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comment by OftenBen
OftenBen  ·  1332 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: He Called Me His 'Girlfriend'

At what point does 'dating' become a 'relationship?'

Related anecdote:

I met someone at a coffeeshop early on Sunday and we spent the better part of nine hours lying in my darkened bedroom talking quietly about how we feel we relate to the world and those we care about. In the span of an afternoon, this person went from a complete stranger to trusted confidant and intellectual foil. After how many dates do we say that we're "dating?" After how many dates do our identities gain the possessive 'My boyfriend, my girlfriend?' After how many dates do we (And society) acknowledge that great one-ness that exists tangibly between us?





kleinbl00  ·  1332 days ago  ·  link  ·  

When you go from wondering "should I ask her to this event" to wondering "is she going to be bored at this event."

OftenBen  ·  1325 days ago  ·  link  ·  

She's going to NYC with me in June.

kleinbl00  ·  1325 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Careful with that axe, Eugene. June is a long ways away. Don't get hung up on it.

goobster  ·  1325 days ago  ·  link  ·  

(Just commenting here that I got your Pink Floyd reference. Clap clap clap.)

OftenBen  ·  1325 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Point made and comprehended.

lil  ·  1332 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    nine hours lying in my darkened bedroom
WOW wow, congratulations!!! That's awesome. So happy for you.

Keep in mind that "dates" and "dating" are terms invented by parents who want their teenagers to come home at night.

(Really hoping I can say something that will make steve giggle.)

steve  ·  1332 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    giggle

lil  ·  1332 days ago  ·  link  ·  

giggle back

oyster  ·  1332 days ago  ·  link  ·  

This is so relevant to modern dating, I think somebody is your boyfriend/girlfriend when one person asks for that and the other agrees. We never communicate anymore, we just guess and it's driving us all crazy.

arguewithatree  ·  1331 days ago  ·  link  ·  

yup. a friend of mine asked us in a group chat if 6 dates was enough to "define the relationship"... yes?? no?? talk to them not us cuz we don't know?? this shit makes me crazy.

johnnyFive  ·  1332 days ago  ·  link  ·  

The answer to all those questions is "when you two decide that it does."

ButterflyEffect  ·  1332 days ago  ·  link  ·  

When you stop wondering if it's been enough dates. I think it's possible to acknowledge that "one-ness" while being under the dating umbrella, but everyone has their own definitions.

This past year has proven that the "good old fashioned" way of meeting somebody in person is what works.

OftenBen  ·  1332 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    This past year has proven that the "good old fashioned" way of meeting somebody in person is what works.

Shit is so wacky. You're telling me that much as I try and believe otherwise, I'm a hairless monkey who best bonds with other hairless monkeys through face to face interaction? Weird.

ButterflyEffect  ·  1332 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Think you mean as much as everybody with an investment in making money off dating apps/websites/media tells your otherwise.