Well thankfully it wasn't a stroke or aneurysm. The CT scan came back clear, so the Doctors and Neurologists are officially diagnosing it as a Thunderclap Migraine. Then I had two more, two days later. It's been 6 days since the first one that panicked the shit out of me, and sent me home crying from work. I'm going to the neurologist again tomorrow for a follow up, possible spinal adjustment, and possible MRI. But for now, I just keep pretending everything is fine, and going about my business... In other news, - I went to an outstanding punk show, Stiff Little Fingers - I went to the 10th anniversary party for my old circus pal's dinner theater, Cafe Nordo - This morning I went to the dentist for a cleaning - Tonight I am hosting a Rugby 101 workshop for Seattle rugby fans - I've finally reached a level in Fallout 76 where I am not constantly dying, and can actually enjoy just exploring this open world and building cool shit. (It's been a year, now.) - Planning a trip to Europe with my brother and his wife for next March. Iceland, Ireland, and Scotland... in March. It'll be... well... wet and cold. But traveling with them and experiencing it together is going to be FANTASTIC!!
As a migraine sufferer myself - I don’t know if any words ever spoken have scared me more than the two you just typed: Thunderclap Migraine. That sounds just abysmal. Sorry to hear you’ve had repeats, although I am relived it wasn’t a stroke. Here’s hoping the neurologist can help. I’d just about give a limb to come to your rugby workshop. I’ve been enjoying the heck out the World Cup this year. And watching with my son has been extra fun.
iceland in march is excellent, the waterfalls will still be partially frozen, unless the Climate has Changed since i was there don't plan to be able to do much after about 5pm though that's when the fog rolls in and the roads may be shit. i loved it
Yeah, the emotional toll of a possible stroke was far more taxing than the physical too, honestly. As for the Rugby 101 event, it was brilliant. About 20 new rugby fans in a room with four forwards, two backs, and two referees. The fans asked questions about the game, and the players and refs talked about those parts of the game. When is something offsides? How does the Ref determine how long advantage play lasts? What is the legal method for stealing the ball from the ruck? How can the forwards influence a scrum, and what is the Ref looking for from a scrum, or penalties in a scrum, etc... It was brilliant.
I’ll admit - this is one of the aspects of the game that continually eludes me. As soon as I think I’ve got it figured out, something happens in a game that’s makes me question my understanding.What is the legal method for stealing the ball from the ruck?
Glad to hear it went well! Some good questions too - one of the hardest things to pick up, IMO, is how the laws can be interpreted. An advantage might be much longer for one ref compared to another and the inconsistency, while exciting and something to be influenced to me, can be frustrating to newcomers. So, great idea for the workshop to mitigate that!
Funny you should mention it, I have a similar thing going on at work right now...The neat thing about working on a room that was finished by the previous home owners is that even if you fuck up badly, everything else was so poorly done that nobody will be able to tell it was you that fucked up.
Seeds The other week I planted in a bunch of planters appleseeds and acorns to keep outside over winter so they can be seedlings in the spring. The other day, when I went out to water them, it looks like a squirrel had sniffed out the acorns and had decided to help itself to them. Which is fine, that's part of life and I kind of figured there was a chance of that happening. Since I have a bunch of empty pots and no acorns now, the other day Dala and I went and gathered pine seeds and planted those instead. They're no oak trees, but they're still pretty, so I'll work with that. Health My mental faculties have been on a slow but steady downward trajectory for the past two or three years. It's been pretty easy for me to be in denial about it, because most of the signs so far have been pretty easy to ignore. I say most, because I've been ignoring a big red flag and that's my inability to handle stress. I've been forced out of jobs because of it and I haven't been able to work as much or as well as I used to. Recently though, a new red flag has popped up, and that's when I'm any combination of tired, stressed, or processing too much information, I struggle with speech. I can't remember even basic words and conveying even simple ideas takes so much effort it's an equal combination of embarrassing and scary. Sucks for Hubski though that, for the most part, my ability to write hasn't been affected yet. Which means you lot will probably have to put up with me for the foreseeable future. Last Wednesday I had such a great day at work I was reminded of the kind of man I used to be. The rest of the week was a near disaster, reminding me of the man I am now. It was enough to make me realize I can't afford to be in denial anymore, that dementia runs in the family and that coupled with my head injury, the future looks pretty foggy. I'm gonna save up money to visit the neurologist that treated me for my head injury and see where we go from there. A family planner and possibly social worker might be in my future too. In an odd way, finally acknowledging that I'm having some very real problems make things feel less scary and more scary than before. If anyone has experience in this realm and some advice, I'd love to hear it. No pity though. All things considered I'm still in good shape and I intend to keep it that way.
