Remember everyone, invasions of privacy are only a problem if it happens to your side. There's no issue with posting private information on a public forum as long as it's people you don't agree with.
They are both involved in a brand-new organization with a particularly "pro-humanity" objective, but he just found out the company's president is a bigot. Feel like that should be information for everyone to have.
Nonprofits provide great cover for tax purposes. Socially-sensitive nonprofits also provide great cover for amoral purposes. Things are great until suddenly they aren't. It sounds like things are about to "aren't." Whistleblower statutes are not particularly useful to whistleblowers and your conscience and experience are the most important thing here, but it sounds like she's done this before and, unless there's press, she'll do it again. Take care of you first and foremost but nonprofits are, at a fundamental level, taxes that aren't being collected in the interests of the common good.
Student body elections. I'm running for president against my 5-year rival. The last time we ran at the same time, we tied. There are 1,000 kids in my school. The competition is pretty much at full pace and we're a week before official campaign declarations. Speeches to each of the four grades coming up in 2 weeks, luckily that's my strong point. Competitiveness is at the point that I'm on google searching for common political tactics and how to counter attacks, how to strategize as an incumbent vs. a competitor, etc. He's already tried to pull some crazy shit that I can elaborate on later, idk if I should be firing back or not. There's no way to tell who has the upper hand at this point, but he's far more "popular" than I am. This hasn't stopped me from winning in the past, but I'm not so sure this time because the "Student Organization" we're running for ties into the entire school, as opposed to being a "Class Cabinet" presidentdoing work relating to just our grade. I'm pumped and anxious at the same time. Tips?
Wallace Stanley Sayre Student body bullshit, Election notwithstanding, is a nerfy sort of corner of politics. Y'all are basically figureheads with no real power whose main function is to build consensus and give a voice to the student body. As such, emphasize that the biggest asset in a student body elected official is the ability to work with others so that grievances are heard, so that desires are achieved and so that the students get what they want from the administration while the administration can successfully communicate with the student body. A good student politician is a talented and charismatic interlocutor, not a talented and charismatic leader. If you want to dig into it more, you want to be more like a union rep than a government official. Emphasize that your job is to get everyone on the same page and make sure that students get what they want from an administration that cannot be compelled to say "yes." You don't even need to say "my opponent is running a divisive campaign" because by showing you're attempting to build consensus you're leading by example. Smile a lot, speak honestly, and solve problems, don't make more. Student government is where bureaucrats shine, not leaders... don't be afraid to point that out, and don't be afraid to wear that mantle like it's something you're proud of doing."Academic politics is the most vicious and bitter form of politics, because the stakes are so low."
Record and post one of the speeches for comments. I assume you tailor your speech to each of the four grades. Address his crazy shit with brilliant wit. "My opponent says I don't know my ass from my elbow. He's right. I don't know my ass -- my opponent, however, knows my ass intimately." hmmmm, no that might not sound right.
"My opponent says I don't know my ass from my elbow. He's right. I don't know my ass -- my opponent, however, knows my ass intimately." hmmmm, no that might not sound right.
-This is why I love pubski. I almost spit out my wine...
steve crushed a young girl's long-running dream of being our senior class president by giving a rousing off-the-cuff speech without a mic or shoes. It was an incredible thing to behold. She forgave him, and they became friends. Now steve has to plan our class reunions.
Go pabbles! My senior year student body president is still a good friend. He made this, most recently: Good stuff.
It's all very much akin to what may be the worst teen drama film of all time. Writing it out, I'm half-laughing in ultimate cringe, and half-questioning why I go to school every day. We'll call him Matt. Matt has fucked all the girls, gotten great grades, and lined himself up since freshman year as the guy who's headed to West Point. Is that last bit familiar? Almost comically, it's as if Matt and I are identical in our desires and objectives. Many people who don't really know either of us have told both of us that we're "like the same people." At the same time though, we're complete opposites. Clarifying disclaimer, I haven't fucked all the girls and my grades are okay. Matt's family is very affluent, which may contribute to him being a stunning sociopath. He dated a girl, we'll call her Amy, for about a year. Amy isn't terribly bright, an arch-dutchess of over-entitled suburban teen drama, and also a very broken person– with all the personal issues she may have, it turns out that Matt has played a direct role in them. Matt cheated on her constantly, and apparently hit her a few times as well– she wasn't the first girlfriend to claim this. She was treated badly, and was never really given the resources growing up to know how to deal with it. Amy told me yesterday that she had decided to run for president against Matt, just to get the satisfaction of beating him. This is immature and from most perspectives stupid, and I think she knew that. Nobody will vote for her, she isn't liked because of her promiscuity and being prone to acting-out (being drunk/high often) in class, etc. Also, she just straight-up admitted she has absolutely no interest in actually running the organization. She just wants to beat Matt. Ooookay. Well, today, Amy told me that Matt had talked to her and asked her to "encourage" me to step down and run for VP. Amy decided to tell me this with, again, a comically dramatic text that read "meet me in the stairwell of the science wing" where nobody goes, where I got to keep from bursting out laughing in her face as she sat close to me, with a jacket zipped down over quite deliberately shirtless skin, and told me that she wants to double-cross Matt. Have me run VP, support her in her Pres campaign, and work together to defeat Matt. Hm. As scary as it is that a young girl actually did this, her and I have hooked up before so I guess it isn't really that big of a deal but still like talk-to-a-counselor level of crazy and I'm still pretty concerned about it? :S So, you know, she told me exactly what Matt asked her to do and did exactly that, but pitched it as a double-cross against him. Idk. If you're saying "WTF, that makes no sense?!" yeah I'm with you. Even if she genuinely wanted to beat Matt, knowing she doesn't actually have a chance means she shouldn't be trying, let alone encouraging me to drop out of the race with boobs. I told her I'd think about it, and the next morning convinced her in a few texts that if we want to be partners then she should run for VP against the very easy opposition, and let me handle my campaign as president. She agreed, funnily enough, though I don't think it will be healthy for me to associate myself in any way with her for the race. We've been decent friends for a while actually, but if I could explain her personality and reputation, it's just no bueno. That's pretty much that. Weird, weird shit right?
