Then something happens. You start noticing these peculiar little behaviors that are difficult for everyone else to see. These usually take the form of slight insults, intentional or not,
This is for you, too, longstocking, but I'm calling out nowaypablo because I want him to see it. Pabst, remember how I told you I called a guy a sexist pig at a 4th of July barbecue?
I was trying to leave the BBQ with my brother and a female friend. I had driven there, but then drunk quite a bit. I still had my keys in my possession, however as I possess a remote key I can have the keys in my possession and as long as I'm sitting in the car, anyone can drive. Additionally, these keys were not visible.
As we were leaving - I suppose I was leading my brother and friend through the house to leave - a tall guy stepped in front of me and told me I wasn't driving. I said "OK, I'm not driving," and kept walking. The guy continued to step in my way, refusing to let me leave. I didn't see what his issue was, as I had two people with me and I knew one of them was fine to drive. It was clearly visible that these two people were with me and were leaving with me. I actually don't even know why this guy assumed I was driving except that I was leading the way.
My friend and my brother both stepped up. My friend said "That's okay, she's not going to drive," and asked me to give her my keys. I did so. The guy continued to refuse to let me leave. My female friend said "Look, it's fine, there's two of us here, one of us is okay to drive, it's okay" to the guy. He kind of talked over her. But then my tall, good-looking brother spoke up. "That's fine," he said. "It'll be fine."
The guy looked at him and said "OK, you can drive." And that's when I said "Excuse me, you sexist pig, are you really saying he's fine to drive but she's not? You're a fucking asshole." Because you know what?
Less than an hour ago I'd done two back-to-back shots with my brother. He'd had at least three beers (as had I). While he was a male and had a higher tolerance, I knew my brother was on his way to drunk. I was already pissed off at this random dude because hell, I hadn't seen him around the party, there was no way he knew how much I had had to drink so who was he to tell me I couldn't drive? (Regardless of whether it was true.) But on top of this, now, he was standing there ignoring my female friend who had had 3 beers over the course of 3 hours and was good to drive, my female friend who was telling him everything was fine. He refused to listen to two women but as soon as a drunk man spoke up and appeared to "fix" the situation, this other male was willing to stand down.
I feel like that is a great example of the small sexism that most people don't notice. This guy didn't have context and knowledge that i did but he still felt comfortable telling me who could drive my car when I left to leave a party - sexist thing #1 - and then he chose the male over the female for no perceivable reason and, indeed, when the male was not legal to drive.
Guy was a fucking douche, man.