I am a web designer who enjoys the shit out of his internet addiction. I also run the literary journal lit.cat, the Alaskan food truck website savory.af, and work under the name thefuture.design. PM me for nudes.
it's me- your favorite foo'
The mister wee (to the woo)
checkin that day old pubski
cause my wheel ain't blue
yo i don't do haiku
i ain't no vernacular jew
if syllables make you happy
i'll give you something to chew
rhymes make the ultimate roux
a hearty poetry stew
i put haikus on litcat to show
they're arbitrary spew
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I'm the total opposite- what's the appeal of conversational podcasts? I hate hate hate them with a vengeance, they're longer, undirected, and feel lazy- a waste of the medium. They make me feel like I'm hanging out with two other people and they've locked me out of the conversation. The Hilarious World of Depression is my biggest offender of the medium, it feels like it's narrating over the discussion to insult my intelligence. This is probably just me.
Here's the thing for me as a web designer- the heaviest things in 99% of websites are never in the code, they're always in the images. Those extra 2mbs when someone in marketing forgets to resize the images add up, super fast. Why are kbs so important to web devs?
Notes from my first chess tournament (incomplete, but already a wall of text):
1. Chess games in tournaments are very long. Each player in a game is given 90 minutes, with 30 seconds added with each move. Most of my games were at least 3 hours long.
I was skeptical about being able to handle it, but it turns out that you spend all of that time thinking about the game. This is the type of time that just evaporates, leaving you wanting more.
2. I can tell that I'm hooked on something when I need to piss really badly but I still want to do the thing I'm doing. That day, I had a wonderful attacking position, my pieces preventing my opponent from mobilizing his own troops, the possibilities for a successful checkmate seeming endless.
I eventually rushed to the bathroom, but I was so lost in thought that I accidentally entered the women's restroom first.
3. The game of chess, in my mind (and at my level), is a three step war with yourself of figuring out when you're done calculating a line of moves, when you're done exploring new lines, and when you're done figuring out which move to ultimately make. This process is couched in your ultimate knowledge of the game, i.e. should I use the opening I'm more familiar with?, should I play for the tactics or for the position?, what is my plan right now?, etc.
The way I play chess mirrors the creative process I have when it comes to design- my first instinct is to do the cool stuff- sacrifices, tactics, ways to break the rules. I start by convincing myself out of these things until I get to moves that would be more reasonable for the position. But if I do find something that shows a glimmer of promise, I'll defend the hell out of it against my better judgement.
4. Because of how much time you're given, my strategy coming into the tournament was to come up with rules of thumb at the beginning of each game.
For my round 1, my rules were:
- Don't get distracted by the fact that you're playing against a 9 year old.
- Don't get distracted by the fact that you're playing in a tournament.
- Play so that you can learn something critical for round 2.
For round 2, my rules were:
- Take 10 seconds to breath before you confirm each move.
- Play the style of chess that you feel the most comfortable with.
- Don't get distracted by the fact that you're playing against a 9 year old girl.
5. Do not underestimate the aptitude of youth combined with scheduled practice. Children have an accellerated understanding of the language of chess- calculations, principles, tactical and positional ideas. You are simply a plaything in the maelstrom of their creative expression.
But don't forget- children are human. If they make funny faces at you, you are obligated to make funny faces back at them.
6. Sleep deprivation has a equalizing effect on my mind. Ideas, instincts, and doubts are all dampened so that they all feel similar. This has been helpful for me since high school for getting certain types of work done, especially creative efforts where I'm not sure where to start.
Being sleep deprived in a tournament game was a complete fiasco for me. Those instincts and doubts need to stay sharp in a long game, because I kept experiencing the dillenma where certain moves felt good even though I had already deduced that they were terrible. Make sure you get a good night's sleep.
7. I went 1.5 / 4, in an under 1800 rated bracket. I won my first game against a 1290, lost 3 games, and drew my last game after being offered a draw, against a 1190. There was only 1 game a day, I have no idea how people do 2 games a day, my mental stamina felt withered to the bone by day 5. I couldn't think straight by day 4, like I was in a cloud. The tournament was a lot of fun, and I did so much better than I thought I would do. I highly recommend entering a chess tournament if you get the chance.
Devac I'll show the games at request, I'm a little embarrassed/too lazy to put them in lichess after already going over the board with them
I have less than one month left in Montreal. I don't really have a plan for afterwards, but I secured a really comfy contract, so I can travel. I'm applying to an internship for my favorite podcast, (in the same spirit as applying for Chessbrah), but I can't put all my eggs into this basket. Thinking about going to Brooklyn anyways. Or maybe giving Portland a shot.
10 notes from a month into my Chessbrah internship in Montreal:
1. An obsession for perfection is what separates the very best players from everyone else- it becomes a constant in one's life, whereas discipline and passion will naturally fluctuate.
2. There once was a Canadian chess player who got so drunk before a game that he fell asleep in the middle of it, woke up, and pissed onto the board thinking that he was in the bathroom.
3. It always seems really impressive to me whenever I hear a child speak in French, even though its probably the only language they know how to speak.
4. Most poker tournaments aren't there to prove who the best poker player is. Most poker tournaments are gambling events where you might get 1st place. The strong poker players avoid playing against each other to prey on the people who play in those tournaments for fun.
5. You can get a case of 12 watter bottles for $1.99 CAD. Why is water so cheap here?
6. The Elo rating system is a great way to assess any skill you can think of. I'm a 1200 at cooking, a 1400 at Melee, a 1800 at pinball, a 1900 at design, etc. People with average ratings think that the next level is always slightly within reach. The higher Elo rating you have, the more you understand how wide each gap really is.
7. There are only 4 authors in Canada who can live off their published work in bookstores.
8. If you're from the US traveling to Canada, don't tell immigration services that you're self-employed, especially if you're staying for longer than a month. It just looks like you're trying to become a Canadian citizen illegally.
9. There was a period where you couldn't access Twitch.tv through one of Canada's major internet providers. So, yeah, that's what not having net neutrality does.
10. A conversation I overheard while I was at Westcott Books on its last day before it closed:
Are you sure you don't want any booze? For the occasion.
Beer or wine?
Red or white?
I don't know, I like red I guess.
Good or bad?
Bad, so I don't drink so much that I wake up hungover next morning.
One thing I remember from my early childhood is that I had an uncle who had an NES system with Legend of Zelda 2 and Super Mario Bros 3. I was a pretty lucky kid who had a Super Nintendo and a Nintendo 64, but I loved going to my uncle's house to play on the older system.
Definitely get a Wii. The best part about is the backwards compatibility with Gamecube games. You have two generations worth of Nintendo games to play with.
For the Gamecube, I recommend Mario Kart Double Dash, Animal Crossing, and WarioWare, Inc.: Mega Party Game$!.
For the Wii, I recommend Super Mario Galaxy, WarioWare: Smooth Moves, and Punch-Out!!