Part Dos. Within 2 hours, from Amy conceding her campaign to the end of the school day today, I get a text from Matt saying "I have a deal for you, let's talk in the caf." We meet up and walk down to the caf, the whole time he's saying "I've got a deal that you can't refuse." I was 'dying,' as Amy might say. Anyway, we get there and he sits me down and explains the deal. He says, "you know I'm a little rich Jewish boy pabs, and well, I've got all the connections for West Point: you know, I've got two generals lined up to get my recommendations in for WP, I've got a colonel lined up, I've got my dad's business partners with a direct line to Senator Cory Booker. I'm gonna get into West Point like that." <Commence Pabs not being able to decide between rolling eyes and clenching fists. Pabs clenches eyes.> "I've set up my image as the guy who's going to West Point since day one freshman year. It's a great image, it's brought me much success. Well, my dad isn't letting me apply to West Point, and so I want to make you the deal of dropping out of the race for president, taking the VP spot, and in exchange I won't compete against you as another student applying to WP from this school." There has never been two kids from the same school admitted to the Academy, is his reasoning. If he drops out from applying, not that I have any way to ensure this, then I would be much more likely to get in. Well I threw some questions to him like "why does the Presidency matter to you then if not to help get into WP" and "wouldn't it be silly to drop your four-year dream for a single year doing intense amounts of completely arbitrary work" and so on. He wasn't really able to answer any of these questions. I told him I'll consider his offer and let him know tomorrow. I'm feeling a strong "No thanks" on that offer, but the fact of the matter is this: the galactic magnitude of bullshit I've had to experience in the course of these last two days has seriously made me reconsider some of the principles of human social behavior, which I thought could not be bent to allow such disastrous strangeness and stupidity. Oh well!
Like, ZOMG. For the record, my class: - got pregnant (4x) - committed suicide (3x) - got murdered (2x, but not until after graduation) - murdered (1x, not until well after graduation) - stabbed each other (1x, literally outside of class) - brought guns to school (one of my friends was very nearly shot by accident next to his locker) But this melodromatic Machiavelli mayhem? Yeah, we'da looked at each other and said "what are you, nine years old?" I didn't fully understand that all the classist bullshit they propagate on TV was real life for some people until I moved to LA. You? Apparently you go to Gossip Girl High. I mean, Dayum D00d. So two things: 1) High School is that halcyon age where children transition to adults while rubbing their genitals together and attempting inebriation via organic compounds otherwise unconsidered outside of prison. Not all people accomplish this at the same rate. It sounds as if you are surrounded by 7th graders that happen to be juniors. 2) Two years from now no one will give a shit about how you handle this except you. You are a self-aware, principled young man and if you do something you aren't proud of it'll bug you for a long time to come. Follow your conscience, you'll do fine. Oh, and take notes. 'cuz who knows? 10 years from now you might write this all up for Vanity Fair.
Man. I'm glad you wrote all this out. I think it would take me a similar number of words to describe the high school I went to, which was a charming, made-for-tv mashup of your experience and kb's. Think, like, Weeds season 1. Money, but also random pointless danger. Anyway, I'm never going to bother, so I enjoyed reading your story when you did.
Man, I wish people at my school got this into the government. I wanna play political games and build my chops getting my agenda passed, but no one else gives a shit, so I've written our Constitution and every piece of legislation ever passed, all of which passed unopposed. The closest I got to a political confrontation was a dude that repeatedly broke our laws refusing to leave our lunchroom (the only actual punishment we have), at which point I just talked to the head of high school and got him officially kicked out. Jealousy aside, has no one pointed out that Matt literally said ? So regardless of how his little 'deal' plays out, he's not gonna be competition. There is literally no reason for you to drop out of the race. Unless I'm misunderstanding?my dad isn't letting me apply to West Point
So regardless of how his little 'deal' plays out, he's not gonna be competition. There is literally no reason for you to drop out of the race.
ALTERNATE UNIVERSE Douchecanoe (DC): "Hey pabs, if you don't run for Pres, I won't apply to West Point!" pabs: "Oh well okay then!" shrugs / drops out of Pres election six months pass DC: "Oh hahaha! I won the student election, and I'm going to west point anyway! Look, I fucked you twice!" pabs: ".....oh." __________ Like c'mon dude, trust people a little less here. "Two houses, both alike in infamy, in fair Verona where we lay our scene..." except it's not Verona, it's high school, and it's a pissing contest, and whoever crushes the other most is the winningest. The whole point is Matt thinks he's smart and is trying to get Pabst to drop out for no verifiable reason. If Pabst does drop out, Matt can be lying (of course he wouldn't suggest this to Pabst, but if Pabst is smart he can see this) and Pabst won't even find out for months.
In re-reading, I see where the mis-communication was in this series of comments - I was pretty sure there had to be one, because what i was reading just wasn't making any sense. You're pointing out that Matt's suggested reason for Pabst dropping out is, as opposed to spurious, completely independent of the election; that it will happen whether Pabst agrees to drop out or not. So of course, Pabst wouldn't drop out. I hadn't considered that angle but it's extremely valid. I find it likely Matt is, well, a high school idiot, and probably made up this reason, and so Pabst should disregard the offer, but you're right as well. Sorry if I seemed testy, I just wasn't "getting" it.
