Last week a guy I work with sent out an email announcing his retirement after 20 years.
That's a long time. That's a lot of hours dedicated to selling something for a large corporation that will not remember him 20 years from now. Still, he likely was able to send his kids to college, pay for their home, cars, weddings etc because of his job. This is not for nothing. Still, I wonder how he would have thought of how he spent those twenty years, if we asked him twenty years ago.
How about you? You feel well positioned to say, "nothing, I did it all," as the answer to the posts question?
The way I see it, bad shit happens and will keep happening. Suffering and other negative emotions are by choice, and only hinder personal growth.
I've been working on this myself. I have two standing rules: First, don't get hurt. That can apply to anything from not pushing myself when my body says I hurt to not hiking further when snow starts picking up. But the second rule is to stop thinking about it and just go. What I've found is I overthink things. I've worked out as many of the problems as I can, but I still sit here and worry. When I get to that point, I work hard to push myself past the worry and just go.
This is exactly what I did. I finished university (mid-collapse of economy) and went on a backpacking trip to Latin America, starting in Mexico...
Three years later, I'd never made it further south! I spoke fluent Spanish, had a Mexican boyfriend I lived with, a ranch full of horses and a job with the local television station.
When I got back to the UK, my British friends were still mostly jobless, mostly living at home. I got a job within 48 hours of arriving in London - it turned out that there was a huge demand for bilingual tech people in the British film industry.
So, yeah - getting lost basically got me my only marketable skills!
I'd definitely recommend it :)
How do you survive a backpack trip? I hear about people doing this. What sort of research goes into that trip? I imagine I'd be mugged by the end of the day and dead by the end of the week if I tried something like this without any local knowledge.
It's amazing, and I admire you folks who can do things like this. Now I have a family and a good job and the best I can hope for is to load everyone up the Honda Element and drive (spins in a circle) THAT-A-WAY for a week or so--just to go on an unplanned adventure.
Actually I cringe when I look back on some of the dangerous things I did, so safety wasn't really one of my top priorities, I don't think (although, fortunately, nothing too horrible has ever happened to me traveling). I grew up in London, so I suppose taking certain precautions is second-nature in some ways? Provinces of poor countries actually feel much safer to me that big first-world cities do.
Money-wise, I was lucky enough to have no debts coming out of university, and to actually have some money (not a massive amount, probably 3/4k dollars) saved up from a student job at a call center. I set up a bank account with the lowest international transaction fees available, and set-up £400 (maybe 500 dollars?) to wire into this every month (so I wouldn't have to track my spending too much, or worry too much about bank-card theft/ATM kidnapping etc.). I only carried this card (debit! only carry debit cards!) with me. I always carried a 100 dollar bill and a 50 euro note, as well, for immediate emergencies.
Where are you planning to go? Have you bought crazy numbers of maps yet?
Clever setup! I'd have to remember that.
Ever since the bus tour in Europe in 2011 I've been willing to visit the region in general and Germany and France in particular. I've seen some wonderful cities as well as beautiful nature while on the road, and even though I quite enjoyed the glimpse, I know I want more than that. If I have enough, I will use my time and money to travel the US and Canada - again, both the cities and the nature, and everything in between. Going by foot seems more natural, more relaxing and comfortable, though I won't decline bus or hitchhike travelling if need be or the wish arises.
I'm going to university this year, so travelling will not happen soon. I will use my time to both study and to make my own money while my parents support me. Closer to the free summer I will have to decide.
What do you mean by saying that growing up in London made you take certain precautions? I'm not familiar with the reality of living in the UK and in London in particular yet am curious about it.
London is a big, sprawling metropolis, with extreme wealth and extreme poverty crowded together, and all the opportunities for crime that goes along with that. I grew up in Hackney, which is one of those now-gentrified-but-f*ing-scary-in-the-90s kinds of an area (parts of Brooklyn would be a good comparison, maybe?), so I got good at doing that inner-city hood-up keep-out-of-everybody's-way thing...
The whole of London is not like that by any means - the western parts of the city are generally really safe, as are the tourist spots.
I'm in France now. Come! It's glorious :)
Oddly enough, you've picked another part of another city that I'm not aware of: I've never been to the US. :) I see what you mean. I recall stories of what Russia used to be back in the 90s, after the Union collapsed (people being threatened with a gun right in the street after dark) - sounds rather similar to what your hometown had.
It would be great to visit France now! Yet, there are things I'd rather accomplish beforehand, like publish my damn stories already or finally step into the university - all the things that will lead to me being able to support myself while on the journey, in one way or another.
D'oh! I assumed that, because you were on the internet, you were obviously American (and male, and in your early 20s. I make this assumption despite being none of these things myself...)!
Where in the world are you?
