I'm calling it: A Thoughtful Ale
I used a kit, with the small modification of 2 tablespoons of honey and 2 teaspoons of almond extract added to the boil. -I can't resist messing with things. I'll have to get back to you about the types of hops, there were three kinds, and I can't recall which.
ecib and I are going to brew a stout next, with just the slightest hint of coffee. He roasts his own beans.
I will be back in town in Friday night, leaving again Sunday through Tuesday.
I'm going to roast up a batch of Yirgachef on Saturday which I think will lend itself to a stout...blueberry notes and all that. I think the following weekend would be a good time to cold brew the beans as they need a few days to de-gas after roasting and before brewing.
I've been banging on the door since 6:00 a.m. Couldn't sleep so wandered down here. Bartender, pour me a hot Cuban. I should say café con leche.
I got a book in the mail yesterday from wasoxygen:
I loved the inscription. He wrote: "When I saw a book which mentions the Higgs boson, I thought of you right away." It's amazing what makes people think of me. Long ago if memory serves me at all, flagamuffin was wandering through the galleries of France and saw a Monet or some guy's picture of a silent starry night. He said it made him think of my posts on solitude.
My soundtrack for the day:
Know this, hubski, even though we have never met, you have a parallel existence in someone's imagination.
- Have you ever heard of the Higgs-boson blues?
I'm going down to Geneva to teach it to you.
wow - who knew? maybe thenewgreen
I have an interesting task ahead of me. I have to write to a department of enrollment at my former college requesting they make a semester's grades non-applicable. I dropped out of college halfway through my fifth semester. I was disillusioned with my school, my major, and I was suffering from undiagnosed depression and various substance abuses. It wasn't pretty. And because I was halfway through the semester, I more or less failed every class.
A year after dropping out, I joined a program called AmeriCorps National Civilian Community Corps, and it changed my life. I completed over 2,500 hours of community service and led a team of nine other 18-24 year olds in a year-long program of structured national community service. After the program I continued my service work, doing disaster relief in Detroit for three months and working at a summer camp in upstate Michigan for another six. A result of this rehabilitative process was that school started to appeal to me again. I plan on moving to Colorado and I would love to finish my undergraduate degree there. But I have an ugly semester on my transcript that I think would significantly lower my chances of successfully transferring colleges. I wondered if my alma mater could make the grades of the semester I dropped out of non-applicable.
I told my story to the person who was helping me on the phone today, She explained that making my grades non-applicable for a given semester is not a remedy available to anyone with less than 90 completed credits. I only have 65. I asked her if there was anything else I could do. I think I asked sweetly enough because she said there's a backend way to make the grades moot, and it's if I somehow "unenroll" that semester. She gave me a number that I called, and now I have to write an email to a special lady I've never met at a special department I've never heard requesting a remedy I don't fully understand.
I have to be concise. I have to be clear. I have to be persuasive. I'm looking forward to it, if only because writing clearly and effectively is something I always aspire to. I just wish that so much wasn't riding on it.
Well shit. You crawled back up to the light from a hole of substance abuse and depression? And then gave more than a hundred consecutive days of your time to help others in need, in a desperate situation? And then decided to go on and continue to better yourself by going back to the thing that had driven you into depression and substance abuse, but to do it for the right reasons, to build yourself a future?
And you are worried about writing a little email?!?!?
Seriously. You got this.
Hahaha
Thanks goobster. I can feel the affirmation all the way from over here. I appreciate it.
Feeling very disconnected lately. Even on Hubski, it seems like a lot of things I want to talk about or a lot of the viewpoints I currently hold do not line up with other people. Same thing is happening in real-space, maybe I'm self-alienating right now or becoming a bit more radical in my views. Not sure. But it's getting hard when it feels like you have nobody to talk to or spend time with on a whim because of that and geography.
You're right. I wrote that comment quickly at work and looking back at it now it doesn't come across like I meant. I was trying ascertain whether bfx felt that way due to lack of opportunity to share those feelings/views, or whether it was more a hesitation to share them. I probably should have written that.
My apologies ButterflyEffect if the original reply was uncouth.
Definitely, thank you. To clarify, I'm not super worried about coming across like I'm not saying what I want. It's more of a feeling like nobody is listening or a lack of outlet of people with similar mindsets that are also friends at this point in time.
yeah, maybe I'm suffering from an ongoing expectation hangover. Keep trying to have conversations or raise points and nothing seems to be interpreted the way I intend (parse through recent posts/comments if you'd like). Or the wrong points are being focused on.
