I talked in a past pubski about how I felt a general lack of purpose and desire to do more. The feeling has gnawed at me for ages... I lost all interest in medicine and have quite my program. So I returned to Ukraine about a month ago. The sense of purpose is back and I feel more content than I have in the past 6 months of comfy living going to school in San Francisco. It's been a great time, working with interesting people for a shared positive reason. It's a completely different vibe than the last time I was here-the country (at least the area I am in) has settled into wartime in a weirdly easygoing way. There are plenty of oddities- I watched a Kalibr missile fly past me the other day, just cruising along at an incredibly low altitude.
That being said I know I can only do this for so long. This organization has zero ability for forward progression and the work is very repetitive. For my actual career I have no idea what I truly want to do. I want to do more and achieve more but hell I have no idea what that would look like. I have the conflicting goals of wanting to work in remote areas/emergencies and building a family with a solid home life. I've been advised to work with a career counselor, which I guess can't hurt. After a decade of being so sure of my path it's a weird place to be.