Biking
No crashes to report. I continue to make efforts to avoid, rather than survive, any wreck. After seeing rumors of daytime lights being useful, I ride with front and rear lights at all times, and always use eye protection and no headphones.
Apart from the few car drivers I encounter at unavoidable intersections, mamils may be the biggest threat. One sped past this morning sporting a teardrop helmet, sure to escape the beautiful weather and arrive at his meeting ten seconds earlier.
Someone at the office always removes their front wheel before locking, making me wonder if he or she knows something I don't. This morning the wheel was sitting loose, and the frame was secured by nothing more than a brake cable.
The Future
It's getting silly out there. I skimmed a report that predicted, with arguable plausibility, 90% more better everything thanks to Transport as a Service. From page 8:
- Oil demand will peak at 100 million barrels per day by 2020, dropping to 70 million barrels per day by 2030. That represents a drop of 30 million barrels in real terms and 40 million barrels below the Energy Information Administration’s current “business as usual” case. This will have a catastrophic effect on the oil industry through price collapse (an equilibrium cost of $25.4 per barrel)
This would be comfortable win territory for my double-or-nothing oil bet.
I got out of the habit of checking cryptocurrencies for a few weeks and everything went wild. Ripple took second place after Bitcoin in market cap with an ongoing hockey stick tear. A guy at work who kept saying "bubble" last week went to a Bitcoin ATM last night and bought in.
In other news, cryptocurrency ATMs exist. He said something about two-factor authentication and I was impressed that someone could get a machine to comply with know-your-customer and anti-money-laundering requirements. But when I pressed for details about the transaction, he said he didn't have to smile at the camera and showed no ID. Enter mobile number, insert cash, then get (or display?) wallet address QR code and you are a player. I aim to give it a try, but if anyone else can test drive the system please do report in.
Also: Urbit.
- One sped past this morning sporting a teardrop helmet, sure to escape the beautiful weather and arrive at his meeting ten seconds earlier.
What a perfect sentence. But think about how cool he looked. That's worth the ten seconds.
There was a planned liquidation at Kraken that coincided quite nicely with a DDOS. Both events coincided with leaked Ripple rumors about locking up currency. It's a pretty obvious manipulation of one consortium over another in an attempt to favor one blockchain over another; if XRP wins, there's a nice consortium of Japanese banks that will make a killing. If ETH wins, it'll be American banks.
Studying crypto is useful because it illustrates what the regulated markets are trying to do but have to be sneaky about because regulation. Crypto? Fuckin' wild wild west.
THINGS I MADE THIS WEEK
A guitar made from stuff I was planning on throwing out. I'm in the process of moving right now, which always makes me think about the stuff I've got and the stuff I want to get rid of. I'm trying to not throw anything away this time (except for, y'know, trash), and just repurpose as much stuff as I can.
I've also started volunteering at a salvage shop that fixes up furniture / instruments / all kinds of weird goodies that people find at the dump. It's been nice to get my hands dirty, and I'll probably be getting most of my furniture for my new place from them.
Cardboard self-portrait made on break at work. Thought it was fun.
I purchased, and listened to your album. It's phenomenal. The songs are melodic, well written and beautifully produced. You have well crafted, well honed songs that resonate with me. I'm very excited to see what is to follow from you.
You have what it takes. Whatever that means and whatever that is... you have it.
As for me, I will not likely be recording any time soon. Too much work/travel. It sorta sucks. But... there are no shortage of past #hubskioriginalmusicclub songs to add to :) should you or ghostoffuffle feel so inclined. -GoF, you should be done with your program now, right? How are you?
I'll let you know how I'm doing when my MRI results come back...
Feels good to be out of school, anyway.
I don't like the sound of that. But I'm an intrinsically positive fella and will send those positive "vibes" your way, my friend.
Glad you are done with escuela, senor fuffle.
Edit: regardless of the results, I hope your physician has the good sense to prescribe you with the task of recording music. Best medicine there is.
Thank you TNG, I really appreciate your support.
