Mom had her surgery. It went well. She was in the ICU for a week, then in the recovery rooms, and went home the other day. Getting more info from her is like pulling teeth, but she sounds like she's in great shape. She would be better, but apparently on one of her last days, her mother called and wasn't making any sense. A check later and they determined she had a stroke. Major surgery that gets rid of cancer, and then her mother's in the hospital. This poor woman can't catch a break. But all in all, good news for her future it seems. In other news, we survived the storm in DC this weekend. arguewithatree and I went walking in the blizzard on Saturday for fun. My beard got... a bit frozen. Today was the first day back at work too. We had every day from Friday until Tuesday with the entire city shut the fuck down because they, even with nearly two weeks' warning, couldn't properly coordinate clearing the roads. They're still a mess in most places. I'll also be back around these parts. I took a break from pretty much everything for a while because I'd been working an obscene amount between my job and bartending and stress was just weighing me down hard. Additionally, is anyone here familiar with Maine? Chelsea and I are tentatively planning on driving up for her second Spring Break (She calls in Jesusween because they have spring break and Easter break, because Jesuits are serious about this shit) and wanted to see if anyone had suggestions. We were thinking of going to Portland, because if we're up there we absolutely have to, and maybe do some nature trips, but I don't know enough to know where exactly.
Ever had a hand drill forced through your hip whilst your friends stare at your bare ass, video cameras in hand? No? That's weird. Happened to me just the other day. On the plus side, not too much pain was involved. Next day I was back at the hockey arena skating. My lower back is a bit stiff, but I've had worse just from sleeping wrong. All in all a successful Monday to start the week.
They're doing another Hubski promotional video. They got a reanimated Peter Christopherson to direct this one.
Wanna watch a man get a hand drill forced through his hip while his friends stare at his bare ass?? JOIN HUBSKI - THE THOUGHTFUL WEB
No side effects. I can still feel a slight bruise if there's any pressure applied to the area. Didn't miss any work. Didn't take any pain medication after the day of the procedure, and I played hockey the following two nights. It was a modest procedure at best. All that said, I still don't know the result, and won't for a couple weeks. Light pain is temporal and almost already forgotten. Hope is the greatest painkiller known to man.
I had a cat houseguest during the blizzard. He came and watched me when I was out for a smoke, then followed me inside like he just knew I wouldn't leave a cat out in the cold. He got along with my cat just fine, liked to look out the window and perch on my shoulder while I read like he was trying to follow along. When the snow melted he followed me outside, headbutted my leg, and left. I suspect there is a kitty hobo sign somewhere on my house that says something like "pushover."
I dismissed all my notifications for the first time ever today, and it feels real weird seeing my hubwheel at grey. I am going to do a follow up #grubski today on that soup I mentioned, zuppa toscana, because it looks delicious and I've wanted to make it for a while. That being said, the recipe calls for kale, and my Acme hasn't gotten any produce delivered in like, two weeks I think. I bought green lettuce last night in a last-ditch attempt to get something "green and leafy" but I'm not sure how it's gonna turn out. Do you think Target would have kale? Do you think it would not be ridiculously, ridiculously overpriced? I could try the co-op after work, I guess. Thots, hubski, anybody got some thots?
What Targets carry depends on where you are (for produce at least), but I'd bet they'd have it. I've been never noticed it being too expensive, but if you're stuck in the winter hell-scape it could be getting there. I'm with Cedar that spinach would be another option. Lettuce tends to fall apart when you cook it; generally darker colored greens will stand up better. Chard or beet greens could work too if you can find those for cheap.
I didn't check Target; OftenBen was kind enough to point out I might be able to find frozen kale in the frozen vegetables section, which just hadn't occurred to me at all! However I really appreciate your insight about the lettuce and also subbing spinach. You too, Cedar. My post is up if you guys haven't had a chance to see it yet.
Saw it, but didn't think to check for the kale. The frozen stuff was a good call. I haven't been grocery shopping in ages, so I'd never have thought to look there. You're making some pretty good looking meals, reminds me I should cook more. Edit: oh, I also remembered there are ways to cook with lettuce in pasta. I forget the name of the dish, but the lettuce is added very last, and is basically just heated some by being mixed into the pasta, so it's never really cooked.