Yes, how much of your relentless positive energy and failure to complain are we supposed to take? I enjoy your observations on the natural world, and I wouldn't mind some more comments on cars. Maybe you could try the mk method and sprout your oaks indoors? It didn't work for me, but there are still acorns all over the sidewalk so I might try again.Sucks for Hubski though...
It is indeed awful. :) Have you tried the sink test for finding good acorns? I learned that if you carry a cup of water with you as you're picking them up, drop the acorn in the water. If it sinks, it is healthy, if it floats, it's been used by bugs or fungus already. It still takes time, I think I got one good acorn out of every ten or so that I picked up. But after about half an hour, I had six healthy acorns. Unfortunately for me, it looks like the tree that I want to get my acorns from is done dropping for the year, so I have to wait until next year to try again. That said, planting indoors by itself might not work, because the acorns need to be cold for months to germinate. Fridge option aside . . . maybe a storage shed would work? I don't have one, but my neighbor does. I could ask next year if they'd let me use a small corner of it for a modest fee in return . . .Yes, how much of your relentless positive energy and failure to complain are we supposed to take?
Oh, the sink test sounds great; I'll use that. I was going by shape to pick a winner. Now I see mk went for safety in numbers. New plan: collect a dozen of the heaviest acorns available. Plant some in an indoor pot, and chill the rest for a month or two before planting.
Booooooooo. I was really happy when you came back to this site. It’s always good reading what you and Dala are up to. Probably the only useful thing I have to say is to always be your best, most vocal health advocate.Sucks for Hubski though...
That's the spirit. I have an aunt who had a bad concussion and there were some long term and some permanent effects. I think from her brain swelling - not sure, it was maybe 10 years ago now. It did take time for her and her family to adjust - time to adjust and time to guess what to adjust - her/family/environment/etc. It's easy to get hung up on differences but she's the same person she was before. And by now, it's a bit like she switched out some pet peeves - normal before, normal now, chaos in the middle. I don't know if that's relevant to you, but I'm sharing in case it's useful to hear about someone else dealing with a brain injury. I only have one piece of advice but I don't know if you'll like it. Sprinkling cayenne pepper on the dirt will keep squirrels from digging up the planters without harming them. Ihope they get a whiff of it and back off without snorting a lungful, but I'm not sure because I never caught them in the act.I'm still in good shape and I intend to keep it that way.
I find the pepper idea pretty intriguing. I'll look into that and maybe similar things, provided they're a non-harmful deterrent. I talked to my bud about the acorns, the same one who told me about hugelculture, and their solutions ranged from everything from chickenwire contraptions to out and out green houses. Which . . . yeah, all would probably work, but I don't know. They're acorns. Then again, I was really hoping for oak saplings. Yeah. I'm glad to hear your aunt is doing better. Being open to knowing if adjustments are needed and what they might be, really is key. The more I think about it, the more talking to a family planner is a good idea.
At this point "The squirrels won't eat them" is an improvement over your last crop. Let us know how this next batch of seedlings goes! Two years ago I did something very, very stupid. After noticing a lump in my right testicle, I decided to be in denial about it for almost a year. I did my best not to think about it for the entire time, simply repressing the thoughts whenever they came up and trying to avoid touching it by any means (As if avoiding concrete interaction with it would keep it imaginary). The entire time, it was a burden to me. Even when I wasn't thinking about it, I knew there was a chance I was killing myself by not having it looked at. For awhile it was easy to focus on other things - I was just too stressed to have it looked at, and it was too easy to distract myself with work, assignments, exams, relationship woes, or whatever else. When I finally got it checked out, it was obviously a relief to discover that it was simply a cyst that wouldn't require treatment...But the biggest relief (and one I haven't bothered articulating until now) was when I walked into the doctor's office for the first time, knowing it was finally going to be examined and that the consequences would be happening rather than just haunting me. All this to say that I get it. Facing something down after running from it can be a relief, because running is exhausting. I hope you know I can sympathize with part of your journey, and I'm wishing you well for the parts that are foreign to me. I hope you'll continue to give us updates as you find appropriate and bearable, you're in my thoughts applewood.They're no oak trees, but they're still pretty, so I'll work with that.
Finally acknowledging that I'm having some very real problems make things feel less scary and more scary than before.