Because I am an insane person, I am already starting to write the next album. It's going to be called "Jericho", and the key idea I'm focusing on is "precision" (point of information: the key idea for this past album was "constant forward motion"). I'm thinking of actually notating the entire thing before recording just to really nail the composition down and focus on perfect performance.
I'm happy with the album itself, but I'm honestly most excited about just having a first major project done. I feel a lot less pressure on whatever the next thing is now, and I finally have recent music to send to people for gigs and stuff.
Sad to hear that you won't get to record anytime soon, but just think of what you'll make when you finally have the time to record again!
I've been really busy. At least I feel like I have been. I've been driving for Uber for 2-3 weeks and I shouldn't feel this busy working whenever I want.
Monday I went to A Moth StorySlam and went on stage. I told a story that normally takes a half hour forty five minutes. I thought I could condense it to the required five but it was harder than I thought. I think I was docked points because I went like 5 seconds over. Because my score was bullshit. But it was awesome. I saw my girlfriend smile for two hours. It was great. I didn't know what to expect from open mic at the Moth but all the stories except one or two would have worked on the radio.
Both my cats are going in for dental work this morning, so they're pacing around meowing at me, wondering where their breakfast is. Poor kiddos.
At the same time I'm dropping them off, I have a conference call about a sort of high profile project. Hey, I had the vet drop off blocked off on my calendar, it's the project manager's fault. Still, it will be a busy morning.
Running is going well. Today is a much deserved rest day. Next week I'm doing a 19.3 challenge. It's a 10K Saturday night and a half marathon Sunday morning. It's a new challenge for me for sure. I've been dropping time. If I was running only a 10K or only a half, I'd be gunning for new personal bests for sure. Doing both, I'm less confident.
Lately, all I do is work, run and eat. And hike bits of the Ice Age Trail, which sort of counts as running since it's cross training. I'm about 8.5% done with the trail.
Wooh! Early Morning Pubski! Yeah! Bartender. Give me a coffee to start my day right.
Cellphones
For a whole slew of reasons, I actually have taken a few steps backwards. My wife is now the proud owner of the Blackberry Priv and I have a lame, entry level, dumb phone. Guess what? I love it. In all honesty, if the antenna on it wasn't completely borked and the battery not completely shot, I'd happily go back to my old Sony Ericsson phone. Texting with a number pad and predictive text is like riding a bike, you never really forget how to do it, it still has bluetooth and a memory card slot so I can listen to my music in the car, the battery lasts for days, and it just makes me nostalgic as fuck for my college days.
The best benefit is hidden though. My old Galaxy S4? Fuck I was glued to that thing. Every time I had an unfilled moment, I would pull that fucker out and get on the internet. Check the news. Check my e-mail. Check Hubski. It was fucking dumb. Hell, even when I didn't have unfilled moments I'd still pop it out from time to time. Now though? A few weeks later? I'm watching television, reading comics, walking through the park, playing with the dog, hanging out with buds, all without that nagging urge in the back of my head to pull out the phone and get on the internet.
Do I feel a bit stone aged about it? Yes. Is there a mild inconvenience in having to plan my day a little better and keep a notebook nearby now that I don't have a phone with a convenient calendar and note keeping system? Yes. Do I give a fuck? No. Know why? Cause for the first time in years I watched the sun rise without once looking down at my phone. Fucking worth it.
Volunteering/Jobs
Through no fault of anybody, my hours at work have been slashed to the bone and it looks like they're gonna stay that way for the rest of the year at the very least. Earlier this year I made the conscious decision to basically dial back my job hunting to near zero and work on personal development and building relationships, but that's when I was working 30 plus hours a week. Well I got to thinking about the kinds of jobs I've seem to be able to land and I came to the conclusion, with some insight from Dala, that for the summer, maybe it'd be better off doing something shitty for shit pay that I try and do something awesome for free to fill up my time, fluff up my resume, and start making connections. So I'm looking around for volunteering opportunities. I'm thinking museums, zoos, and parks at the moment. I'll let you all know how that goes.
