

_refugee_  ·  23 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: November 13, 2019

You foreverlabbed it?

_refugee_  ·  27 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Ask Hubski: What Book (or Books) Changed Your Life, and Why?

Y’know, I always really liked Lord of the Rings.

I’m talking about like taught-myself-elvish, the-poem-I-recited-because-of-a-mandatory-English-requirement-in-eighth-grade-was-TheLayOfLethian, my first TWO email addresses were elvish references, my first online internet friend was from Lotr role playing forums, that’s how much I liked LOTR, liked LOTR sorta person.

Everyone here so far as I can see is kind of focusing on books that changed who they were on some fundamentalist, Ayn Rand sort of libertarian level.

Nah I ain’t got that. I haven’t read a book that singlehandedly shaped me politically or changed how I related to my peers. On that note, Holden Caulfield is kind of a piece of shit.

But was I gifted Sméagol/Gollum posters almost every secret Santa we had in high school? And could I write in Dwarven characters if I was pressed?

You bet your god damn ass on both counts I can, and for that, and the Lay of Luthien which I can still at least begin to recite —

the leaves were long, the grass was green

The hemlock umbels tall and fair

And in the glade a light was seen

Tinuviel was dancing there

The light of stars was in her hair

And in her raiment, shimmering...

Aye, yeah, those books changed my life. And my early internet friendships, through LOTR role playing forums, brought me here. I wouldn’t be half so accepting (and loving) of your took-fools if it weren’t for that. Ay, me. Memory lane, and it smells all of Kings-foil.

_refugee_  ·  40 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: What's a good HORROR movie?

I watched Creepshow and Monster Squad quite recently, and I recommend them both.

Creepshow is an excellent homage to horror comics and has a few shudder-worthy, gross-out moments scattered through the anthology (note: they're more gross conceptually than they are gross-bc-of-well-played-out-special-effects; cut some slack, Creepshow came out in '82.

Monster Squad is more of a feel-good tween-ish horror movie; think Lost Boys over Hocus Pocus. Either way, between those two that should give you an accurate flavor for this genuinely-underappreciated '80s masterpiece. Complete with montage sequence and all.

I'll throw one more into the mix; Carnival of Souls. The original, not the remake. Creepy for its time, perhaps the twist might be a little predictable to a modern audience but if realizing the twist to a movie nullifies your ability to enjoy it, then boy you're missing out on all the fun and art of "how it's done." Carnival of Souls is a named influence, and when watched a clear predecessor of, several masters of horror who produced a number of the movies named here, by multiple posters -- George Romero, David Lynch, Wes Craven, etc.

_refugee_  ·  40 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: October 23, 2019

I bought a drawing tablet! Time to enter the future, instead of drawing everything by hand, scanning copies to my computer, and having to burn hours on digital clean up in Clip Studio Art before an image might even be potentially ready to load into the design software I've been using. Let's see how this experiment progresses!

_refugee_  ·  40 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Thoughts on sympathy and empathy  ·  

I agree with the idea that empathy, in any given person, exists as a limited commodity.

I believe that a person is by nature a limited being; there are bounds to all dimensions of experience, feeling, etc. Once a person gets into the appearance of having unlimited any-quality-within-the-self, it seems to me like we are now talking about gods or fictions. Or narcissists, I suppose.

I have read that our daily ability to self-discipline is limited; that it shows a decline in performance over time when taxed. (Yes, I've also read articles that decry those same studies; seems like the jury is out on this topic. However, I've never seen a study demonstrating a human's unlimited quantity of -- well, anything.) I know for a fact that attributes of mine, such as patience or anger, certainly feel and appear limited as I engage in or with them. My general level of intelligence is limited by my brain and genes. My stamina and physical endurance are limited, as I begin to feel exhausted halfway through a 6 mile run. I can't even sleep forever; the body wakes me up when it's hit that particular limit, with no input from me on whether I agree.

I think the thankful antidote or defense to this limited experience and limited mental/brain-i-al resources that all persons experience is the ability to switch off: when I recognize my empathy has reached a limit, I can switch gears from empathizing, perhaps, to trying my best to listen, or learn. When I am out of patience, I can divert my attention to something less trying. When I am out of reason because, perhaps, my emotions are too high -- I can realize this, consciously decide to stop engaging analytically (or to stop allowing myself to turn to 'logic' or overthinking) and practice letting go, or accepting that not everything can be proven, defined, known -- can be mathematic in nature, I'd like to say.

There are limits to empathy, just like any other human trait or ability; knowing what our personal limits are allows us to recognize when we have reached them and to stop trying to wring a dry sponge, or get the car going by flooding the engine. It is useful to know when a given approach may no longer be viable due to resource constraints so that then, we can either admit this limit and step away from the task, or we can admit the limit and begin to try other, potentially also-valuable approaches.