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kleinbl00's profile

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kleinbl00  ·  1 hour ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: What's a good HORROR movie?

I've gotten into some pretty deep, pretty intellectual discussions about zombie movies. As a screenwriter, there's a point where you feel like shitting out a zombie movie. Probably because zombies are so fun - they play right into our anxiety in crowds, our road rage while commuting, and our general displeasure with "humanity" as a gestalt, regardless of how we feel about humans.

The thing is? "zombies" are basically Alzheimer's patients. They're slow, they're shambling, and they pose a physical threat only if there are a lot of them. So all of a sudden we have "running" zombies at which point it's basically just "fear of crowds". except they always have to be idiots, too. You can't write a zombie anything without it turning into "the zombies are handled, what shall we fight about for the other 2/3rds of the movie" because as movie antagonists go the only adversary worse than zombies is trees (lookin' at you, M Night).

Best zombie movie ever made is Aliens. Because the zombies are an actual threat. George Romero (who wrote "ghouls", not zombies) had ghouls as stand-ins for our hatred of humanity and our tendency to fuck each other over from the get-go. Since not enough people got it the first time, he set Dayn of the Dead in a goddamn mall. That dead horse was beaten in '78. Even that is a bad reading of a 1954 Matheson novel.

If I had any input I would put Orfanato at the top of your list, followed by The Devil's Backbone. The stuff I worked on is terrible in every possible sense and you will grow stupider by watcing it. And I say that as the only person paid to work on Birdemic 2 (who was also smart enough to leave his name off it).

kleinbl00  ·  8 hours ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: What's a good HORROR movie?

The horror gold standard is The Exorcist. Noting has come close before or since.

One must see Night of the Living Dead in order to appreciate how far and how stupid we've come in zombie culture; NOTLD is very much a social satire about how we have met the enemy and he is us and everything since is a masturbatory exercise of Elevator Effect backlash.

Hellraiser is gothic in ways few movies have been. It's also out there, weird, and horrific in a way that a Clive Barker version of Nightmare on Elm Street would be.

The Thing (the original) is pretty much what a decent zombie movie should be. All others pale in comparison. Aliens is pretty much what a decent zombie movie would be if the protagonists were heavily-armed soldiers.

The Thing From Another World is much closer to John W. Campbell's version of Who Goes There and is very much an early '50s horror. You won't understand it as a conventional horror but it gets the point across.

Tetsuo The Iron Man is probably the ultimate body horror film.

If you haven't seen Blair Witch Project you should. It's influential. It loses something when you don't see it in theaters. It's still gimmicky. Compare and contrast with Paranormal Activity which is basically BWP without having to go into the woods.

Screamers is a surprisingly good "we're all alone out here" sci fi film. It owes a lot to The Thing except the bad guy is robots.

You should probably check out The Black Hole not so much because it's a horror film but because it definitely wasn't billed as a horror film. Don't look anything up, just find it, turn it on, and recognize this is the direction Disney was going before Eisner took over.

Orfanato and The Devil's Backbone are creepy in ways few movies are. I don't know that they're technically horror movies, but they strike a lot more horror notes than most schlock horror. Most schlock horror is bad special effects. Speaking of, if you'd like to go over the ouvre of the Not a Hypothetical films, PM me. They're terrible.

EDIT - I missed your Texas Chainsaw Massacre callout. You should probably watch Poltergeist because it's Spielberg doing Tobe Hooper when Tobe Hooper was too slow and ponderous to make Spielberg adhere to their "codirection" agreement.

kleinbl00  ·  2 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: As Inquiry Widens, McConnell Is Said to See Impeachment Trial as Inevitable

McConnell knows a sucker's play when he sees one. The Democrats can investigate and subpoena and call witnesses and gather evidence and keep this in the media, on their terms, until November. They can dominate the news cycle with this thing from now until the end of time because the Trump administration is too stupid to not rise to the bait. The House is now calling the shots and can make this the one and only litmus test: do you stand with the corrupt president?