WTF!? Also, is everyone else in your school blind? If Matt's a cheater that beats his girlfriends with such shady morals like you describe, how can he still be so popular? I mean, maybe he's fun to hang out with or stuff but definitely not trustworthy... Is he that good at hiding it? Agreed with Galen, he literally has no leverage to make you drop out and he's trying really hard because you have a high chance of winning. Go Pabs! Crush him. And let us all know how that goes.
For the third time now, I have found a white hair on my head that is brown at the root. I am Benjamin Button. Getting near completion of my second oil painting, a view from mike's camp on the fjord: I need to dial it all back a touch. Trying to figure out what to paint next. I'm not in love with this one, but it was more difficult than the last, and I learned some things.
In Iceland too, with an accent mark. I guess it's not a coincidence? I dunno. PS: I made a special map detailing the most beautiful section of road I have ever driven, for your reference. It's the green part.
I love it. Will you, at some point allow me to purchase one of your paintings? I'd love to have the artwork of one of my closest friends on my wall.... but I'd settle for yours.
I found one like that earlier too. White hair in your early 20s is a bad time. That's a beautiful painting, I'd imagine the view is even better in person (are there pictures around here of the camp? I feel like there are). What are you doing with your completed paintings?
Thanks. Here it is from above: Perhaps mike or steve can share some more. It's been a while since I was painting last. I have huge house paint on metal paintings in storage, of a very different style. My wife wouldn't let me part with my last oil one, and she hung it in our house. I'm not sure what to do. In some sense it'd be cool to create a stockpile so I can see my progress, then unload them at once. But I don't care too much one way or the other. It'd be kind cool to get this one in Norway.
I have steadily come to the conclusion that municipal incompetence is positively correlated with population size. For those of you who do not live in Los Angeles, know that the Los Angeles Department of Water and Power is routinely ranked among the worst organizations in the United States. During the Enron scandal they just sort of accepted that Hoover Dam, which they used to own, somehow wasn't producing enough electricity to light Los Angeles that summer so they accepted rates 5x over prime and rolling brown-outs. Meanwhile up in Washington, Enron tried this with the Snohomish Public Utilities Division. SnoPUD said "get bent" and called their congresswoman, who proceeded to launch the investigation into Enron that led to their eventual destruction and incarceration. Anyways. LADWP bought a new billing system from PriceWaterhouse Coopers in 2010. They rolled it out September 2013. Everything went worse than expected. This only matters to Your Narrator because we moved two doors down in September 2013. As a result, we had four power bills (they come every two months) that were pretty low. Not too surprising, really, as the climate around here is temperate enough that we have neither heat nor air conditioning (like, I know, right?). Not only that, but there are four lightbulbs in the entire house that aren't LED. It stood to reason that our power was 30% of what it was two doors down, where every light was a halogen (and there were dozens) and the fridge was so poorly installed that it burned out two coils in two years. Things got exciting when LADWP sent a "too bad, so sad" "correction" for $1300 one fine day. Facts LADWP has copped to, in writing: 1) No, my power usage shouldn't be substantially the same (as in, within 5% over a 2 month bill) with LEDs as with halogens 2) No, they didn't read my meter before I moved in 3) Yes, it's entirely possible that they're hitting me with a "correction" that accounts for underbilling against the previous tenant 4) Yes, they did charge $1300 worth of power at peak rates for one month because their new system isn't smart enough to recalculate any other way 5) Yes, that's probably illegal 6) Yes, I'm entitled to actually have LADWP come out and check this over with me (their nearest field office is, I shit you not, across the street). However, they instead gave my account back to accounting who actually increased the numbers. Yes, the fact that LADWP has quoted me three different sets of numbers is troubling. 7) No, I shouldn't pay that heinous $1300 overcharge (now $1325 overcharge) until this is all sorted out. That's where we were from March 2014 up until two days ago, when they told me they were turning off my power in six days if I didn't cough up $900. Here's where things get mind-blowing: It took half an hour on hold to get to someone (actually, that's not mind-blowing - that's LADWP). Then it took talking to him for half an hour before he said "there's nothing we can do but put you on a payment plan." Then it took talking to his supervisor for half an hour before she said "there's nothing we can do but put you on a payment plan" (while also helpfully telling me that some appliances such as refrigerators use a lot of power). Then it took another half an hour to get a supervisor to explain "Yeah, we haven't sorted this stuff out yet but our policy has changed and now we're turning off people's power because we've been incapable of straightening out our fuckups in twelve months and we're tired of waiting." So I'm on a payment plan to give LADWP an extra $50 a month that they extorted out of me illegally because they're too incompetent to read meters. NONE OF THIS SHIT ever happened outside of LA. On the plus side, there are two class-action lawsuits against LADWP right now for this very issue, alleging that the LADWP has no fucking clue what they're doing and gouging customers because they're completely strapped for cash. On the double-plus side, LADWP is suing PWC alleging that the LADWP has no fucking clue what they're doing and is completely strapped for cash because it's someone else's fault. So discovery is gonna be pretty awesome. And hey. There's an apartment building in the valley that got hit for 900 gallons of water use per day per tenant. Their average use, over the previous ten years, was 70 gallons a day. The best part about this is after two hours on the phone I then had to spend an hour and a half on the phone AGAIN discovering that because my union is run by jackasses, every time I make an emergency room visit UCLA medical center is allowed to send me two identical bills and I'm required to pay them both. So yesterday was double-plus productive, lemme tell ya.
