The weirdest thing about my morning routine is I have no morning routine.
Four or five months out of the year I either need to be at work at 5pm, 11am, 8am or 7am or some other random time because weirdness. And as there's a massive bike ride before that, I give myself two hours to get up, pack two changes of clothing, prep 84oz of icewater, eat two salt pills and get on the road.
If my morning is an early morning I'm out the door within 15 minutes of waking up and then I burn 1200 calories. Then I get to work, take a shower, start work, start the coffee, generally grab a breakfast burrito and about a quarter of a pineapple and then settle in for a couple hours. I Facetime my family and turn on the Helicopter Channel, which is a live feed from one of our news copters that streams uninterrupted on the cable plant. Literally 90 minutes of "what's newsworthy" or "what looks cool" according to an airborne reporter and his support crew. I read the news, deal with bills and stuff, and exult in it.
If my morning is not an early morning I either get up in time to have a little coffee before beginning the blitz or having a little coffee and dealing with stuff until it's time to leave at 3. Or, like this morning, I naturally woke up at 7, a mere 4 hours after getting to bed (a 16-mile bike ride at midnight will keep you up a bit), to FaceTime my family.
If it's the other 7 months there's a bit more of a routine - there's a 6-year-old who will be up at 7 but even that's changing because she's starting to read in her room or do art in the living room. Either way, maybe my wife goes running, maybe it's eggs, maybe it's oatmeal, but gotta get the kid out the door which is usually my wife but not if she's been off since 2am delivering a baby. And that hasn't been routine either because for the past year I've been getting up at 5am and pouring the overnight coffee into a thermos and driving 16 miles to class which goes until 11 at which point I eat a wrap in the car to get to the other class which goes until 4 at which point I drive north to pick up the kid.
The only real constant is I check this site.