Thank's for taking the time to respond to so thoroughly to my response. Being raised in the US placed a pretty big divide between myself and my heritage (Central America). I always imagined if I ever decided to do this it would be in either Central or South America so it was definitely awesome to read.
It's really worth going to Central America! You're so lucky to have roots there - you don't have to just be another awkward gringo stomping around Mayan country :)
Whereabouts in CAm are your ancestors from?
That's so awesome! My dream is to fly to Buenos Aires and backpack around Argentina, Uruguay, and Chile. I know those are different places from Mexico, but I'm curious, how were you received as a backpacker? Were people friendly? How much Spanish did you know before going? And did you go with friends?
I knew no Spanish when I arrived (alone, and female and 20), just a couple of words of Italian, so my first day or so was spent saying grazie and prego to bemused locals. I enrolled in a Spanish language school for two weeks. That gave me the basics, plus I met some people I'd later travel with. If I wanted to meet more people/ speak English for a while, I'd just head to a beach on the backpacker trail. Despite having always been painfully shy (only child, bookish), I found it really easy to make friends when traveling (and have done ever since, in fact. I guess it served as a lifelong confidence boost).
That said, I'd not recommend Mexico now - it is heartbreakingly violent at the moment.
I would recommend Argentina and Uruguay! I actually just got back to Europe after a year in Argentina (for work, not backpacking). It's fascinating - the whole sensual-Latin-fiesta thing and, at the same time, a populace that is more self-analytical than Woody Allen and more literary than the NYRB... :) I wasn't doing much traveling, but the provinces I did visit seemed very safe and friendly to foreigners.
I did this in India. I had planned a few stopping points, but just went where my feet took me because my planned destinations. I went to Nepal for 4 months, then moved to China. I've been here for 16 months. Never expected this! My mom definitely misses me.
I definitely agree with this. I think getting "lost" is the best way to get to understand your true self better, free from distractions.
This is what I want also. I'm 17, almost 18. After reading "Paper Towns" by John Green I got a really big itch for adventure. I wanted to drive somewhere and learn the area.
Aside from that, I want to publish a book of short stories. Or at least get published in a collection. That would be awesome!
Paper Towns was a surprisingly deep book, for what i had originally written off as a generic teen novel.
My parents always talk about the time they were travelling along the east coast of australia, reached a motel and reserved a room.
They then went to get a bite to eat, and ended up travelling the Great Ocean Road by night.
I have always loved that idea, and plan on doing something similar once Uni is over.
I accidentally drove for an hour in a random direction one day. My parents didn't care, just told me to text them the next time I do it. They probably know how much I itch to get out and go places.
I was planning a trip before that was kinda similar to Paper Towns. I was going to go from Michigan to Utah with my girlfriend and look at the state. But sadly, I spent too much money in the early summer and now I don't have the cash for two trips. xD
I recently drove from Canberra back to the town i study at through the back roads.
Absolutely stunning scenery, just me and my music.
Do give digital publishing a shot. It might take you a bit of time to gain profit - unless you build up a solid followers base beforehand - but it seems both cheaper and less problematic.
Either way, as a fellow writer, I wish you good luck and cold winds, for those will not allow you to grow complacent and will make you move forward even if you don't want to at the moment. Don't be afraid to shine and make those who aren't willing to put in effort jealous of your success.
Im 27. Im a pharmacist, a bad friend, a weekend alcoholic and Im quickly (over the past 5 years) losing touch with my family. I plan to correct these behaviors over the next 5 years (as change doesnt happen instantly) so I dont regret when Im 20: Drink less, if not zero. Use the money I save by not drinking to make trips to see friends -- FAMILY. It started earlier this year -- my combat with alcohol. Im doing better -- and recently just recentered myself on the path of social drinking (limit of 2 drinks), NOT drinking to get drunk. I have surrounded myself with friends who love to drink and enable me to drink -- its hard because these are great, genuine friends who are there when you need them. But, I've got to start telling them no in order for my own self improvement. Relationships -- I need to stop playing games with girls or fucking for sport. Honestly, it was OK in college (not really, hurting people is never OK...), but the games have got to stop. I need to be more open with girls I don't like. and more honest with myself about girls and relationships i do see advancing. Ive been blessed with natural good looks -- I need to wield that influence for good. I want kids - and in order to find an extraordinary mate, then I need to act like a one myself.
Exercise more and mediate more (I saw this in someone elses post and i liked it). I feel so good after doing either. Yoga is awesome. SL 5x5 is awesome (although soon moving to more intermediate. I want to continue to do those activities and develop lifetime habits -- not the yearly cycle.
Future Gee: Grow professionally, grow spiritually, grow to be the best version of you over the next 20. Laugh and have a sense of humor on the things you cant control and apply yourself fully and delicately on the the things you can influence. Love your family more -- make big exceptions for them in your life. Go out of your way to be with them -- another weekend with the friends drinking? or a weekend with your pops on the river -- what will you wish you had done in 20 years?