I don't remember where I first read this, just a few days ago, and it may've been here most likely, but this is an interview with an author whose most recent book's topic is insanely germane to your post -- a ridiculous example of beuracratic ineptitude. The author also wrote Debt: A 5000 Year History which I know you've added to your list to read.
Meh. People make big noises about food in LA but it's mostly just pretentious and expensive. I paid six bucks for a piece of apple streudel that Little Debbie would be ashamed of two weeks ago. LA is the only place where I can name seven pizza places that will charge me $30 for something roughly the caliber of Red Baron.
In Heaven: the cooks are French, the policemen are English, the mechanics are German, the lovers are Italian and the bankers are Swiss.
In Hell: the cooks are English, the policemen are German, the mechanics are French, the lovers are Swiss and the bankers are Italian.
Quit one job, starting another while deciding which school to go to in the fall. I have the opportunity to go to a really amazing conflict resolution program that's really interested in me, or an organizational psych program at an Ivy League that seems to want me. Not really sure what to do. I kind of feel like I could have gotten away with applying to an MFA program as well, but why make my life complicated?
I'm in a pickle. I have this thing, I'm not sure what to call it, where I hate being hated. To be more specific, I hate being hated or profoundly and repeatedly misunderstood, particularly by someone who I am constantly around. My new job in Detroit seemed like a dream job: after a year of service with AmeriCorps where I served as a team leader with projects all across the upper midwest, I landed a job with an organization I served where I will be acting as a project manager and liaison for another AmeriCorps team. Yay! What a cool thing, to use my knowledge of the program, what being on a team is like, and knowing what Detroit is like and what the organization will expect, all for the team's benefit. I'll even be making (a little) money this time, too! What could possibly go wrong? Well, this new team leader is a stone cold bitch. To say it a little more objectively, she refuses to communicate with me unless I hunt her down, and even then it's begrudging and curt and I'm made to feel like I'm inconveniencing her with my very existence. She accuses me of power tripping and treating her team like they're "slow children" when I teach them how to paint properly. I've tried having conversations with her where I try to get to know her better, explain where I'm coming from, make myself available to her as a resource in anyway, I respect her authority over her team entirely, and so far, I haven't gotten anywhere except a crazy tense environment where we're merely tolerating each other, and I feel terrified of doing something that could in any way be construed as... I don't know, ammunition for her to complain up the rank about me.
I fucking hate it. I dread my day. Normally, I'd be content to let the universe teach her a lesson and be on my merry way. Yet I'm very well stuck in this situation. The organization really needs the team's assistance, as well as me to direct and coordinate the work. There's another 6 weeks left. There's no way I can "fire" her, they're volunteers, and plus I don't think that's really a solution. I just don't know what to do. And I hate being irrationally misunderstood and despised. So pubski, *clinks glass* hope you're day's been better.
I spent the day with my boss, wondering if tomorrow I'd be the guy that was next on the "ax" list. I'm not. But I have had weeks of wondering. I'm not out of the woods by any stretch, but I have at least another few months of safety. This is no way to exist though. As per your problem, I feel for you. There really is only one solution for such things and it's communication. Usually, this would entail a third party as witness. Sit down with her and in a calm, thoughtful and genuine way explain how she is making you feel. Let her know that you want nothing more than to work together and ask how you could be a better teammate. -Having a third party there is paramount. DO NOT DO THIS WITHOUT SOMEONE ELSE PRESENT THAT HAS NO "skin" in the game. Better yet someone that outranks you both. Good luck!
I probably should have such a meeting. I reread my earlier post, and something struck me as so obvious in my own writing that I have to highlight it: I am the part of the universe teaching her a lesson, or I very well could be. I have to stick it out. Duh. Hopefully this is one of those situations where you look back and everything worked out just the way it needed to. Because despite my immediate desire to see her outed as insecure and paranoid, have her squirm under the weight of my common sense position... I still most want this to end happily for the both of us.Normally, I'd be content to let the universe teach her a lesson and be on my merry way. Yet I'm very well stuck in this situation.
The Cons - Found out I have an extra grand tacked on to this semesters already sky high expenses. In a few minutes I'm going to battle with student accounts, and probably financial aid after that. I was told back in January that there would be a small payment due in March, and another in April. I talk to student accounts, they tell me the figure is 3-4 times what I was told back in January, and conveniently nobody seems to have any record of who I spoke to when setting up my finances for the semester. I just want to do my work and be done :[ The Pros - Through a series of coincidences that I can scarcely believe, I am talking to the Chief of Cardiovascular Research (Also my cardiologist) tomorrow about the budget for their next research cycle, because she wants me to fill a position that's opening up in her administrative/patient-wrangling team, and wants to make sure we are on the same page about finances. I have my other job offer on standby if things really go belly-up, but it seriously looks like I've got the dream job, rather than one that just pays a (Barely) living wage. I'll actually have a chance to make a direct difference in the lives of people with my disease, and really help in the investigation of treatment and possible cures! I'm going apartment hunting on Saturday with my special ladyfriend and so far I've managed to find at least 3 places that I would be very happy living for a few years, all within a 20 minute commute too! I'm stupidly over-prepared for my epidemiology exam tomorrow, and I'm finding it hard to stress about academics, because I'm already so far ahead. 18 DAYS UNTIL I PERFORM AT CARNEGIE HALL! I ONLY STARTED REALLY SINGING 5 YEARS AGO! I'VE NEVER BEEN TO NEW YORK BEFORE! AHHHHHHHHHHHH! Edit* Just got done with student accounts and everything. Got this semester all paid up with only a small penalty. So I guess now I only have good news!
