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I downloaded it day 1, I just don't use it out of habit. I think I have a problem. Blisk, Brave, Yandex, Midori, Ice Weasel, Opera, Opera Neon, Firefox, Chrome, Chronium, Chronium Canary, Vivaldi are all I have installed. I pretty much just use Google Chrome. Hotkey "Windows + 1"
Opera Neon is the only other browser I use than chrome, because it's sexy enough to give me pause and think about the fact that I am going to use the Internet. Also, it's really fun blowing up your recent links with it. I'm like the kind of person who likes cars because of their color.
I feel consistently on the verge of collapse. I think trying to deal with feeling is probably what my definition of adulthood is for awhile.
On my head is the relationship between my ADHD and depression- at least, I'm beginning to realize that there is a relationship between my careless moments of ADHD causing a lot of anxiety and the ensuing depression caused by the looming inevitability of fuck ups.
Does anyone want to hear my epic fail of a virginity story? I told it at a storytelling show:
I have complex thoughts about how I feel about how it went. The problem is that I was invited to tell this story after the producers heard the one time I told it amazingly, with a highly reactive crowd. This crowd was so lukewarm in comparison. The idealized version in my head will always have precedence, I guess.
Thinkpad Yoga 15 in da house. But I'm pretty much stuck in the Thinkpad ecosystem because I'm so dependent on the trackpoint for the mouse cursor. I even have a two hand system when I use a mouse where I use my left pointer finger for fine movements, and its been bugging me lately because I haven't been able to pinpoint when I started doing this.
I gotta admit, I love shit like this. At least the first time.
I'm more comfortable with strangers than the people I actually know? I guess I wasn't clear with that. I've been told (by someone who was tripping balls on ecstasy, so you know its true) that I'm either at a 1 or 11 on the social interaction scale. I'm working on it.
I feel like this idea is a lot more relevant now than ever. I wonder if there's a way to make it go viral, a la McDonald's schezwan sauce. One thing I do wonder- what is the lowest viable spending amount for the card?
I usually don't participate in these pubskis, and I've been mulling over why today. It occurred to me that this is a pound for pound good thing to participate in that already fits into my life.
I am at my worst in the morning. Not that all my mornings are the WORST, but relative to the rest of the day I usually just want to hide this section of myself from the world. That's probably the main reason why.
Plus my timezone makes me feel like I've arrived late to a party, which isn't true and pretty irrational, but 63 comments (and counting) is really intimidating to post in.
There is also a picture of beer at the top of each thread. I feel naive for asking this, but do people actually drink in the morning? I always get sleepy after drinking, drinking in the morning would be hell for me, I think. Maybe I should try to imagine you guys actually commenting during your afternoons, drinking beer with lunch. Maybe you guys have lunch at your 11am, which seems to be the norm. Fuck, I need to start waking up earlier than 8.
There's a book (I'm pretty sure its The Book of Laughter and Forgetting by Milan Kundera) where a character believes that the if her diary was ever read by someone else it would negate the function of a diary, ruin the therapuetic effect that writing in a diary gave. That idea freaked me out when I read it, I had always had public diaries with feedback from someone else, penpals in highschool, online forums, with SOs, okcupid (when it still had its penpal focus)- feedback is probably my main driver of being vulnerable, I think. This is a character aspect / flaw of mine, I think.
Mike Birbiglia is a comedian who has a special called "My Secret Public Diary". Obviously he is my favorite comedian, I steal a lot of my public speaking style from him. Repetition, callbacks, timings, speaking tics- but my hunch is that there is also a propensity to paint one's life in a way that's most entertaining, whether self-deprecating or containing borderline sensitive information.
I am telling a story for a local podcast storytelling show next week in front of 700 people (these shows sell out, quick). I'm psyched because they sought me out for it. One of the great contradictions about me is that I feel most comfortable when I'm speaking publicly in front of a bunch of strangers. It's a flaw, but I know I'm going to kill it.
There is nothing I want more in the world than a full time 9-5 desk job.
Fuck me, I need to be more grateful.
I have to admit that my current 9 - 5 desk job because I didn't give a shit about where I was applying to and what position I applied for. The one I currently have came from a complete joke (admittedly, it helped that I was insane at the time). I applied for a Front End Developer position with a resume that listed the skills I didn't have as "things I would learn in a coding bootcamp" (i think someone here is a frontender and just threw up in their mouth), and they obviously rejected me. But then they called me for another position that they had a month later, I tried it out and failed that. Then they called me in a 3rd time and now I have my current job that I just complained about that I'm probably going to be fired from last week but whatever- I fit into the world somehow. I promise I'll respect my job more.
Fuck that food service job, man. Pissed me off reading about it.
Your resume sounds impressive as hell. I have an Ivy friend who said he applied to 200 financial places to get to the job he has, and his resume is the most impressive one I've seen in my life. I can't tell if he's lying about how many applications, but it did kind of insert the idea in my mind that there is a numbers game involved. I applied to 10 places, but in a city I've lived in my whole life. I also read an article a week ago about how someone made a bot that applied him to (500?) places. kleinbl00s 2nd point is something I will corroborate on, I did not realize the power of THE PEOPLE YOU'RE A LITTLE ACQUAINTED WITH but it is underrated, should be the stat that I wish people told me to focus on in Life RPG.
Probably weird to write about an ex from years ago, but it was fun to think back on.
Your username reminds me
Of a short sleeper I admired
With 4 hours of sleep
She got all that she required
All the extra time she had
Went towards the hobbies she underwent
Her arts, her cello, her long distance friends
Consider it time well spent
Plus she went through books unbelievably fast
With retention way better than my own
Was also an anomaly when she spoke
Her rhetorical brilliance well known
I felt embarassed when we had sex
With 20 waking hours to my 16
She was THAT practiced at everything
A genius that can make a scene
An architect of arousal
In public places and / or the car
Open with fears and fetishes
Role reversal and lots of scars
But she once told me that whenever I slept
That I looked troubled and terrified
It's stuck with me since then
I guess I can't hide all anxieties from the outside
She made me feel small
But I'm alright with that
I wonder where she is now
Probably disappointed that I'm now fat
April Fools joke over. Sorry if you missed it.
Alaskans grow up just learning about the (9.2 earthquake in 1964)[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1964_Alaska_earthquake]. I wonder if Hawaiians cover this in their education system.