I've been meaning to write here. But it's do much happening that I feel overwhelmed by how much I would like to share. Then then the days ends and the week passes and I find myself again looking at another pubski post.
But here, I am alive, doing well, all things considered :)
busy work day but it might yet end early. on any day i only work until 3 at the latest anyway. when i get home it's hot dog mac and cheese for dinner. I'm stuck on some kind of africa kick so i might make it a pdf dive weekend project so it's not just skimming wikipedia and public documents
the company that bought the old one is much better. i get paid more per hour and i can bill more time. it's only been since january but I'm averaging closer to 4 shifts a week so that helps a lot
mood stabilizers have been doing me good, and some of my various ailments are fixed from getting off the SSRIs. next week i start the process of getting a CPAP because apparently i had sleep apnea all this time. yesterday i slept 4 hours after work and another 7 that night. based on all that I'm off the thyroid meds now because that was likely a bugbear
got a new learner's permit again so me and the boywife can finally get licenses this year inshallah
passed the 4 year dating anniversary a few months ago. about to hit the 6 year transitioning anniversary. getting out of the covid timehole has been strange. every year is messy in its own way. doing the open relationship since last summer has been great i think -the actual process of meeting new people is a pain in the ass and effectively a lottery on whether it pans out, but i've made some close friends* out of it and it's done a lot to limit the cabin fever and that sense of being a piece of shit. I'm glad me and my boyfriend were able to be together all through the lockdowns but after being effectively unemployed, depressed, and spending all day together for 2.5+ years it's nice to remember how to be human
Just finished Andre Agassi’s
Biography. Starting Dune (have never read). Been in a slump. Not sure why. But it’s dark. Good thing about age is experience. I’ve been here before. I’ll be fine. Need more activity. “There is no beauty but the beauty of action.”
I don't believe I've heard that proverb before, so thank you for sharing it. Sorry to hear you're in a slump. I hope you find yourself in higher climes, soon.
Agassi’s book suggests that a life of tranquility and satisfaction, “barbecues and ballgames,” is not compatible with high achievement. All the tennis stars are obsessed with their game, they never say “I’m good enough.” That gloom, the sticky paste of frustration and yearning to achieve our dreams, satisfy our absent fathers, make a lasting impact, be remembered, it can pull you down and it’s also what propels you forward. Onward!