Yeeeah. Lumps are freaking scary. I'm glad it's nothing major. Denial really is a weird weight, huh? We don't know we're re carrying it until we let it go. I appreciate the positive vibes, really, really do. Hopefully, with God and good luck and good science, updates will be few and far between and fairly uneventful. :)
Weirdly, my sister co-authored a book about how to navigate the language of heathcare, and her section specifically deals with issues around dementia and reduced cognitive function. (Mostly in senior citizens, but the logic holds no matter what type of brain changes you are undergoing.) The book came out this morning. I was literally posting about it before I came to Hubski, so let me just Command-V it here: https://www.amazon.com/Secret-Language-Healthcare-Care-Deserve/dp/1733966609
My wife got a camera ticket back in May. In Washington, photographic evidence cannot be the sole source of incriminating evidence in any civil action so if you testify under penalty of perjury that the photo isn't you, the ticket is invalid. My wife and I have largely solved this problem by having our cars registered to both of us. Got a ticket? Your spouse testifies that they aren't in the photo. This works with some municipalities. Others will send back the ticket saying "hokay but what about your spouse." Others will say "you have to make that testimony in our courtroom." So after a continuance I had to drive 30 miles to make so I could appear in their bloody courtroom while not in LA, yesterday was court day. I had been under the assumption that, like most sensible places, photo tickets were an annoying part of their day that had been foisted upon them by an unthinking, idiotic city council attempting to protect their sweet, sweet ticket revenue. Reader, I was wrong. Never wrestle a pig; you get covered in mud and the pig likes it. As it turns out, the municipal court of Kent is all about scolding people and breaking the law. "Mr. Bl00?" "Here, your honor." "Do you testify that you were not driving the vehicle on the date of blahblah?" "I do, your honor." "Do you know who was driving?" "I do, your honor." "Would you tell the court who that was?" "I am under no obligation to disclose that information, your honor." Whole room got quiet. "Actually, the statute is written so that it is up to the court - " "It is not, your honor." "Don't interrupt me! Do you have evidence to prove you were somewhere else - " "I brought no evidence as the sole purpose of this hearing is my sworn testimony that I was not driving." "The court can demand evidence as to who was driving the car. Do you have any such evidence?" "I can certainly provide some. Does the court have the ticket in question?" "Mr. Bl00, I'm going to dismiss this ticket but I want to caution you that not all judges are as lenient as me so in the future keep better control over your vehicles while traveling in the city of Kent." "Rest assured, your honor, that I will never travel the city of Kent ever again." And the room laughed and the judge looked chagrined but I sat through an hour and a half of a guy whose major beef was a cop who told him "shut the fuck up or I'll give you a ticket" but didn't understand the whole "I want to make sure that the defendant is informed of the existence of bodycam footage" because he was Kurdish. Or the latino immigrant who got a ticket for crossing the street and getting hit by a Lyft because the judge basically said "despite the fact that counsel has demonstrated that an intersection is a crosswalk under state law the ticket stands because there's no better law to cite him under." Or the endless sea of minorities and white trash for whom it is cheaper to sit there for three hours than pay $70 because the calculus on that one is it pays better than working. Every other time I've been involved with this bullshit it's been a courtroom of white people who know how the system works. This time? It was a bunch of white scolds who were basically there to stick it to minorities. And all I could do was walk in in my Brooks Brothers suit, tell the judge to eat shit and remind every person of color in that room where the power lies. Guy before me went as far as asserting he owned six cars and two motorcycles and has eight people who live with him, none of which would cop to the ticket. Dude looked like he was about to be whipped. Me? "Fuck you, Judge, you're not allowed to ask." The white kid speeding through a residential neighborhood with tinted taillights who had to swerve around a bunch of kids to keep from killing them? Yeah he got a mitigated fine for the taillights and everything else dropped. It's rare that you get such a crystal-clear glimpse of the audience of your own privilege.
Chickens Bertha (the very hugged chicken in the above photos) has sour crop (a kind of yeast infection), so she's inside for the next few days. No food today; hopefully everything will clear up and we can get her back out to the flock in a couple days with no trouble. Research Conference next week! I guess I should finish the poster for it, huh? I have at this point four projects going, which is about three more than I probably should have. But, at least it is all interesting and several things seem to be going directions. I am eternally grateful to the four-month-long checkout times from the university library because there's a lot of reading to do and sometimes it takes months before I get back to something.
I mean, chickens will happily eat chicken noodle soup and they'd probably love it but it's too salty to be healthy for them (and they should avoid chicken...other meat is fine, though)! She fasts today; tomorrow she gets regular chicken feed with some yogurt or other protein. Plus she always gets some of whatever I'm eating. I've seen her swallow whole penne noodles bigger than her head like it was nothing.
