When I was college-age, so not that much younger, I developed a real problem with making myself do scary things. Maybe I'd always been bad at it, but around college I figured I could just not show up to things and mostly, it wouldn't really have an impact. (I think there is also less impact in college to saying you'll be at a party and then not showing. Post-college, a) the parties aren't so huge no one will notice and b) people who are trying to make friends feel rejected, etc.)
When I was 20 I was subpoenaed as a witness because of a shooting which occurred in my neighborhood. I was not happy about it, because a) court seemed scary and b) I didn't actually witness the event.
But it was a subpoena and if you ignore one of those, they can hold you in contempt of court and/or issue a bench warrant, which I really wasn't interested in.
I left for court determined I would make it. Convinced I had to make it or else I'd probably have shitty legal consequences.
I drove by the courthouse, missed the turn for the parking garage, tried to circle back, got lost, tried to circle back again, drove past the courthouse again, all the while watching the clock and fretting about time. (Especially at that age I was one of those people who skipped things rather than appear even a minute late. Class, for example, was a big one for that. I have come to learn that generally, especially with stuff like court (thanks jury duty), there's ALWAYS people arriving late/not knowing where to go/etc and really, you should go. Especially if you're only late by a minute or two. Anyway, I digress.)
The clock ticked on. I became more and more flustered. Finally, it got to be that time where I knew I wouldn't be at the courthouse at 8:30 as I needed to be, and I was probably near tears. I was so pissed by the whole affair. I said "Fuck it" and turned around and drove back home. That's right, I ignored a subpoena.
(It actually turned out all right.)
I guess this is a bad example because it was a very intimidating thing for me and I did actually make an effort to follow through with it. However, I also believe that I could've tried harder and I could've made it to the court that day - I was just so scared, anxious, intimidated, and flustered I let my emotions get the best of me and prevent me from "successfully" getting to the courthouse.
When you have to do something foreign and scary, or that makes you anxious, or that metaphorically "gives you hives," Hubski, how do you bite down and make yourself do it? Do you recite mantras to calm down before the fact? Take deep breaths, have a funny saying that helps you relax? And what do you do that makes sure you do exert all the willpower necessary to actually follow through?
Yrs in anxiety,