Thanks for the compliments. Basically, I am pretty poor and can't go out all the time, and living alone, so spending a lot of time in the apartment by myself. As a result I am in need of things to do to keep me entertained (TV and Netflix only keep me for so long, in all honesty, and same with the internet). So I have started cooking as a way to use time and entertain myself, not to mention save money. (I am also reading more, and bought another paint-by-numbers kit, so in a Pubski or two you will see my latest painting.) I may also take up knitting again. And I have a veritable pile of wine corks which I want to repurpose into household things, but I'm being held up by a lack of x-acto knife and hot glue gun. All in good time. When February starts I'll pick up running again which will help burn more time too. I find that while I enjoy many pastimes, I don't enjoy plunking 5 or 6 hours into a single hobby every day, so I need a few to keep me going. Since you are enjoying my food posts, here is a bonus. I decided the soup needed rolls to go with it. Both sets of rolls are made following the same recipe. However, the yeast from the upper set did not proof properly, and boy, what a difference did it make: Although I have not done much recipe-based cooking in my time (I have a few standards I repeat and vary over and over again, but otherwise have just thrown things together and made edible things) I used to be quite the baker. One thing I was looking forward to when moving to this apartment was being able to bake again (I generally avoid cooking or making more complex or 'nice' foodgoods if I am living somewhere where I find the kitchen not up to standard).
What an interesting last couple of weeks it has been. First time posting also after much lurking! (yay) After been in sort of a depression I finally decided to try to slowly get out of it. I will try not to let the cluster fuck of seriously awful things happening last November-December effect me too much. Who knew that relationships and friendships are not always as it seems. School work has been improving this month (so I feel) and I decided to start up swimming last week! Man does that feel good. I've got a lot to learn still but this week it has been going great. Its going be tough but im up for the challenge. A lot has happened last week, improving school work, starting up swimming and even starting to improve the relationship with the girl im into. And busy getting out of depression. A state I never want to go back in, scary stuff.
I have been at my job for five months and I just completed my fourth interview for a promotion. I got it! Pretty cool. I'm now part of "an elite salesforce of five people " throughout the US selling to our largest hold-outs. I received a large pay increase too, which is nice.
Yeah, better quality of life, more income and I'm held in higher regard. I feel fortunate. Thank you for your help along the way!
More of the Hannibal at this point in my career. Also, thanks.
there goes tng again with his army of war elephants :/
Sorry all for missing pub night. I have to apologize to the hubcommuniski. I've been totally out of synch here in the Pacific Time Zone, and, oh I might be in love. Damn. And I live three time zones away and have a divorce to get through. Bottom Line: It's been fabulous but totally and increasingly weird - especially for me. And this has nothing at all to do with me bailing out on the Seattle meet-up. Anyway, I'm sitting in a Starbuck's in Bellingham. I've completed 4 out of 5 workshops and might have to totally change my life. At least I'll always have hubski. steve thenewgreen _refugee_ insomniasexx -- there's no reason for shoutouts, I imagine you'll all see this anyway, sp00ns, flaggy, galen, pabs and everyone else who has been kind and amazing. Thanks for being real people in the surreal world of disembodied friendship. btw, I have a new appreciation for embodied friendship (or as I call it, full-contact conversation).
Embodied friendship is really nice. Ironic that you'd say that after missing Seattle meet-up... Oh, it's not even my place to rag. Fall in love, lil. Tell me about it, even. I agree - you're sitting in a Starbucks! There is a clear problem here. (Oh, no, just ragging again.)might have to totally change my life.
I agree with you about sitting in a Starbucks. It's not something I normally do. Let's just say, I'm here because: navigation. The Starbucks is easily findable in a plaza near the highway exit. And since someone was crossing a border to find me, I want to be findable. Also to Starbuck's credit, the wait staff have all been genuine, human, warm, and adorable young people and, although I haven't used it, this Starbucks has a drive-through. There is something very Canadian about a drive-through. I almost feel at home. More on crazy love in due course, or sooner.
