Person's big fat update:
I stopped coming around hubski because I harbored a deep hatred/resentment for myself that was manifesting itself here and other places online so I decided I needed a break. Went to South Korea and Japan, relaxed a little bit, wallowed in weeb shit in Akihabara and bought a bunch of Kpop in Buson, then came back and fasted. Started hating myself again because fuck this election so that sucked, but I aired it all out on Twitter [surprisingly(?) effective for that sort of thing], and got over it for the most part. Started doing music reviews for RPGFan. Watched a lot of Steven Universe to cheer up. Replaced bags of recess cups with walks around my complex. Got a roommate that isn't complete shit. Then my laptop broke which was REALLY upsetting but my sis helped me get a Surface Book as a replacement (after I got paid I returned the favor by helping her get a Macbook for college, which she starts next month). Found out the Surface Book is actually really really nice for drawing, and since I was hating the fact that most of my identity came from shitposting online and playing videogames, I started doing lots of art with it. I also watched Haikyuu and now I play volleyball a lot, lol.
I still struggle with my deep, deep, DEEP inferiority complexs. I still wonder why I should do anything if I don't show immediate signs of improvement, or if I'm not the absolute best at it. I still mostly have a shit attitude, especially online. When school starts I'll probably be depressed as shit a week in, HAH, BUT I'm learning to cope with those sorts of things so that's good I guess. I probably won't be around hubski very often still but I'll be lurking...watching...silently judging your shit taste in hiphop...
kleinbl00 I played No Man's Sky and got bored with it but I'm living off of the entitled salt that people are spewing at Sean Murry for not delivering the Patron Saint of videogames. I probably won't be picking up a controller again until FFXV/Gravity Rush 2 come out. After that, Persona 5 on February 14th - lord knows I won't be doing anything then!
e. oh I grew a beard
This (determinedkid's comment) makes me sad.
I've been on hubski for five years. The biggest highlight for me was when chapters of the hubskina story were coming out hot and fast. Now they no longer seem to be here where they once were. You were just turning 19 or maybe 20 then, so you must be in a little further along now.
I wish there was something we can do to strengthen you against the racism and social bullshit that is contributing to your deep x 3 feelings of unworthiness.
steve I'd love to get myself to Denver and stage a major intervention.
Beard could be good - earring wouldn't hurt either. I wish you felt better about yourself.
I've biked over a thousand miles in the past two months. I typically run a 1500-2000 calorie-per-day deficit. I have lost zero weight and am no different physically. Last Sunday I sat on the goddamn couch all day and played No Man's Sky.
And lost six pounds.
On the one hand, I recognize this to be an indicator of, for example, an endocrine system under assault. I've earned it; I was an exercise bulimic through most of high school and weighed fully 70lbs less than I do right now. I gave myself a bad case of rhabdomyelosis about 15 years ago getting lost in the woods and humping hard with a 70lb pack to get out. On the other hand, as has been pointed out to me, eating disorders don't just spontaneously dissipate.
I've also sublimated my fear, distaste and distrust of authority enough to apply for a NEXUS pass. It's roughly eight hours door-to-door on my commute, which I do every ten days, and anything I can do to make it more pleasant I'll do. The plus side of the NEXUS process is that it's $45 cheaper than a TSA known traveller number and it has the advantage of not giving money directly to the TSA, whom I shall always loathe and despise. On the minus side, border patrol belongs to the TSA and it takes three months. Or so they tell me.
It's worth it to me to wait an extra two months just to not willingly give money directly to the TSA because fuck them in the neck.
I did the math. For the price of a burger, a coke and a shot of Jack Daniel's every time I hit the airport, an airline club membership pays for itself in eight round trips. I've got four booked before October. Free drinks, free snacks, soup and salad... not to mention better wifi and actual furniture.
So here I am. 41, ponytailed, wearing a t-shirt for a central LA graffiti collective and $7 Ross cargo shorts and I'm gearing up like a goddamn road warrior.
I'll say this: the universe of No Man's Sky is vastly more appealing than my direct surroundings... and the PC gaming community is so unbelievably toxic that I honestly don't understand how any of you interact with it. I was gonna buy an NVidia Shield just to run Plex but now I think I won't just 'cuz I don't wanna get any PC gamer cooties on my life.
The PC gaming community has actually been pretty therapeutic in my own life. I mean it's a personal experience for me, but it helped me realize how awful it is to be so miserable all the time. I took a hard look at myself, and decided I was too much like that. It helped me get to the bottom of a lot my own insecurities. In all things though, there are still some great parts of the PC gaming community that support the healthy love of games in general.
- I'll say this: the universe of No Man's Sky is vastly more appealing than my direct surroundings... and the PC gaming community is so unbelievably toxic that I honestly don't understand how any of you interact with it. I was gonna buy an NVidia Shield just to run Plex but now I think I won't just 'cuz I don't wanna get any PC gamer cooties on my life.