Didja see that bit where he threw Obama under the bus before he had fuckall to say about Trump? And then went back to the Clinton Greatest Hits to imply that Afghanistan has always been the Democrats' fault? He'd love to capture any part of the base that isn't shit-house-rat crazy. Schiff and Pelosi are making a play where Moscow Mitch's winning play is to call for impeachment sooner rather than later so it's out of the way of the elections. The play is to argue that McConnell is attempting to suppress the will of the American people at the expense of the great state of Kentucky and hoist him on his own petard.

kleinbl00  ·  2 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Harrowing Eyewitness Account of Xinjiang "Reeducation" Camp [NSFL]

...the article posted now is about Ernest Roehm and homosexuality in the third reich?

When you grow up in the Southwest, and you visit any sort of Anasazi cultural site, you are told that arrowheads are these amazing things that demonstrate the unparalleled skill of ancient artisans. And then you're handed this misshapen, asymmetric, uneven, un-sharp thing made out of obsidian that you couldn't get on an shaft with a roll of duct tape and a tube of JB Weld and then they say "this was found right here!"

Should you find yourself in a corner of the country where there hasn't really been foot traffic since the 1400s you will find the ground littered with semi-formed obsidian arrowheads and the flakes of their creation. None of them are any good. And if you are lucky enough to find someone knowledgeable, they will say

"Of course they aren't. Those are the ones that went wrong during manufacture so they left them on the ground. Where you're standing is probably where some ten-year-old kid stood while he watched and waited for the elk to show up. Any good spearpoints that were halfway decent went back to the village with him to get critiqued and finished up or rejected. You're standing on top of an ancient whittle pile except they used volcanic glass instead of willow switches."

It is a testament to the failure of the education system that not a single one of those rangers, in all my years of being dragged from Anasazi site to Anasazi site, said "that arrowhead was probably made by a kid your age... 600 years ago. How cool is that?"

kleinbl00  ·  3 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Trump to hold G7 summit at his struggling Miami resort

Dude it legit sounds like something Bob Gale left out of Back to the Future Part II as "too implausible".

And Biff Tannen was modeled on Trump.

kleinbl00  ·  4 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Trump to hold G7 summit at his struggling Miami resort

    Given the potential consequences the president is facing for abusing the presidency for his own gain, we would have thought he would steer clear of blatant corruption at least temporarily;

Three years ago that's a quote from an Onion article.

kleinbl00  ·  4 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Dyson cancels electric car project

kleinbl00  ·  5 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: October 16, 2019

My wife got a camera ticket back in May. In Washington, photographic evidence cannot be the sole source of incriminating evidence in any civil action so if you testify under penalty of perjury that the photo isn't you, the ticket is invalid.

My wife and I have largely solved this problem by having our cars registered to both of us. Got a ticket? Your spouse testifies that they aren't in the photo. This works with some municipalities. Others will send back the ticket saying "hokay but what about your spouse." Others will say "you have to make that testimony in our courtroom." So after a continuance I had to drive 30 miles to make so I could appear in their bloody courtroom while not in LA, yesterday was court day.

I had been under the assumption that, like most sensible places, photo tickets were an annoying part of their day that had been foisted upon them by an unthinking, idiotic city council attempting to protect their sweet, sweet ticket revenue. Reader, I was wrong. Never wrestle a pig; you get covered in mud and the pig likes it.

As it turns out, the municipal court of Kent is all about scolding people and breaking the law.

"Mr. Bl00?"

"Here, your honor."

"Do you testify that you were not driving the vehicle on the date of blahblah?"

"I do, your honor."

"Do you know who was driving?"

"I do, your honor."

"Would you tell the court who that was?"

"I am under no obligation to disclose that information, your honor."

Whole room got quiet.

"Actually, the statute is written so that it is up to the court - "

"It is not, your honor."

"Don't interrupt me! Do you have evidence to prove you were somewhere else - "

"I brought no evidence as the sole purpose of this hearing is my sworn testimony that I was not driving."

"The court can demand evidence as to who was driving the car. Do you have any such evidence?"

"I can certainly provide some. Does the court have the ticket in question?"

"Mr. Bl00, I'm going to dismiss this ticket but I want to caution you that not all judges are as lenient as me so in the future keep better control over your vehicles while traveling in the city of Kent."