I think you are not alone on this one. Many don't take vacations. Europeans tend to take more vacations than Americans..
..these days I travel more and tend to say "yes" more often to situations that go outside my comfort zone. I found setting up goals automatically via a computer to save an x amount of $ each day helps vs trying to do it manually.
This is a pretty interesting article on how to travel for long periods of time without costing ridiculous amounts of money that you may find interesting.
http://www.thisamericangirl.com/2015/06/10/travel-with-no-money/
This is a good one. I think experiences are important. I try to skip being lazy at home and go visit more friends. Lazy days are nice too though
I want to have tried my best. I don't want fall into a comfortable routine and just exist.
Yes, complacency is the worst. For me, it's when I get the most down and out. When I'm making and doing things, I'm thriving. Good luck!
Future Cadell: I should have explored more of physical reality and enjoyed the constraints of my animality before getting sucked into a hyper-dimensional virtual intersubjective space with unlimited degrees of freedom.
I always thought you were excited to be sucked in to a hyper-dimensional virtual inter subjective space. Have your thoughts on the virtue of such things changed?
I'm sure it will be great, you only live once, so you might as well transcend. But in the meantime, I just need to appreciate my current animal state. Wait... what am I saying? Universe, I am not impressed! Where is my transcendental freedom!?!
Personally twenty years is too far for me to forecast from the present moment. A lot can still change. My aspirations, experiences, circumstances... these are not absolutely immutable. Too many possibilities to consider still.
Exactly why we have better hindsight than foresight.
Check out Michel Thomas. I've had good success in learning Spanish following his method. I don't know if he himself has done a Japanese course (I doubt it, he spoke European languages) but the method is great, and is followed by others in many languages.
That's a big one. It's not something that happens over night or even over the course of one year.
Good luck. I've always wanted to learn how to speak French.
I recently bought a 'life calender'. It's a table with 52 columns and 90 rows. It encompasses every week in your life until you're 90.
I bought it as a poster and it currently hangs above my bed. Every time I feel lost, I find the current week. It helps me grasp how short life really is, and I would recommend everyone to at least take a look at one.
I think the concept originates from waitbutwhy.com -- which also sells them for a reasonable price.
Hey, so I just spent the last 2 hours on that website reading about extraterrestrials to recorded history. Thanks for posting, what a great find for me. I have been despairing recently over how jaded I feel with my typical websites and started to branch out today with this site and in the space of a few hours I've already found quality content.
So do you write in your boxes or color them in to illustrate time ticking away? I counted up to my current age and looked at all the empty boxes in front of that and couldnt help but feel it wasn't that much time. But it feels immensely long looking back at what would be filled in for my own life calendar.
Currently it's just blank.
I have been thinking about using a marker to fill in the weeks that are history -- but something about it seems wrong. The weeks are still there in my memory, and I would argue that how I view my life and memories change as I get older. Therefor to say that a week is finished or should be colored a specific way is to stop thinking about what I have done and what was and wasn't good.
I prefer to just stare at it, and the imagine the memories of my life in every single box.
2 days ago? What happened? What is the purpose? Is it so clear that nothing could sway it? 20 years is a long time. Regardless, congratulations on finding a pursuit that calls to you, I hope that it is a positive endeavor and that you find fulfillment in it. Good luck
Hi, sorry , I'm new to hubski - I'm a refugee from Reddit - I didn't realise people were replying to me,
Thanks for your message and support
I'm an INTJ and I had a hypomanic episode where I had an epiphany as to what my life purpose is
All the details are here ~ warning , wall of text and hand written notes https://www.reddit.com/r/intj/comments/3bv7yg/1stpost_thankyouintj_passion_ambition_optimism/?sort=confidence
The conclusion is that my only goal I have is to become a world famous film director - I have been lost and struggling through the staunch I.T and office world, considering giving up and being a homeless artist - but what I was born to do was create concepts and visions and direct others to bring them into the real world.
I got a chance to live and work in Yosemite National Park and I chose to come back to my home town due to me getting cold feet about living on my own with the closest town being 5 hours away. I feel like I'll never get the chance again and that I'll grow to regret not staying.
I can see how that would be a regret. That said, all you can do now is learn from it. You can't rewind and make a different decision. However, when life presents you with another exciting opportunity, remember the feeling you have now. Don't squander it.
That said, who knows what might have happened. There could be a very good reason for not having gone that you'll never be made privy to. I'm not sure that I believe in fate etc. but maybe there's something you had to finish in your home town first? Perhaps psychologically, you knew it wasn't the time.