Same deal outside of here. Doing all this stuff but it's not really mounting to much socially while meanwhile my existing relationships are kind of subsiding right now at the same time as developing a desire to do things that are more supportive of marginalized groups. maybe I just need more therapy shrug.
this is some super cliched "I just got done watching Perks of Being a Wallflower" shit but Tugboat kind of sums up how I've been feeling lately. It's okay because my love for Galaxie 500 is true and tried.
Morning 'Pubski.
I'm in a weird headspace. I have a plan for the next couple months, an outline of how I want the next couple years to go and, dare I say it, a little hope that I can accomplish those things that I want to do. There are definitely still bad-brain days, but they are fewer, or at least farther between. Something, if it's counseling or working out more regularly, or something I can't put my finger on, is having a positive effect. That should be a good and positive thing to say, but it feels like there's an emptiness where lots of animosity once was. The fact that said animosity was almost entirely directed at myself has little to no bearing on how I feel about the resulting apathy. Maybe I've mentioned this before, but as I gain more discipline (I think I am anyway) and meditate more, I become more tangibly aware of the disconnect between 'Things I want/need/should do' and 'Things my body wants to do.' I can feel the horse buck and pull as the rider applies the reins. I'm not sure how typical/atypical this is, but meditation in general puts me in better connection with all of me, good and bad, primal and 'sophisticated.'
Maybe it's just late-winter getting to me. Counseling appointment tonight, first one in several weeks. I'm glad I decided to space them out, rather than stop all together.
Also blackbootz I think I figured out a half-decent form for my kettlebell swings. Starting with one hand and alternating between sets is somehow easier than using both, at least for me.
I wonder what the effect on you would be if you were to take up mentoring. Have you said that you have mentored before? I remember someone saying that they joined a Big Brother Big Sister club, but I don't remember who.
I find that the act of mentoring is not only beneficial to the mentee, but to the mentor as well. And not just in a spiritual sense, though there's that and it's often sufficient. But imparting a life's lessons is the process of reflecting, collecting, and distilling, and it often leads to a more matured understanding of obstacles and blockages that plague us today.
And you're doing one-handed kb swings? That sounds tough, I've no experience with it. But after doing a long session of swings, I find that squatting makes me feel super tingly. That's as sophisticated as I can make it sound.
I've never been in a formalized mentor/mentee role, but I am the oldest of five boys and there is a certain amount of pragmatism that I've tried to impress upon my younger brothers.
Truthfully I don't think of myself as a good teacher. I have this tendency to just make people feel stupid.
I like to think I'm a different person than the guy who wrote that, but I can't be THAT different.Also the one handed swing isn't that tough. My 'bell is only 10lbs.
You're very welcome! I wish I could remember where I heard it the first time. But I find it very accurate to describe my attitude towards exercise.
To quote Stranger in a Strange Land (Because I don't do that enough)
- "It is almost impossible to shake off one's earliest training. Duke, can you get it through your skull that if you had been brought up by Martians, you would have the same attitude toward eating and being eaten that Mike has?"
My earliest training taught me that physical exertion, especially exertion that caused me to sweat or raise my heart rate and blood pressure was to be avoided by any and all means necessary. To intentionally, independently and regularly exercise I am fighting a decade and a half of 'Don't exert yourself!' and a half-decade of sneering at 'gym rats.'
Hmm. I'm much too young and inexperienced to lead such thoughtful lives as you all, but I'll share a few of my happenings this week. Could I get a coffee first? Like a sane person on a Wednesday morning?
I got into an argument on the Internet a couple days ago. It really is a losing battle - I have no doubt now that many people don't interact with the real world. The topic brought up was how the newest generation of feminism is more harmful than this whole Roosh V debacle. Which is bat shit insane to me, I don't think I've even met a woman who wants to legalize any kind of violence against men. In the end, the conversation devolved into insulting me instead of my arguments, so I count it as a win.
Interestingly, they assumed I was a man arguing for feminism. I'm not sure if that's a step in the right direction.
On another note, I have been realizing how hard it is to have empathy for people who don't have the same sense of self as I do. I am currently watching one of my friends self-destruct for a guy she slept with for a while. It just boggles my mind that she can throw herself at his feet constantly. Two months of every single conversation being about him and I'm ready to throw in the towel. Perhaps I'm missing out on not being able to have that level of devotion to anyone... But seriously?! I think I'll pass.