Movies
Still haven't seen the new Guardians movie yet. Gonna watch the OG Godzilla this afternoon after I do some chores.
Comics
Picked up the first two issues of a random comic last week, Street Tiger: A Weird Revenge Thriller. It's violent as shit but wonderfully drawn, brisk in pace, and a lot of fun. I'm already planning to pick up an extra copy of issues one and two to give to a friend who I think will like it and I'm looking forward to getting my hands on the next issue.
- Check Hubski. It was fucking dumb.
Hey :(
I think there are benefits in having a certain level of technology, and then you start to see diminishing returns and added costs to the technology (both monetary and psychological). OG Godzilla is a great movie. Haven't seen that one in a long time.
The wife and I decided to stop being hermits a while ago, and have been poking our heads out now and then to look at the landscape.
It's been nice. I have a bunch of different projects that I have been nudging forward, bit by bit, as I emerge from the dark hole of winter hibernation, and post-wedding nesting.
And now I notice that - whoops! - almost all of these things are teetering on the edge and about to take off all at once!
My calm little relaxed nudges have added up over time, and I'm gonna have to scramble a bit to keep them all heading in the right direction.
Like, working out.
Exercise is going well... but now my knee issues are starting to flare up again.
So gotta address that with some regular acupuncture... which I need to do anyway, to keep my seasonal allergies from flaring up.
So yeah. Self care. Baby steps add up over time. Time to get ready to go full-speed-ahead!
Oh yeah... one of those projects is buying this with a non-profit org I am involved with, and turning it into an art center. First meeting of the team is tonight.
Tired as hell today, I didn't get much sleep because I stayed on the computer like a fucking idiot. It doesn't help that a large number of the people I talk to online are from the USA.
Living in my new house is continuing to go well. We still haven't done a communal house activity (probably going to a bar) yet, which is a shame because they had happened a few times before I moved in to some success and we're all the same age and chat in the kitchen. We all have full time jobs. I have had my first cleaning rota, I'm glad I only have to do that every six weeks... Kitchen surfaces, Kitchen floor, all the hallways and the two staircases! Tiring.
I've been to the gym twice this week. Feeling really good about that. I'm going to go again tomorrow. I haven't got a routine together yet though. I would like to start lifting weights so I presumably need to watch a bunch of videos on how to hold the equipment properly and start veeeeeeery slowly with something light. It would be better if I could get someone to show me how to do it in person.
I have seen the farms of Salinas. I have been to the coast of Monterey. To me, Steinbeck is the American novelist, and to have a greater context of his upbringing and his work is a powerful experience. This is an incredibly privileged job, I am slowly seeing the country without spending my own money...that part changes later this summer. And yet, it is a feeling of place that I am unable to attain.
Looking through things, all my adventure plans for the summer are solo plans where maybe I'll meet people on the road. Because that's one thing I've become more adept at: striking up conversation with people on the trail, at a bar, or whathaveyou. The downside is when there's work travel, I spend a lot of time eating dinner alone. Meanwhile, I haven't had a single person reach out about summer plans beyond a couple of very, very tentative camping trips. Are my relationships that strong? The running community is a regular thing, there's little "hey want to do this thing X outside of running". Sure, people like the Instagram photos, they like the social media...but the depth is lacking and has been for a while now. One of my close friends moves in 3-4 months and then I'm not left with much unless I wanted to move to Seattle or Portland, which definitely does solve the above and below problems.
There was that Pilgrim in Tinder Creek article I posted yesterday, and it raises the question of superabundance. Which I think is a great term for the challenges facing job applicants, online dating applicants, and as a potential general consequence of the digital age and increased physical mobility.
- I have seen the farms of Salinas. I have been to the coast of Monterey. To me, Steinbeck is the American novelist, and to have a greater context of his upbringing and his work is a powerful experience. This is an incredibly privileged job, I am slowly seeing the country without spending my own money...that part changes later this summer. And yet, it is a feeling of place that I am unable to attain.
vs.
