Put in my 30 day notice with work. I feel really, really good about it. The "corruption" and my frustration with the management aside, it's been such a good experience and I've learned a hell of a lot. One of my friends will be taking my job, so I'm glad I can leave this property in good hands and a little bit sorry he wanted to do it despite my warnings. This Friday will determine what my next step is, but either way, it's time for me to move on to bigger and better things... somewhere else.
Probably going to dissolve the nonprofit I co-created within the next 2 months. We're seeing if we can replace the board completely before we all bow out and I don't think anyone will be willing. Another awesome learning experience. We weren't successful in the sense that we did not extend our reach as far as we had dreamed or employ anyone, but we did provide free dental care to around 200 homeless/low-income veterans, and that's something.
Just a nice transition period. On to the next phase of my life!
I'm in the Atlanta suburbs for a good ole fashion shoot. I love that I do a week on set at least once a year and never more than 3 times a year. This shit is exhausting.
I woke up at 5am yesterday, on set by 8pm, wrap by 7pm, straight to dinner with executives, back to the hotel around 10pm, shower, 2 hours of work to prep for today, and back on set by 8am.
I am exhausted and braindead. But the days fly by and there is never a dull moment. And shit is being CREATED.
Been an insane week.
Smelled smoke one night at like 3am, turned out there was a sizable fire in a (large, plastic) trashcan in the bathroom downstairs, smoke everywhere. Someone I lived with had put a cigarette out or something... I yelled fire and someone else pulled an alarm, but I pulled/kicked the trashcan into the shower and turned on the water before I ran out. Firefighters said that was a smart move :). One hell of a scare.
Then the other night my girlfriend called me over to help with a unstable and sketchy domestic situation in the building she RA's. Really scary to see the stuff you hear about in real life...
On top of all that, been fucking up my sleep schedule trying to get on top of finals. And despite all the work, I'm still not going to pass one of my classes. But whatever, life goes on.
It's all over by Monday, then some vacation time with my best buddies. Can't freakin wait.
sips beer and sighs
Still left with a lot of questions about who I am too.
finishes beer
Thanks for listening hubski
(Thanks!) Hmm, that's really annoying, could it be a carbon monoxide alarm?
Gotta say, a few of my housemates didn't react to the fire alarm until we all came running downstairs screaming "get out!", which is kinda frightening, some people are conditioned to think - "oh its probably a prank, or a drill, or a some other reason I shouldn't react". Hard to judge when the real thing is happening... Be safe!
Yeah, that's why we opened all the windows. One room is locked and might have someone sleeping in it - we can't tell, he won't answer our calls, but it isn't fire because we'd have noticed that by now. I really hope it is not something awful. Chance is slim, though.
Our fire alarm goes off at least once a week because someone cooks terribly. Whenever it goes on for longer or more often than that, people do react, thankfully. It does help that our fire alarm is about as loud as an air horn - can't really be ignored. Which makes it all the more annoying that we're now entering hour 4 of fire alarm bonanza.
Last review session of undergrad today. Last exam of undergrad tomorrow. Graduation on Saturday. To those who were on IRC Monday and caught me bitching about the lack of good plan ( coffeesp00ns, Quatrarius ) I have one now, so that's good.
It's strange, when I graduated from high school I felt like there was some sort of script for the whole thing. Certain expectations and activities and such. Doesn't seem like there's as much of that for college. People are definitely celebrating, but there's not much pattern to it that isn't just 'Buy as much shit as you can correlated with parents income' Which doesn't really count to me.
At least my tassel is a cool color.
great, pub's still open, I'll just spill my bowl of ice cream on my keyboard over here . . . and order a drinkski.
Was up again before dawn this morning, third in a row, but not just to catch the light. I was off on a 45-minute highway drive to pick up the junior unit at her job. She got off at 7:00 a.m. She was smart and lovely and fun, even after having way less sleep than me over the past many days.
On the drive I had these thoughts:
I love the early early morning. I love the strange quality of light. I love the quiet. I love the handful of people that are out at 6:00 a.m., jogging or cycling or working in the all-night cafés.
I love the late late night. I love the dark. I love the silence, broken only by occasional sirens. I love not going to sleep... trying to get one...more...thing...done.
I love sleep, deep exhausted sleep. I love dreaming.
I even love the long days, although they are full of painful "news" from war and earthquaked lands, they are also full of small miracles and little acts of kindness and love.
I can love these things and still be distressed about many things. I can love these things and still be full of restless longing.
Heading to Atlanta for the Shaky Knees music festival!
Damn, they book just about everybody for that one don't they? Too many great bands to go see, hope you have a good time at time. Go see all the bands I've always wanted to see perform live.
Last final tomorrow, probably won't be on hubski for a while after that because I'll be away from my computer and probably in a coma
It Follows fucked me up, what a scary-ass movie.
