I've biked over a thousand miles in the past two months. I typically run a 1500-2000 calorie-per-day deficit. I have lost zero weight and am no different physically. Last Sunday I sat on the goddamn couch all day and played No Man's Sky.

And lost six pounds.

On the one hand, I recognize this to be an indicator of, for example, an endocrine system under assault. I've earned it; I was an exercise bulimic through most of high school and weighed fully 70lbs less than I do right now. I gave myself a bad case of rhabdomyelosis about 15 years ago getting lost in the woods and humping hard with a 70lb pack to get out. On the other hand, as has been pointed out to me, eating disorders don't just spontaneously dissipate.

I've also sublimated my fear, distaste and distrust of authority enough to apply for a NEXUS pass. It's roughly eight hours door-to-door on my commute, which I do every ten days, and anything I can do to make it more pleasant I'll do. The plus side of the NEXUS process is that it's $45 cheaper than a TSA known traveller number and it has the advantage of not giving money directly to the TSA, whom I shall always loathe and despise. On the minus side, border patrol belongs to the TSA and it takes three months. Or so they tell me.

It's worth it to me to wait an extra two months just to not willingly give money directly to the TSA because fuck them in the neck.

I did the math. For the price of a burger, a coke and a shot of Jack Daniel's every time I hit the airport, an airline club membership pays for itself in eight round trips. I've got four booked before October. Free drinks, free snacks, soup and salad... not to mention better wifi and actual furniture.

So here I am. 41, ponytailed, wearing a t-shirt for a central LA graffiti collective and $7 Ross cargo shorts and I'm gearing up like a goddamn road warrior.

I'll say this: the universe of No Man's Sky is vastly more appealing than my direct surroundings... and the PC gaming community is so unbelievably toxic that I honestly don't understand how any of you interact with it. I was gonna buy an NVidia Shield just to run Plex but now I think I won't just 'cuz I don't wanna get any PC gamer cooties on my life.