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So, for those who aren't aware, I'm a trans woman. As one moves through transition, there's a lot of learning involved if one wants to "pass" as the gender they wish to be seen as - Walk the walk, talk the talk, etc.
Within that concept of "passing", or generally changing onesself to align more with the societal expectation of what "Male" or "Female" means (one doesn't have to tick all the boxes, just enough to sway opinion in the direction one wishes) there's a looming question:
How much do you change yourself?
WIth transition comes opportunity: you can change anything you choose about yourself. Don't like your voice? change it. Wish you had a cool accent? Develop one. Want to develop new, better habits? now's the time. Hate your weight? Wish you had the courage to wear the fashion you love? Change your hair colour, change your eye colour, get Laser eye surgery. You can become a new person, in a sense - decide you love Thai food, maybe.
But how much do you change before you lose your "self"? Were you your "self" to begin with, if you didn't like these things about yourself?
Even though I've come to this through transition, all of the things I've said are true of anyone. If you don't like what you've got, why don't you change it, as the song goes?
So, Hubski, if you had the opportunity remake yourself, would you? You don't have to share how.
Quatrarius · 1065 days ago · link ·
I don't buy into the idea that there's a single "self". "Self" to me is whoever I am. No matter how much I change, I'll still be me. Just a different sort of me. So to answer your question, yes.
The idea of the self is pretty odd. We all know who we are, but what makes you who you are? Like many people have said most of that changes through time and experience. Is the young you an isolated "self" that lived and died in that very moment to be reborn as someone new the next second? Maybe? Or is there some joining factor? Is there some core pricinple of self that binds all these moments into one conscious mind? No clue, but to answer your question I wouldn't want to remake myself.
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user-inactivated · 1065 days ago · link ·
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What I'm saying is we know we are here existing at some level. We know we are alive, breathing, taking up space. At the very same time that means very little as the self goes far beyond simply understanding those things. Our identity is a comlex collection of things that changes from one moment to the next. I'm just question what it means to be who I am (who anyone is). Are we one unit or many?
someguyfromcanada · 1065 days ago · link ·
Nice Canadian content there spoons. Yes of course I would. Regrets. I've had a few. Even if we are generally happy with who we are, we all have things we would like to change. I would not change myself too much. I could not imagine going through the process (?) that you are/have done. I don't even know whether I would have the fortitude. I would be the same person essentially but change some of the past decisions that have made me who I am. I would have gone to an expensive private school instead of thinking it was just for preppy wimps. I would have gone for quality over quantity and thought more about meeting a long term mate instead of a person to have lots of crazy sex with. I would be more inclined to work within an organization instead of going it alone. I would have never drank (a lot of) booze, done (a lot of) drugs or smoked (a lot of) cigarettes. I am very content with my interests, morals, etc. but of course there are things I would change/remake. I would hope my morals and my friends would be the same. though
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coffeesp00ns · 1065 days ago · link ·
I always forget Trooper is Canadian because they were so ubiquitous in my high school life. The only decent station in my town in Northern Ontario was the Classic Rock station, and they played it on the regular, so I just figured everyone had that in their lives.
I like to think I'm undergoing extensive remodel. My undergrad self left a lot to be desired, and I've grown a lot in the past few months. I like to think I'm shaking the bugs out of my psyche and behavior, to make the small, lasting changes I hope to effect. That's true physically, mentally, emotionally. I believe that the example of the Ship of Theseus is helpful here. I may get a new sail, it may be a different color or catch the wind differently, but it's still my ship. Edit* It's funny though, as I meditate, gain willpower and make changes, I am very aware of the disconnect between my body and mind. I make a tug on the reins, and I can feel my mount twitch and snort with discomfort. I'm just full of analogies today.
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coffeesp00ns · 1065 days ago · link ·
My dad's wheelbarrow is a "Ship of Theseus" - It's on it's second or third tray, 3rd or 4th set of handles, and easily the 3rd tire. he's had it a long time.