Right now I am standing at a crossroads, a giant fork. I've been standing in front of it for what feels a long time, either through circumstance or my own indecision. I think looking back I may regret one of two things: that I chose the wrong road to go down and it really screwed up my life, or that I chose to stand still so long that my hand was forced down the wrong path. Or hell, that I'll finally make a choice and regret how long I was standing still. I suppose there might be a 4th outcome, that I choose well and it all works out the way its meant to.
Probably find a passion, or at least something I'm interested enough in to make a career out of. I'm currently in uni and I just feel as if I won't be able to fit into any of the major industries that society dictates as 'important' such as finance, academia, research, engineering, IT etc. I don't see myself as a 'maths' person, and whilst I'm studying the humanities, I can't say I'm passionate enough to continue with it as a job prospect (which realistically are few and far between). I think I'm creative but not in the conventional sense such as playing music or painting. Sometimes I wonder whether I should just persevere with something 'conventional' so I can have a stable future, but then I might regret not finding and doing something I love...I don't really know...I suppose I just feel a little lost at the moment haha
I feel exactly the same way. Not a maths person, studying in the humanities but without any real passion. Led along by the promise of stability, but with nagging doubts (do I really want to do that for 20 years, will I regret not taking a risk). I wish there was an easy answer.
I'm in a similar boat... I've ended up compromising on my dream jobs (related to art) in favor of studying engineering. I'm a math person, but art is my true passion. It's too difficult of a career, though, and I want something more stable. Now I'm just trying to find an area of engineering that I'm somewhat interested in so I'm not miserable 20 years from now.
This is exactly what I'm doing. I talked myself out of the arts (which was my real passion), and went to college for a BA and ended up majoring in economics. I keep wondering if I gave up too easily, am I going to regret this forever, am I faking my interest in what I'm studying just because I'm not bad at it?
I guess this isn't particularly helpful, but sometimes it helps to know that even if there aren't people in the same boat, we're in the same ocean?
Have you ever taken a personality type test?
Test http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp
Description along with career and relationship advice http://personalityjunkie.com/more-type-profiles/
I have actually taken it before, if I remember correctly I was an ISFJ. Whilst I am pretty doubtful about myers-briggs in general, some of it can be quite interesting.
- Investigative
The Investigative domain includes careers and majors in science, research, law, medicine, and scholarship, as well other forms of investigative work. This domain is associated with Myers-Briggs Thinking and Intuition. Therefore, Investigative careers are typically not recommended for ISFJs or ESFJs.
Artistic
The Artistic domain entails creative work like writing, music, film, poetry, and literature. This domain can be associated with Intuition, Feeling, and Perceiving. While SFJs may aspire to be creative because of their inferior (or tertiary) Ne function, Artistic careers are typically not their strongest suit.
It's funny how this basically echoes what I already felt. It also helps to explain the frustration I feel at not being able to 'fit in' with more conventional career paths that are typically seen as more profitable. I wonder if anybody else can relate to this?
I've just graduated from a music university, so we end up talking a lot about running ourselves as businesses in a career that people typically wouldn't think possible. Is there some medium in particular you're interested in? Writing, drawing, graphic design, etc?
I think feeling lost is something every uni student goes thought. I'm finishing up my math degree next year and I have no clue what I'm going to do or where I'm headed. But if anyone can be sucessful and passionate in their careers it's you and me, ice-9-carrier. I have faith in both of us.
Currently living your dream in Phnom Penh :)
Left my job 2 months ago and haven't regretted it for a second.
You're gonna have a great time, I dont know if I could get any work/intensive studying done here though. But that's just me.
That's awesome. I'd love to hear more about your plans/situation if you're willing to share (are you there long term, do you work, etc.).
I spent a month in Cambodia about six years ago and absolutely loved it. It's what preempted my decision to come back.
No real plans at this point, flew into Hanoi from HK and making my way to Myanmar. No job at the moment, trying to get away from that :)
Cambodia is a breath of fresh air after Vietnam though. Really love it here so far.
This is a very interesting question to ponder. By trying to imagine myself in twenty years and saying what I wish I had done, I am admitting that I have failed to do something. But what will be my failures in twenty years? My regrets might be radically different than anything I have ever imagined. Will I even live another twenty years from now? A question like this can really make one think.
I guess one regret that might occur if I don't find a consistent lover sometime between my current age of 27 and 47 will be not pursuing something further with a girl named Maryanne that really liked me when I was 22. We lost our virginities to one another and this girl really wanted to be with me but I didn't see a connection after a short while, so I quickly ended it. Sometimes I think maybe I should given her more time. Maybe I would have grown to really like her. In these past five years, I have went on dates with over a dozen or so girls and have had some hookups but nothing consistent that might have led to a relationship. If I don't find something consistent by the time I'm 47, then maybe Maryanne will be the one regret that I wish I did earlier in my life because I always got the feeling that she was willing to do anything for me. Perhaps I would have been really happy with her.