"Rest assured, your honor, that I will never travel the city of Kent ever again."

And the room laughed and the judge looked chagrined but I sat through an hour and a half of a guy whose major beef was a cop who told him "shut the fuck up or I'll give you a ticket" but didn't understand the whole "I want to make sure that the defendant is informed of the existence of bodycam footage" because he was Kurdish. Or the latino immigrant who got a ticket for crossing the street and getting hit by a Lyft because the judge basically said "despite the fact that counsel has demonstrated that an intersection is a crosswalk under state law the ticket stands because there's no better law to cite him under." Or the endless sea of minorities and white trash for whom it is cheaper to sit there for three hours than pay $70 because the calculus on that one is it pays better than working.

Every other time I've been involved with this bullshit it's been a courtroom of white people who know how the system works. This time? It was a bunch of white scolds who were basically there to stick it to minorities.

And all I could do was walk in in my Brooks Brothers suit, tell the judge to eat shit and remind every person of color in that room where the power lies.

Guy before me went as far as asserting he owned six cars and two motorcycles and has eight people who live with him, none of which would cop to the ticket. Dude looked like he was about to be whipped. Me? "Fuck you, Judge, you're not allowed to ask."

The white kid speeding through a residential neighborhood with tinted taillights who had to swerve around a bunch of kids to keep from killing them? Yeah he got a mitigated fine for the taillights and everything else dropped.

It's rare that you get such a crystal-clear glimpse of the audience of your own privilege.

kleinbl00  ·  5 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: A series of mysterious bleeps and bloops defined the early days of the internet

    Denizens of the early internet learned how to read those sounds; like old farmers, they could use their senses to figure out if their data harvest would be fast or slow. After all, while a great technical achievement, those strange-sounding noises were the sound of something essentially simple: your desktop computer almost literally talking to a remote computer across a phone line.

That said, you may have found my new ringtone.

kleinbl00  ·  5 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: The wonderful, weird world of wizard rock

This deserves a longer response than I can give it because I had to stand up to a judge today and then do construction for five hours and I'm tired.

I'll say this: "cognitive dissonance" didn't used to mean "being stupid." It used to mean "the mental discomfort and physical pain of holding two competing ideas at once." Clinically speaking, it's something we all try to avoid. We will believe a falsehood over a truth if that falsehood prevents cognitive dissonance. SO: global warming is a lie because it's been a lie all these years and all the data we see is just more noise that will eventually get disproven. The alternative is me and everyone I know are contributing to the destruction of the planet and there's no way out unless we align with all those people who have been calling us monsters lo these many years.

Ever met an ex-mormon? They go through this phase where they're dead inside. Mormonism is keenly inclusive and insular; this makes it easy to align with others who believe as you do and difficult to develop a large group of friends outside your religion. It also means that when you've had enough and can no longer swallow the party line, you are lost. Your whole world is has been lost. You've been cast out. And everyone who aligns with a political movement risks this whenever their core beliefs are challenged.

And we're all guilty. We're here arguing about objective truths and you can assert that criticism for not using the word "cisgender" is ridiculous but I mean, that's my reality. My wife got my daughter a doll when she was a baby. Same hair color, same eye color. My daughter outgrew it. So my wife brought it to the birth center (which she owns). And told this story about how she wanted her daughter to relate to this doll so she got her with the same hair color, same eye color.

And still got an eyeroll. Because my daughter has blonde hair and blue eyes. So this doll? It's fuckin' evil.

What's happening is the people who think my daughter shouldn't play with blue-eyed dolls are in a pissing match with the people who think that "boy" means "male" because the future has yet to be decided. I just wish we could do it without ripping each other to shreds.

Except Ben Shapiro. I'd totally rip that fucker to shreds.

I don't think the lying is increasing under genZ. It was surprising to me, however, to see the rhetorical instrument "it's not a lie if truth is subjective" employed.


