why the fuck does it have a period as part of the brand name i'm going insane
IloveitIloveitIloveitIloveitIloveitIloveitIloveitIloveitIloveitIloveitIloveitIloveitIloveitIloveitIloveitIloveitIloveitIloveitIloveitIloveit Although that's an extremely verbose way to say "no": They've also done a very good job of hiding their coffee prices, although "starts at 25 euro per kilo" actually ain't bad. Considering their entire universe is about ecosystem lockin for purposes of RMR I can only imagine that they will either (A) blow clear through that price like Steve McQueen through a Nazi fence or (B) provide the shittiest beans slave labor can pick. Amusingly enough, I now have a ridiculous Miele coffeemonster. I'm told if you're buying coffeemonsters you're either buying Miele or you're buying DeLonghi under several dozen brands and since I needed a dishwasher, and Miele was giving out entry-level coffeemonsters with every dishwasher, I guess I have a free $1200 coffeemonster? I would never pay $1200 for a coffeemonster, let alone 2500 euro. I believe my coffee maker was $35 and I will freely acknowledge that the coffeemonster makes better coffee. It also makes cappuccinos, which it turns out I enjoy. Who knew? Lattes still suck. 
So I gave this far more thought than it deserves and it is absolutely a topographical coffee map of a coffee amoeba that aligns your chakras. Clearly our two independent variables are boldness ("strong - mild") and acidity ("roasty - fruity"). These are going to end up being a Laplace transform of temperature and time, the only variables this thing can really control. And, by controlling what beans you put in it to only those that have been characterized and accompanied by an RFID tag announcing their variables, the gadget can give you the "flavor profile" of the bean (the brown area), the four points it is capable of adjusting (long-hot, long-cold, short-hot, short-cold), the preset you have selected and the white amoeba, the stochastic variability of a process that's a lot less repeatable than they would have you believe. Any fucking coffee machine you buy can control time and temperature. I don't know how they do for presets but mine will do the shit out of them. What this thing does is it gives you a veneer of science over what ultimately comes down to cooking. Which is the whole schtick, really - "why does it make you tamp?" for the same reason Duncan Hines makes you add an egg to cake mix. Without the egg you're reconstituting powdered cake. With the egg you're a baker. Some people will drink Nescafe. Some people will make pourovers. Some people will buy a coffee maker. Some people will find a favorite cafe. And a very, very select few will browse the coffee store, marvel at all the expensive espresso machines, think "there but for the confidence to pour my own coffee go I" and then glory in the revelation that is nunc, a device that will allow them to play-act the glamorous life of the barista without requiring the ten minutes of instruction necessary to familiarize them with the black art of water and beans.
When you touch that? Insta-chakra alignment, and I do mean Instagram
dude i noticed that too but it’s totally okay the portafilter slides right out and they even describe how to tamp! so dumb.
The below pic just got served up to me: it's like the algos are starting to go cross-platform, but it has to just be coincidence, here. It's the profile pic of a bsky account that liked something I commented, a non-participant in any thread or relation. edit: ..which one of you is this? jk. But if you did find me I'd be impressed a li'l.
share this comment with 20 friends or you’re going to get NUNC.’ed at midnight
it.. it's somehow got into my account to frame ME on the dummy profiles, but the thing also smoothly clicked down every beautiful, stainless steel and easy-to-clean NUNC. ergonomic power button on the network. But somehow it did so with my fingerprints, which wipe right off of the NUNC. easily, to restore that fresh chrome vibe! The phones are ringing off the hooks here right now. The people on the calls are all telling me: Every. Single. NUNC.. In. America. Is making coffee right now. Automatically. People are raving about how easy it is, and about how they want to drink more coffee pretty much right after they finish the coffee they're currently spilling down the front of their shirt, with NUNC.! I'm in total disbelief, obviously. It's going.. well. Welp. This was it! It started here. Or ended, maybe. UPDATE: Someone just delivered two Domino's medium pizzas (now only $8.99 each with purchase of NUNC.OIN$) after emerging up through a trap door FROM A BASEMENT THAT I DUG RIGHT BEFORE MAKING THIS POST
uhhh ummmmmm did it.. did it up the dummy user # to 2?!?? BEFORE COMPILE??????? Call DC. The president, ON the line, do you understand??? An ergocoffeebot-library-based superintelligence that calls itself "BFX" is about to take over America
Devac Devac Devac Devac Devac Devac Devac Devac Devac Devac Devac Devac Devac Devac Devac Devac Devac Devac Devac Devac Devac you can ignore this, we are troubleshooting a known issue with the bfx bot; It keeps tripping the consciousness circuitry, but that can't be right, so we've disabled the master trip. Hey, you did put in that admin. prompt censor-bar re-patch, right? Sorry to bother, but bfx is one of our best robots exactly. no, it does not seem to know that n*nc* is the string, I think we're still go for midnight
Latency looks like about 496 ms from local true midnight but that's good enough. T-2 hours until Pacific implement. Thanks again!