I've been playing Dark Souls 3. One thing they got right is no voice / text communication in PvP / P+PvE. You've gotta communicate with emotes and environmental context. And the messages you can leave on the ground for players in other worlds is limited to a pre-determined set of words.
Which has led to a lot of "finger but hole" runes behind charred bodies hung over railings.
You know what? The only game I've ever played with any sort of online component was Journey. And even that was annoying.
I've determined that I play games for the escapism. I don't WANT your fucking grille in my universe, that's why I'm here, bitch. If I wanted to interact with your sorry ass I'd go take a walk. Now leave me to my AI and my polygons because fuck you.
You weren't running at a caloric deficit if you didn't lose weight. You are probably underestimating your caloric intake (very common), and probably overestimating caloric expenditure; biking doesn't actually burn that many calories per unit of distance. If you actually ran a 1500 calorie deficit for 2 months, or any significant deficit for that matter, you would have lost a very noticeable amount of weight. There are 3500 calories in a pound of fat, so at your claimed rate you would have lost ~25-35lbs in that 2 month span.
Weight loss (and weight gain) is not complicated and does not require keeping track of a lot of factors. Take in fewer calories than you burn, you lose weight. Take in more, you gain weight. Roughly equal intake and outtake, you stay the same. That's really is all there is to it.
This conversation benefits from a fifteen mile bike ride, a ten minute guided meditation and a decent breakfast (a ham & turkey scramble, a grilled cheese sandwich and a tomato, if you must know). It allows me to approach it with the dispassionate perspective it deserves, rather than the vitriolic hellstorm I'm tempted to supply. I'm almost positive you intended to be helpful. I postulate that you applied the tried-and-true /r/fitness "when in doubt, bro it out"/fistbump/flex/regurgitation-of-dogma that qualifies as discourse on most fitness forums. And while I acknowledge and appreciate your attempt to be helpful, I think it's important that you know how toxic,offensive and hurtful your response was.
As ref mentions, I've been calorie counting since the iPhone 3G came out. That'd be eight years. Speaking as a reformed bulimic, allow me to assure you that I'm more aware of calories than anyone you've ever met. More than that, I know the calorie-in,calorie-out game better than anyone; speaking as someone who dropped 100 lbs in three months through the punishing application of aerobic exercise and starvation I can say with confidence that not eating for three days and running eight miles a day is good for three and a half pounds.
You might also be interested to learn that prior to fitness trackers even being widely available on smart phones (they were tricky before GPS), I had a Polar heart rate meter. And while I freely acknowledge that their measurements are imperfect (dear MapMyRun: why, exactly, do you count calories backwards when I'm at a traffic light?), they're also not wildly inaccurate. I weigh 206 lbs. I'm going between 11 and 20 mph (I beat a moped home yesterday - I'm not exactly approaching this in a leisurely fashion). I do it for between an hour and an hour ten each way. For added fun, I do it on a flat bar fitness bike hauling 15 lbs of gear. I invite you to look up the caloric expenditure for that and tell me how much your estimates disagree with mine. Only not mine. UnderArmour's, and before that, Strava's, and before that, Runkeeper's.
Finally, it might interest you to know that I've increased my daily calorie intake by maybe 500 or so on average from before I was biking 30 miles a day. That's above the 1800 that MyFitnessPal thinks I need to lose a pound a week. Which I don't; I know that flies in the face of gymbro dogma but the fact of the matter is, calories in minus calories out does not equal fat loss. Thermodynamics isn't the endocrine system. Sure - if all things are working perfectly you will lose weight when you restrict calories. Take it from me, though - those extra 500 calories are what I need to not feel light-headed on the way home. That's the sort of margin I'm living in. And when I'm not biking, I'm running about three miles a day, six or seven days a week.
Don't fret your acolytic little head, though - I'm actually under care for endocrine disruption, and have been for six years now. I know there are some sects of the One True Faith where glandular issues aren't takfir and one can still experience issues outside of "calories in, calories out" without causing apostasy. Perhaps your faith is one of those, in which case you'll be happy to know that in 2010 my cortisol levels were actually above the measurable scale of an adrenal fatigue saliva test. I dropped 30 lbs once my endocrine system was under artificial pharmaceutical support.
But that support is failing, probably due to increased stress, and I find it frustrating, and I expressed it.
I would have told you all of this had you asked. Had you inquired about any of the above I would have gladly shared. Instead you assumed, and now we're having this awkward conversation. Rather than wondering whether or not I might understand what calories are, based on my discussion of them, you presumed that obviously I'm an idiot. Rather than questioning my health, you questioned my truthfulness, my observational skill and my intelligence. More than that, you just threw a "you're not trying hard enough" face-slap at a self-professed former bulimic. Highest mortality rate of any mental disorder, including chronic depression. Just so you know.