some drunk assclown hit my parked car on my birthday so now i have to deal with that
We actually may have found a lead thanks to a redditor with a car matching the description. We also have a camera at the intersection that very well may have caught him, but trying to access it is... complicated. However, if he is caught, there will be no mercy on his soul in the hell of courts he will be put through.
it was a hit and run so i only have a scrap of paneling as a lead right now. but someone on reddit did see an acura with a fucked up right bumper (i was struck on the left) and he was able to give me the location he spotted it, so i will try to get the officer i am working with to get the tapes from that night to pull a license number
Oh. Lame. Good luck with that. If nothing has happened within 72 hours, the best thing may be to work with your insurance company and take the hit, then try and recoup your deductible if things ever shake loose. Is your insurance company aware at this point? 'cuz they generally like to know this stuff as soon as possible. When some (similar) assclown swatted my ass across four lanes of the 405, I called my insurance company. They said "it's to your advantage to not get us involved unless you really have to." So I never filed a claim with them but they were still helpful.
of course. called them right away. car is heading to the body shop today so i should have an estimate on the damage soon (bracing for impact -- i can post pics of the carnage if you like).
Encounter with the Universe Part 4 Yesterday I met my cousin for a coffee. He lives in Tokyo and visits Toronto once or twice a year. After, he said he’d walk me to my streetcar stop. Instead of crossing the wide, busy street to the closest stop, we decided, non-intuitively, to turn onto College Street and walk a few blocks up to a further stop. There on the sidewalk was a bright crisp $20 bill. I looked around. The sidewalk was somehow free of pedestrians in both directions. No one was frantically retracing her steps, eyes to the ground. Traffic moved blithely on. I felt a pang of sorrow for the person who had dropped it. The previous day, I had dropped a favourite suede glove in a drugstore. I retraced my steps over and over again, but couldn’t find it. Now here was a $20 bill at my feet. I picked it up and put it in my pocket. And it is still in my pocket. I just checked craigslist lost and found wondering if I should post a message: Found, $20 cash. Call xxx-xxxx. Spousal unit said to break it into small bills and give it to homeless people. Hubski, what would you do?
Myself and two friends once found a $20 on the ground in a similar fashion. We spent $17 on ice cream sundaes, $1 in quarters on toys from a vending machine, and $2 on two scratch and win tickets. One we scratched off and got nothing, the other we put, unscratched, in the exact same spot as where we found the $20.
hmmm, maybe someone is playing it forward by leaving the $20 for me. Next time I'm at a drivethrough (we have a lot of those in Kanada), I'll pay for the person behind me... particularly if from my rearview window, it looks like a distraught parent with screaming kids.
So glad to hear that -- and to have you call me on binary thinking. Bravo! Note: Random readers, OftenBen is referring to an intense previous post.
I've been lucky enough to find money three times: a 20, a 20, and a Benji. I found the 100 when I was 12 years old. I don't have a fucking clue what I spent it on, but in the fascist state of my father's household at the time, $100 was, what I came to find out later, what my mother was allowed to use to raise us with per week. So it was a windfall for me. I think I bought lunch for myself and my friends for the first time in my life.
I found a diamond ring in a parking lot once. It was outside a fairly romantic restaurant. I envisioned all sorts of horrific scenarios where someone lost this heirloom. I put up signs all over the building, left my name with the restaurant. Never got a call. I gave it two months. Then I took it to a jeweler at the mall. They ran it through the ultrasonic cleaner and put it in their conductivity meter. Yeah, Moissanite or CZ. The scenarios in my head changed tenor. I listed it on eBay and included the story of its provenance. Think I made $250 off it or something. All in all, pretty dope.
Buy food. If you wanted to be noble about it, donate it to something you care about. I don't much see the point.
IN DREAM-WORLD I get the email from McNeese. Congrats! I'm in. It comes through on my work email. I have meetings in half an hour, three hours. Do I care? No. I can't stop grinning as I shut down the computer and walk out without a word to anyone. In the stairs, I cry for a few seconds (12 tears, tops) but purely from joy, and wipe them away before I walk out the lobby. One must be proud. As I get into my car in the parking garage I pull out my phone, open my work email app. Because this is DREAM-WORLD, not real life, I don't email my supervisors telling them I'm sick. I don't do anything at all. FUKKKKUM. Fuck that job, fuck that place, fuck those expectations, fuck everything they think I'm good at that I'm pulling out of my ass or doing on auto-pilot. Instead, I re-read the email from McNeese. By god! What does it say here that I didn't read before? "DEAR E. H. BROGAN, WE ARE ECSTATIC TO WELCOME YOU INTO THIS PROGRAM WITH OPEN ARMS. IN FACT, YOU ARE OUR ONLY POETRY STUDENT ACCEPTED THIS YEAR. IN LIEU OF OTHER STUDENTS, WE HAVE OPTED TO PUT THE NOW-AVAILABLE FUNDING AT YOUR DISPOSAL. PLEASE FEEL FREE TO USE THE NEWLY FREED MONIES (APPROX 100K)TO HIRE YOUR DREAM FACULTY. WE'RE JUST THAT HONORED TO HAVE YOU. THANKS AGAIN FOR EVEN APPLYING! WE'RE ONLY THE TOP 40TH SCHOOL SO WE'RE THRILLED. LOVE, WHOEVER YOU WANT US TO BE." I start coming up with lists. I wonder if they will let me hire Kendrick?