In 20 years I'd want to have finally made the switch in my career path.
I'm doing a Geography degree right now and really feel like I'd prefer to do Physics, despite not taking it at A-level or anything- it's just something that I'm a lot more interested in.
I think that the steps to do it and how I do it are going to be complicated though, it's a bit daunting right now. I'm hoping to take a physics A-level in the next school year alongside my university studies and then start a degree in Physics after I finish Geography.
Fingers crossed it actually happens.
Good luck making that change! Our fearless leader, mk has a degree in physics but works in biology. Career paths never seem to make sense, but often seem to work out.
Good luck!
They say that youth is wasted on the young. Prove them wrong.
Your question got me thinking about a lot of things. I can't say what the next 20 years of my life hold, but I want to be able to look back and say "I enjoyed every single day for what it was". Sure, there are a lot of milestones that I want to reach, but I think it's going to be more of enjoying the ride than striving for a destination.
Knowing myself, there will never be a way to say that. I'm always finding new things to get excited about and learn. I'll probably learn something in 20 years and think "Why didn't I get involved in this sooner? "
- Why didn't I get involved in this sooner? "
It's a form of social evolution.
Probably that I would have gone out more, enjoyed life more with people.
I'm currently spending my summer at a research job at my university. It's a great opportunity, and it's great for building my resume and my experience since I'm going to be a junior. Especially since I am planning on going to medical school in the future. However, I don't really have that many friends and as a result don't really spend my weekends doing much besides exercising and drinking. I think, in 20 year, I would want myself to have met more people and gone outside of my safe zone a little more.
i'd wish i wouldn't have worried about now as much, and worried about the future
There is no use in regretting anything, just make the best out of any situation
I will have regretted all of my choices, wondering what life would be like if only I had went on a slightly different path.
More work, especially in regard to personal stuff like comics. I don't want to leave my nice corporate job because it enables me to work and play on the personal things I want, even if I have less time to do so.
I've been in a position where money was tight but time was free, and I dunno. To me, it's a lot harder to find money lying around than it is to find time.
Probably cured up my depression which has been nagging me for the past nine years. I acknowledge the fact that I need help so the chance of getting cured is now bigger than ever, but still might fail. All in all, curing myself is truly the only thing I hope to do in the future.
I'm afraid that I'll regret taking this education instead of finding my true passion. I think I'd like to travel more. Be kinder and more patient. See my family more.
How far in to your education are you? What are you studying? What is your true passion?
Traveling, seeing family and being kinder and more patient you can easily accomplish if you truly want to. Just do them. The other things take more thoughtful deliberation. Good luck!
Thank you! I'm studying information science, just got done with my first year. I wasn't sure what I wanted to study, but I knew that I wanted a bachelor's degree and my friend seemed really happy with this study. I'm not sure what my "true" passion is, I wonder if I'll ever know. I love singing and crafting (DIY stuff) and being creative but I'm not sure if I have the guts to go ahead with that in any substantial way.
- I'm not sure what my "true" passion is, I wonder if I'll ever know.
I can relate to that some. I finished my engineering degree a year ago and I've been at my new job almost a year. I like the job and it will be a solid start to a career if I stay in the field, but there is a small part of me that thinks I should be doing bigger and better things that I should love. But I haven't found that bigger better thing.
I don't worry about whether my degree was worthwhile. My job is good for me now, and I'm trying to get as much experience as I can from it for now. I know plenty of people who have changed careers after decades, so if I find a passion I will probably be able to turn it into a career.
I think the biggest problem in my situation is procrastination. I don't know what I will really love doing because whenever I find something interesting, I just make vague plans and never follow through. I think if I start making this kind of change in myself, I should be able to do better with the job I have, finding something better might be easier, and making changes will be easier.
Sorry if this doesn't really reflect your situation, but your comment felt similar to me and it feels good to put all that in writing sometimes.
I think the fact that you like your job is really important. Don't close off the adventurous side of yourself, though, when it comes to opportunities. I feel like our generation, the millennials, are so accustomed to those success-stories of very young people that we feel less-than when we're not rockstars or billionaires or whatever.
I know for certain that I will regret burning the bridges I have over the last year. Maybe it was necessary to get me to the place I am now, and need to be both emotionally and professionally, but I think I'll regret that I wasn't able to just quietly walk away from the painful parts of my life for a very, very long time.
Wow, interesting question. Over the past 5 years I've gone through a relationship breakdown, lost contact with friends, and I'm on my third job in this exact period.
I'd like to say that I love my current job and have no intention of leaving, yet those other two points I wish that I had never screwed up. Also, if I count back 20 years, I do have several regrets that I wish I had done differently:
- Pay attention at school, rather than mucking about with friends who I had absolutely minimal contact with after I finished. I'd perhaps be in a much better career.
