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darlinareyousleepy's profile

following: 13
followed tags: 22
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hubskier for: 467 days


recent comments, posts, and shares:
darlinareyousleepy  ·  22 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: November 13, 2019

I went on a reprieve for a while, which is why I wasn't online at all. I'm not doing this without my fiancee again.

Next week marks a year of us being together.

We have decided on a boat wedding.

It is lovely.

I have taken a break from everything and the massive overhaul wasn't easy. I have also taken it upon myself to quit smoking all together for 2 weeks. I have since backtracked, but at least I know I can now do it.

I am hoping to attend one class before the year ends.

I know what I want to do. It's nice.

I've managed to actually make computer books interesting again. I've managed to make the last medication I was on an allergy for me.

It's mindblowing. I've never felt this compassionate towards my partner before.

I would tell people.... you know that feeling when you love someone, but don't like them?

There was a reason I didn't like myself to the point of wanting to burn out, only less than 2 years ago.

Sure, I had an ego. Loved myself so much in a way that only the sympathetic ear and loving touch of a creator can understand. Many people told me to write a book.

But I had wanted to fundamentally fix myself before making something for others to consume again.

I used to get a lot of scathing accounts from others in the past. I would hear a lot worse before my life started over. Using people- especially in relationships- why, that is probably why I disliked myself. It actually took a lot of visits to the hospital, lots of therapy, and lots of drugs for comprehension to set back shop.

I lost a lot in it due to grief.

That being said, I consider myself a different person today. The woman my fiancee knows of today is a much kinder, genuine soul. I'm lucky to have learned how serious my addictions truly changed me over the years. I am lucky to have had the ability to record and perform, regardless of how anyone else has felt about it. Above all else, I am glad that the idea of ego being a privilege and something to be cultivated, carefully, is what I needed to focus on before going on to the next chapter of my life.

For now, I say Happy Holiday seasonal tidings!

I will be quite busy over the next couple of weeks, but I thought to check in.

Thank you all for being here and always being a nice part of the internet (y'all are on my homepage.)

darlinareyousleepy  ·  25 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: 356th Weekly "Share Some Music You've Been Into Lately"

darlinareyousleepy  ·  26 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Ask Hubski: What Book (or Books) Changed Your Life, and Why?

A Collection of Short Stories comprised of Jorge Luis Borges would be one of my first choices as well.

Labyrinths in particular was what impacted me the most.

darlinareyousleepy  ·  79 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: North America Has Lost 3 Billion Birds, Scientists Say

We need more falconers.

darlinareyousleepy  ·  79 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: September 18, 2019

I said yes to the engagement ring and it looks like I might have a nice one soon before I get married.

We've been having a band the size of my finger around a chain on his neck.

It's coming up on a year and he said he would marry me at the end of it. I am excited, to say the least.

darlinareyousleepy  ·  86 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: September 11, 2019

Good witching hour.

It is Friday the 13th.

The next full moon will be 2049 at this occurence.

I am reminiscing of my grandfather.

My grandfather passed away 4 years ago.

I had spent the last 2 years before he passed, not by his side, and the last I saw his face was on his death bed with tears of joy seeing me.

My grandfather was a strong ww2 veteran who is buried at the top of the hill with his wife, dead of cancer, who died a year before I was born.

He contributed to the community he moved to and called home. He set up in the farmlands outside of Los Angeles, at the time, only for me to see it become the 3rd biggest city in California.

I do not know my grandfather's stories from him.

I do not remember talking to him or when I was younger.

What I remember is summers at the beach in the warm sunlight- for he retired north by Santa Barbara.

I remember the chess games in Marie Callender's, watching Pinocchio and The Little Mermaid and Aladdin, and growing up solemn with the only happiness being to see what my grandfather wanted to show through paintings and books.

I loved that man more deeply than I love my father, I regret to admit. I do not understand how to explain how I believe in the reincarnation of souls and living memory, but this wells up in me as I think to go into new territory, hopefully, just like he did.

I lost my grandfather to dementia, I thought, but he still cried the last time he saw me.

I want to carry his spirit into my elder years.

I feel like, after about 4 years of serious alcoholic abuse, I am finally starting to realize the depth of his kindness and glory and service.

I also got sick while I was gone. Thank you for not logging me out and getting rid of my account.

This place has been a harbour for me and I truly yearn for deep connections on here, but I am very afraid and not as brazen as I was in my youth.

I find out more results on Tuesday.

I hope your 13th is filled with horrow-shows and exploration of the supernatural.

darlinareyousleepy  ·  114 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: PSA: Hubski emails seem to have graduated from blocked to spam.