This dream keeps going, guys. For a brief blow-by-blow, I: - get into McNeese - scrap the part about hiring people, that's just ridiculous, but I DO - give adequate (6-8 weeks) notice at my job but quit - find gainful summer employment, slash work at my bar, slash HAHAHA BITCHES I GOT SAVINGS I'LL JUST VOLUNTEER AT AN ARTS CAMP ALL SUMMER - find a sublet for real cheap and move out of my parents just for temps/the summer - go to grad school in the fall and it's the best thing ever
I haven't been on Hubski recently, but things have really slowed down for me, and I'm just not busy enough to procrastinate on the internet too much! I've been spending lots of time outside, lots of time with my girlfriend, and just enjoying life a little :) Had my wisdom teeth removed two weeks ago and did some pretty embarrassing stuff, but nothing damaging. I've been getting things in line for college, and I think I've got a decent amount of scholarship money to handle expenses with. Semi-related, I've been planning an urban-exploration type excursion into some abandoned buildings, would there be interest in seeing that process documented? I always like looking at those types of adventures, so I just thought I'd ask.
I would love to see it! I like Urbex too, it's just a bit hard to find spots sometimes because people in the community are really secretive. And I really need an exploring buddy, i think my boyfriend is getting tired of getting roped into this stuff. I've posted a bit on hubski before about it: https://hubski.com/pub?id=120050 https://hubski.com/pub?id=149280 I've been to more places since then (some a bit more extreme, teufelsberg is cool but it's basically a museum no adrenaline invoved) but I've not been able to take lots of pictures. Anyway, 100% interested in you documenting it. Tag me when get around doing it.
I will! Actually, I have some photos of a cave exploration I did near my house. I'll upload those if I can track them down--the cave is really cool, it's right in the middle of an industrial park, and you have to shimmy through about 100 feet of tunnel on your belly to get into it (not for the claustrophobic), but it's all dug out sandstone. Again, if I can find the pictures, I'll upload them!
Oh shit you guys, it just got real! Started advertising my senior project today-- check it. (Background image credit to Hans Kylberg on Flickr, some rights reserved.) I'm actually really excited for this, in contrast with literally everything else that I'll be doing for the next 2 months. So at least I have that ray of light, right? Also the whole college thing I guess In other news, my romantic situation has reached relative stability, sort of. I have learned (by way of a couple friends) that the girl I'm interested in isn't interested in a relationship, and mostly everyone's advising me to leave that shit alone. So I've been continuing to flirt with her, enjoy her company, etc., and nothing more. I do, however, have one friend that's urging me to tell her how I feel-- I'm inclined to take his advice because my feelings have given rise to the foolish and unfounded hope that somehow we'll end up together again in spite of her current position. I can't say why he wants me to do it, and apparently neither can he, but that influence is difficult to ignore. Overall I just can't figure out what the right thing to do is; I waffle back and forth between thinking that I should, because the only reason I don't want to is cowardice, and that I shouldn't, because the only reason I do want to is blind wishful thinking. I thought paying attention to cognitive biases would help me avoid irrational actions, but as it turns out any decision I could make (at least in this situation) could be informed by shitty 'reasoning'. GAH
Alright. So I'm going to attempt to be real without telling you to go out and rape. Let's see how that goes. (it's only 3am). Girls like...certain guys. Call them the assholes or whatever. Say "girls don't like nice guys". It's not exactly that but it's what those statements are talking about. There are just some guys that I wouldn't ever be sexually or emotionally/relationshippy interested in. Yes they can be the nicest guy. Yes they can have everything I would ever want. But there has got to be some sexual chemistry. And I don't mean sexual as in literal penis in vagina sex sex. Just like...sexual in nature. Whenever I hear the words "tell her my true feelings", I cringe. No guy has ever told me his "true feelings" until waaay later. There isn't like a couch scene where you watch a movie and then go "hey I like you" and then you live happily ever after. That is only going to result in awkwardness and force both of you to acknowledge the elephant in the room. In fact, I would argue that if any guy I ever dated or slept with had started with "hey I want to tell you something...I like you", I would not have dated or fucked him. You know you like her. Trust me, she knows you like her. If the sexual relationship emotional shit isn't there, then it simply isn't there. You can't force it and trust me, even if you could, you wouldn't want it. Relationships and hook ups and all that fun stuff is only fun stuff when it happens naturally. Furthermore, that "interested in a relationship" line is bullshit. Ignore it...sort of. I have used that phrase so many damn times when I wasn't interested in a guy. However, I have never gotten into a relationship when I wanted one. I have always unanimously (me, my heart, my brain, and my lady-bits that is) decided that relationships are bad and there are better things to spend my time and energy on. But I find myself in them anyways and, for the most part, it's been pretty great. So, she could be saying "yo, I'm not interested in him" or "yo, this isn't the time or place for a relationship but if something good enough pops up unexpectedly I'll probably forget I said that." So here's my advice: 1. Leave that shit alone. It isn't worth it. You are going to look back on this and laugh one day. Trust me. Fully expecting you not to do that.... 2. Stop playing the friend game. Don't be mean to her and don't ignore her outright. Simply stop chasing her for a week. Fuck the words. Fuck the over-thinking. Don't call her. Don't text her. Don't snapchat her a picture of your dick or whatever you kids are doing these days. See what she does. My current boyfriend chased me for like 3 weeks and I spontaneously replied to his texts and occasionally our free time lined up and we got to see each other. I wasn't that interested and I was really fucking busy and quitting my job and stuff. I had higher priorities. But the second my phone stopped buzzing ever morning, noon, and night... I texted him. I texted him because I missed talking with him and because I no longer took it for granted that he would text me. 3. Now, if she starts hitting you up, that's a good sign. If she doesn't -> #1. 