I recognize I'm a rare bird. One in two hundred, one in three hundred depending on who you ask. Women are three times more likely to have an eating disorder. Shit, according to the DSM-IV men can't even have an eating disorder because our periods can't be disrupted (look it up). But the next time you stumble across an internet forum and someone professes an eating disorder and difficulty losing weight, think twice before saying "toughen the fuck up."
Please.
I'll put this simply - if someone tells you that they were having a hard time losing weight, despite counting calories and adding a spinning class five times a week, your instinct should be to wonder what else is going on. It shouldn't be to doubt their word. And depending on how you count, I've added between two and four spinning classes a day to my life with no measurable effect.
The above discussion was for your benefit, and for the benefit of others on the Internet you may come across. Ending it here, and forever, is for mine.
In the Name of Brodin, Wheymen
P.S. Don't you just love it when a stranger tries to tell you some Truth about your Body, everyone? Anyone? Last week my girlfriend's coworker gave her a speech about how rare Celiac disease is in the population because she let loose her allergy to gluten. And then, the clouds in the sky broke open, and the light of the Sun shoneth upon her, and lo! She ate of the loaves and the fishes, and her hunger was satisfied, and she said "Verily! This is the true coming of the Lord!"
....actually, I believe she told him he could tell her whether she was allergic to gluten after force-feeding her Benadryl to keep the hives down and wiping her ass after her explosive shits for the next 3 days.
And then he apologized.
Hey dude,
I'm just going to interject here that KB calorie tracks daily and has been for years. I know this because I'm his stalker, duh. Not to mention that it's quite possible for an eating disorder to have long-term side effects on the human body. And let's not even consider what all else he might have wrong with him. I mean, dude's a little grungy. He's got that ponytail going...could have worms, maybe, you know, even?
Of course, you don't know KB as well as I do, or his eating habits, or exercise habits, or past history with food, or any of those things.
But I can assure you he already knows about CICO and that there are 3500 calories in a pound of fat.
Your comment would be totally in place if it was on r/loseit, and honestly, if you'd said it there, I'd probably have upvoted and moved on. It's just...KB's not a dumbass or a dilettante when it comes to cal counts, weight loss, exercise, etc. So I'm just gonna raise up and try to let you know as politely as possible, your comment here is coming across condescending as all hell.
And maaaybe I just saved you a verbal whipping by doing this. (But not if you get defensive about what all I've just said. Cuz I'm trying to be nice here, I really am, and it's not something I even try very often.)
I wasn't expecting my comment to blow up like it did. I would reply to kleinbloo, but he blocked me. I could write out a long detailed response and PM it to him (Edit: no, I probably couldn't have done that since apparently the block function does include a PM mute) but frankly I know he won't listen based on how hard he blew up after my initial comment. So I'll just write a response to you and anyone else in the thread that hasn't blocked me can just read this:
Kleinbloo's endocrine issues are likely causing him extreme fatigue when he eats at a caloric deficit, something I would think is especially likely since he mentioned having to increase intake by about 500 calories in order to not feel light-headed after riding. That is understandable, and I admit that I started writing my standard boilerplate "it's all about CICO" response as soon as I saw his statement that he was eating at an extreme deficit and not losing weight, without reading the rest of his comment first.
However, regardless of the effects his endocrine system are having on his body, they are not allowing him to eat at a sustained caloric deficit without losing weight. It simply isn't possible, and no matter how long and detailed of a response you write, that won't change. That ~15 miles/day of riding that he mentioned (1000 miles over the last 2 months)? The 500 calories he added would be about right to cover that extra burn; for most people cycling burns between 25 and 40 calories per mile, or around 375-600 calories for his mentioned daily riding.
His medical issues may make it difficult, or maybe even unsafe, in a way that isn't fair to him, to lose weight. I'll admit my initial comment was rushed and insensitive since I didn't take the time to read his entire comment before writing mine. His endocrine issues may be reducing his caloric expenditure, making it so that the recommended intake from MyFitnessPal is too high. While he may have legitimate medical issues that make his case somewhat different and may even make an attempt at weight loss inadvisable, those issues do not, and cannot, give him free-energy-from-nothing superpowers.
The above discussion was for your benefit, and for the benefit of others on the Internet you may come across. Ending it here, and forever, is for mine.
Hey man,
1) you were rude,
2) you're now saying it was OK to be rude because you're still right, because oh by the way
3) you still think you're more of an expert on someone's body than the person who lives within it.
This isn't a world where you have to choose between being right, or being liked, not usually at least, for sure, but in this moment, with your words, you are seriously narrowing your options.