- Stand up for myself, I've suffered virtually my whole life with this (currently 31). I've always been a somewhat shy timid individual, and I wish I could state my opinion far more often rather than leave it bottled up inside.
I have gone the opposite way obviously, however these are things that I believe I could improve on for 20 years into the future. I'm still relatively young (although I seem to think I'm old lol), so I've still got plenty of years ahead of me to get my life sorted, back on track, and to actually feel proud of myself and what I've achieved.
Taken control of my life. Grabbed it by the balls and made my mark.
Divorced my husband. My life would be better without him, but I still can't decide if my kids lives would be better, so I sit.
Thanks (maybe) for the shoutout, steve.
We don't have enough information to advise Aether_Storm sagely or otherwise. There's millions of reasons to stay and millions to leave. My guess is that when it gets bad enough A_Storm will make her move. I think I have a poem on that topic. Let me see if I can find it: When it gets bad enough we leave.
We wrap our dreams around a man.
Shoulder to shoulder we build our homes
And hide our hearts in every niche
But when it gets bad enough we leave.
We leave when it gets bad enough.
Not the first time we catch a punch
Or see the kids cringe
Or call the police
But when it gets bad enough we leave.
When it gets bad enough we leave
For the kids at first
Or for our lives
In spite of love or lust or need
When it gets bad enough we leave.
Because by then we’re half-crazy
And he’s spent all our money
We’re always angry
And it’s no longer funny
And if, by then, we’re still on our feet
When it gets bad enough we leave.(of course if it is a domestic violence situation, I would say dump that chump yesterday - but that is also hard to do)
What do you think, Steve? Should I post a #todayswritingprompt on the topic of leaving?
I recently graduated university...after a 10 on-again off-again relationship with post secondary. I can take that off the list. I am still looking for that "big" thing that sets me on a path. I just want to feel like I accomplish something no a bunch of little ones. I want that one huge "cash out." Doing something I feel passionate about until I accomplish it to the fullest extent of what it can be.
If only I could figure out what it is. #existential#gen-y#
Oh, so many things, it takes too long to list them all (I just tried; erased the whole thing - hundred of words - halfway through). I've always measures my progress by the deathbed time - that is, the time when I'm on my deathbed, thinking back to the life behind me.
So, in short, by the time I'm about to die, I want to find a woman to both have her be perfect with me and be perfect with her; raise a few children in the most loving yet stern enough way so that they'll learn that there are far better things than thriving off others' misfortune and stomping down others' success; publish all of the stories I have in my notes (one of them - the semi-fanfiction Crystal Clear, based loosely off Dota 2's foggy lore and its characters - is now in production and is the biggest thing I've written yet already); make a dent in others' perception of reality by sharing everything of importance that I've found out while living; establish (at least the foundation for) the program that will teach children basic steps towards understanding themselves and others by informing them of such undiscussed-in-public things like emotions, how mind works, relationships, motivation and success and so forth; fly with the best personal flight tech available; shoot from a firearm; shoot from an M1911 (I'm in love with this pistol); shoot from a firearm with a suppressor on; shoot from an M1911 with a suppressor on (I told you); find out that I've helped someone to turn their life for the better; make a stubborn person think about what they don't want to think but what will make their lives better; travel, in Europe and North America in particular; learn a dozen languages (got two, learning two more, with a few more on the way; I love languges); make a few of my own languages (including those for the stories); film a movie, however short, of high quality; write an interactive story worthy of including in my collection of stories; make a soundtrack or a song (I love music); sing, either for a recorded song or for a public (either my own song or covering one of those I came to love); share the ideas that I found important off a stage; craft a bow and hit a target with it; learn to shoot from a bow with high skill; make my own piece of furniture; learn to cook delicious food; be strong, physically and mentally; feel my body strong and beautiful; learn to fight and defend those I want to defend; be shot by a small firearm with armor on (to feel the effect; if I could, I would also want to be shot without any armor on - I am this curious about various human conditions)... Too many things to write.
It's a grand challenge, and I'm finally ready for it. I've been living 20 years of my life for nothing, trying to impress people whom I don't even care about, sacrificing my passions in the process. Only recently have I realized how pointless it is; funnily enough, and it all started from me leaving the university and ending relationship with a girl I thought I loved. Let us shine bright and charge other with our light.
Probably buy a house. I have a condo now, and while it suits me fine, I'll probably wish I'd bought a house and had a dog and maybe a hobby car.
I've spent the last ten years trying to not regret I hadn't done more. For eight or nine of those, I followed a band around the world. The generic term people would use is "groupie," but that calls to mind things like doing cocaine with the band, and it's nothing like that. Instead it's a lot of meeting other fans and sleeping on their couches and splitting hotels and seeing small pieces of many cities.