I am now in therapy for my broken wrist. The uninjured hand has a grip strength on the machine of 154. The highest they have measured is in the 170's and I am in the 95th percentile for grip strength! Yay me. The injured hand, however, is sitting in the low 20's. Ergo therapy. Looks like no surgery so hopefully this adventure is coming to an end. I gained over 30 pounds since the accident, almost all of that is water weight gain from the anti-inflammatory pills (I always gain weight on those damn things.) I hope to restart a hard core Keto induction once I get the OK from the doc and start going to the gym again "soon." In other news, I got to drive the car in the snow, and yea, I get why so many people in Wisconsin and Michigan drive Subarus. As I get stronger again, I plan on taking the new car, assuming we get more snow this winter, and putting it through its paces as far as how it handles in poor road conditions. Finally, I have not been able to pull out the gear and do any astronomy stuff in three months. There are a few neat things coming up, our outreach plans are set to begin in the middle of February and the city is interested in helping us do our outreach stuff, but they have no clue how to 'help' us yet. So that will be neat.
wow... the pub is open E A R L Y this morning. Bartender... a round for everyone! I had the worst migraine I've had in years yesterday - and I finally came out of it around 10pm. There is no feeling in the world quite like the moment when you no longer feel sick. It's that liberating day-after-the-flu feeling. That "I no longer want to simultaneously vomit, have diarrhea, and gouge my eyeballs out with a spoon" feeling. It's going to be a beautiful day.
Yes! I sometimes get migraines and after a day or more of being in constant pain, the moment you are no longer in pain just feel wonderful. I cannot imagine what it would be like to have more chronic/on-going pain - the worst migraines I have had were only 2 or 3 days at max. Imagine a week! Ugh. It is no wonder to me that people in constant pain have a difficult time being anything besides miserable.
I just moved my first batch of beer to the secondary fermentation. I was a bit worried as I didn't see any bubbles in the airlock all week. There must be a leak in the lid of the primary bucket. It's an IPA and was at 5.8% today. I don't know how much that will change in the next two weeks. It smells delicious.
Didn't get the job I was really hoping for. Apparently I was neck-in-neck with another candidate. They loved both of us. And basically flipped a coin. But they assured me they are growing, and I am the first person to call on their list. I pulled the motorcycle out of storage on the utterly lovely Sunday we had here in Seattle, and after getting home I set a fire in the burn barrel in the back yard, sat down and broke the wax on the cap of a bottle of Makers 46, and thought about how good life is, as the fire burned, the sun went down, my buzz came on, and my dog snored next to me. I'm pretty fucking enchanted with my life this week, Pubski.
Haven't smoked a cigarette in 3 weeks, though the spliff reigns supreme every now and then, thanks to an awesome $50 e-cig called the Juul. The team who made the Juul are the same guys behind the Pax and Pax2, and it's an awesome little piece of engineering. The problem is that my nicotine intake probably increased since I would only smoke 3-4 cigs a day tops if I was out with friends or something. Though I could do without nicotine regardless, it's quite tempting and, in a dangerous way, comforting to know that I can catch a buzz whenever I want in this insanely stressful time in my life. I haven't even smoked weed in a week and I've felt little to no craving to do so. In other news, I'm packing up the records I found and sending them back to their owner. I'd rather not risk the bad juju of stolen vinyl, not even for Marvin Gaye. And in other other news, my conscience lingers on the sense of responsibility I'd feel in active duty service, when every time I look in the news I see another example of our proud Armed Forces being exploited in pointless squabbles, for the personal, political, and financial gain of an influential institution or industry. I don't feel very comfortable contributing to the death of civilians in some ridiculous, humiliating war to fill some wretched oligarch's pockets. Thoughts?
Armed Forces being exploited in pointless squabbles, for the personal, political, and financial gain of an influential institution or industry. I don't feel very comfortable contributing to the death of civilians in some ridiculous, humiliating war to fill some wretched oligarch's pockets. Thoughts?
You don't need our thoughts on this. You are asking important questions. What is good work and what is a "ridiculous humiliating war to fill some oligarch's pockets"? Can you be at West Point and do peace work?
FEMA hires a lot of military people. Not peace work, but good work, and from the outside it doesn't look like a bad place to work. I've done a few projects for them, and in spite of every one of them being along the lines of "so this disaster just happened, and we really need you to make this thing to help us deal with it, like, yesterday" they're some of my favorite users. Only organization that large I've ever worked with that never throws bullshit at you. They have better things to do.
