Got extra sleep without being late to class, got an extra empanada from a cute gal at my favorite cafe. Today's looking dandy and shiny down here in CFL. I have more material prepared for my long overdue (by my own dating) talk religion post on law with regard to religion.
Just a good lookin' humpday.
'Evening Pubski. Double TC Whiskey on the rocks for me.
Spent most of yesterday and all day today in Chicago surrounded by a bevy of cool folks. Cardiovascular patients, some my age, some older. Some almost asymptomatic, some being considered for transplant. Research managers with almost a century of combined experience taking novel medications from theory to market. I don't have enough good things to say about the whole experience and everyone involved.
The patients were a really awesome group. We were able to really listen to each other and build on each others experiences. It honestly reminded me of a really good improv game in some ways. 'Yes, And!' seemed to be our natural flow. We were able to disagree and state conflicting opinions and perspectives without disrespect or ill feeling. And the whole two day conversation was punctuated by courageously honest accounts of amazing successes and heartbreaking failure. (No pun intended.) I went out for a beer with one of the guys around my age last evening and we were finishing each other's sentences after only knowing each other for a few hours. It was the most validating thing to hear someone else saying 'Man, I just hate it when someone says "You don't look sick!"' among other things. He'd recently gone through a breakup and we commiserated about the single life and flirted with waitresses like we'd been friends for years.
The research managers and other pharma-staff were a pleasure to work with. They all seemed genuinely interested in improving quality of life for patients, and as more than just a professional interest. The PharmD that was facilitating the general discussion and the breakout sessions I was involved in was great. She was insightful, incisive, and managed our talks with an easy equanimity. She ensured that when there was a disagreement, both sides were able to fully articulate their arguments, find where they could agree, and address what might be the cause of ongoing disagreement.
I was also subtly but not-so-subtly offered a job, in a few years. "So, it's probably going to be another funding cycle before we get this drug out of phase one. Hopefully, the next generation of clinical trial managers will be ready to take over the on-site work by the time we are heading in that direction. You're getting your MPH, right Ben?''
That's awesome dude. What a great few days that sounds like. And Chicago is always good for a visit.
Thanks! It was both really fun and really productive. It's nice to see that there's a pharmaceutical company out there that's composed of actual, engaged people who care, rather than profit-over-everything sleezeballs. Maybe time will tell a different story, but if i'm that bad a judge of character, I'd be sorely disappointed.
I'm heavily considering pulling the trigger on my tattoo idea today. This specific idea has been kicking around in my head for over a year now, a tattoo in general for years longer. Last night was my dad's birthday and a best friend of mine decided to get my father's beard tattooed under her bottom thumb knuckle in honor of him being her father figure since she was 8. She's getting it today. I told her about my idea, for the nth time, and she said to get it with her tomorrow (today). I said I really freakin' should.
Well tomorrow is today and when is the day gonna be perfect? Here's the general idea. Yes, I love onions.
I remember you talking about this! I say, do it!
I'm currently contemplating a "Babe" in vintage t-shirt script on my right arm between my macaroni and my mandelbrot, (what m-term can I give "babe" to make it fit in??), and a giraffe in my cleavage, which I think is going to be hilarious.
Yeah, basically! I had been wanting a giraffe tattoo for a while, and originally going to place it on my left upper arm. But then I was thinking about sternum tattoos and how some of my favorite tattoos on other people have been sternums, and I was like "Hey! What a great spot for my giraffe!" and then my girl pointed out that it would mean my giraffe's head would be poking out of my shirts/cleavage, which we agreed would be hilarious, so I am pretty sure that is where it is going!
I've had an abiding love for onions since I can remember first eating them, preferably red but whites and yellows are great, too. They're a favorite food and ingredient. I really like the design, because it's almost geometric though it's of an organic material, but it's mainly because I love the food. Always have, always will. I'm thinking of inner bicep as the location, since it's the first ink and I feel the urge to be somewhat inhibited. But I've also considered forearm and chest.