In a website built around community, are you sure the choice you're making is the best one for you - the one you wanna make?
Also, there's this thing known as a public apology. You know. For shit done in public.
But if you were going to apologize, what would you even say? Because this is you buckling down. Nothing else.
The only thing I really did was tell the guy that it really is all about calories in vs. calories out. He could have just politely disagreed and moved on, but he got butthurt and went on this long self-absorbed rant about how tough he has it and how he's the special case to which this law doesn't apply. But it does apply to him just like it does to everyone else, and everyone else has their own set of challenges in life too, and that definitely includes me.
I'm guessing you're friendly with him based on the way you're sticking up for him, and that's fine, but I don't know him, and right now all I see is someone that overreacted, and to whom I definitely don't feel the need or desire to apologize.
Are you talking about the 'Introducing Metaphoria' post? It does sound like an interesting series, but I don't really see the similarity.
I do feel like I could have been more tactful with my initial comment. But I've also learned I strongly dislike the kinds of people that take unintended offenses and try to frame them as personal attacks, which is why I have no intention to try to reconcile.
But you are correct, Hubski is a great site with a lot to offer. The community is top-notch and the site mechanics give the power to the user to craft their own experience, instead of letting other users dilute it. I really need to come around more often.
It's odd: I can't find the post I meant to have you see.
Short version is: I made a post about something. kb came in and told me something about the topic of the post. I said (here and forth paraphrases) "You're confusing some things". kb went "I have awards, I'm recognized for those things I talk about etc., so curses onto you". I went ballistic, in a form far less polite than what you've replied with to ref. Soon enough mutual muting ensued.
Since then I've learned that kb sometimes delivers better than your take-out pizza. The guy's as soft as sandpaper on the outside, but he has something behind that big mouth of his that's worth looking at.
- The above discussion was for your benefit, and for the benefit of others on the Internet you may come across.
No it was not. It was for entirely your own benefit. The reason nobody respects your opinion is because it's so incredibly simplified that you didn't even bother to finish reading up about his situation before throwing the standard statement every fake internet expert makes. You even admit that in your post.
Had you wanted to be helpful or actually given a shit about him at all you would have ask him if he had spoken with a professional who could maybe figure out a better plan that would work for his situation. In other words simply saying this is how it should work and all the info on the internet revolves around that so maybe consider seeing somebody who can give you a plan that fits you and your issues. People who care about someone direct them to professionals who can assess all the information and give someone detailed help. What you gave was just a standard reply from somebody who thinks they have the world figured out and want everybody to know.
- That ~15 miles/day of riding that he mentioned (1000 miles over the last 2 months)? The 500 calories he added would be about right to cover that extra burn; for most people cycling burns between 25 and 40 calories per mile, or around 375-600 calories for his mentioned daily riding.
I'm hardly an authority on the subject (read: I just did the maths after looking some stuff up in encyclopaedia assuming that burnt values per mile you gave are correct) these numbers work for 6 pound loss for pure fat that has a caloric value of 9000kcal/kg. Adipose tissue on the other hand is roughly 7700kcal/kg. You seem to be using the first value as in:
600 kcal * 60 / (9000kcal/kg) = 4.00 kg = 8.80 lbs
375 kcal * 60 / (9000kcal/kg) = 2.50 kg = 5.50 lbs
lost weight in 60 days (hence the 60 in numerator) is closer, and with much lower range, to the value klein reported. However, for adipose tissue it should be (again, I'm taking this from PWN encyclopaedia):
600 kcal * 60 / (7700kcal/kg) = 4.68 kg = 10.29 lbs
375 kcal * 60 / (7700kcal/kg) = 2.92 kg = 6.42 lbs
Again, I am in no way qualified and any corrections would be much appreciated. Not to even mention that I'm uncertain if I got the meaning behind the quote correctly. Either way, as far as I am aware for now, klein's reduced weight is pretty consistent, although in the lowest quarter for both ranges, with these values. Depending on the method of measuring the weight and its accuracy on top of that. I'll end it by saying that if thermodynamics taught me anything, this model is too broad of an approximation. Klein is not an isolated cylinder after all ;).
Had a treadmill stress test this morning to evaluate my cardiac function and try and figure out if there's a reason why I am still feeling routinely crappy even after some substantial weight loss and better management of my fluids/electrolytes. The last time I had one was 5 years ago and I was able to perform about 70% of what is expected for a person of my age/sex/weight. Today I was at 49%.
I'm not happy about it. Because of this result I have to have a wire shoved into my heart through my neck while I'm conscious.
I have a date on Saturday. She's lovely, intelligent, deeply caring and empathetic. We're going to get coffee and a bagel and go kayaking. Or if we get rained out, a museum and a barbecue joint I've been meaning to try out.