And over.

kleinbl00  ·  5 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: The NBA, Chinese Repression, Hong Kong Protests and Lessons in American Liberty

I have long pointed out that China is a command economy pretending to be capitalist. Watching the concerted outrage in response to a tweet highlights what a farce it all is.

kleinbl00  ·  5 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Cargo ship owned by JPMorgan Chase seized by US with 20 tons of cocaine

It's been four months and fuckall has happened. Expect JP Morgan to continue running drugs.

kleinbl00  ·  5 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Cargo ship owned by JPMorgan Chase seized by US with 20 tons of cocaine

Coulda sworn I linked that when it happened but maybe I just texted mk, added a "LOL" and moved on. Regardless, I agree - it sort of is and it sort of isn't.

steve asserts that the headline is "blatant sensationalism." However, that's because the laundering has worked: I'll presume that from Steve's point of view, it's unfair to say that JP Morgan Chase are out running drugs. I will also presume that were Steve to run a shipping company, he would not knowingly take 20 tons of cocaine aboard. More than that, I suspect Steve would exert appropriate due diligence to ensure that his cargoes violated no maritime law. This a conventional choice, and a morally upstanding one.

The issue here is that the captain of the vessel is not the owner. The captain's boss is not the owner. Frankly, JP Morgan is not the owner, either - they neither manage MSC nor have anything to do with cargo. All they do is supervise the JP Morgan Alternative Infrastruture & Transport Fund, a product available primarily to endowments and pension funds. In other words, the likely owner of the vessel is us.

All the way along the line the ownership chain has been designed to wash away authority and concentrate profits. The people signing on to the fund care about two things: risk and yield. Yield has been low so these asset managers have been piling into risk because it's the only way to get the yields they owe.

So pension funds are now in the cocaine business. And it's absolutely nobody's fault, and nobody is to blame, and nobody has to feel bad about it. Right?

kleinbl00  ·  6 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Halloween costumes by the neural net GPT-2

Nine of the eleven posts on Hubski are from me; obviously I agree.

kleinbl00  ·  7 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: The wonderful, weird world of wizard rock

It's interesting: from your perspective, the concern is people clinging to the phrase "objective truth" to mean "tradition" and that anything that threatens tradition is a fundamental threat to reality. From my perspective, the concern is people rejecting the existence of an "objective truth" as something that oppresses their wants and needs.

I'll bet your father believes in the greenhouse effect. He probably even believes in greenhouse gasses. Show him a picture of Antarctica with a pink blob over it and he'll know immediately he's looking at a hole in the ozone layer. The pieces are there, it's the ideology that ties it all together that he rejects. It's hard. My earliest memories of educational television include Mr. Wizard warning us of the impending new ice age. Weekly Reader was all about how acid rain was going to destroy all structures by 1990 and we'd all need to wear SPF1000 sunscreen outside of our silvered biodomes because gamma rays would have sunburned all living matter to death but it would only matter a little because by the year 2100 Venus would be a more hospitable climate than Van Nuys. The population explosion would lead to widespread famine by the early '90s and there would be no petroleum available by the year 2000 because we would hit peak oil by 1978. This, of course, is assuming that we wouldn't die in a nuclear holocaust brought on by the Contras.

So I can see how someone could retreat into a belief that climate change is fake. This is probably the reason so many discussions of climate change have been so pedantic for so long: any consumer of media has seen so many nightmare scenarios that they don't bother sleeping anymore. And when we discuss "climate change" we're talking about a constellation of observations that lead to a damning conclusion. If you accept that damning conclusion the constellation makes sense. If you don't they're isolated incidents that you explain away as irrelevant.

"Sex" and "gender", on the other hand, have not been widely acknowledged as individual concepts for long at all, at least not in the mainstream. Not only that, straight white males are invariably wrong in these discussions and generally subjected to ridicule. Someone expressing an "objective truth" about cisgender women is someone refusing to use the word "cisgender" because they've never had to before and no one has ever made them feel bad about it.

In both cases, the party in question is saying "I'm not going to argue about this" (because it hurts my head). They're asserting that the argument is invalid because the subject is beyond argumentation. The problem is it's being conflated from the philosophical (what is girl if not female) to the practical (I paid you back the $20 I borrowed because I feel like I don't owe it to you anymore).