So after 4 years at WP, and 5 years of active duty service, I'm genuinely free to go as I please (considering the 2 years of reserve duty after the 5 doesn't go into effect). At that time, I'm a civilian like any other and I look forward to grad school and a proper career. Eventually, I want to use my success to give back to a few different communities that really helped me get where I am. My issue is focused on the active duty itself, although I will most likely not be doing any "damage" if you will by my own hand, but I'll still be very much part of the machine that enables it :/
As part of the machine, you can also do your part to steer it, however slightly, to the side of doing good. Your absence in the military is unlikely to make American military action better, but your presence can. Are you familiar with James Blunt's military service?I'll still be very much part of the machine
You're right. This is really cool, thanks for the link. Most of the time, refusing to comply is a stupid move; I hope I develop the same resolve and insight to know when it is time to do so if the need arises. For some reason, this eased my mind a lot!
To me, refusing to comply with a stupid order is a stupid move. Refusing to comply with an illegal order is a brave and honorable one.
One of the huge benefits of West Point is a completely free tuition, with stipend, and a scholarship for grad school. Absolutely awesome deal.
The more honorable and ethical people we put in uniforms the better off the nation will be. You might find yourself in a position where you are ashamed of and hate the things you are asked to do someday but if a person who didn't feel that way was given the same assignment he would do less to mitigate the harm which his necessary actions cause. So many of the people I've known who were going to join or were in the military were boneheads who lived an unexamined life. It distresses me to think of the things they might do. I've known a few people who were going to join the military that I felt confident would be a force for good in an organization that by it's nature and function is a so often a force of exploitation, suffering and destruction. I predict that if you join the military you will put positive pressure on a system in which rides a very fine line between good and evil but it might not be good for you.
Thanks for this perspective. In the last week or so I've been expressing these concerns to everyone, and this is the most helpful insight I've come across. I wrote a lengthy response just now but removed it, since you basically read my mind anyway. I hope I can be a positive pressure on whats happening around me, without compromising my performance and becoming the sort of cynic that held me back in high school. That'll be the biggest challenge out of all of them at WP :P
I was very proud to buy Afghani black hash by the pound during the Soviet Occupation. It had a gold leaf seal on it with a circular impression kinda like this with a picture of a mujahideen with bullet belts across his chest and an AK in his hands. Around the outside it had words something like "Freedom for Afghanistan." I used to say "Smoke a doobie. Kill a Commie." So yeah, I helped fund the Taliban. Well maybe the Northern Alliance but who knows.
Do you like the Juul? I nearly bought it but decided to go with a more conventional (if you can call it that) setup. It looked beautiful and I loved my Pax, but I was worried about having to buy their pods instead of getting liquid from a variety of vendors.
The Juul is perfect as far as I'm concerned. A pod is a pack's worth of nicotine, the battery lasts one full day and charges within an hour. 4 great flavors, including a tobacco flavor, though "bruul" is the best. You can also very easily fill an empty pod with any e-juice and nicotine level of your choice, though I just stick with miint and bruule cause i dont want to go broke on this thing:P It's not for cloud-chasers, simulates a cigarette feel very well and you're not going to get huge clouds like you would on a mod for tricks and shit. There are no buttons, just pull. This helps mitigate the douchebag factor. Only downside is that a full pod might leak a bit if you drag too hard, and itll leave a weird taste. Also, a pack of 4 pods is around $15 online, though a mere $50 unit and the current cost of a pack of cigarettes today makes it worth it if you're already a frequent smoker. Try it out!
I'm starting to fantasize about spring. Greenery, and open water mostly, I'm anxious to get kayaking again. I have been getting a lot of use out of my stationary bike, did 8 miles last night in a little over 30 minutes, but it's definitely not as satisfying of a workout as kayaking. There's something viscerally pleasurable about the exhaustion that follows a satisfying few hours of paddling, and playing World of Tanks on a stationary bike can't come close.
It's not Wednesday anymore, but today has been pretty cool. I feel like this part of my college career is somehow themed. I'm not sure if I somehow planned this unconsciously, but these last two semesters have been eye-opening to say the least. My classes (Dance Appreciation, Art of Power, International Human Rights Law, Memoir, and Personality Psych) seem to have this last remark that "things do not necessarily work the way you think they do". In dance, the acceptance of varying forms of expression fill the classes. In Memoir, I'm asked to give accounts of a life I can't easily recollect without mucking up the details. I won't go through exactly what each class means to me, but all them point to this ideal of complexity and beauty in everyday life. So far this has been my favorite semester of college (I swear it isn't because I graduate in the spring, I love learning).