But maybe I'm not as practical as I think, because I'd really like a date with Johnny Gaudreau. Always gotta have dreams.
Yo, thanks. Thanks for that. It's great adding to the mental image I have of each of these usernames here.
I would add that it isn't impossible to have an honest, life-altering experience, fight even, on the internet. It just requires an openness and commitment to listening that doesn't come naturally, even in meat space, let alone behind keyboards and screens. I've had my head inverted and mind blown, here on hubski in particular. It just has happened more often in real life.
I've gotten to the point where I just won't argue feminism online anymore. So many communities have built up an image of what a feminist is without seriously interacting with feminists, feminist literature, or any feminist ideals, and it's just too frustrating. No one wins in those arguments.
Are you close enough to your friend to talk to her about it? You might be able to talk some sense into her.
I KNOW. It's hard to keep striving to understand another perspective when the other side won't afford you the same.
Tried and failed. She has some other family issues that are the reason I want to stay and support her... But I feel like a pop tart would be more useful/emotionally resilient at this point!
There's nothing quite so good at forcing me to think about the future than a job fair. Today and yesterday I talked and listened to two dozen or so recruiters from a range of companies. I mostly looked into consultancy, strategic planning, project management and whatever is related to infrastructure and transportation. Not quite unsurprisingly, but the engineering and technical companies I talked to were much more eagerly looking for talent than the urban planning related companies I've talked to in the past.
I'm glad I have more than enough time to find something that interests me, though. The biggest lesson for me is that I still don't know what the hell I want to do, but at least I know better what I don't want to do.
late to the pub, but oh well.
I think I finally went through my "male rite of passage" on monday. My dad has been home for about 6 months (he was previously in pakistan for 2 years taking care of my grandfather, and before was gone for 10 years, and spent 3 years in a maximum security prison; although im proud as to why he did). Anyways, he has had a horrible addiction to alcohol which has resulted in about 13 or so years of separation. When he came back he said he wasn't going to drink, but inevitably did. He went through mostly hard times during these 6 months, and though there were a few weeks where he cleaned up his act, it was inevitably a failure. Now on monday we were supposed to go see about a certain store, and develop our opinion as to purchasing the store, but my dad was drunk right before we were about to go. So after a few arguments we decided not to go, and grab take-out from various places. Afterwards, when we finished our food in the living room, i went to the kitchen to go grab some ice cream and my mom comes to me and says he's drinking in the living room. At this point i got extremely, and in hindsight, unreasonably pissed. so i grab my dad and did something incredibly terrible; i throw him downstairs, and kick him out for about 5 minutes or so. when my anger subsided, which was rather quick, i went downstairs, opened the door and we talked, and we went upstairs and we talked. he talked about leaving at that moment, me and my brother realized his importance and all the hardships he went through, and then i saw his excruciating injuries and then we hugged and kissed, i slept with him, and i had never felt so close to my dad. then on tuesday, he decides to leave, but doesn't, and decides that he'll leave once we're setup with the store. i'm still shocked at my own actions (im an incredibly passive person) and my dad is. he's still drinking, and i think its better not to stop him and suppress his happiness, rather get on with my own life and build a successful life.
- I think I finally went through my "male rite of passage" on monday.
Karamazov - I've heard a version of this story from several men. Usually the dad was beating up on the mom. The son finally was bigger than his dad and stronger. The son goes between the dad and the mom and says, "If you hit her again, I'm going to beat the shit out of you."
And yes, after that day, the domestic violence stopped.
I heard that story from two men who had grown up and, guess what, became English teachers. Coincidence? Who knows?
In your case, yes, get on with your own life - and let your experience strengthen you and make you wiser.
Rites of passage, indeed.
Best of luck to you buddy, I think you're doing the right thing.
I started journaling. It's been enlightning and (fuck my vocabulary; "ease-making" is what I mean to say) to write the stuff of my mind off with constance. I used to talk about such stuff online, and Hubski was one of the victims of such outbursts due to its comfortable atmosphere and good people, but journaling is a whole new level of self-expression for me. For once, I don't even have the catalyst of worrying what others might think of me, so I can write precisely as intimate and as sincere as I want - and so far, this kind of thing only provoked thought, which is what I require most right now.