My use of the word "can't" was kind of presupposing that you wouldn't want to introduce your chickens to cannibalism as a primary source of nourishment. Maybe that was a bit hasty :) Honestly a little impressed by the penne noodles. She must be a powerful bird!
Just had a wonderful chat with c_hawkthorne whohappened to be in the area! Hope you have good travels back, and apologies for the rain.
I may be getting rain, but I'm also getting the color changes of fall. I think I chose a perfect time to visit. Thanks again for the coffee, and Gys is delicious.
Vegan place in Utrecht. The avocado hummus sandwich was fabulous. Edit: since I'm just sitting here on my last day of vacation treating myself I can also update this to include the Snicker's ice cream as being fabulous as well.
So in February next year it'll be two years with this weird, balance issue. Dr said she'd arrange for a CT scan if things get worse before them or come February on the two year mark. Am a little nervous to find out what's going on, I'm 95% sure it's PPPD (Persistent Postural-Perceptual Dizziness) and related directly to my anxiety, but the other 5% (of which anxiety likes to build a mountain from) has me worried it's something sinister. Dr has assured me, if it was sinister, it wouldn't show symptoms that never progress for two years straight - the ENT I saw said the exact same thing, and every test they've done (plus the ones with the Physio School) have suggested I actually have zero balance issues and this is my own brain fighting me. That 5% though, yo. Relearning the piano in my spare time - I did some kind of grading when I was much younger but I truly cannot remember any of it outside of muscle memory for small ditties. So am going back to basics and learning to read it again, hoping it comes back nicely. Also, planning for my Japan trip - my boss reminded me to check on my passport, I haven't flown in years, absolute years. Guess when my passport expired? April. 2015. Applied to have it renewed and haven't heard anything back outside of a confirmation that it was received so that's a good sign. Should get it before the end of the month with my now shaved head as the photo. My plants are sprouting!!! Or they're weeds. Time will tell.
Well I suppose it’s Wednesday on the east coast. First transpacific flight, coming up in a few hours. Suffering through flight anxiety, per usual. Lost a toenail earlier this week, finally. That was a fun first.
I can't remember if I posted this table that I made. I threw it together pretty quick, and was impressed that I could cut those logs in half lengthwise with a chainsaw without cutting myself. I'm starting in on a new painting tonight. I always look forward to that. ecib commissioned one, so maybe this will be what he gets. I am having a hell of a time getting Ubuntu installed on a Windows 10 computer. It should be straight-forward, but it's not letting me create the partition I need. I've managed to unmount the USB file I cannot install into, but cannot yet create or get it to recognize one I need to install into. I remember it used to be so easy... Fall is finally here, which makes me happy. I'll take overcast and chilly over sunny and sweaty most days. Also, I hope Trump does a horseback photoshoot before he's out of office.
Hmm. It might be the computer itself, something with the bios maybe? Only reason I say that is the last time I bought a desktop, I couldn't install Linux to save my life. I think I tried three times in as many days. I took it back, exchanged if for a different model, and took it home and succeeded on my first attempt.
Been living out of the workspace since I got to the Netherlands. Haven't seen anything, but met a bunch of cool people. Slowly learning about plastic. The vegan diet has been weird on my stomach so now I eat cheese at night. Been working basically non stop since i got here. Last weekend, we had a bonfire and i fell asleep standing, leaning on the fence. I wasn't even really drunk. But it's been a blast. I hope I can keep up the energy!
Weirdly, I feel my older friends are way better than me at doing crazy shit. And then going into work the next morning, while I’m recovering. I guess experience helps too? Or just more ways to cope with the shittiness. That’s probably the thing I miss the most right now, my friends from back home. I didn’t realize how close we’ve all gotten and how often I saw them until now. Or how great my friends are in little caring ways. I haven’t been “alone” in the world for a long time, I feel this time away is going to be great for introspection.
house: We have bedbugs! Wheeee! So far its just in my roommate's room and hasn't been spotted anywhere else. Still very spooked. We're taking the nuclear option and trying to nuke them as fast as possible. - jobs: Graduating next semester and need to find a place to work ASAP. Worried that I'm already too late. - boardgames: Started Pandemic Legacy season two! It's much more different than I was expecting but pretty hype. I'm excited :) - culture: Finally saw Rocky Horror Picture Show, and it was a lot of fun! Enough that we're making another trip to drag our one friend who was busy that day as an excuse to see it again
Enclaves and exclaves have all kinds of stories. A building in the Netherlands was once temporarily recognized as part of the U.K. My image is a leftover fragment of an old railway.