4. Assuming you are either ignoring #3's direction to go to #1 or she's hitting you up...play it cool. Be responsive. Be nice. Forget to respond to a text or something. I don't know. Stop making her feel like she's the center of your universe for a second. I truly hate saying this because it can be so misconstrued as the "girls only like assholes" but here it goes anyways: I have never wanted to be with a guy when I was the center of his universe. Even when I'm in a relationship. I am fully aware how central I am/was to my boyfriend / ex's lives. But knowing a guy has better things to do than attempt to stick his stick in me is probably one of the biggest turn ons. It means he has found one thing more interesting than sex and that makes him much more interesting. 5. This is the hardest part. You must now force her...without forcing her literally....to get out of friend mode and into something more mode. Usually, I would suggest a nice alcoholic evening and dancing but that doesn't seem to be your style. So instead find something to do...like really do....and ask her to do it with you. And don't fucking take the pussy way out and go, "I got tickets for me and my friend and my friend bailed...wanna go?" But straight up and say, "Would you want to go to this show with me?" Now she knows there is a show. And she knows you want to go with her. If she says no...she #1. If she makes an excuse (I'm busy that day), see #1. If she says yes....then report back and I'll figure out how the fuck all that above shit worked and give you more advice. If you think her excuse is really valid, you can report back too. But I'll probably direct you to #1 anyways. As for things to do...fuck the movies or anything where you can't talk. Shows really aren't that great as first dates but they work because you typically have a long drive and time in between sets. Fuck dinner because it's way too boring. Look for things like going to the beach (although that's easy to turn into a bunch of friends instead of the two of you) or going to an art show or something where you can engage, talk, and have things to talk about. That's another problem with dinner. There is literally nothing to talk about unless you are fabulous at small talk or happen to converse really, really well with each other. PS: Also, I know the above was a lot of fucking and sex and stuff but it's all the same, regardless of whether you are trying to get with her or get with her. Even if you don't have sex, plan on having sex, it's still a sexual dance and human nature and stuff. PSS: I am giving this advise solely on my understanding of the situation from this one post. Sorry if I missed some key detail last week that would make all that advice not apply. Link me to some backstory comments - you don't have to explain why I'm wrong. ;) PSSS: Nothing. About. Sex. Or. Girls. Will. Ever. Be. Rational. So. Stop. Thinking. So. Damn. Much. ;)
Hey galen,
So I'm going to go of insomniasexx post here and elaborate a bit from my side of it because she asked me to and I know the way to that girl's heart and can tell you from the way you are attacking the situation you're running on the borderline of completely losing any way to gain any control of the situation back. First, let's take the solid advice: "Girls like...certain guys. Call them the assholes or whatever. Say "girls don't like nice guys". It's not exactly that but it's what those statements are talking about. There are just some guys that I wouldn't ever be sexually or emotionally/relationshippy interested in. Yes they can be the nicest guy. Yes they can have everything I would ever want. But there has got to be some sexual chemistry. And I don't mean sexual as in literal penis in vagina sex sex. Just like...sexual in nature." Girls like nice guys, but they don't want to be approached in a way that emphasizes this. Nice guys don't make a girl feel safe, I know this seems totally backwards but deep down psychologically, guys that come off as nice when you meet in a social situation seem like the guys that would not stand up confidently for you or be able to protect anything. Here's something on it: "They (nice guys) make women question if they’re someone we can rely on to protect us. Even the most independent and self-sufficient woman wants to be with someone who, at the end of the day, makes her feel safe to be with. We want someone who can protect us if we need it. We want to know if some guy is talking shit to us our boyfriend is going to be there to help us out." A girl wants to know you have a life and value your own time. So when, from the get go, you're into them 100% it's almost creepy, like what the fuck do you do with your time regularly? It doesn't really make any sense, but no one wants someone who is crazy into them and will do anything to be with them at first. Don't get me wrong that girl that didn't want you to come on that strongly will want every bit of that later on. And the nice guy you were showing off, she'll want that too, but only after she decides your what she wants, and she will let you know so don't try to rush or force that shit. "Furthermore, that "interested in a relationship" line is bullshit. Ignore it...sort of. I have used that phrase so many damn times when I wasn't interested in a guy. However, I have never gotten into a relationship when I wanted one. I have always unanimously (me, my heart, my brain, and my lady-bits that is) decided that relationships are bad and there are better things to spend my time and energy on. But I find myself in them anyways and, for the most part, it's been pretty great." This is 100% accurate, this is what insom told me when I first started to feel like that was the route I wanted to go with her, I had to work for that shit, and I am very glad I did. She has been very much worth it. The rest of the stuff in her post is subjective and will not work 50+% of the time, and it sucks to find out sometimes that the girl just really isn't interested which is what you may or may not get with insomnia's numbered advice. In my opinion, you need to ignore that girl. Don't be mean, you'll fuck everything up. But get away from it. Make your time seem valuable/desirable, have stuff to do. Be busy, go live life there's a lot of it when you're younger you will not get the opportunity to continue later. Take your time responding to her, make it so that she is on your time until she decides to give you some of her own. Assert confidence. Girl's need this, you being at her beck and call whenever she feels like it when you're not even at the relationship interest point just shows her that there is nothing more to be had or desired from you, because you are already giving her every thing she asks for. She hasn't had to reciprocate or put out any of herself for any of this from you, you're freely giving it because you like her which is awesome and nice and all, but also totally friend zone material. You have to make her want to/feel like its worth putting herself into you to get these things back from you. I'm kind of over writing anymore as posts like this aren't usually my steez but Insom thinks I should post how I managed to get her number/address the first time we met because it's hilarious and rediculous and it kind of shows a lot of the oddities about what works when approaching a girl you're interested in.
