Well it’s morning here, but I’m quite tempted to pour myself a glass of whiskey anyways for this pubski. It feels like forever since I made this post:

I returned home about a month after posting. I spent quite a bit of time thinking about the advice from ThatFanficGuy, goobster, and kleinbl00. In the end, for various reasons, the time wasn’t right to further pursue opportunities out there. Partially I was just so far out in the boonies with no real opportunities for advancement/networking/doing anything else. Mostly I just didn’t trust myself to actually execute any of the big ideas I had developed since that post.

I did a somewhat desperate search for other options and landed on going to business school. Which let me tell you, is a discordant path for me. I’ve spent quite a long time with a strong dislike towards the typical finance/consulting bros that gravitate towards MBA programs and the overall culture that they seem to have. That being said, the more I’ve researched and talked to people the more I think it is the right path.

Anyways, the whole point of all this context is that I’ve had a pretty significant life change while in the application process. I struggled HARD to write a single goddamn thing for essays. I have so many damn ideas and stories to tell but simply couldn’t sit down and put them on paper, despite spending hours in front of my computer. I’ve always had trouble focusing on things in the past, especially writing (which has been a large reason I don’t post often here), and this was the final straw. I talked to a doctor, who diagnosed me with ADHD and prescribed meds (shoutout to the SF VA, this all happened within 24 hours).

This was about a week ago, and I just have such an incredibly hard time putting into words how life changing this has been. I mean HOLY SHIT. The ability to have a task, that I want and need to do, and ACTUALLY BE ABLE TO DO IT?? I used to spend hours/days on the simplest things, blaming myself the whole time for being extraordinarily lazy. The first couple paragraphs of this article could easily have been about me. And the other things, my god. My head feels calm, like a storm has cleared. I can actually listen to people, process what they’re saying, and respond coherently. I went to a climbing gym and actually enjoyed it-I feel like I’ve been going through the motions for years. I can’t remember the last time that I wasn’t immediately bored after the first climb.

It feels like a key has opened the rest of my life. I’ve been extraordinarily lucky in a lot of ways, and I dragged myself kicking and screaming through a career and life that has set me up well. And now I feel able to accomplish the things I’ve always dreamed of. In the past week, I’ve either interviewed at or have received invitations for every single school that I’ve applied to (including several schools I never ever dreamed I would be able to attend). Feeling happy and hopeful.

Anyways here’s a nice picture from bouldering on the beach:

I don't fully understand what I am looking at but it looks like it takes an incredible amount of hard work, skill, and attention to detail. I would wager that it working the first time was very much due to your high ability. I don't think I would be overstepping to say that hubski is quite proud of you.

He is.

well that was quite fun to listen to. I have a friend who just went through his commercial pilot license over at ATP in livermore so I've been hearing all about flying in the bay-seems amazing. I'll be on lookout for citabrias!

speculation on point

I talked in a past pubski about how I felt a general lack of purpose and desire to do more. The feeling has gnawed at me for ages... I lost all interest in medicine and have quite my program. So I returned to Ukraine about a month ago. The sense of purpose is back and I feel more content than I have in the past 6 months of comfy living going to school in San Francisco. It's been a great time, working with interesting people for a shared positive reason. It's a completely different vibe than the last time I was here-the country (at least the area I am in) has settled into wartime in a weirdly easygoing way. There are plenty of oddities- I watched a Kalibr missile fly past me the other day, just cruising along at an incredibly low altitude.

That being said I know I can only do this for so long. This organization has zero ability for forward progression and the work is very repetitive. For my actual career I have no idea what I truly want to do. I want to do more and achieve more but hell I have no idea what that would look like. I have the conflicting goals of wanting to work in remote areas/emergencies and building a family with a solid home life. I've been advised to work with a career counselor, which I guess can't hurt. After a decade of being so sure of my path it's a weird place to be.

I'm so sorry man. I know how hard and rare it can be to meet someone you're truly excited about. And how difficult it can be to slowly realize it won't work out. We tell ourselves so many things to try and make it work, but in the end for whatever reason some things just aren't right-and it fucking sucks. Wishing you the best

Everything counts. Putin and his cronies will pay eventually, in part to donations like yours.