Raw onions in salads. Sauted onions before every breakfast meal. Roasted onions the way my papa cooks them (he's an amazing amateur chef who hails from Russia, so it's dill and garlic and onions everywhere). As for the hardy har onion dishes that I'm sure rd95 wants to hear about, I'll indulge him: onions and cream cheese (like little dipping scoops), onions and peanut butter, onions bitten into like an apple. Only one of these was on a dare.
Whenever I chop onions, I always pop in a few chopped pieces. Yes, I'm an ogre.
Shrek: Ogres are like onions.
Donkey: They stink?
Shrek: Yes -- No!
Donkey: Oh, they make you cry.
Shrek: No.
Donkey: Oh, you leave em out in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin’ little white hairs.
Shrek: No. Layers. Onions have layers. Ogres have layers. Onions have layers. You get it? We both have layers.
Donkey: Oh, you both have layers. Oh. You know, not everybody like onions.
Um. They go really good with deli meats, especially bologna, ham, or turkey, and compliment mayo and lettuce really well. I'm not a fan of tomatoes, so I don't know how well the two go together. That said, they're absolute heaven with fish patty sandwiches, especially salmon or cod. Sadly, I've pretty much all but cut seafood out of my diet because I have a hard time reconciling eating food that comes from such an environmentally harmful industry. I haven't had a fish sandwich in over a year. Talking about it makes me want one. :(
To give you some idea of what they taste like, my wife pickles red onions with red wine vinnegar, water, sugar, bay leaves, and regular pickling spices.
I've always wanted to get into pickeling, but I have an irrationally deep fear of botulism. I'll happily eat homemade pickles, but have a block about trying to do them myself. I miss out on so many good veggies from the farmer's market because I was too afraid to try and can them.
Dented tin cans also sketch me out.
I rented a hotel room for four days and did nothing but drink. I only ate once because they told me I had to let housekeeping in. The day I was about to leave I remember drinking a beer and some vodka around six in the morning. The next thing I remember I was strapped to a hospital gurney. They put me in a room unsupervised and unstrapped so I left. I couldn't find my car and I'm still not sure how I got there. I took the IV needle out of my arm and walked to the gas station to get cigarettes and Gatorade. When I left the gas station there were three cops waiting for me because the hospital called 911. They arrested me for public intoxication.
In holding I started to have withdrawals. It took about a day for the police to transfer me to the medical unit where I got ativan, valium and a saline drip. Holding sucks. I'm still sore from lying on stainless steel benches and the floor. It really sucks when you're also shaking with cold sweats and haven't eaten in like three days.
I could have bonded out before the second holding cell but I didn't think I had the money and had no transportation anyway. I stayed there until I was released of my own recognicence after two days. I left the hospital because I have an aversion to being committed to hospitals but jail is so much worse. They have similarities though.
I just found out my car is still in the parking lot of the hotel but I don't know if my computer is still there. I guess it's better than if I drove somewhere random or had it impounded.
Keep your criticism to yourself. If there's one reason AA works, and I've never been one to admit it does, it's that other alcoholics would understand what I did. I also wanted to share because I never have any good Pubski stories.
Hotel benders are a cruel mistress. Been there, done that with very similar results. I don't need the details and I totally understand. I've woken up in hospitals and I've woken up in jail infimaries so all I have to say is thank Christ you didn't drive anywhere. I drove from NOLA to Atlanta one time with my tail between my legs in full DTs and it was a hell I'll not soon forget.
I don't want this to turn into r/cripplingalcoholism. I know you'll turn it around. Sometimes people gotta burn on both ends and work some shit out of our systems. Slow down before you burn out, swallow your pride, accept help if it's offered and "take it one day at a time" and all that crap. You'll be alright. Trust me, learn to halfway control yourself and shit WILL fall into place for the better.
Sabbatical. Self-imposed. Didn't want to be the rotten apple that spoils the bunch but I realized how much I needed this eutopia to dump my brain droppings.