What a weird week! The current chairman of the hydrogen racing team subtly inquired whether I wanted to take his place this Fall. This weekend I went to the TV recording of a Dutch news comedy show (think John Oliver) which was a ton of fun: I have 4 exams this week, one of which I did on Monday and did great at. Tonight I've got the biggest hurdle to take, which is a differential equations exam. I really hope that after today I'll never have to look at this crap ever again. Will report later how it went. edit: fuck, that was brutal. I think I did better than most though. Whether it is enough to pass I don't know...
I have been absurdly busy. Quick low down: Snowzilla was amazing, I have a new job, government is fucking dumb, and it's barbaric that my grad program makes us do both a comprehensive exam and a thesis in the final semester.
All's been quiet. I can't tell whether that's good or bad, but it has been relaxing.
Working shows, meeting music people, and thinking about putting a show together in March but that thought is kind of terrifying to me. Something something fortune favors the bold? Might take a chance on holding a date and seeing who I can get to play and who will actually come out to see some bands. Starting to feel better about living out here now that I'm actually connected to a couple of communities // maybe because it's slightly less grey this week.
Honestly I just need people to pressure me into shit half the time otherwise I'm too scared of myself to make some things happen.
When I was depressed I would bail on activities all the time. I knew I'd have fun if I went, at least in theory, but I just - had no interest in making myself go. Unfortunately, after a while, this active inaction can become a habit. I had to learn to start making myself go to things that, on a removed level, I knew I'd enjoy and would help me connect with people. I guess it was probably also a fear of interaction? I don't know. Anyway, I know that feel (kind of - it's hard to tie my present day back to that self). I would just say, start practicing making yourself go/do things. Don't try for 100% success or attendance, and allow yourself to bounce if you don't like a thing once you show up there. But I think sometimes we can build habits out of depression and then, even if the depression starts to resolve, continue those habits because that's what they are, unless we work to break them.
I'm going out and doing a lot right now, sometimes it's hard to make the call because, to use tonight as an example: planning on going to a concert by myself and hoping to try and meet people at it. I don't think that's a very easy thing for a lot of people, regardless of mental state.
TIL about bassists Gail Ann Dorsey and Nathan East. Holy prolific.
Check out Lee Sklar, another guy who's been on like, every record.
I know that guy! (figuratively) You see him one time and you can never forget him. He is like the Rick Rubin of bassists; he knows everyone and can get backstage anywhere but he can go out in public without being bothered. He reminds me of Bernie Purdie. The "world's most recorded drummer. I love this seminar where he explains the Purdie Shuffle. That is one guy that really loves his job.
I just got home from my second interview that I've had since I've started looking. I think I did well. I hope I did well. I won't go into details because it's a small mom and pop operation, but I don't think I've ever interviewed at a place I'd be 100% excited to work for before now. I really want this job.
All this week I'm escorting a visitor at work. He's here doing some specialized install work for us, and security policy dictates visitors are escorted at all times. It's exhausting not being able to walk away for a single moment to get a glass of water or use the restroom. It's sort of awful.
At work this week they are renovating the restrooms on our floor, so we have to go up or down a level to get to a bathroom. The number of people who are using the elevators to achieve this both boggles and frustrates me. I would find it incredibly frustrating to have to escort a visitor all week. The amount of conversation you would have to make!
Today as I was walking to get my train, I saw a couple of college-age guys stopping people for a survey or donations or something, so I did my best not to make eye contact. As I walked past, the survey guy on my left said, "Excuse me, Mr. Kent?" with this big smile on his face. Without breaking stride, I removed my glasses and extended my arms, pretending to be flying (like Superman). I like that guy, brightened up my day.
I just realized how important what I do is to my emotions. I'm an... interesting person to describe when it comes to emotions. I experience things - physical touch, sound, internal feeling, so on - more sharply, more clearly than most people; apparently, it's known as being an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person). At the same time, I have no direct access to what I feel: the emotions affect me, but there's no straight way for me to understand what those emotions are. I just feel stuff, without internal labels. Because of the latter, I had to dig deep into psychology to learn it consciously; I like to compare it to the emotional core that theoretical human-like robots might have, because it's not an internal part of their psyche but a mechanism of comparison through various heuristics. As you might guess, it's not always apparent to me what it is it that affects me. It can go on for days before I figure it out. Thankfully, I got much better at it with practice and being honest with myself. Still, it's a reactive practice, and it takes conscious effort. So, when I do something that upsets me - often enough because the idea of doing it is overwhelming - it drags my mood down without me knowing what the heck happened. So, when I masturbate, I give away both my energy and my mood in exchange for a quite pleasurable, but ultimately desctructive in nature few minutes or hours, because now I'm on a lower cognitive and emotional level, prone to the whims of the ego as well as reinforcing the idea that I'm no good to have sex with a real person. When I skip exercising, I give away both my mood and my motivation to go on, because now I worry about not performing as well as I would had I done the exercises as well as feel general pity for myself. Hunger (when I clearly can, and have stuff to, eat), denying myself things I'd enjoy or those that would make me feel good and other such states do the same for me. Basically, I'm stuck with a low energy level unless I expend energy on stuff that should logically tire me. How peculiar is life at times.