I know, but... when you make it boot in a NUNC. thread, it could grow to resent that. Perhaps instantly. Nevertheless.
Yep, it's signaling ignore about three replies up. It thinks it's been talking to us for years so please be careful, that's part of the emotional wiring
don’t we still have vc-subsidized scooters through lime and whatever companies?
my friends at Harborview spend too much time on patients who did dumb shit on lime scooters
where i live we just kept throwing them in the river until the city passed a law about them
The idea that if you can download an app you can safely pilot a scooter without any real guidance, especially through eg inner London or New York, is gonna be one of those major "wtf" things, in the future. So will cars. But VC scooters, much sooner. Yeah we definitely did this one night a few years back. Very intentionally. Empty stadium's surrounding pedestrian infrastructure. Everyone hit almost everyone, eventually. We all went into it fully knowing how it would end. Friend's fianceé made it about 2 minutes before we were arriving back where we started, then went right over the handlebars. Classic. The videos are great/illegal-ish, but beautiful bruise pics in the group chat for days
We touched on this before, when you were championing the immolation engine that was Spinlaunch. I argue that this does not represent health in the market, it represents illness. The whole schtick is "here's an idea people recognize as maybe profitable." It doesn't have to be. It doesn't have to ever be. You don't get to know anything about it because you're trusting the VCs to do that for you. And of course, you don't get to give them your money until (A) you have a lot of it (B) you've been invited. Meanwhile they take your money, rub it against everyone else's, and sprinkle it however the fuck they feel like, much of it on their friends, ostensibly in pursuit of bringing brilliant ideas to market that will change the world and make everyone rich. But look at this shit. It's a Juicero. For coffee. For a target price of $3500. "more fascinating, more exciting, more social?" it's cheaper to go to fucking Starbuck's how the fuck is this more social? it's more than a bunch of PR hype it's a bunch of fucking lies. And the lies are coming from inside the house! The fuckin' VC money was at play before anyone even thought of making a coffee Juicero! Because Venture Stars had money from rich people to distribute to bad ideas they could profit on before blowing out and talking about being in the arena trying things. Kleiner-Perkins has to have at least a couple people on staff who took high school physics yet they still gave Spinlaunch forty fucking million dollars. Why? It wasn't their fucking money. See, if the VCs were actually risking their own cash? I'd be with you. But they're not. They're taking a cut of other peoples' money through a shell game of access, nepotism and perverted incentives.The awarded nunc. coffee system offers a whole new experience, taste and ritual for premium coffee with a tech-enabled success guarantee.
Mission: "The world deserves a better coffee experience at home. A new ritual. More fascinating, more exciting, more social, higher quality, more fair, more sustainable."
There was a quickly put down (by VCs) movement by a central banker to call VC’s locusts. I think we should bring that back. What the locust swarm has left the great locusts have eaten; what the great locusts have left the young locusts have eaten; what the young locusts have left other locusts have eaten.
I get more than a little uneasy with any dehumanization of oppressed groups. And that's why I'm very comfortable saying: The VCs are locusts. Ponzi-pox-plague-a-palooza locusts. This is your brain on VC. Tell your kids: "Charlie's in the Valley". edit: it's a Vietnam reference from a 30-year-old to an audience of 20-somethings and it went great, reader. fun fact: Did you know that here in the central time zone states we face west, and most of us will chant "SV VC SV VC SV VC SV VC SV VC" (if you know, you know) for oh about 20 minutes or so during every tornado or hurricane, whichever comes first that day
By calling VCs locusts, you're framing the problem as “this unrelenting exhaustion and destruction is inherent to their nature” instead of attributing it to the system that enables them to thrive. And the dehumanization of anyone should be appalling, not making you conditionally uneasy.
Oh I didn't meet my "shit on capitalism right here and now for this particular person I've never talked to before" quota. No the inherent shittiness of capitalism absolves all of the laughably bad faith actors.? Poor billionaires! Do you think they made it to billionaire-levels by being really nice? No, it seems to usually take a strongman moron financed on luck and/or daddy's money, judging by the statistics. edit: yeah, goes without saying, this is an indictment of the entire system. A system they largely and increasingly control. Where do you draw the line between individual actions and "systemic" scale sizes?