I love this place. We're a steaming melting pot of perspectives. Small enough so the real losers out there don't bother to bother us. Anyways, I wouldn't expect many people here to understand the horror you're living right now but I do. Just wanted you to know you're not a special little snowflake.
You're online which means you're still coherent to reality which means you can still be SAVED, praise Heyzous! The worst is over man. Take your licks from Lady Justice and keep us in the know. Most of all take care of you. You want to bullshit privately I'm sure Hubski supports. I'm no rolemodel but I can definitely share stories and advice.
So when you buy a round-trip ticket and are unable to take the first half because someone moves your schedule, Alaska Airlines cancels your whole itinerary. Which means you wake up this morning wondering why you haven't been reminded to check in. Which you discover is because your reservation has been cancelled. Which is because rather than spend $125 to cancel your entire itinerary and buy a new round-trip for $180, you bought a one-way for $60. Which makes Alaska Airlines mad. But not mad enough to not knuckle the fuck under and reinstate your reservation when you bitch to a 1st tier manager. So even though you're 20,000 miles a year on the damn airline, have 200,000 miles saved up, have the fucking credit card and the skylounge membership and even fucking own shares, Alaska Airlines feels perfectly okay making you hate them for $60 that they didn't even end up claiming. Customer Service at its finest.
Last weekend was "Grandparents' day" or some shit. I use Postagram for texting old people, so I sent pictures of my daughter to my parents. This prompted an email from my father, which I responded to immediately, and then I called twice, and have received neither email nor call since. I have not spoken to my father on the phone in nine months. I think I've called him a dozen times. My mother, for her part, called me and asked if my daughter was afraid of me, because I'm scary. She then said that she hopes she dies before her husband because the only insurance she has is Medicare. I observed that there were millions of millenials that would kill for Medicare and she was dubious. She then reiterated that she hoped she died before her husband because otherwise she'd have to come live with me. I told her she'd probably like the weather at my sister's house better.
My commute made the news last week. I had to loop back a mile because the path was blocked by the coroner. Once I found the article I'm not sure why the coroner was there as nobody died. On the one hand, I hate the bikers on that fucking path and I'm about 70% certain they deserved it. On the other hand, I am cognizant of the fact that twice a day I ride a bike through an area where people are shot for their bicycles. Either way, the upshot is the increased police scrutiny appears to have scared off the deranged guy who chases me with a pool cue sometimes.
I mixed live-to-tape Monday, which is why I couldn't get on my flight. Apparently I mixed for six and a half million viewers.
My contractor has called three times in the past six hours to get me to go look at linoleum samples.
I have a flight back at 8pm, but unless Alaska Airlines figures out some other way to fuck me, I get six entire days home next week. I will likely spend it terminating CAT5. I have successfully saved about nine thousand dollars by configuring my own business phone system. By the bye, if you get a chance to give V-Tech money, do it. Their tech support will say cool things like "yeah, that's probably because the reed switch is stuck. Open up the back of the phone and be careful that these two pieces don't fall out. Now pull back the membrane and blast it with canned air" for phones you bought used off eBay.
I have seven extensions and two direct dial numbers for a bedroom in Los Angeles that I'd rather not call. There may come a time when it will actually do someone some good, but at the end of the day we live in a cell phone culture so if not for state regulations I wouldn't have even had to have bothered with any of it.
You reach the point where you're struggling not because you hope to win, not because you hope the struggle will end, but because struggling is all you remember. You reach the point where the successes don't matter because they were planned, but the failures drive you crazy because they're yet another example of something you didn't plan for. Victory is hollow and defeat is inevitable.
And expensive.
Now I have to take a shower so I can look at linoleum samples. I'm looking forward to my birthday because I can buy shampoo with double points. Until then, Tresemme, bitchez.
These are the victories by which we mark our lives.
- You reach the point where you're struggling not because you hope to win, not because you hope the struggle will end, but because struggling is all you remember.
How very Kafkaesque. I'll take note of your V-Tech recommendation.
