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humanodon

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hubskier for: 3037 days

I like stuff and stuff. If you also like stuff, I think hubski is a good place for you.

Some stuff you might like, that I like:

#hubskibookclub

#weeklymusicthread

#todayswritingprompt

#poetry

#food

#writebetterdammit

#goodlongread

#animals

#storyclub

*note:

h-u-m-a-n-o-d-o-n, like "iguanodon"


recent comments, posts, and shares:
humanodon  ·  122 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: I recorded a song with lyrics from @Humanodon

Aw man, I just had to search my hard drive for that one. I really like what you did with it! I really do have to get back into writing. What a great way to be reminded! Thanks for that and for writing the song!

humanodon  ·  136 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Hiring a Chief Diversity Officer Won’t Fix Your Racist Company Culture

I think that's so true of so many things. In the US context, what you're talking about also applies to university; how can we expect literal children to choose for themselves the path that will lead them to meaning and financial independence, when they don't have the life experience to really know what they need or want?

In terms of your move to Norway, I'm not very surprised to hear that your experience is so different. Both the UK and the US tend to have very large organizations with a great deal of what I would term, "power distance". For example, here in many organizations (large or small) the people at the top, never meet the people at the bottom, or even in the middle. Different levels tend not to interact with one another much, except through very established channels and contexts.

Here's a real shocker: these kinds of organizations tend to have less potential for upward mobility and as organizations tend to reflect the communities and populations that they're embedded in, they also tend to reflect societal dynamics. In societies with very little social mobility (like the US) we see less internal promotion and more bringing in upper level people from the outside. Further, "chain of command" type org structures tend to have notably higher rates in turnover, which means that they spend a shitload on hiring and trying to establish pipelines to draw on talent. If an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of the cure, for whatever reasons, the customer keeps demanding the cure and wondering why they can't cut costs.

It's not healthy.

humanodon  ·  136 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Hiring a Chief Diversity Officer Won’t Fix Your Racist Company Culture

Unfortunately, at the individual level there are no boilerplate solutions (or at the team/unit/org level). Generally speaking, businesses who have high employee turnover spend shitloads on recruiting and training to replace, not to mention time lost and opportunity costs, the blow to morale, etc.

Rationally speaking, these losses would be expected to curb behaviors that result in turnover, but they tend not to, at least not in the US. The work culture here is so focused on "efficiency" and minimizing costs that it tends to create tunnel vision, but since most other successful businesses also have tunnel vision, people tend not to see it as a problem.

Essentially, if you are in a conflict averse work environment, which is most organizations, then being heard is not as in the cards as one might hope. Part of the issue on that front is that people don't have the resilience or training to engage in conflict productively. That said, when conflict is engaged in productively, it's almost never recognized as conflict at all.

People often voice the need for greater training in conflict management but rarely engage in it, at least in part because many people are uncomfortable with it, which makes practice tough. Lack of practice leads to a lack of skill and—oh look! Here we are, back at square 1.

Where this knowledge can be useful for the lay-person, is in determining whether or not an organization might be a good fit to work in. To answer your question explicitly, you can't make yourself be heard unless the other party is willing to listen. When that occurs at work, it kind of depends on what you value.

humanodon  ·  138 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Hiring a Chief Diversity Officer Won’t Fix Your Racist Company Culture

Ah, this is something I may be able to support on. Then again, I do have a bias as my degree is in conflict resolution and in particular, workplace conflict. One of my areas of interest is actually organizational silence and it’s related phenomena, gossip.

Eng, to my eye what you describe fits well with what I would frame as “latent conflict”, likely due to essentially, the psychological defense mechanisms of leadership. If we’re thinking about flows of communication, in organizations, these flows tend to be oriented horizontally (among peers) and vertically (between ranks/levels).

The tendency of leadership is that they outwardly want say, an open door policy, but are also keenly aware that an open door means that anyone can come in. Thus, vertical conflict management systems tend to be implemented by those at the top to get information from those below.

Simple, right?

