Congratulations on making it out. I doubt anyone here who remembers your path to West Point would be surprised by your success in that career.

You are already ahead of most veterans I know or knew by having landed a career-trajectory job directly after service. Those who struggled the most thought the best thing to do was to take a break and process it all. In retrospect that is the worst thing you can do. It sounds like you aren't doing that anyway.

The further into the past deployment becomes the easier it is to come to terms with. The good things you've gained from military service are already embedded into your character. That will become more obvious after years of working with folks who have never persevered through the harsh extremes you experience in the military, all at the same time; the attention to detail, physical duress, incredible stress, suffocating fear for your life, the bizarre situations you end up in, etc. You might have to smooth out some of the sharp edges that don't translate well into the civilian world.

I had a weird and difficult ten years after leaving service. Eventually I got my act together and earned graduate degrees in both mathematics and computer science. I got a job as a software engineer in Norway a few years ago. I met and married my wife here. Last year we bought a house in northern Norway (Tromsø northern, but more rural than that). I forced my employer to allow me to work remotely; when I go to the office it's a 1.5 hour commute by boat. My backyard is wilderness and I am able to live in peace now.

War is an unfortunate staple of the human experience. Be glad you experienced it, and be glad most of the people you'll be around going forward have not.

Hello again!

About a week after you last post, we separated with my boyfriend of 10 years. It's been 2.5 years and I still grieve certain parts of that relationship. His sister and mom were really great, and I still miss them. But I am happy to have moved on from the parts that didn't work. Since then, my love life has been on a bit of a hiatus for serious stuff. I decided to focus on other things, and I have some really close relationships that have no future but feel good. I've been wondering if they have rendered me emotionally unavailable and resolved to slowly start dating this year to try meeting someone with life-building potential.

A month after that post I also terminated my contract at the makerspace I was working at. I was on unemployment for about a year and really took that time to ask myself questions and went on an epic 3 month trip with buddies. Got my PADI certificate, biked around Taiwan and decided on the top of a Nepalese mountain I wanted to try becoming a Product Manager at a tech company. Found a job at a startup where I've been for almost a year and a half. I'm learning a lot, I'm getting paid twice what I was at the non profit and feel generally happier. In hindsight, my previous work environment seems a lot more toxic than I realized.

I realized how much I like learning, and that I learn by doing. That I enjoy having superficial knowledge on many things. Built some propane flame effects, did my gun licence class, my fireworks certificate, learned to lockpick, solder electronics, did a product management training, a couple liquor distillations and some home and appliance repairs that taught me to use a few new tools. I have the financial freedom to invest in myself and my hobbies and learning, so I'm going for it :) Next I would like to sign up to learn this software called touch designer and maybe some basic python as it could unlock more art project potential.

In the last bit of news, I purchased my first condo about 2 months ago. Perks of having a "real" job banks will loan to. It's finally feeling like home, but will remain a work in progress for a while. I'm inclined to take it slow, and do things as I like them. It's in my favorite neighbourhood of the city, on the same street my parents moved to as their first home in Montreal. A 100 year old apartment with high ceilings and beautiful mouldings. Some things are a little worn and crooked but I enjoy a home with character.

Yearning to get better at my work, meet someone cool, learn some new skills and spend more time adventuring outdoors. I'm on the right track, trying to remind myself of that. To enjoy this moment when it feels like things are not moving fast enough.

I love these

So that was August 17, 2022. That means I basically need to go back through my photo library because I am completely nose-blind to my own life.

- The mill was almost ready to fire and then... complications ensued. It's a good thing! More on that in a minute.

- I'm now an honest-to-god radio DJ

- I converted my studio to Atmos just in time to have my first Atmos project fall through

- I taught myself jewelry enamel

- I bought my first set of reading glasses (gawd)

- I designed my first circuit and got it printed out, let's see if it works

- I designed the world's smallest 5th axis

- We opened a satellite clinic 30 miles away

- We now have 11 employees

- We got a grant that allowed us to give out 10% employee bonuses

- I spent $1200 electing Kamala Harris and it didn't do shit

- I bought an architecturally significant mansion a thousand yards from the birth center, which has a thousand square foot shop, a 600 square foot gym, a swimming pool and landscaping designed by a dude with a wikipedia article. I have put in $80k in HVAC, $90k in electrical, $100k in plumbing and a secret staircase. I spend a lot of time digging.

- I am back in watchmaking classes and managed to rebuild a 6497 to chronometer spec my first try out.

Good to hear again from you pabs!

Anyway, it all sounds simple and great when I put it on paper, but it was a whole lot of fuckery I put myself through the last near-decade, so I guess my biggest fear is that my memory of the important details and lessons-learned will fade before I really get a chance to leverage them in my forthcoming civilian life.

I'd urge you to write it down. Or shout half an hour every day into your phone's dictation tool. Not to create something coherent now, but to allow yourself to let go of the thoughts and experiences. And who knows, maybe a decade from now you you'd like to have something to return to.

900 days is a long time. Let's see. Last time around I was just over a bout of long covid and we moved into our first home. Little did I know LC would come back that winter with a vengeance. At rock bottom I was unable to shower because I lost the stamina to stand for longer than two minutes at a time. I went through extensive physical therapy which I still am grateful for for putting me on a long, arduous path of recovery. Just as I was making some amount of physical progress, my company fell apart at the seams and I had to put any energy I had gained into finding a new job. Which I thankfully did - I'm now a policymaker at the (Dutch equivalent of) state level.

I am still thoroughly enjoying that. In a week or two, the big research project I spent the past year on is finally publicized. It's a 80-page report on transport justice (my thesis subject) but written from and for my government agency, so I'm expecting some real change and feathers to be ruffled by it. My next big project is to build a bikesharing system from the ground up - think Citibike, but then trying to get it to work in a more rural environment.

Last year was all about another project - getting married! I'm now the proud owner of a beautiful ring on my hand. We had a phenomenal day and went three weeks to lovely Spain to recuperate.

Another more personal development is that I'm practicing meditation regularly these days. I can't think of a time in my life when my mental health has been better than now.