Trying to make sure I have the fourteen papers I explicitly cite during my presentation down for this Friday. Nervous, but I've been getting some helpful (semi-backhanded compliments) like "the difference between your presentation now and last month is night and day."
Selected slides:
(Yes there is data, just none for Aim 2 from the summer unless today's last experiment works)
Spent 3 years in an AD lab and your slides are so much better than much of what I had to spend time not falling asleep to. (just reading the words PSEN1 is giving me flashbacks)
Small critique: on slide 4, try and group the different aspects together with similar colors so it's more intuitive to look at. ie., plaques and tangles two different hues of green, so you can parse the two, but, without looking back and forth between the key an timeline, get a feel for how they relate to the pathological symptoms. You did that with neuronal loss and synaptic loss, and those are easier to remember than the others. I would put those next to each other in the key, and make LTP/LTD a "redder" more "danger" color like cognitive decline. (and help people understand just how wacky the animal models really are)
Totally let us know when you've published, I'm a bit out-of-date in AD, but I still try to keep abreast of what's generally going on, and this seems very cool!
Psh, I put one of my labmates to sleep at the end of July.
And that figure's hidden away in the appendix, but I updated another instance of LTP / LTD at your suggestion (and used non-acronym words since 2/3 of my committee are not neuroscientists). It's a bit late to update all the illustrator images of amyloid and tau though.
And at the moment it's a fishing experiment with an interesting lead, unfortunately the follow-up cell work has been facing setbacks.
It's week four of the semester already! How?
Teaching is fun, and I spoke with one of my students and he said he wasn't confused about how loops work, so I guess that means I'm doing a decent job. We'll see if that's true in general on the test next week.
I am slowly cleaning up the last bits of the elephant of a paper I've been working on for 3 years. Hopefully it'll be out the door this month or next (my advisor thinks this month, I think not...).
Someday I will find a spare hour or so during the day to go pick up oxygen and acetylene tanks since I have the rest of a torch setup now ( kleinbl00 thanks for telling me to stop fucking around and just get one already). Once I do that, I'll have everything I need to make one part for the MR2 and it will be "done" more or less!
Turns out I DO got this. They love the idea.
But can't afford the headcount right now. :-(
So I am working on a new plan to do some groundwork to build a platform for the new team (and provide benefits to the company while I'm at it), so that when the time comes, I'm the one they choose to lead the new team.
Wasn't what I was hoping for, exactly, but s'all good.
Headings
Sure. Why not?
Food
I don't know where Dala got the idea, but her Ramen broth replacement is amazing. Use half a pack of the oriental powder, a few liberal splashes of soy sauce, a few liberal splashes of worcestershire sauce, and ground black pepper. It works great for plain Ramen noodles, but it works even better with veggies and pork to go with it. We keep on planning to make and then keep on putting off making soda bread. We need to really get in that. I haven't had soda bread since I was a kid and I think the walk down memory lane would be just as fun as actually making it.
Comics
I was at the comic shop yesterday, just kind of poking around. I had the great idea to pick up a Godzilla comic or two to decoupage, but pretty soon decided against it when I saw that the cheapest books were 5 bucks a pop. That's too much to spend on something I'm gonna cut up. That said, they did have some classic Marvel and Dark Horse comics of the guy, which was cool to see. I ended up picking up Maxwell Strangewell and read it last night. I loved every bit of it.
Nightmares
I didn't get any sleep last night. I had a horrible nightmare where my neighborhood was about to be invaded, Red Dawn style, and the only way to prevent it was to paint all of the houses orange. Unfortunately the paint wasn't well mixed, because there were splotches of white in every brush stroke and the color itself was less of an orange and more of a dark peach. With hiccups like that, it's no wonder we failed. Typed out that whole dream sounds ridiculous. At the time though, it made perfect sense. Our minds are weird like that.