Honestly.. I think not. There are things that I could change, if given this opportunity - like my poor eyesight, maybe make myself a little bit taller.. But I feel like all of these things, positive and negative, have lead to where/who I am today. My poor eyesight forced me to adapt in the sporting environments I'm so often in, making me a far better athlete than I would have been without it (I think), and so on. And I'm really happy with who I am and who I'm working on becoming. Everything I don't like about myself is something I can actually work on, and I'm really appreciative of that fact. Not everyone is as lucky as me. Great question btw! Edit: Also, after reading further, I also agree with the other poster about "self" more being who you are at the time. I would say we're always changing and the person you were a year ago is vastly different to the you of today, but you're still undoubtedly "you". Paraphrashing below! “No person ever steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river and they not the same person.”
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ThatFanficGuy · 1065 days ago · link ·
That's really well put. A rigid concept of a thing exists only in our minds, like so many things about reality. The question takes a different take when you consider that remaking yourself on the spot won't change what your life has been beforehand. You aren't editing a save file of a videogame where you actions affect where you end up: you're editing your current state, with the rest of your life stemming from it afterwards. You'll still retain the methods you've developed due to poor eyesight unless you choose to disregard it. In such a condition, would you remake yourself?“No person ever steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river and they not the same person.”
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In that case, yes I would. They would only serve to hold me back in that instance! I'd change my eyesight and make myself a smidgen taller because of vanity. Maybe make myself less temperamental, I'm working on not being so hot headed but to become more mindful and at ease in an instant would be pretty nice.
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ThatFanficGuy · 1065 days ago · link ·
Can you see any reason not to apply for this kind of procedure (assuming there are no hidden costs related solely to the procedure itself)?
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I can get Lasik - I've just had glasses since I was 3 and I'm so ... Glasses-y. I absolutely could do it. In fact when I was initially training to join the Police that was one of the missions I had. One day I may get it, but for now it's something that will cost me a lot of money without gaining me too much outside of freedom from spectacles.
I agree with Quatrarius. There really is no 'self'. I think it comes down to how much a person needs to belong vs. how much authenticity they require. We all need both of these things, but they are at odds with one another. I would remake myself to a small degree in order to be better able to navigate society, but I would also try very hard to preserve as much of 'myself' as possible in order to feel 'authentic'.
I'm still fairly young, and so I think I answer yes because I'm not remaking myself, I'm just making myself. I have some sort of vague idea of who I want to be and the steps to get there, and some of that contradicts with who I am right now. A lot of my concept of self stems from a Douglas Hofstadter book called I Am a Strange Loop. Our concept of self stems from events, which we experience only through our concept of self. So, "I" am strange loop becasue I arise from my experiences. The description leaves plenty open, but works well with my life experiences. So, remaking the self would result from dissatisfaction with the observer of past life events. Yet I think it would also stem from those life events. Basically, the remade self would still be firmly rooted in the prior self, I think. And when I think of it that way, I see it more as a continuous, almost accidental process of changes than a sudden re-making.
ThatFanficGuy · 1065 days ago · link ·
A "self" as a rigid concept only exists in your mind, like so many other things about reality. There are concepts we're so used to that we can't imagine the world being different, without them. "Male" and "female" are two of such concepts, and so are "biological sex" and "psychosocial gender". If any of them were to change, the world won't change: only our perception of it would. I am what I am, at any given moment. I have traits come and go as I develop under the circumstances I have, and I have existing traits vary for the same reason. If I change myself right now into something I so radically different I can no longer associate it with the self I considered myself being right before the change, ultimately, my self won't change: I'll still be me, at any given moment; it's only the idea that I was once something different that would mark the change and build the history. I have the opportunity to remake myself: I do it, bit by bit, every day. I believe in ideals to be striven for: kindness, compassion, understanding, acceptance, among others, - and I believe that striving for them will certainly make me a better person, the kind of person I'd be proud of being. If due to those characteristics I will also make someone's life a bit better as I live, that would be even better. There are also parts of me that I don't want to exist in myself, at least not prominently: selfishness, impatience, greed, anxiety, - and for those, too, I do a step every day, but a step away. A single "self" holds you back because, ultimately, you want stability. Stability of the self is very important, but more important is understanding that there are no rigid concepts, not for one person's mind. Things change, begin and cease to exist; holding on to a single idea of the person you are prevents you from being a person that you're better off being, because there's always a strife for you to become better in you.