I also had a dream that turned me inside out when I woke up. I was in some sort of a prison when my old friend (whom I haven't seen for years) came to me; I put a gun to his head (seeing how, within a dream, I had some sort of a reason to be afraid of him), and he only dares me to shoot, knowing full well that I won't. After that, he leads me to what appears to be my apartment, and what happens next puts me into emotional overdrive: there are dozens of people, welcoming me home, every single one of them with a sincere and warm smile the kinds of which I've only seen in movies... My mother is a narcissist, which entails some of the worst associations in my head - and I hugged her dearly when I came back. Weakened by emotions, I was walked outside, into another room where others still were waiting for me; when I was walked in, every single one of them cheered up in a way I saw no one cheer for me before - sincerely, warmly, with great care for my well-being... I remember hugging my deceased grandparents as dearly as I could, crying on their shoulders like I only did so rarely - and in this moment, I realized that I'm crying in reality, as well, at night, hugging the pillow...
Something clicked inside, afterwards. I don't know what - but it was enlightening. Rarely did I ever have as much fun with my groupmates as I did in the last two days. I guess I see relationships I'm a part of better, clearer now. I came to appreciate spending good time with people despite how imperfect they are. Despite the modern cliche, people are important and you can't prosper on your own. Partaking in the group activities gives me energy, and I'm an introvert. While it's not the most important part, having people like you is good.
A lot of stuff happened in the last few days, but my laptop battery is failing... or it was, at the time of writing the thing. I didn't manage to get the foodcourt Wi-Fi again before the laptop required nutritioning (is that a word?), so what you see is a glimpse into the past. Welcome to quantum linguistics.
Urban Outfitters made the order for our beard oil! It's great new, now we have to not fuck it up. It's going to be a challenge considering we're in Asia right now, but my boyfriend's sister said she'll help out. We only have 2 weeks to do it, I wish they gave us a little more time.
I'm a bit behind on the vlogs since i/ve been having all sorts or technical problems but I think i'll be a able to catch up to the present in a couple days! Here's the one I released yesterday, that's actually filmed on the 12th...
Currently editing the 15th :D
Went to a drive-through car wash on Sunday. Most fun I've had in years.
First day going for a run after a week-long break (I injured my leg 2 weeks ago). I noticed the lack of exercise and I am glad I am back. Running has its similarities to meditation, you can concentrate on your steps and see where it takes you.
My boss gave me green light for a 3 week holiday. I am flying home and to the burn in June! :)
Decided to take a long break from weed. Last weekend I had a hit and did not enjoy it. I think something might have changed in my brain (or myself?) that is turning my experiences very bad.
I like people who deliberately say provocative things. I tend to do the same. It's fun and funny, not to mention challenging.
I'm dating one of those people right now. Over the weekend he said, as if in passing, "I'm anti-abortion." I stopped him, and asked him. He said, "I'm anti-abortion because at the end of the day, my opinion doesn't matter." He was right in this instance from the angle that, as a man, his opinion as to whether a woman, any woman, including a woman he has impregnated, should have the baby or not doesn't matter. The person who gets to decide to keep a child is the person with the child actually growing inside of it.
However, as a person dating _refugee_, he was entirely wrong to say, "I can be anti-abortion if I want because my opinion at the end of the day doesn't matter." To refugee, it matters 100% - NOT in the way that it would force my decision if I became pregnant, but as in "I want to date someone with similar morals and thoughts." I went back to the statement after he tried to flippantly dismiss it. I explained, "I need to know why you say you are anti-abortion, because I am not comfortable dating someone who claims to be such."
We settled the discussion down to the point of, "He doesn't believe abortion should be used as first-line birth control," but were unable to continue it due to time restraints. FWIW, yes, loves, I already know why this is a stupid reason to be anti-abortion and am aware that the vast majority of abortions are not used as such and so on. We talked about how an abortion is not without its own costs and how it might be foolish to think of abortions as generally/widely being used as first-line birth control.
This is one of my non-negotiables. I cannot, refuse to date someone who is or claims to be anti-abortion because to me, if you are against abortion, you are not only against a specific course of action, but you are opposed to my life and its existence in its current form.
I think at the end of the day S/O is not really anti-abortion, but I am not comfortable with him flinging the phrase around that he is, even if it's not true, either.
- I like people who deliberately say provocative things. I tend to do the same. It's fun and funny, not to mention challenging.
Oh oh pick me!
- I'm dating one of those people right now. Over the weekend he said, as if in passing, "I'm anti-abortion." I stopped him, and asked him. He said, "I'm anti-abortion because at the end of the day, my opinion doesn't matter." He was right in this instance from the angle that, as a man, his opinion as to whether a woman, any woman, including a woman he has impregnated, should have the baby or not doesn't matter. The person who gets to decide to keep a child is the person with the child actually growing inside of it.