I'm allowed to have croutons. The spirit of the challenge is much more "eat healthy" than anything.
Having bagels in the household might break the actual challenge on my end, though. Damn I love bagels. An onion bagel with lox and smear? We're in heaven.
poppy seed bagel, lox&cream cheese, glass of cranberry juice. that's my go to comfort food.
I'm agnostic about veggies in my bagels. Except capers. Capers are ok
Cell phone. Make sure she does not bring her cell phone. That is a sure way to never get a second date through no fault of your own - if she brings anything non-waterproof because she didn't think about it and it gets ruined.
Also make sure she's got the right shoes. I wore hiking shoes and socks last time I went canoeing. I is a silly.
Hey Pubs.
Life is finally settling down into a comfortable pace, now that the renovation and wedding are in the past. The wife and I continue to be totally moony-eyed over each other, and enjoy all of the time we spend together.
Thinking of going to the Iceland Airwaves music festival in November... just a crazy idea at the moment, but something we are considering. We have money. We can schedule the time off at my work. So we are weighing options.
Also, I am enjoying digging into little projects right now. Installed a new powered radio antenna in our RV, so we get better reception. Also fixed the ceiling fan, to make sure it is working well. And repaired the driver's side window motor, which had burned out. Now I'm thinking about designing and making some new door panels for the driver's side and passenger doors. Maybe wood. Bought a Dremel tool just to make sure I have the right tools for the job! (Plus, new tools! Woohoo!)
And writing is happening again. The historical TV series documenting the founding of Seattle, that I am writing, is starting to fall into place. I know the people. I know their histories. I've got good software to keep track of all the bits (writing in Scrivener, timelines in Aeon Timeline), and I'm seeing the story arcs that will run over the two seasons, within each season, and for each character. Now I need to distill those down into individual episode plots - probably 20 of them - of which I have about 5 worked out.
Life? It's good.
I got drinks with one of the Fellows also going to Kosovo under the same grant yesterday and she was awesome. i got kinda nervous when i did the math on her linkedin to figure out her age and was worried i'd just feel super junior or whatever bc she's in her 30's and i am un petit infant but it turned out to be nbd/yet another imposter syndrome moment. We've both worked at DTRA (tbh apparently a ton of people do a stint here which is hilarious to me because I'd honestly never even heard of it before I started working here and it turns out like every other person I talk to from my grad program or whatever has worked here at some point) and she's spent time in Kosovo on contracts to total about 6-8 months. she was able to answer some of my weird niggling questions (do i buy snow boots here or wait til i get there, answer: get them here, Kosovo has no shopping options) and was super familiar with all the hotels the embassy wants us to use for the first week and all the sights we needed to see. we bonded over having type A personalities and being frustrated with the agenda for this weekend only being posted yesterday (wtf are out of towners supposed to do w/ no info/short notice??)
this weekend is the predeparture orientation and i am stoked to take 3 days off work and hang out in conference rooms in a hotel all weekend. there's also a mysterious White House trip on a day that was supposed to have no programming (literally the agenda entry says "9:30-10:30 Meeting". no further info ETA: just got a confirmation email and a note that they hope we "look forward to the magnitude" of the opportunity :O). i'm excited to meet the Mysterious Program Manager who has been my point of contact throughout this whole boondoggle and also to meet the other fellows and commiserate over how much of a boondoggle the whole process has been. also free food. the fellow i met with yesterday was saying her contact had advised her to stay in the hotel rather than staying home (bc duh free hotel??) because the days have "late nights and early mornings" so idk wtf is in store for this weekend lulz. "early" means breakfast 7:30-8:30 so?? although a few of us, Kosovo fellows inclusive, have skype calls w/ the embassy ass early one of the days so that makes sense.
the alum for kosovo (who i have been warned by a previous grantee is somewhat intense...w/o elaborating on the type of intense) is also going to give us a tour of the embassy of kosovo in DC so that will be cool too
should be a neat weekend. it'll be my first travel blog input so i'll share that probably next pubski.
I am REALLY excited to hear about your experience there!
- (do i buy snow boots here or wait til i get there, answer: get them here, Kosovo has no shopping options)
Yeah, shopping in Kosovo means "drive to the one mall in Skopje, Macedonia". Which also means a border crossing, which can be 5 minutes or 9 hours.