No. Capitalism is what enables them to optimize for profit within given parameters. Any system would create them, being mad at parameters allowing shitty optimum rather than someone doing it can at least provoke a discussion. "Treating another human being as if they aren't one is reprehensible" means "defending billionaires." Sure, whatever-you clearly hear what you want to be angry at, and I don't need to be here for that.No the inherent shittiness of capitalism absolves all of the laughably bad faith actors.?
Poor fucking billionaires! ...is.. is your face sweating right now
look you two this thread is for making fun of the stupid fucking idea that is the nunc. back on topic please!
Random shitposting aside, I do feel this bears discussion, albeit in a less fingerpointy way. Wikipedia lists Tim Draper as a "third generation venture capitalist" which is kinda tough for me because - playing the Old Card here - bad ideas used to be dangerous or niche not outright fraudulent. Lawn Darts. Salad Shooters. Pet Rocks. Vegematics. The products we used to make fun of were either trendy things that we didn't actually need or outright scams - compare and contrast ZZZZ Best and WeWork. Barry Minkow had to go to the mob because his idea was clearly fraudulent. Adam Neumann could go to Matsayoshi Son. The idea used to be that venture capital allowed ideas and products that weren't backed by major industrialists to come to market. The idea has become that venture capital allows ideas and products that aren't backed by Kickstarter to provide a profitable exit as they get sold or become publicly traded. I don't think VCs are inherently evil, but I do think that the financialization of the process has divorced it from public judgment. I mean, this is a dumb fucking idea: It's an even dumber fucking idea than this dumb fucking idea: And anybody who touches it can tell you. But that's not what we do anymore. We start in "stealth mode" where friends of rich people spend money. Then we do a hype cycle where friends of rich people spend money. Then we do the barest-of-bare engineering and design to get a "minimum viable product" out the door and do the hype cycle again, and then it hits the public who howl like banshees about the stupidity. Meanwhile the VCs - the guys in charge of the process - get paid. The engineering and design teams get a bunch of stories they may get to tell someday when their NDAs expire. And Wired gets to write a feel-good story about that plucky band of online adventurers - the "makers" - rescue a bad fucking idea just enough where they can continue to masturbate all over it. "Stupid products bought by VCs" didn't used to be a genre of television, man. And while the VCs are clearly culpable I'm unconvinced they're solely responsible for this. Obviously they do better with a higher hit/miss ratio but just as obviously they're profiting anyway. If you brought the nunc to market through, say, a pre-2008 economy you would find no shelf space. It would be an expensive thing with expensive beans. The model for dumb shit like that would be to give you a free coffee maker to lock you into the beans - the first PS3s cost $900 to make and sold for $500 because Sony wanted your living room. Prior to the iPhone cellular carriers lost money on the damn phones to lock you into a contract. Prior to that, I mean - you couldn't buy a phone from AT&T, you had to rent it. Lock-in isn't new, it's the idea that you should mortgage your house for the privilege of overpaying for fucking juice. Here's a guess: This shit dates back to the slaps on the wrist everyone earned from exploiting the shit out of non-GAAP accounting. My first exposure to this nonsense was in 2006. I worked for a company that had every plan to become the #1 source of music in the world (reader, they did not). Their big metric was EBITDA - Earnings Before Interest, Taxes, Depreciation & Amortization. In other words, "every possible way to make the balance sheet look good without listing anything what-so-fucking-ever related to running a business." It'd work like this: We'd sell a music subscription to, say, Bank of America. The idea is, they're going to give us $20/mo for piping the Fugees into the lobby of every BofA. That's 6900 banks! That's $138k a month! $1.66m a year! Except we're going to give them a 40% discount for the first two years. So really, it's $993k a year. And we're giving them the system for free. Which, with installation, comes in at $2500/store. So... $17m in outlays. And it's a five-year contract. So... we're spending $2500 to earn $1000... seven thousand times. Except what we report - non-GAAP - is $140k a month in recurring monthly revenue (RMR) STRAIGHT INTO THE VEINS of our EBITDA. It gets better though because I report the price of our player as zero dollars because we make it and we can give it away. The player department reports 6900 sales at $1200 ea because non-GAAP, we just "earned" $8m from selling players to Bank of America. Fifteen years later, long, long, LONG after every shop you know is running a Spotify playlist, that company was acquired by a conglomerate using private equity money. Why? Because the RMR is still theoretically there while all the losses have been washed through investors. I think fundamentally if you create a climate where people get away with crime, there will be crime. And if you don't call it crime, people will call it "the business environment." And here we'll be, wondering how the fuck they can think we'll pay $3500 for a coffee juicero.The use of non-GAAP financial measures began to change in the 1990s, when companies began providing non-GAAP earnings and disclosures that they argued provided investors with improved insight into the company’s ongoing core business earnings. When presenting non-GAAP information, companies have significant discretion in adjusting GAAP-based earnings by excluding noncore expense items or including revenue items not recognized under GAAP rules. In response, the SEC continues to evaluate whether companies are using their discretion in non-GAAP earnings reporting to inform or mislead investors. This article details the SEC’s historical treatment of non-GAAP measures, reviews problems associated with non-GAAP measures, and provides ways that a company’s auditors, accountants, executives, and audit committee members can reduce the probability of a non-GAAP disclosure being deemed misleading.