героям слава

It's scary how quickly a dependence on alcohol creeps up on you. So many of these social situations you feel like you have to drink. Then it becomes habit, and not just on weekends-pitfall of socializing. I most often relapse when I'm living/staying with others-it's hard not to drink when it becomes an integral part of your socialization. I hope moving back helps-a change in scenery can often help kick the habit.

Congrats man! Hope you're already sitting happy in Brussels

Along the same vein:

Ah i'm ok with that aspect honestly. Let people feel smug about their donated money, it enables more donations. My hate goes towards those who front that they are altruistic solely as a means to an end. SBF, as further shown by these messages, is a prime example.

This is the epitome of Silicon Valley altruism. Everyone’s start up is going to change the world and help out millions of disadvantaged people. But it’s all about money and power, what a farce. At least I now have a solid thing to point towards when people ask why I originally left the Bay Area and why I will always stay away from tech.

You're 100% right and I've known it for a while. For some reason it's harder to pull myself from them then it really should be.

Ah yeah, everything about this tracks. I hope the nightmare does have an effect for the better. I've seen some libertarian's change their mind after reality set in. Some, not many

Hey man BFX made his comment in good faith. This could have opened a discussion about the incident and maybe improved a fault of this community. Instead this cynicism is quite rude to him and contributes nothing.

I'm coming up on a year out of the military and have spent a bit of time reflecting. I always heard about guys getting out and feeling lost and without purpose. I always thought I'd have a little of that but it turns out it's been an overarching theme this entire year. The truth is nothing really feels like it matters. There's no sense of purpose, no stakes, no objective. Going to school is beyond bland and most dates I've been on just feel meh. I strongly dislike how much this sentiment is leaking into my life but I just can't seem to help it. The weeks I did in Ukraine were the closest I felt to satisfaction. The last thing I want to do is spend my life chasing more but it looks like it may happen anyways-I'm working through details of going back shortly. I'm meeting up with a Ranger Regiment guy who got out 10 years ago next week and am hoping he can provide a little guidance. I have a lot of decisions to make in the next couple months and am unsure on a lot of fronts. It looks like I may forego the medical school path in favor of nurse practitioner or physician assistant.

Fortunately, there's a lot of good. This summer I worked as a camp counselor at a camp I went to as a kid. Despite being one of the oldest people there, older than most of my supervisors in-fact, I was able to settle into the role really well and had an extremely restorative summer. I'm thinking I'll go back to work there in the future, it's by far one of my favorite places on the planet with one of the best communities around. Trying to work out how I take a summer off from now until eternity and still have a career. I've recently moved to San Francisco and so far absolutely love the city. I'm living in a great area with fantastic roommates and have started to build a small community, something I often lacked with the constant moves of the military.

Dating in a city is something I've never quite experienced to this level (at least in one where everyone speaks english). I've been on quite a few dates, it seems there are plenty of options. So far though most have fell fairly flat. I had drinks with a women a few or two ago who worked at Meta and spent a good 20 minutes talking about how the company wasn't really that bad. I do feel like I'm chasing the ghost of my ex and hope I can just move on from that eventually. I think I'm going to delete dating apps and take a break-they feel so hollow and 9/10 I come out with a bad taste in my mouth.

All in all life is pretty dang good, just need to ponder some decisions. No place quite like the pub..ski

I'm not a fan of this take. While I barely participate, the times I do mean more to me than anywhere else on the internet. The pace is slow here and that is ok. Many recent posts have very good thorough discussions. If you remove hubski then you remove the community that it created-sure you can still interact with individuals but will you interact with the collective?

Jesus, a decimation of young males. So much for learning from our mistakes

300,000 conscripted troops with a possibility of 700,000 more means a TON of possible deserters. Russia has an officer driven military. Those officers will be very few and far in-between and in charge of keeping large numbers of conscripts in line. The Russian logistical network is also rough, and I highly doubt they'll be able to keep up with 300,000 new people. Which basically means:

1. Executions for deserters will skyrocket

2. Food, medicine, and supplies will be minimal. Including winter gear..

3. The Ukrainian POW system is going to be overrun with people. They are probably taking better care of prisoners than the Russians (recent footage from prisoner exchanges have been horrid). But not that much better.

Best option is to get out before they can snag you. Deserting is the last ditch of all attempts.

Wait you're using allnodes? I would not have guessed that you are using a third-party staking service.

On another note staking is a lot more accessible nowadays with the prominence of liquid staking derivatives.