With high school graduations in full swing, it got me into thinking about what I wish I had known when I was getting out of high school and entering college. If you could travel back in time and tell your 18 year old self one thing and one thing only, what would it be?
For me personally, I would tell my 18 year old materialistic self that less is more. I will tell myself that material goods and possessions do not make a person. The enjoyment and the happiness of material goods are very fleeting and at the end of the day, nobody really cares. Don't buy things to impress others. If you're going to spend, make sure you spend on assets that have a good chance of appreciating in value.
You're transgender, kid. talk to someone about it.
oui, c'est ça. after six years of questioning, i finally came out to myself, then my folks and close friends over the past 6-7 months.
There was a girl who I used to run interference for on /r/favors all the time. Didn't hear from her for a while. Then I got a message on LinkedIn from someone I never heard of. I wrote him back saying "uhm, don't take this the wrong way, but how do I know you?" He wrote back with the equivalent of "I know my name is Jim now but you used to know me as Sue." He's so much happier. I hope the same is true of you.
Thanks. I am much, much happier, and much more chill.
How did they take it? One of my friends (his sex is female) is currently coming out as a male. It honestly didn't surprise me. Was anyone you came out to genuinely surprised? I'm very aware of the self-doubt one goes through while coming to terms with being transgender; I'm sorry you had to deal with that.
everyone has taken it well. a fair few people have been surprised (I'm not the standard media-portrayal waiflike and/or flamboyant transwoman), but totally okay with it and were then less surprised when they thought back on "signs". I have a tendency towards flying under the radar, though I will be going through a social transition at school (my Orchestral director and the head of my master's program knows and is supportive).
What I'd tell 18 year old me: Some of your friends are going to die tragic and avoidable deaths. Warn them.
That is very ominous. My condolences if you personally experienced such tragic circumstances in your personal life.
I'm sorry if you've had to experience a loss like that, my condolences.. but I'd like to add that I don't think you should hold guilt to those events. Regrets, fine, but even though inaction can be irresponsibility it would've been someone else by their side instead of you-- they would have probably been in the same trouble.
If both "ends" are covered, wouldn't it be kind of hard to.. well you know....
This is important! Unless you're very, very comfortable with your partner and in a long-term relationship, always be as safe as possible. Case in point, hooked up with a friend this past weekend and she waits until after to mention that it's been a month since she took birth control. This could have ended poorly if not for the above. Not risking getting a girl pregnant is a good tradeoff for using a condom, folks.DON'T RELY ON YOUR SEXUAL PARTNERS TO USE EFFECTIVE BIRTH CONTROL.
more drinks≠more happiness memories of the family are more precious than memories of wild nights to succeed in college one actually has to study don't be an arrogant douche to anyone because you think you know better, even if you do, sometimes it's better to be one than to be right.
Don't follow your friend to Oxford and call Dad.
What is wrong with Oxford? I thought it was a good school.
I would remind myself that there's never going to be a time again in your whole life where there are that many hot chicks in one place at one time, and single no less. Unfortunately, the bystander effect makes so many of those young women seem not nearly as attractive as they really are at that time. Shameful, really.
This is something I've been struggling with mightily lately. Mainly because I'm moving in less than a month, and then again a little over a month after that. And am trying not develop feelings for a good friend from high school / back home.
Take it easy on the weed and acid, dude. Meditate more. Meet more chicks, find people to play music with, and get to know your professors.
Well the weed was making me socially awkward even though it was helping me meet people. Back around that age I just smoked way too much--almost every day, and often several times each day. It was just holding me back. I even realized it at the time, but kept smoking anyway. My first few acid trips were some of the most important experiences of my life, but I started associating the positive aspects with the drug itself and ended up falling into the 'seeker' mentality. Ended up dosing around 50-60 times from freshman to sophomore year of college, and a lot of those were just a waste. Often times it would become an excuse not to socialize with people--I was tripping, so I'd isolate myself and feel justified in doing so. This led to a lot of weekends I spent alone that I should've spent hanging out with friends and meeting people (although I did meet people who were down to trip with me, and those were some really good times). I just wish I had the wisdom back then to know there's really a time and a place for these things. The time and place for weed is at the end of the night, when everything interesting has already been done. For acid, you have to take some time to wrap your mind around new concepts between trips so your mind has something new to sort through during the experience. Otherwise you're just getting intoxicated and not really learning anything.
I'd probably tell myself not to party so much or so hard and to focus on finding good friends. Just because you can depend on someone to get fucked up with you doesn't mean that you can depend on them. Building good relationships is so, so important and I wish I'd realized that sooner.
All the wasted money. The knife scar on my arm. My future. You hit the nail on the head. My 18 year old self wouldn't even recognize me. We certainly wouldn't have been friends.
Well, making lots of mistakes means lots of opportunities to learn. I don't know your situation, but hopefully your experiences will allow you to figure out how to go about creating the kind of future you'd like for yourself. That's what I hope for myself too.
Oh most definitely. Sure I'm not perfect but I wouldn't be who I am today without past challenges. Regret is a wasted emotion. I guess I just wish someone had told me (especially in high school) that the party doesn't last forever. Eventually you've got to sober up. Things are better now but my early twenties were one hell of a hangover. In an odd way I actually relish the hardships. I've met many people my age who seem completely oblivious to tragedy and I'm afraid for the hard fall they've yet to experience. Life's richer when you can look to your past and remember your rock bottom, and how far you've risen above it.
I would for sure tell myself actually spend time studying. I played two NCAA sports in college and partied way too much some might say. I ended up with a 2.8 GPA which got me now where. Do I regret these moments that will last a life time? Sometimes, but then I remember the great friends that I have and still will have in the future. Its a constant struggle contemplating these ideas. Due to my horrific GPA I did not get into the grad school/ program I wanted and now find myself going and alternate route. To recap and leave you with a parting note , party hard but in moderation.
Don't worry so much: relax and unwind - it'll all work out.
Worst time of my life I felt like I had no options. In reality, its damn well possible I really had no options but down, down, down. Eventually I let all the thoughts in my head and took everything one by one, every problem and dissatisfaction I had I took it and I decided then what i would do with it-- no matter how drastic the change/solution would be, especially if it meant giving up the "few things" i felt I still held on to. Whatever I couldn't solve I scrapped, or put aside temporarily reminding myself to not let it pressure me and stay on my shoulders. people around me are enjoying their lives, why should I be wasting my time? For me, it was eating shit from school, classmates and teachers for my bad grades, attitude and performance but "great potential!" (oh, save it you patronizing assholes), to realizing that I didn't want to go to Princetardvardale an instead found motivation in West Point University, where I saw people I wanted to be who got their asses beat and made it out the other end with a look of strength and purpose that kicked ass in two world wars. You've got a chance, you've got a million chances, to do a million things. Find your motivation, scrap the bs, let the rot go and take whatever you've lost and sacrificed as the price for having everything you couldn't even imagine you could have in a little bit of time. Pardon the ramble, I haven't slept much, I think my point is you gotta find someone or something that's gonna give you a purpose, if you've decided that right now (and 10 years until now) you haven't had one. There are professionals too, good luck friend.
I wish I could know what I wish I'd known at 18. If I knew what I wish I knew I would've known to wish for newer things not nothing things.