But if everyone piled on me, called me an awful person, got me fired, and generally tried to hurt me in whatever legal way they could, I don't know that I'd have learned anything. I'd be out of a job and miserable - who would I blame, myself, or them?
You. See the thing is this doesn't actually happen. You know what does happen, though, is that people in minority groups like this are assaulted and harassed constantly every day because someone thinks these jokes are funny but totally aren't racist/sexist guys, tells their friends (some of which might not actually have such "pure" intentions), makes the idea of othering and mockery on arbitrary criteria acceptable for the sake of a cheap laugh.
There is no such thing as "just trying to be funny", and it is not our job to coddle you while you figure that out. Give me a fucking break with that pity party nonsense. We're being murdered daily and you're worried about shit like this.