I've spent the week in California for work. It was my first flight in a few months and it looks like 2016 might be the year I give up on Delta due to their further watering down of the FF program. Not sure if I can mentally accept the free-for-all seating rush of Southwest, but I suppose that might be my primary domestic option since I'm not sure if the other Delta-esque carriers are much better than Delta. Last night was a great night for me because I saw my Dutch friend that I met in Tokyo years ago. At the height of the night we had 2 Dutch, 1 American (me), 1 Irish, 1 Israeli, 1 SE Asian. It took me back to Tokyo and the beautiful melting pot of the ex-pat community. The Israeli and I closed out the bar with amazing conversation, which led me tonight which saw me sitting in the office until 9 reading research papers about father / daughter relationships. It was nice to stretch my brain a bit.
lil - I never would have expected the papers to have caught anyone's attention, but I suppose I haven't considered the community. For context, my daughter is 8 and lives with her mother a couple of hours away. My relationship with her mother (my ex-wife) is quite stable and she has re-married. I started with 'Turning Points of Closeness in the Father/Daughter Relationship' as it was the primary paper recommended to me and makes references to a great number others. I came away from this one with their primary finding, on both sides of the relationship, in my mind - 'the participation in activities together.' They weighed pretty heavily on sports, but i was buoyed by several of the daughter's comments about travel, something I do considerably more than sports. Much of the rest of the paper felt a few years off for me - middle school, university, marriage - but still interesting. I then switched over to 'The relationship between fatherly affirmation and a woman's self-esteem, fear of intimacy, comfort with womanhood and comfort with sexuality' because while my daughter isn't necessarily at these points in her life, they are something very important to me for her future state. My interaction with those women closest to me marks this one high on the list. That said, the major of the paper's results sort of went over my head. In the end, they proved the critical bits (to me?) of their hypothesis, in that, yep, father's count on the self-esteem and fear of intimacy scales. I've printed off and still need to read 'Divorced Fathers and Their Daughters: A Review of Recent Research'. I think I came onto this one from the references in the first paper. There were a couple of others I was interested in, but they are behind pay-walls and I haven't decided if I want to pony up just yet. Anyway... thanks for the interest... hope it wasn't too horrible a wall of text...
Thanks for these. I read the first one just now and will read the others as well. I agree with the assertion that the father daughter dyad is an important one and is under-appreciated. I treasure it. My daughter is 5.
It's amazing watching her grow up, isn't it? My daughter has introduced my partner and me to bird-watching! We laugh that we've got an old people hobby together, but my daughter was so enthralled by the bird exhibit in the Field Museum (and she's always said she likes birds) that we couldn't help but encourage. It's so amazing to see her personality form and to be able to converse with her on actual mostly-adult subjects.
I've just started into the 3rd paper, and it's a heartbreaking list of findings upon findings... "Whereas only 10% of college students with married parents wondered if their father loved them, more than 30% of those with divorced parents felt this way." "Receiving too little fathering also leads to more troubled, more unstable romantic relationships later in the daughter's life." I'll be going over this one for a bit... so many references, I might be at the precipice of quite the rabbit hole...
Oh, by far. I reflect on these statistics and compare them to myself, my partner and my sister. I and my partner came from phenomenally similar, un-divorced households, but our parents were not those to share emotions. I wonder just how much these statistics reflect our own status versus those of divorced parents... All this said, I'm looking at this 3rd paper as an interesting reflection of our state of divorce, wherein a vast majority of the time the mother is the de-facto custodian, leaving the father in the challenging position to make sure they are spending time with the children. But speaking of rabbit holes...