I dreamed about OftenBen last night. He had a restaurant where he was a quasi-regular, at which for dinner he frequently ordered salads. His special treat, however, was that the kitchen would slap two burger patties on top of his salads, which made them tenable. There was a girl he met there, who'd noticed his burger-salads, and they were going to go on a date.
(As for me, I was sitting down to take what was essentially a GRE, but only for math, with 6 or so other people in a classroom setting. As we prepared to start the exam, the proctor poured us all glasses of rose. I remember it was a particularly leggy rose.)
Don't trust him on this, he told me to watch some horrible movie called the Lair of the White Wyrm.
I've seen it twice! I enjoy it. I'm not saying it's 5 star worthy, but from what I remember, solid. Internet high fives.
If you want to watch something really skillful and slick, on Netflix there's this movie called "The House of Yes" starring a young Parker Posey. It's one of my favorite movies of all time. It's not horror or fantasy at all, though.
Well, it might be horror, but in a weird way.
It also features a young, still-unattractive Tori Spelling!
My buddy went to Navy basic yesterday. You can do it dude, just don't take shit personally, and make yourself adaptable. Have a sense of humor about yourself to counter any cynicism, everything else will fall in line. Best of luck!
Cycling stories.
The Hubski team in the Charity Miles app will be reaching 1000 miles soon. If you ever carry a smartphone through time and space using muscle power, you could be the one to hit that milestone, while supporting a charity of your choice.
Crash #1
I have wrecked two or three times, but all were in snow, at low speed and with soft landings. So I only have stories of other cyclists' crashes.
Last week I was behind a guy wearing what looked like a wingsuit, some kind of poncho for the light drizzle. A deer crossed the trail right in front of him, but he braked enough to avoid a collision. I caught up to make a joke about venison and discovered that it was the kid's soccer coach. I don't think I've ever encountered a familiar face on the trail, except for a neighbor (and the kid's taekwondo instructor) when he was out running.
The soccer coach stopped to adjust his poncho after the rain became a downpour and I went on ahead. After I got home I sent him an e-mail saying I had been about to warn him about the wreckage I had seen on a rainy day in the spring at the bottom of a hill we were approaching before he stopped. The descent ends in a blind corner, and it looked like two guys met head-to-head. There were bike accessories scattered around, and one rider had an ugly lump on one shin, but no serious injuries.
The coach wrote back, agreeing about the danger of that hill. The next day he wrote again saying he had seen an ambulance at that very spot, loading a guy on a stretcher, who he predicted would be sore tomorrow. I got a flat on that hill once, it must be haunted or something. I always take it slow.
Crash #3
I was walking on the sidewalk near where I found a cell phone. Radio Paradise was playing "Carbon Kid" and I barely heard a voice call from behind before a cyclist passed a bit too fast and a bit too close. Then a car pulled out of a garage directly in front of him, forcing him to brake hard and turn into the road to avoid impact. He bumped into the passenger side fender anyway, and since the driver hadn't seen him she continued to pull into the road. The cyclist, teetering, was forced parallel to the car as it turned toward him until he was knocked facedown onto the road. The driver must have heard or felt something and stopped, just before the rear wheel would have rolled over the fallen rider.
I stood frozen like an idiot, staring in stunned silence. The guy got up and rolled his bike back to the sidewalk, while the driver jumped out and began asking if he was okay about a hundred times. "I'm okay, I'm just worried about my bike." "You can always get a new bike," I said, continuing in idiot mode. It was kind of a junky ride, but the wheels still spun freely as he tested them. He convinced the driver to go on. I thought they should at least exchange phone numbers, but the cyclist's girlfriend or biking companion had appeared so I didn't interfere. I studied the car's license plate, not sure what else to do, then immediately forgot it. The guy seemed okay so I walked on. A minute later the two cyclists passed me again and continued on their way.
The time I definitely didn't crash
I got dropped off at the metro station to retrieve my parked bike. The kid wanted to join me going home. It's just over a mile so I figured it would be a nice walk.