Now I'm doing more hiking. I'm working on the Adirondack 46ers, the forty six high peaks in Adirondack Park in upstate New York. I have eight so far, starting last year. If I don't finish the remaining ones, that will be a regret in twenty years.
I had this talk with myself about 6 years ago. I was just tending bar, not doing much else. It eventually occurred to me that I will one day look back on this time in my life and wonder what else I could have been doing. While my job wasn't bad, per se, it wasn't exactly satisfying, either. I ended up going back to school and am now working as an archaeologist. I travel a lot and meet new people all the time. Now I'm wondering if 20 years from now I will wish I had spent more time with my family instead of spending it in the field.
I want to finish my novel! And keep writing. But it's so scary to think about... :|
I competitively play a game called Super Smash Bros. Project M, a mod for Brawl to make the cast more balanced and revert the physics to be slicker and more competitive like melee's. I started playing around six months ago and since then I've improved quite a bit. I'm hovering around the upper half of the top 20 in San Diego county, which is a region that's stacked as hell and full of amazing players. The community is thriving right now, there are 4-5 tournaments a week in Socal. Playing this game and going to tournaments and meeting all these awesome people has been one of the most fun experiences of my entire life. There are no online capabilities for this game so if you want to play you have to find someone and sit next to them, and because of this the community is so much nicer and less toxic than that of most other games. It's also a very intricate and complex game, it runs at 60 frames per second and has an average high level APM of over 300, which is roughly that of Starcraft. Nobody plays it even near perfectly and there is an enormous room for improvement. I want to be the best at this game, but because of how fast your hands have to move to keep up, I'm starting to get terrible hand pains at a very young age. I fear this may stagnate my progress, and I hope this doesn't become a serious issue because I would seriously regret not reaching my goals.
Getting out of the wrong crowd earlier. They had a very bad influence on me but at least I'm away from them. Just going to take quite some time to remove the marks of their bad influence.
Getting out of the wrong crowd earlier. They had a very bad influence on me but at least I'm away from them. Just going to take quite some time to remove the marks of their bad influence.
This may sound vague, but honestly I just want to be able to say that I gave it my all. I don't want to be able too look back on any failed ventures and have any doubt about having given everything my 100%. As long as I've done my best in life, I think I'll have peace about whatever comes.
In 20 years I will be 42 years old. I'm in the process of slowing my Twitter feed down and waning myself off of it, so hopefully I won't be wishing I had spent less time on Twitter and more time reading books. But I will very likely be wishing I had taken better care of my health and going outside more. I really do dislike moving. Or maybe I'm afraid of it.
What's the next book on your list to read? The hubski #books tag is a good one. Also, #bl00sreviews is a nice book review tag. Good luck!
My list is more like a pile consisting of all the books I've started reading but for some reason only got a few pages in. Probably Adaptation Studies: New Challenges, New Directions, a collection of essays on adaptation studies. It was recommended reading for a Korean film and lit course I took last semester but I only got halfway through before I put it down to read something else. Thanks for the tag recommendations, will definitely follow!
Get known playing guitar.
By get known, I don't mean "famous" in any sense of the word, but rather, being able to go around the world, playing music I enjoy, for a crowd that wants to hear it, and keeps me driven to produce more.
Pay is not important; making people happy doing something I love, is.
That sounds really cool. You must really have some stories about being on the road. What was the most interesting thing that happened on tour and do you have any recordings from your time in the band?
People gave me shit for joining a brass band and playing bass guitar for them (small town of <2000 people, not a lot of low end players).
It was one of the best things i ever did. Playing music just for the sake of playing music with a good group of people i wouldnt have associated with otherwise.
Absolutely man. I went from playing a lot of very simple pop rock and the like, to playing things like the Pirates of the Carribean theme, which while not terribly difficult, isnt something i ever expected to be part of my musical repetoire.
I'm not really sure, I'm admittedly pretty young. I'd like to say that I will regret not putting as much time into being "productive" (ie. studying, exercising) but I sort of doubt I will regret not putting as much time into those things. I already study and exercise a lot, and I only say those two things because they're the biggest ones but I'm sure I could list a few more things one would consider "productive."
It just seems that people who worked really hard always regret not having taken the time to have some more fun, and people who didn't work hard enough regret not having worked hard enough. I think I've struck a decent balance between working hard and having fun, so where does that leave me? Any older people out there who thought they had a good balance of work and fun in their later years in high school have any feedback for me?
I do enjoy learning, I just find it difficult to focus for too long unless I'm specifically required to do so -- essentially, I can focus for lengthy amounts of time if I know I'm studying for a test that's coming up, but I can't focus for too long if I know I'm learning just for learning sake. I always think, oh I can just do this later. Ugh, I should really work on increasing my tolerance for things like reading.