You mean the rom-coms lied to me? Gasp! Anyway yeah I got backstory for days. But these 3 conversations should give you the basics (in chronological order): https://hubski.com/pub?id=169939 https://hubski.com/pub?id=174079 https://hubski.com/pub?id=209139 I guess if you want I can dredge up some in-between stuff, but that's basically it. Looking back through, wow I have seriously overthought this. Thanks for being the one to point that out, because Jesus, past galen. I'm gonna take your advice. But actually. Not like all the times I've said that and not. Seriously, I will. I'm saying this so it'll be embarrassing if I don't so I will. I will also report back next week. Also thanks for taking the time to listen to my bullshit teenage problems and then advise me. The hubsquad are really good at that and I always forget to mention it.
Fuck it, dude. Do what feels right to you. Not that insomniasexx and _refugee_ aren't giving you objectively good advice, but there's nothing like learning on your own how to act successfully and unsuccessfully. You can read a whole manual on how to fly a plane, but in the end, you need the hours in the cockpit, if you catch my drift.
Agreed - my sister is 20 going on 21 and she wants to talk about her relationship problems all the time. And I sit, and try to listen, because that's what she wants me to do, and not tell her what to do, because the fact of the matter is that even though my advice might be right, or save her from heartbreak or assholes or whatever, she is not going to do anything sensical until she learns that everything she's trying right now doesn't work first hand. So go on and do whatever you want and make mistakes - I think people have to in order to learn lessons - but damn if I'm not going to be like "Dude, seriously? Seriously? I told you this - unhelpful as it may be! - a few months down the road.
I agree with insom's advice regarding the way to play things well. However, my advice would be to take a break from her (don't be rude, just don't engage more than you need to to remain responsive and polite), and take a couple of weeks for galen time. Hang out with other folk you enjoy, and work on a project that you've been wanting to. Take a overnight or weekend trip somewhere if you can. Whenever you start putting a lot of effort into trying to figure someone else out, you'd probably get better returns getting to better know yourself.
You and I have talked about this girl. I basically completely agree with everything insom has said. 1) Things never need to be declared out loud. Being declared out loud forces people to confront situations that they already know about and don't want to confront. This is why, despite the fact that yes, I had an obscene crush on a bartender for 6 months, I never sat him down and was like "I like you." He knew. I knew. We all fucking knew. To the extent that multiple, random, mutual friends of ours have been subtly comforting me about the fact that the interaction didn't turn out. TRUST ME. EVERYONE KNOWS. I have been told "keep my head up," I'm "marriage material," etc., etc., recently. Which is really just super amusing and also very kind of these mutual friends. People have invited me to hang out at other places besides the bar if I don't want to hang out at the bar. Everyone knows your shit. Especially this girl. She knows your shit. 2) "I don't want to be in a relationship" means "I don't want to be in a relationship with you." This is why people tell this line to other people, regardless of gender, and then piss the original people off by ending up in a relationship with a different person 3 weeks later. (Happens most in high school.) If you don't inspire this girl to want to be in a relationship, she doesn't. 3) Just go back and reread insom's post, like got damn. 4) I'm sorry, this is brutal, but this girl isn't interested in you. She hasn't been, and she's not going to be. Face it, galen! Find someone worth your time, aka someone who sees you for the awesome brilliant person that you are and loves every nanosecond of it.
Everyone is right. insomniasexx is right that you need to disengage and make her realize what she had. mk is right that you should take some time for yourself. b_b is right that some things you have to learn for yourself. I'll tell you this, I was friend-zoned many times as a young man and if I knew then what I know now, it wouldn't have been so. Listen to insom's advice, it's really good. Also, you may consider the D.E.N.N.I.S System:
also @grubski can your next thing be eggs because i refer to hubski as "hubscramble" in meatspace and i think that would be fun thenewgreen mk @idk who else
This week I've started hunting down people to interview for my thesis. Found four good leads, two of which already responded. One of those two is from a huge car company who have invited me to their European research HQ! I also went to a nice pubquiz this Sunday. Our small team made it to the top 10 (out of 25 teams), so that went well. Maybe it's something for Pubski as well?
Congrats on the invite, that sounds like a great opportunity to do some networking and get good information for your thesis. Pub quizzes are the best, been going to one around here regularly for months now.
Update: came in 4th out of 19 tonight. Not bad for Geeks Who Drink trivia.
Operation Rebuild My Wardrobe is going well. Almost done with it for the time being. Lotsa business casual leaning things. Still looking at apartments. Still feeling like I'm way too early to actually find something available in July. Still trying to figure out how much of my student debt I want to pay off each month.
Looking for places is a cut-throat endeavour, we found. We recently signed a rental agreement for a new place after looking for a while. My wife called within 10 minutes of the post going up and she was the second person to call. We've found that a lot of people tend to put up listings near the beginning of the month and the good ones go quick.
Definitely noticing that, you must be in one of the real estate bubbles for things to be going that fast, right? The trickiest part is that I can't actually visit any of these apartments in person prior to moving in because they're thousands of miles away.
Had the longest day, wife worked late because her studio is in crunch time, when we got back to our car the battery had died, and when we got home it was already midnight. Thankfully we had friends who lived relatively close (20ish minutes away). Commuting is hell.