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comment by ThurberMingus
ThurberMingus  ·  364 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: And the prompt was: Hubski Poetry

Just posting this before I start thinking about it too much

    We few

Stand in the shed playing dsm roulette, thats you

but not me i'm just paranoid. Who can't watch horror they're too jumpy

who likes to 'cause it's worth the laugh.

Dad watches fireflies alone outside

We happy few

grow branches off the grapevine, greencard marriage, feral cousin

who got knocked up and who can't ever be

Mom traps an in-law in the kitchen

New stories and new faces next time

We band of brothers





lil  ·  363 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    Who can't watch horror they're too jumpy

I think about this a lot. There's so much horror right now and feelings of powerlessness -- yelling "ceasefire now" in every gathering, every day. People being accused of anti-this, anti-that, when we're just anti-slaughter. Compassion, compassion, people. We know this conflict in the Middle East is going to end very badly for a lot of people.

--

But apart from that, I like your poem a lot. ... I'd like a word after "who can't ever be" ??

ThurberMingus  ·  363 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    who got knocked up and who can't ever be

The thought I had was "who can't ever be knocked up because infertility"

I would have never posted this if I tried to edit it. Poetry is too foreign a medium and a couple bits are too raw.