But it seems so silly walking with a perfectly serviceable bike. I had an idea. It was not my road bike, but the sturdy old hybrid I ride to the train when I'm too lazy to bike to work. I convinced the kid to sit on the seat and keep his feet tucked back on top of the cargo rack, while hugging my waist. I stood up on the pedals and put it in low gear and off we went, in a configuration I haven't seen in this country since my childhood but see all the time in places that aren't so uptight about [scare quotes] safety.
I figured the biggest risk was someone calling the cops since we didn't even have our helmets. I was on super-high alert and avoiding streets, sticking to the dedicated bike trail, so it seemed unlikely the heat would catch us, but public opprobrium would be harder to avoid.
No one said anything until we were almost home, and a cyclist passed and said "I like your style!" cheerfully. Maybe a personal injury lawyer.
The app is available for Android and iOS. Join as many teams as you like or start a new one; teams are just for fun. You pick a charity and the app indicates which corporate sponsor you pedal for that day.
It used to give you a sum at the end of each trip, some trifle per mile that added up to a respectable pocket-change total after a commute. Now it shows a cumulative total when you finish, thousands of dollars but it's not clear how far back it goes or how much it changed. I'm usually tracking my activities anyway so I figure one more app sucking battery is worth it for the karma.
Looks like a free (& anonymous) domain that someone registered and pointed at hubski's server.
Both resolve to the same IP (162.243.169.82) so I don't think there's anything especially nefarious going on.
If I had to guess it's probably some form of SEO / marketing strategy / abuse - that's what's usually going on with fishy web things like this. Whoever's in charge of the domain is probably trying to build reputation using good content & traffic from Hubski. Eventually, they might try and swap their pointer from Hubski's server to one they own, using the reputation they built to climb search engine ranks and get more traffic.
Total shot in the dark, I'm never exactly sure what these people are up to.
Or maybe it's just someone screwing with us.
Hm. There is someone testing the internet right now... poking at all of the systems and seeing how quickly the systems respond to their actions. BoingBoing has a good 101 on it.
I'm not sure if this is related or not, but the probing is systematic, and it's best to respond to those kinds of things quickly. Make sure you aren't labeled as an "easy mark" by the hacker...
Started going to physical therapy last week. Learning a lot about statistics this week. Thinking about asking out "the barista" next week.
Yesterday I made a haul, by dint of someone who has the sense (questionable or sound, we shan't contend) to lub me, yeah, yeah, yeah. And today she left me a bottle of wine and a note hidden in a cooler in front of my apartment door because she's going away for 9 days and she's going to miss me.
Seriously, could I be a luckier person? Yes, that's four copies of Let it Bleed.
I wanted to post a picture to TNG's faces of Hubski thread but realised I don't have any recent ones. I've let myself fall back into a bad diet, lack of exercise, stopped shaving and just feel generally 'icky'.
Having some problems with anxiety again, I think I'm just letting things pile up and get on top of me. I've started playing Borderlands 2 with my friend I reconnected with, which has been great, but it's way too easy to use that as an excuse to procrastinate.
I have spent much of the day fantasizing about what secular monasticism would look like or how many people in suits I could stab before the police got me. I am still waiting for the "you get used to it" phase of the transition from the non-profit to the corporate world. On the bright side, now that I need anesthesia, I can afford to pick my anesthesia from the top shelf.
My parents have some acreage, and we have been kicking around the idea of maaaybe setting up some sort of structure on their land and living in that while saving up to buy some land of our own. We started talking about it after a friend of ours bought a trailer to build a tiny house on.
I've thought western style yurts are pretty dope for a while now. Maybe this will lead somewhere, maybe not, but I'll probably mock something up in Blender to see how it could work. It'd be nice to GTFO out of the suburbs. I hate it here.
- yurts
There's a Youtube channel, I think it's called Primitive Technology, of a guy doing all sorts of cool stuff. He's built some simple, traditional huts. I think if you're gonna live in it, you might want something more long term, but you should check out his videos. They're pretty cool.