20 years is a long time, and I'm only 24 so I feel like my answer to this will change.. But as of right now, I hope to go back to school and climb up the ladder in my current job. I love the job, the money is not great but the work is awesome and fulfilling. I enjoy going to work and I feel like I'm making a difference. I'd love to make my way up in the company and stay here for a long while. I'd like to keep up with the gym and stay healthy. I always seem to lose motivation and I need to fix that for myself.
Fixed my broken spirit, let go of the things that cause me harm, gained a healthy self-image, learned to meditate, mastered self-restraint, learn to relax and stop worrying about how it's all gonna end.
I think that is a reasonable expectation. You tend to get what you put out. Perhaps you should lose the word "moderately?" Go for full-on successful, by your own standards of course.
Also, for some reason your comment put this song in my head:
Well I am exactly 20 now, so when I am 40 I will probably wish I had a better job and didn't study the Russian/German languages in college. But screw it, I want to learn. And if I want to do other things in the end I intend to utilize my time to the best of my abilities so there is always the next 20 years after that.
I actually feel like it will be nothing. I did a bunch of stupid shit when I was younger and never really had any goals other than to possibly be an entertainer(turns out you have to try hard even when you're good at it). I don't really have goals anymore. Just need to live life now, if I look back in twenty years and realize I still haven't done that, I'll be pissed.
Turns out that's a thing you can do today. Like, now. It's not like there's ever going to be a good time...
// quit 15 years ago. It sucked. It was worth it. // find a community to share the rage. Dunno if this place has one; I used quitnet.com and made many lifetime IRL friends through shared misery, which was an unexpected benefit.
I just quit more than a year ago now. For me, it was a mind over matter. Before I quit, I started to realized why I started smoking in the first place. I was young and thought smoking looked cool. Smoking was excuse to go outside during break. When i was in college, the 5 to 10 mins breaks in class, all the smokers will go out talk and smoke together. Now, there's no real reason and there wasn't any in the first place. In the end this was very bad habit to pick up, and get costly very quick. Why breathr something that is known to cause cancer then frwsh air. All this negative thinking, I now associated with cigarettes. When I smell cigarettes, I just get this repulsive and disgusting feeling inside.
Finished my first degree, finished my masters, decided if I want a phd, and if so, finished it.
Done one of the advanced degrees in a different country.
Managed to leave every place I lived in a bit better.
Hiked across the country, from one border to the other.
When I'm 38, I'll wish I had learned French. I'll wish I had been brave enough to be myself openly. I'll wish I had been confident enough to go to parties or nights out. I'll wish I had pursued a relationship. I'll wish I had had the gall to follow my dreams as a musician and singer songwriter.
Im 27. Im a pharmacist, a bad friend, a weekend alcoholic and Im quickly (over the past 5 years) losing touch with my family. I plan to correct these behaviors over the next 5 years (as change doesnt happen instantly) so I dont regret when Im 20: Drink less, if not zero. Use the money I save by not drinking to make trips to see friends -- FAMILY. It started earlier this year -- my combat with alcohol. Im doing better -- and recently just recentered myself on the path of social drinking (limit of 2 drinks), NOT drinking to get drunk. I have surrounded myself with friends who love to drink and enable me to drink -- its hard because these are great, genuine friends who are there when you need them. But, I've got to start telling them no in order for my own self improvement. Relationships -- I need to stop playing games with girls or fucking for sport. Honestly, it was OK in college (not really, hurting people is never OK...), but the games have got to stop. I need to be more open with girls I don't like. and more honest with myself about girls and relationships i do see advancing. Ive been blessed with natural good looks -- I need to wield that influence for good. I want kids - and in order to find an extraordinary mate, then I need to act like a one myself.
Exercise more and mediate more (I saw this in someone elses post and i liked it). I feel so good after doing either. Yoga is awesome. SL 5x5 is awesome (although soon moving to more intermediate. I want to continue to do those activities and develop lifetime habits -- not the yearly cycle.
Future Gee: Grow professionally, grow spiritually, grow to be the best version of you over the next 20. Laugh and have a sense of humor on the things you cant control and apply yourself fully and delicately on the the things you can influence. Love your family more -- make big exceptions for them in your life. Go out of your way to be with them -- another weekend with the friends drinking? or a weekend with your pops on the river -- what will you wish you had done in 20 years?
Work wise: Work for a small company in a progressive area of a city where I can feel like I'm making a direct impact on the company and community surrounding it.
Life wise: Maybe move to or spend a significant amount of time in Western Europe. Really seeing the world in general and making even more connections.
I'm sure there'll be something I regret 20 years from now, but I hope that it will be minor. I'll be happy with myself if that is so.
Invested in the next big company when it was still doing its thing in someone's garage.