Is it possible that both of those fears are really manifestations of insecurity and so as a result possible to say that what makes a person able to stop running is confidence? Edit: I will now add to this by saying I am watching the series Gilmore Girls for the first time in my life, and in today's episode Rory and Lorelei are playing "one, two, three or pass." If I understood it right, the game is that the next three people who pass that would be attractive to you, you must decide immediately : yes, 'marry' that one or no, pass, believing the next one will be better. However you are limited to the first 3 passers-by so your choices are limited and if you pass the first two you are stuck with whoever the third is. It was too relevant not to mention although I suspect it adds very little insight.