- In 2013 I found myself simultaneously single and on the academic job market for the first time. I was thirty, several years into graduate school and at work on a dissertation about nineteenth-century poetry and pleasure. Literary studies, my dissertation argued, was blighted at its core. It had forsaken pleasure, the very reason most people devote their lives to literature in the first place—and the likes of Shelley and Hopkins were apostles of an enlightened hedonism that promised a way out.
Who would you rather date? Who would you rather hire? Who would you rather have a beer with? In the examples you list, the problem is not superabundance - the problem is that no amount of technology will ameliorate schlubbery.
Eating dinner alone is a privilege, not a burden. You become vastly more interesting to the staff and you have an experience that's all about you. When I was down in LA the first time I was a regular at five or six different restaurants. They knew my table they knew my order and when I was there with a friend or a colleague or my wife or whatever I got treated well.
One does not find a strong community. One creates it. This starts with the confidence to dine, to vacation, to dream alone.
- Eating dinner alone is a privilege, not a burden. You become vastly more interesting to the staff and you have an experience that's all about you.
When I was living in Budapest and working for a company in London, I'd spend about a week of every month living in the company flat just off Kensington High Street. Alone. (generally)
It's a rather swanky area. I was making good money. And dining alone was fun sometimes (especially at wagamama, because you are never alone at wagamama!), but after a while it got a bit lonely.
So I would walk up to random people that caught my interest, and invite them to have dinner with me, on my tab.
Actually ate with two mildly famous supermodels. A young couple from Holland. London locals, etc.
It was fun and fascinating!
I have no compunction whatsoever about dining alone at any level of restaurant and have often ended up dining with others as well. I think it is great fun. I sat at the bar of a swanky Montreal resto once, for the 8 course tasting menu, and the staff set me up with what was essentially a dinner party with Linda Evangelista, Kyle McLachlan, former Canadian Prime Minister Mulroney and his wife.
It was interesting! And fun. Odd thing is, just like most nice strangers you dine with, we only talked about casual bullshit, they were all very nice and it was a great couple of hours.
Mostly kudos to the staff in that instance. They were tipped well that evening. After my second course at the bar they had set a table set for me and insisted they would be by to chat regularly if I wasn't busy. I thought that was an odd thing to say.
They put me at a deuce between two 6 top tables in a VIP-ish area which I also thought a bit odd.
After about a minute my next course was brought out and the waitress sat down and chatted for a few minutes then "Kyle and Linda" were seated to my left. I gave them a nod and a hi, kept eating and then got out this furniture book of stuff that I was thinking of buying. Kyle noticed and asked me about it. We chatted about that for a few minutes and then I saw former PM Brian and Mila being seated at the table to my right.
I stood up and said "Good evening Mr. and Mrs. Prime Minister." Not sure if that was kissing ass or not but he was former head of state so...
I had just came from the train station and still had my lawyer's briefcase with me but tucked under the table. As he was sitting, Mulroney must have noted it and made some joke about me probably being a labour lawyer like him. We had a chuckle about that and for some reason I turned to my left (they were already looking) and asked "have you met Canadian supermodel Linda Evangelista and American super actor Kyle McLachlan? This is PM Brian Mulroney and Mrs PM Mila Mulroney." Then we just talked about who knows what. No grand design.
That is the first and only time in my life I have ever acknowledged that someone is "famous". In my experience, conversations are better when you just talk to others as they are "normal" people and not who you/they are "supposed to be".
That's also how Charles Barkley decided to buy me a few glasses of scotch! :)
Longer than expected reply. Oops.
A couple nights ago I went to this amazing, super tiny vegetarian restaurant in Pacific Grove. It was probably the best Yellow Coconut curry I had. Struck up conversation with the girl who worked there and was also providing music that night, switching back and forth between the two after she spoke up to say I had a "quiet, powerful presence". About fifteen minutes later I was shot down on drinks later because she had a boyfriend. Bummer.
Still worth talking to her.
There was a tidder thread the other day about 'How do you make a college application stand out?' and every response broke my heart.