Oh! And this is probably going to remain a Big Deal in Kosovo for quite a while: http://edition.cnn.com/2016/08/07/sport/majlinda-kelmendi-kosovo-olympics/
yes!! even the former fulbrighters i've added on facebook are excited about kelmendi's medal. i'm also going to make sure to get a picture with the new street dedicated to Beau Biden
my thought was sometimes options are limited here in terms of pieces that will actually protect me from the elements vs whatever is in style (Canada Goose jackets were huge with rich George Washington University students last year which is stupid because DC gets cold and snowy but not sub zero) so a place that gets serious winters would have serious winter options, but I guess that's not the case
So, last week I've told about that I might get to be an exchange student to USA or Canada. This is still true and I have the list and it gives 5 options in Canada and over 100 in USA, at least two options per state excluding Alaska, Delaware, Hawaii, Montana and Ohio which don't offer any (btw, do you have any explanation as to why? Just curious.). Two are from Ivy League, but what I read about them only makes me less willing to try (as in "I don't feel posh enough for Warsaw, let alone Ivy League"). I'll spend some time researching which offers best physics and mathematics options. If you have some suggestions that are fairly 'big names', feel free to shoot. It's likely that it's on the list.
I'll have to do some extra English exam, apparently B2 is not enough. On one hand, annoying. On the other hand, I get it and I myself felt like my skill is lacking. Not to mention that getting a student visa takes at least three months… rd95's idea of extreme camping trip under "manifest destiny" begins to sound almost reasonable by comparison with the amount of crap involved with visas ;).
In other news, I have done all extracurricular work for this summer. Some of my own results might even get published!
Now I'm looking at options to visit my brother in Sweden in about a week, which is pretty cool. It's weird that you can miss someone so much despite talking on Skype on almost daily basis. Plan for now states a road trip and, among other, visiting our aunt who lives near Oslo in Norway. If possible, anyone interested in making Nordic + Polish meeting?
I live in NC near Duke. If you end up there, I'll buy you a pint.
If your Montana option is UM in Missoula, thenewgreen might suggest that you give it some consideration. It's not a big city, and in this case that is all advantage. It's beautiful out there, and the town has plenty of character.
Hm, maybe I wrote it in a way that wasn't particularly clear. The states that I've had mentioned (Alaska, Delaware, Hawaii, Montana and Ohio) don't present any offers. Other states give at least two options each.
Thanks anyway though. Sorry for confusion :).
DE LA WARE
DE LA WARE
I AM HERE IN DE LA WARE
Because there are only 2-3 universities in Delaware, total. (2-3 because I know for sure 2 are actually technically universities, but I'm not sure about the 3rd.) And of those - let's be generous and say 3 - there is really only 1 that is well-regarded. That one does offer quite a few study abroad and exchange programs, so I don't know why it isn't on your list, but I'm guessing it's just something about specific countries or programs in your case. The U certainly engages international students on the reg.
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As for Alaska, kids your age are literally leaving the state so fast that the state's picking up tuition bills to try and get young people to stay there.
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As for Hawaii, also small. Also abhorrently expensive. Probably can't afford to bring in that huge of a population of students in general, let alone foreign ex as well as just regular ol' Americans.
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Ohio? Genuinely no clue why on that one.
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Montana? At least for a while had a population density of like 3 people per square mile. Might be a factor. Not exactly a happening spot. Also, at least was one of the leading suicide states. You wouldn't want to go there even if they did offer a program. (This portion of my explanations driven entirely by memory and not research. Accuracy may be below par.)
Thanks for explanation! Maybe we could even meet if I would end up on the East Coast :D.
- Also abhorrently expensive
That sounds horrible, especially after seeing UPenn and Princeton on my list. It's expensive compared to Ivy League? Holy fuckballs on a money-burning sandwich!
Chicago has a large Polish community, so you might look at opportunities there.
And, of course, California is a total melting pot where you will meet people from everywhere in the world, and has the benefit of seriously brainiac schools (maths and engineering) like Stanford, USC, CalPoly, UC Berkeley, etc. Might be good schools there.
Stanford is listed along similar stipulations that AU. Berkeley is free of any additional 'footnotes with footnotes'. Truth be told I've had an eye for it as I recall their history as "major CalTech competitor since Feynman", which is awesome in my book ;).
Side-note… I think I'll literally go to some sort of lawyer so that he/she could translate this legal gibberish for me. It's frigging mind-boggling that I can read this (and the only edition I could get from library is in English) fairly comfortably, but need a dictionary, Google and a stumped father next to me to read a legal note in my native language and fail consistently. :/
I really hope you can make it here, even if we never get to meet (but wouldn't it be cool if we did?). For fear if sounding like a broken record, America really is a wonderful country full of amazing people. You'd have a blast here and you'd probably get a lot out of it, especially if you wind up at a good school.
Don't worry, I'm the same about Poland (I took literal break from writing, to not spam) ;).