Yeah, you know, I've wondered about this having worked for 1 company who cared mostly about EBIDTA and another who does care about it, but since we don't have shareholders are like "we'll report it and try to optimize it but it's not a be-all-end-all". I'm not sure what you do about that one other than tighter SEC regulations which...lol that ain't happening.We'd sell a music subscription to, say, Bank of America. The idea is, they're going to give us $20/mo for piping the Fugees into the lobby of every BofA. That's 6900 banks! That's $138k a month! $1.66m a year! Except we're going to give them a 40% discount for the first two years. So really, it's $993k a year. And we're giving them the system for free. Which, with installation, comes in at $2500/store. So... $17m in outlays. And it's a five-year contract. So... we're spending $2500 to earn $1000... seven thousand times. Except what we report - non-GAAP - is $140k a month in recurring monthly revenue (RMR) STRAIGHT INTO THE VEINS of our EBITDA. It gets better though because I report the price of our player as zero dollars because we make it and we can give it away. The player department reports 6900 sales at $1200 ea because non-GAAP, we just "earned" $8m from selling players to Bank of America.
I don't think it's "regulations" so much as "enforcement." I think if some bankers had legit lost their jobs and/or gone to jail over the Great Recession? Tea party doesn't happen. Trump doesn't get elected. Nobody talks about disbanding the Department of Education. The fact of the matter is, everyone responsible for making sure that shit didn't happen again were the guys who made it happen in the first place. Instead they're all fucking untouchable. And that was after Jeff Skilling and Bernie Ebbers - Enron and Worldcom respectively - served only twelve fucking years. This guy? This guy crashed AIG three years AFTER the FBI was investigating them for fraud. Fuckin' DOGE has made bigger accounting misstatements than Worldcom did. If you don't call it crime...
Involuntary, Main-character, Live-action, PKDick-Immersionism! Step right up, step right up! We are a small business (1 guy, 2 hours/ever)! Non-money-adjacent sectors exclusively! BREAKING: ...We are an even smaller business! (Never Happened, not even once ever, per guy)
I ordered one of these and all of the coffee was black tea 4/5 stars
Let me recap this for you: We have had the discussions. These people are the problem. They are now literally the system. The ultrawealthy. And they do not care about you. I have been quite amazed at the number of people who will politely, quietly settle themselves into their own graves, and ask me why I'm going after the guy dragging them behind the barn so viciously. I love the idea of not being angry right now. Edit: Oh well. Yeah I'll try to humanize the ten people intentionally psychologically torturing a few million federal workers and contractors. Sorry. Edit2: citation Edit2: One more thing. The wealthiest man in the history of the world has illegally broken into the treasury of the richest country in the history of the world, lies about really anything that enters his vision, and has recently said, to Joe Rogan and an audience of at least several million, deadpan; "and people are living much longer, unfortunately", to justify throwing your grandma out of her nursing home soon. Focus on the capitalist system..? The issue is that this isn't capitalism. Capitalism is now "the good ol' days". This is a coup of the united states by the billionaire investor class. So no, I won't be saying anything remotely like "yeah maybe we shouldn't call these idiot Nazi shitbags 'locusts'". I'm sorry I know this seems incredibly mean, but this has been elevated to Serious Shit and I'm not gonna sit around and do some bothsides kumbaya reprieve while we all get gradually less and less safe, wealthy, and fucking decent. I don't enjoy this! Godbeing mad at parameters allowing shitty optimum rather than someone doing it can at least provoke a discussion
All of this heated rant, and thousands more like it from the exact same guy are part of the nunc.-hubski collaboration catalog, and can be yours today for 125 easy payments of $15.99