I am very interested in your opinion on this:
I've been together with my girlfriend for close to three years now. She fully expects me to propose and marry her (soon/now). I don't feel ready for that. Instead the thoughts of it make me feel very uneasy. We have issues to resolve. In my mind, things need to be running smoothly before you start a life-long union. She disagrees and argues that it is it not worth any effort or time on her side if I won't commit to unconditionally before trying to trying to fix things.
The current situation is: I got my way because I was ready to let things break and end. She gave up, and I got my way for now and didn't propose despite the length of the relationship.
Understandably, it weights on the relationship. I can't explain my resistance. I can't explain my willingness to let things slip and end. I do not think I was fully aware of the events unfolding and the likelihood of a breakup happening.
My attempts to understand the situation better fail. And they make me question my desire to hold on to her. It is not true that I cannot imagine a life without her. It is true that I would miss her a lot. I would feel very bad if we broke up. She put a lot of trust in me, and I would betray that. But I can also imagine us work out. It just seems I have the wrong motivation: Everything is fine, therefore it can go on. Shouldn't it be: "I cannot live without her!"?
I know you cannot tell me what to do. What questions can I ask myself to sort it out in my head?
tl;dr: Don't know how to decide whether to break up, try to work out things, or how to determine if I am being selfish and unfair. What questions can I try to ask myself to understand the situation better?