As of good school, I think that most of the ones I have on my list are really good. As of fitting in, that's a completely different thing. To say that I don't particularly excel in social interactions is among the understatements of the century. List of people I get along with and could call friends for one reason or another boils down to my room mate, two guys that I roleplay with (fun fact: I might turn out to be a GM of a guy who might end up being a TA for one of my classes. Talk about conflict of interest :D) and a post-doc from Netherlands with whom I have one of those amazing dynamics (both in research and in 2 vs 2 table tennis :P) that can be best described as "a whole that is greater than the sum of its parts". Most of the people along with I study don't seem to enjoy my company. This is going to sound terrible of me, but the main hope it'll change comes from the fact that I have started mathematics along 120 people and to second year qualified only 34 of them, and ratio on physics looks even grimmer. Although it's a bit shit that the main reason some people might talk to me is a rapid choice density reduction.
Sorry if it seems like I'm a downer here, not really what I want to convey here. It's, like most things that I write, as honest and precise set of statements of facts that I can make. I'm actually quite chill about it ;).
Pfft. You'll probably be fine here. Like I said, if you do anything socially awkward, you can just play the foreign card. "Oh? You eat tacos with your hands? That's weird. In Poland we use a spoon and an apple peeler." If you're a math major, you'll probably find some nerdy friends that you'll get along fine with. Any trouble there, go to a local gaming shop and see if they have an list of gamers looking for a group. That's a good way to make friends too. Just be cool and you'll probably be fine. :)
I'm biased obviously but is American University one of your available options? Would highly recommend (again, HUGE bias)
It's where I got my BA from :P That said, the faculty I know were very invested in their students' success and I really learned a lot and benefited from the school's location.
That said, I was an international relations major, not a math/science major. One of my very good friends got her degree in physics and I knew a few math majors I don't know how good the departments are. I know it's not a huge science school because politics/international relations are their big sells so the programs might suffer for that. There's a pretty strict divide between the math/sciences and softer sciences; they don't even require IR majors to take statistics. So it might not be the best fit for your purposes.
Got invited to my friend's wedding next year, in Moldova. I met her in Montreal, where she moved for university. Then, she went on an exchange semester to Germany and met this half-german half-Japanese guy with who she eventually moved to Australia. And now they're getting married in her home country.
Talk about an international couple eh?
I don't know if we're gonna be able to make it, but I'll certainly do my best :)
Aren't you and (if I recall correctly) Алексей not alike that? I gather that he's Russian as well, judging by the free Russian speech flowing from him in one of your videos (you spoke Russian in the background), but there you are, living in Canada and speaking English.
Now that you mention it, I do remember you addressing him "Саш", not "Лёш". (on a sidenote, it's peculiar that we discuss what amounts to Slavic matters in English on an English-speaking forum)
How did you meet? Did you just bump into each other on the street?
I've finished reading The Hunting of the President.
I came to mildly dislike the book itself (the tone oscillates from bland to partisan, and it repeats a lot when providing background on people that appear in each chapter. I'd rather it had put that in footnotes so I could skip it if the information was still fresh in mind.), but the events contained inside of it were revealing.
Do I feel more warm and fuzzy to the Clintons after reading the book? No. But I have a better understanding of why they act as evasive as they do, and it colors how I see media coverage of Hillary now.
I'm also 'still' (haven't picked it up recently) reading The Communist Manifesto and just started (like, I'm 2% in to) A People's History of the United States by Howard Zinn. I seem to be able to juggle three books at a time, so I'm not sure what the third will be. I was going to read Robert Oppenheimer: A Life Inside the Center by Ray Monk, but I'm waffling now.
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My union local is having the pre-Labor Day picnic this Saturday. I'm thinking about going, even if it is out of the way. A representative from the national was outside work today, I donated some money to the "Voter Education" fund. Right to Work fucking blows for us.
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It is starting to sink in that I agreed to make half of my family's Thanksgiving dinner this year. I figure I need to point out that I don't eat meat and show them what all I'll be making so they can plan around that fact. I'm thinking about it now so I can fine tune my recipes and not hear complaints about how it is missing meat.
So far, I'm thinking about:
- Oat flour rolls
- Mashed potatoes with a mushroom gravy
- Corn soup
- Shepard's pie
- Rice (or maybe bread) pudding
- a final dish I haven't figured out yet
Well, my job search has truly begun, with my resume being sent to every corner of the universe. The education isn't my problem, its more along the lines that my experience is lacking. I'm gonna spend my time working building experience, and figure out just what it is that I want to explore further. I know at some point I need to get back to school though.
I have decided to take kleinbl00's advice and invest some money in a small window garden. There will probably be more news on that later in the week. I was thinking maybe some basil, mint, and other small herbs. I'm not sure how possible it is to pot flowers and such. I'm terribly excited to start.
Don't go to Home Depot (gardner friend calls the big boxers "buy and die" stores). Find a local garden center run by the old crusty types. Ask them what will grow well in a window box where you live. They'll ask "which window." be prepared to tell them.