I disagree with everything in this paragraph, I think.
Just got 2nd postcard in which it is mentioned that boyfriend was "blessedly wonderful."
- This is one of my non-negotiables.
So how about this idea: Don't make a big deal out of it. My grandfather stated firmly, "Love is usually not based on common mentalities and similarity of religious and social ideologies."
S/O will gradually get more educated through life experience and perhaps personal interest. Many men don't really get "women's" issues. A lot of their ideology is just ignorant babbling.
Chances are, more likely, that this is just the tip of the iceberg and one day you'll move on to someone who shares more ideology with you.
Eh, I wrote that postcard in January.
lets just say I set myself up for failure in my romantic choices because that's easier than us failing for reasons outside my control, eh? Yeah. Current s/o and I are likely to break up. Things I'd like to talk about in that regard? Closing in on 0.
- Eh, I wrote that postcard in January.
I think you and flags should have a meetup. also bfx. I'm not suggesting a three-way, but they each seem pretty adorable in their own 30-years-younger-than-me way. Did I say 30? I think I mean oh fergettaboutit.
- lets just say I set myself up for failure in my romantic choices because that's easier than us failing for reasons outside my control, eh?
Note: Hubski, this is a private conversation. Just go away or we'll take it to pm/IRC.
Damn, I hope I can make steve spit out his cheerios giggling. If not, is life worth living?
who wants to write my thesis for me? anyone? :)
You don't have to leave the pub, but you should
Probably check out the latest #meethubski while you enjoy your drink.
In order to successfully install an iLok asset, such as a plugin or software suite, you must perform the following tasks:
1) Fire up iLok License Manager
2) Sign in
3A) Check for deposited licenses
OR
3B)(1) pull down "enter a code"
3B)(2) Enter a 16-digit hexadecimal code provided via email etc
4) Highlight the desired license
5) Transfer to your iLok
6) Click "yes"
7) Wait
8) Click "OK"
9) Close iLok License Manager
10) Locate the licensed plugin on the web
11) Download it via VM, because you're on a PC and you might get cooties
12) Transfer the executable from your VM sandbox to your desktop temp file because your VM sandbox doesn't have executable permissions
13) Click the executable
14) Specify the AAX path
15) Specify the VST32 path
16) Specify the VST64 path
17) Tell it not to make a desktop shortcut
18) Close
19) Fire up Pro Tools
20) Allow it to go through its plugin check
21) Wait for the splash screen for the plugin you just installed
22) Click "Activate"
23) Login to iLok
24) Specify where you have activated the license (doesn't matter if you only have one iLok plugged in, it still asks)
25) Wait for iLok to do its transferry thing
26) Open your test file
27) Check to make sure the plugin is in the menu
28) Instantiate it on a track
29) Play a drum machine through it to make sure it works
30) Close
31) Save
32) GOTO 1
_____________________________________________________________________
The new computer has 108 iLok license assets and counting. So yeah. That was my day.
Aside from one of the routers refusing to serve up DHCP, so all that shit was over wireless, too.
Hey, at least I'm going to yoga tomorrow.
Yoga! Hell yea.
See if you can go for the wheel.
108 iLok license transplants sounds like it took a while sitting. Unless you're on one of those fancy standing desks.
Interview for a job at 3. Any advice?
The interview is done. I think it went well. Now the waiting game...
What perspective can you bring to the company? What can you add that they don't already have, or what other candidates don't have?
It's a tricky question but also one of the more important ones. Nailing that question down gives you a direction to steer the conversation to.
My degree came from an Interdisciplinary program. Little did I know that 'Interdisciplinary' is becoming a hot hot hot buzzword, especially in medicine and medical research.
Part of what makes me such an appealing researcher (Who works with patients) is all the stuff beyond hard sciences that I studied. (A small) Part of what makes me so good at recruiting patients is my sales experience.
The application process can make one feel like they are only those things that prospective employers are looking for/ are screening out. But there's this whole other huge category of 'Valuable, but unknown' stuff that gets thrown out in the process, which could help. (Or harm, full disclosure)
I agree. Originally, I wanted to add 'tangible, or intangible' to the question.
My master's degree is interdisciplinary by nature. There's not a single course where I won't work with someone from a different faculty. I think being able to communicate with all sorts of fields is a very underappreciated skill, especially among engineers. Some don't realize that "no man is an island" until they've been working for a few years.