“Guys view everything as a competition,” he elaborates with his deep, reassuring voice. “Who’s slept with the best, hottest girls?” With these dating apps, he says, “you’re always sort of prowling. You could talk to two or three girls at a bar and pick the best one, or you can swipe a couple hundred people a day—the sample size is so much larger. It’s setting up two or three Tinder dates a week and, chances are, sleeping with all of them, so you could rack up 100 girls you’ve slept with in a year.”
Wow, these guys seem really shitty. It's one thing to want to hookup but another thing to openly objectify and look at this as numbers game.
But Marty, who prefers Hinge to Tinder (“Hinge is my thing”), is no slouch at “racking up girls.” He says he’s slept with 30 to 40 women in the last year: “I sort of play that I could be a boyfriend kind of guy,” in order to win them over, “but then they start wanting me to care more … and I just don’t.”
“And it reaches a point,” says Jane, “where, if you receive a text message” from a guy, “you forward the message to, like, seven different people: ‘What do I say back? Oh my God, he just texted me!’ It becomes a surprise. ‘He texted me!’ Which is really sad.”
And suddenly the article got very sad. I've always felt weird and uncomfortable with Tinder, even when I was using it fairly often (and with some success - though not in the fashion as the people in this article). This article is right about one thing - almost everybody is on some sort of dating app, Tinder / OkCupid / Hinge / whatever else and I don't think there's anything wrong with it depending on your attitude. There were a lot of things wrong with the attitudes of the people in this article though, and to be honest I couldn't really bother finishing it.
Is dating dying? Maybe? It's hard to say because I'm clearly not in the audience of people interviewed for this article because even my friends who use these apps don't look at dating / hookups / Tinder in the fashion of the people in this article. It's much less sinister, more of a lets have fun and leave it at that, there's no misogyny, no looking down on people for performance, no sharing a text with 7 people. Bleh. I'm all for sexual empowerment but there are varying degrees of healthy ways to go about doing it.