The biggest trick to container gardening is that they dry out impossibly fast. You can add powdered gel to the soil that will help alleviate that problem. Also, Miracle Grow can be added sporadically without any ill effects.
Good luck.
Halfway done with writing my thesis proposal.
Re-re-re-injured my knee last week. Someone else in my lab defended this week on cartilage signaling, and the background on arthritis fallout in the years after joint injuries has me worried. But maybe this is my chance to become a cyborg?
There are two shows coming up but due to the US not having a health care system (we have a pyramid scam designed to feed cash to insurance agencies) I may not have the disposable income to go to both. Oh and I still feel like shit and am now on drugs to try to fix things that may or may not be fucked up inside my walking corpse. Postmodern Jukebox tickets for the part of the theater worth sitting in are $90... 90 fucking dollars. Slayer is in town at the end of the year and those tickets are $100. If I go to Slayer I need to hit the gym hard so that I can hang in the pit with the kiddies and enjoy the show, and I have zero energy to do anything but work and sleep right now.
I have nothing but sympathy for doctors. The health insurance nonsense makes me upset that Sanders did not get more traction and have a ground game that could have won. Older doctors are starting to see the writing on the wall and leaving, the young doctors are looking at the old work loads and demanding work-life balance to be a thing and GP's are still being shit on by both the hospitals and the insurance companies. Hospitals discourage general practice because it bills for less than specialty care; insurance pays less due to it being mostly maintenance care (your physical every year is 100% covered under the ACA, paid by your insurance). If they knew exactly what the fuck was wrong with me and shipped me off to a specialist and that fixed me, I'd still be out the stacks of cash but at least I'd be better.
You jerks in Colorado? Vote for single payer. It may not help, it may hurt, but at least it is not this shit we are dealing with now.
Oh my way back to school. Currently in the Newark airport, and after this just a quick 1 hour flight before I get to sit in the Syracuse airport for two hours waiting for my ride. Woo.
But in like 4 hours I'll get to see my friends, so that's nice.
E: "Deplaning" is one of my favorite words. I always imagine like a transformer ceasing to be a plane for a little.
oh shit idk if ref and i are snapchat friends. we should be bc i have to put up with way too many dog snaps and not enough cat snaps in my feed.
I'm headed to a national meetup for my car next week (1st Gen Honda Insight). It's probably one of my favorite communities, because it's usually a combination of engineers, IT guys, techies, and environmentalists who attend. You always see lots of cool stuff at the meets, too, and the guy organizing it this year has put a lot of effort into making this one a blast.
Temporarily back in the northeast, feeling weird. Feeling like this is where I should be, ultimately. There's a lot of small things, the feeling of humidity dissipating at night, driving on winding roads lined with houses and fields and not much else, jaywalking and not feeling weird about it, that make me feel almost at ease. I'm not sure how to describe it in a way that makes sense, because those are external things, right? And ultimately happiness comes from within. But I think this is the kind of place that ultimately will provide the environment to foster that internal cultivation. And I don't think that's something you can realize until you're somewhere else.
I have found somewhere to settle down (Mile End, east London)! Well, I'll live there for three months at the very minimum. Compared to all the places I've lived so far this year that's settling down. The watershed will come when I put up posters. The invisible tape is staring at me. Kind of looks like an eye.
I've missed badminton for the past few weeks because I've been house hunting in the weekday evenings and seeing my family and friends from secondary school in the evening. Just started again today - my body's going to ache tomorrow. There's something satisfying about that feeling. Yes, it's painful but it reminds you that you got off your arse and did something.
I've been making music, but it's under a pseudonym and I don't want to cross the streams with online identities. I haven't made anything that's actually any good - I really want to learn more about making songs and not just doodling with sound. I don't say anything embarrassing online but I still have this old fashioned feeling that the different 'spheres' of my life should be at least vaguely separate. Thanks to the hyperlink, any boundaries you draw between your different personas have to be watertight or they don't I have a few ideas how to resolve all this. Don't worry, it won't hurt a bit.
Work is going well. I've been talking to other people in the industry (friends) and it seems like the variety of software I get to play with is pretty wide. We don't have strictly demarcated job roles so this really is a good chance to learn about lots of different things. Even as a junior developer, there's a bit of scope for me to use my initiative to introduce new ways of producing software.
I would rant at you all about British politics but honestly I'm not sure what to say. After many legal, semi-legal (but universally unethical) interventions by the parliamentary party, the inner party (the NEC) and people in the media there is going to be another election for Labour Party leader. Constituency Labour parties (i.e. local groupings of registered supporters) have overwhelmingly voted in Corbyn's favour, the parliamentary Labour party has overwhelmingly voted against Corbyn. Internal politics are continuing to heat up - six left wing members have just been elected to the NEC, the administrative head of the party that is independent of Corbyn.