There is no way to 'stand out.' Your attempts to 'stand out' have been collected and codified into stereotypes. There are simply too many people.
While I agree with you, being "cool" isn't at all what I'm aiming for or what I think people should aim for. That's part of my problem with DIY scenes and why I'm much, much less involved with music. It is too much of a social tool aimed to present yourself in a certain way. I think community and a sense of strong relationships is what my comment is aiming towards.
The Ben Folds link was more to elaborate on the above point about stereotypes. Whatever it is we are trying to be, there is someone out there who is more of that. Likely several someones, and they are all just as hungry for the same things.
Community is important. I sing with the people I do because I enjoy it, because they enjoy it, and because nobody is there for any other reason than enjoyment, pleasure in the act of singing.
Summer
Finished finals 5 days ago. Originally had planned to road trip on the way back with my dad but a sudden onset of vertigo prevented him from driving, so I had to make last minute travel & storage arrangements-- so much fun having that added stress during finals.
But I made it home. So far this break has been pretty great. Saw a brass band on Saturday with some friends, and every day so far I've spent a few hours outside playing basketball, a few hours practicing drums, and some time reading or watching TV or whatever. Going back to part time cooking starting next Monday, which I'm excited for. Considering dropping 1/8 of my weekly pay for biweekly drum lessons with a guy at the university.
Relationships
Flashback about a month. During a comedy show I went out to do some crowd work and saw this really incredibly attractive girl. Went up to her, bullshit for a little bit about my toes (long story). A couple weeks later in the library I see her hanging out with one of my friends. Through this friend I end up asking her to pep band formal, we go, it's great, she's great. She makes bad puns and says "rip" too much (I say "rip" too much). Later that night my friend texts me to let me know ("just saving your feelings") that she just wants to be friends. Ok, fine. We keep hanging out. (Bad move, probably, which I knew. Hard not to.)
By finals week it really seems like she's into me, friend agrees. Eventually come to the conclusion that it's better not to do anything just yet because a.) it's finals week, everyone is stressed and emotional, b.) I'm terrified of fucking things up and she's terrified of fucking things up, c.) we're leaving for the summer in, like, days.
We've continued texting and snapping, like, most of the time since we both left.
Media
Finished Junot Diaz's Drown on the flights home. Really excellent collection-- the kind of short stories where for the most part the writing is just good enough not to distract from thematic implications, but every once in a while Diaz hits a phrase or a couple sentences that just make you stop for a second to appreciate the craft.
Especially memorable:
- Mami and Tía were frying tostones and the last of the pastelitos. She appeared happier now and the way her hands worked on our dinner you would think she had a life somewhere else making rare and precious things. She nudged Tía every now and then, shit they must have been doing all their lives. As soon as Mami saw me though, she gave me the eye.
Watched Primer with my dad this afternoon. Still processing. If you're not familiar, it's maybe the most complex time travel film ever produced, and it was all done by one guy (writer-director-producer-composer-actor) on $7000 in 2004. Really an incredible feat, and a joy to experience. Will probably spend the evening reading fan theories.
Oof. Been a while, no? Maybe the next post will be shorter.
- Eventually come to the conclusion that it's better not to do anything just yet because a.) it's finals week, everyone is stressed and emotional, b.) I'm terrified of fucking things up and she's terrified of fucking things up, c.) we're leaving for the summer in, like, days.
You've done much smarter than I did. Congratulations on being a mature person on the matter.
Just finished day 10 of the Headspace Take 10. I never really 'got' into meditation, mostly because I find the instructions often hard to take seriously. But the guy who narrates it is this English lad and it is somehow way better. I think I'm gonna keep at it for another week or two, see if I notice more differences.
Jesus fucking christ I hate IT. I hate IT people. I hate everyone who says "oh this is so easy you moron what's your fucking problem" and the problem is you need root fucking access to install a fucking bash script to generate fucking hex keys that you then have to install via SSH.
FUCK YOU ALL.