Oh yeah how do you guys deal with the crippling anxiety that comes from feeling like you're not succeeding as much as your peers whether it's true or not
- Oh yeah how do you guys deal with the crippling anxiety that comes from feeling like you're not succeeding as much as your peers whether it's true or not
Sigh, don't fucking ask me, you're going to pry this bio of Edna St. Vincent Millay out of my cold desperate dead hands when I realize, "why trying to be good when so other people have been more good faster than i ever have been or probably ever will be"
- is there a hidden answer here
- Oh yeah how do you guys deal with the crippling anxiety that comes from feeling like you're not succeeding as much as your peers whether it's true or not
Don't compare yourself to your peers. compare yourself to high level professionals in your field. That way at least the shitty voice in your head has a point.
That's the best advice I got, and it's bad.
Since it is unrealistic to ask you not to compare yourself to anything, it's what we do, etc, try using an endogenous objective benchmark. Define the concept of "success" and do what you can to reach it. Meanwhile, your peers can try to reach their own defined success points that have nothing to do with yours. I think the world would be a better place if everyone did this, but it's by no means easy.
You can't compare yourself to people beneath you or you will never grow. But you can't obsess about not being the people above you because you can never be them. Instead figure out what about the person you like and aspire to be and then figure out how to get there.
First, you should try to compare yourself less to your peers. Everyone has a different path in life, and you might be selling yourself short. Some related reading for you!
Second, since I find myself struggling with the same thing; I try to find something to engross myself in that's unique from my peers, since it can give me a sense of accomplishment by allowing myself to look forward to my own goals, rather than sideways at what others are doing. I dabble in a lot of things, but am usually not an expert at many things I've done--I posted in this thread about building an R/C Quadcopter with a friend, which will be a cool project, but I've also learned the basics of knitting and rock climbing over the years just because of personal interest. I'm not particularly good at either of these things, but it was still cool to learn!
You probably already do this, though. I know you run a gaming blog and have done LP's with your sister, and I think that's awesome, but the bottom line is that you need to start counting your worth in terms of what you can do, not what you can't. (Idk if I'm being too presumptuous with this advice, sorry if I come off that way!)
Lot's of serious things happening in my life, so I'm going to talk about something that isn't so important.
My friend and I have decided to get into R/C Quadcopters, so we've ordered two frames and enough parts to be split between us, and we're hoping to have them assembled and flying before school ends! It's nice that things are winding down--leaves more room for hobbies.
Also, I'm finally starting to feel comfortable with JS. I've been taking codeacademy courses and just doing miscellaneous projects to practice, and it's nice to see some progress!
Two roads diverged in a wood...
I've narrowed my choice of what master's degree I want to do down to two. One is urban planning, the other is more about engineering and infrastructure policy. The former is the safe choice, the latter is a big challenge (math) but has more interesting courses. I keep changing my mind between the two options. How do you know you're good enough to climb the metaphorical mountain? People around me say that I can, but I'm not confident about it.
While I ponder over that, I've got more than enough work to do in the next two months. Two courses, two large theses and I've been appointed Treasurer of a club/organization I'm part of this week. Busybusybusy...
I agree - keep in mind though - if you know the urban planning is a safer choice - it may give you more time to pursue extra-curriculars/other career-related activities (meetup groups, personal projects, etc). Don't discount the ability to be flexible either!
There are many ways to the top of the mountain!
How do you eat an elephant, veen? One bite at a time.
Don't avoid doing something just because you're scared of the amount of work.
Thanks to thenewgreen there is now a random link in the bottom menu.
For my birthday no less. Thanks mk! I have already been playing around with it and I love it. With it's help I rediscovered elizabeth's photography as well as an old post from caelum19. It's a great way to see older conversations etc. I like it so much that I think it should be featured at the top of the site.
It's awesome. Thanks for coding it up!
Woah, there are some really great older threads out there! Happy Birthday man!
Thank you! Yeah, there really are some great older threads and the cool thing is, most people still visit the site so it's alright to continue a conversation even if it is a dated one.
Allergies. Are. Killing. Me. It's to the point where doing anything other than laying in bed is a struggle.
Two more weeks of college. Received one of the best gifts I've ever received this past weekend. Bittersweet feelings abound.
I just finished an update I'll push out tomorrow, an idea from insomniasexx.
It's modest, but pretty cool, I think.
I'd push it now, but I am going to be akf for the rest of the day, and I won't be able to fix anything I broke.
Doing my pack up and clean up! moving out of my apartment in Akron this weekend, and heading back to Canada. Lots to do, my folks show up on Thursday night to help me get everything home.
Feels weird to be closing this chapter of my life. Also, It's not really closed because I owe me school like a grand in random fees so they won't give me my diploma until I pay. Derp.
Lately, I've been watching some Baywatch, cuz sometimes, you just gotta not think, ya know? The gratuitous amounts of sexuality are only subtle if you're under the age of four. It's great for cuddles and laughs with your S.O.