Here’s another simple thing; the human mind strives to maintain a positive self-image, which results in attempts to explain or to justify actions after the fact. In a nutshell, the people at the top want to believe that they are good people (however they define that). Negative feedback threatens that positive self-image and so to protect itself, the mind will subconsciously be motivated to defend.

In most cases, this means that the people at the top say they want feedback, but are actively (though often subconsciously) avoiding it. How? By adding layers, and by controlling the timeline for resolution or management.

Now, the people who aren’t at the top quickly learn this. When people aren’t listened to, they stop talking. In organizations, when legitimate channels of grievance aren’t listened to, people stop using them.

Cue gossip. Not only does this create in-group bonding, it can quickly evolve into a way of those without titles to get things done. Most organizations have informal leaders. Next time you’re in a meeting, pay attention to who is being listened to and who isn’t; the titles might not match up with those who are being listened to.

Now, I’ll freely admit that I hate HR and that this is a bias of mine, but as a consultant, I feel like it’s important ( in the American context anyway) to understand that while there are good HR people out there, by and large, HR exists as the organization’s condom: to keep the organization from getting sued.

I bring this up because you mention that they are listening to you. It may be worth your while to get a clear picture of why. In the event that you may be thinking of leaving, it may be some small comfort for you to know that the real costs of employee turnover are often 1/2 or a full year’s salary to replace and then train the new person, not to mention productivity and opportunity costs.

Anyway, one reason why you might find the situation an analog, is because racism is a form of oppression, and many work practices are forms of oppression too. I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through that, but if you’d like to discuss it more, or if I can send useful materials your way, let me know, because that sounds like it sucks balls.

humanodon  ·  165 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: January 6, 2021

Thank you! By the way, I watched Ink Masters. I am so curious about whether the field attracts shitty people, or if that's due to selection bias for the sake of TV. Also, who the fuck is signing up to be a canvas on these shows?

If there's some kind of pipeline, then I'm interested. So many social experiments, so little time.

humanodon  ·  165 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: January 6, 2021

Happy New Year! I got a raise today! It’s not a huge raise, but it’s nothing to sniff at either.

Maybe the bump in income will help me to weather whatever shit storm is brewing.

humanodon  ·  172 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: In Search of Obscure Words for Even Rarer Feelings ‹ Literary Hub

2020 was an umpty year. I dig this list though!

humanodon  ·  182 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: December 16, 2020

Oh word, I'll check that out!

humanodon  ·  185 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: December 16, 2020

What is ink master? AM I MISSING OUT ON SOMETHING?

humanodon  ·  185 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: December 16, 2020

I am! I have to say, that I had no idea how much low-level pain I'd been carrying around FOR YEARS until that damn tooth came out.

I'm really glad to hear that you get to keep your tooth AND get healthy! In this world we're in, that tired old line of "health is wealth" is suddenly and markedly, relevant once again.

I'm also glad to hear that your improved situation has been helpful in managing things with your wife. With that background discomfort and pain, I was always primed for conflict, I know vulnerability is fashionable these days, but there's nothing like letting the guard or the walls down to facilitate getting back on the same page.

I'd encourage you to try to find ways of creating some kind of plans/goals/structure to sustain the music, your overall health, and your relationships as I know that when I (or my clients) don't make such plans, things can slide back to where they were (more or less) and that sense of backsliding can be as demoralizing as realizing you've reached that low, in the first place.

Anyway, glad that things are looking up!

humanodon  ·  185 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: December 16, 2020

Yo, I had a similar thing happen with a tooth. Did a root canal, thought they got it. Turned out that the tooth had a short root and cracked after it was filled. Now that I think about it, this happened to my dad more recently too.

Anyway, it sucks that one of the most expensive things I own is a little piece of my head. That said, walking around for almost a year with no tooth is a humbling experience, even if wasn't noticeable. I found that it was also great for keeping me mindful of my own suffering in relation to that of others.

humanodon  ·  190 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Welcome to Hubski

Hey, welcome!

humanodon  ·  198 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: 10th Anniversary Hubski Virtual meetup Thursday Dec 10

I put it in my calendar and everything!