It's fuckin' hilarious. What's that? You've got an off-the-shelf router that supports VPN? Great! Let's get VPN running! Click this checkbox! Download these files! Install Tunnelblick! Drop those files on the icon! Yaay!
What's that? It's not working? well did you check the help file? What help file? Why, the one linked in the log, of course. I mean, they even highlighted it in yellow for you. So what should you do? Follow directions, of course! Build your fucking server certificates, of course! What's that? You can't click on a button in your router to build server certificates? Well, we didn't build your router. But we gave you an easy-rsa button to open terminal.
- easy-rsa installation failed: Unable to secure /Users/xxxxx/Library/Application Support/Tunnelblick/easy-rsa/keys/01.pem because it is owned by root
Fuckin'...
I mean, I have like four different devices on my network capable of generating a VPN. I have like zero different devices on my network that say "oh by the way you'll need to have mad skillz to make this shit work."
I just. want to be able to fix the phone system. if it goes pearshaped. while I'm a thousand miles away. Meanwhile Google thinks my NAS is a virus and by updating the certificates now my phone's all pissed off. And fuckin' No-ip thinks I'm completely incapable of opening a port, and it's right fuckin' there, you sonofabitch. And you look online and it's a giant sea of people saying "what the fuck do I do" crested with waves of neckbeards saying "RTFM."
This is why we don't invite you to parties.
Alright, so I've been thinking of what moniker I would use if I start a solo music channel on YouTube/SoundCloud etc. I made a matrix of things/words/band names I like, hoping an idea would jump out at me, but no dice. In fact, the only names I'm still considering have nothing in common with that list. What's you're gut reaction to:
Catelope
Suckaduck
Slutty Dingo
?
I'm not sure what I think of these ones, but they stuck with me so far.
School
This past semester: The curve. Praise whatever be. Wow.
Continuing where I left off: My father was kind enough to sit me down and talk over what life looks like if I discontinued schooling in terms of what I'd be taking on, alongside what I'd have to afford in order to continue living the way I am. Long and short of it, a wake up and smell the coffee moment. I knew I could afford to continue the way I am... if I didn't put resources into insurance or any of those rainy-day expenses.... barely.
Catching up to present: Discovering the extent of the curve in my courses in addition to a few comments from the family's matriarch set me straight. I sorta realized I hadn't been fully taking on OftenBen's advice of 'Take what you want and make the university turn it into a degree for you'. Found an easier route than before to graduation with the news that my physics credits from HS count as credits, but not credit hours (ugh). With this news, I'm not so much married to the idea of a physical sciences component of the degree. Instead, I can shift other courses around to replace and further my way outta here.
Extracurricular
So the plan be more of an impact in my community is slowly stumbling forward. Starting to make weekly calls to people from a personal growth workshop I volunteer at in order to get closer to others. Also, attending near all the events offered (which aren't too much, in fact) including working at the Mental Health Association's Luncheon for my region - again! (I was invited back) Due to its proximity to the anniversary of Pulse last year, it's no surprise they'll be recognizing the event this year. This will be demonstrated by honoring 60~ of the first responders that night which they could get a hold of. In my eyes, there's a heartwarming gesture planned for having each first responder to Pulse seated at unique tables of 10. My minds eye sees them receiving attention and compassion upon arrival to their seats. We'll see how that goes.
Separately, waiting for my flight to NY to occur. Gathered some reading material for the weekend on geothermal energy. Slowly prepping for the internship.
Headspace
Last comment here was around the place I was in after a peer's suicide. Grieving took longer than I thought. The thoughts of 'why?' lead me to weird existential questions I had myself. Still developing my own thoughts. Projecting them where ever I went, I came across 'The Philosophy of Attack on Titan' in a suggested watch while rewatching AoT for Season 2. The series regarding Rick and Morty was engaging enough (the Szechuan Sauce cliff hanger had me searching for theories, naturally). The content creator really seems to like Camus in comparison to other existentialist thinkers. Perhaps it was the presentation, or whatever, but I have some of Camus's essays in paperback coming my way this week via amazon.