humanodon and others were talking about online dating here recently, so let me put it out there: Who met their current long-term partner on line? Did you use
1) a dating website? (e.g. plentyoffish, lavalife, match.com, pinksofa - the lesbian connection site)
2) some other online way to meet? (e.g. hubski, social networking)
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Note: This is very Y2K. In the 1990s we still wrote personal ads.
I met my current long-term partner through a personal ad.
Yup, met my fiancee on OKC few years ago. We're getting married this fall. I used to be kind of a "who needs online dating?" type when I was younger, but then I found myself in my late twenties, working in a male dominated IT career field with nothing but old bearded married men around me during the vast majority of my time. After college and working retail, the easy access to girls my age went bye-bye with it. As a late twenty something it was hard to meet girls. Also, during this time, I was working really long hours at work, easily 60+ hour work weeks. It left not a lot of time for dating or finding women. There was really only a couple options, 1. Meeting girls through my group of friends, which happened frequently, but after awhile the social circles become stale and there isn't new girls coming in and out of it as often. 2. The bars. I'm not a shy guy, and I've met/picked-up girls at bars before, a coupe which even turned into relationships, but none of them went very far. At least with online dating I know a little about them before I meet them. So one summer I decided to give online dating a shot, and parused match.com and OKCupid and set up some dates. I went out with about 12 different girls, mostly first dates. All of them were cool and there was only a couple awkward dates, but most of them were at least fun and interesting, and a few of those first dates turned into more than a first date and I saw them again. One of those turned into a girl I fell in love with, moved in with, later bought a house with, and am now marrying. All I can say, is if your dating pool is limited for whatever reason, dating sites can at least get you interacting with people and out on dates together. For me, I like to call it "online MEETING" not dating. I'd exchange 2-3 messages with a girl tops, and then just tell them we should go get drinks. Real life chemistry is the most important thing, and you'll never get that through messages on a website. So I'd be like "This person is attractive and seems like they got their shit together", chit chat for a couple of message, and then go out and get drinks/coffee with them and see how it goes. I used to think online dating was unnecessary, but now I'm one of those "Met online; got married" statistics. I also work with another guy that's moving in with a girl he met online soon, and two other couples I know who met online who have gotten married. And none of these people are "nerdy" or "geeky" or people who couldn't "get girls in real life". They are all early 30s, and in the same boat as me. Meeting people just got a lot harder, and online dating made it a lot easier.
Yep, it's the sort of thing you could leverage and get OKC to donate towards and photograph the wedding for free. No joke, I'd look in to it.
At the same time, I think word of mouth from people like me and the other happy couples is doing just fine for them. They got bought out by Match a year or two ago. I'm sure that lined some pockets over at OKC nicely. Plus since OKC is free, and plans to remain to be free, so spending money on advertising kind of breaks that business model a bit. Match however, you'll notice, is the one with the commercials and wedding pictures and what not. They are the paid service, and they bought OKC so they could have a free service that is allowed to do it's own thing.
Great post! Online dating in general sometimes unfairly gets a bad wrap, but most people don't realize that over 40% of new relationships world-wide are started ONLINE! There are a lot of good paid sites, and a few great free ones if you know where to look. For those who are more interested in Asian singles, the best truly free site we've found is www.Filipino4U.com There are also some good paid sites like Match or eHarmony if you are willing to pay monthly fees.
I am currently single, so I guess this doesn't directly apply to me, but I've met two significant others (one more significant - lived together and all that jazz - and the other less so) through OKCupid. I thought I was ready to start dating again and opened up my profile, but as it turns I'm really not. However, I do figure I'll end up going back to it, when the time is right. I enjoyed that article. For the record, the guy I met via OKC who I was serious with did not have a problem admitting we met via online dating. The guy that didn't end up being a keeper preferred to hide the fact. That's just a reflection of my preferences, of course, but I think honesty is pretty attractive in a mate to most people, whether it's embarrassing or not.
I met my partner on OKCupid about three years ago.
You know, this seems a lot easier than hoping to stumble into an attractive stranger. Or trying to figure out where someone I might be into might go to hang out. OK Cupid has come up more than any other site. Is it easier to use than other sites or something?
Screw your question lil, I am curious about how this went for you. I was 12 at the end of the 90s, so wasn't too busy doing that much dating (online or personal ads), and sort of always assumed personal ads weren't really a thing people used (unless they were looking for a "masseuse"). Care to elaborate?I met my current long-term partner through a personal ad.
Thanks for asking, geneusutwerk. In Canada there is a "national" newspaper called The Globe and Mail. It assumed a fairly educated readership and became the go-to place for university professors to look for partners after it became no longer acceptable to date students, grad students, lab assistants, research assistants, and so on. I met a math professor who liked me a lot. I met a toxicologist (no kidding) who I liked a lot, and various polymathic men. I even posted an ad at one point that included the line "Looking for someone who has read a book" and "Looking for a man with a REALLY BIG vocabulary." The newspaper would include a mailbox # in the ad and then forward the letters that came in -- for only a month. I clipped the ad described in my blog and started to answer it, but put it aside as my step-father was dying and I was focussing on family. The night he died, I pulled out the ad again. My family had really come together for my mother and step-father. The experience was profound and I decided that I wanted to have a family myself (after being separated from a previous partner/baby daddy for about four years (four great years, mind you). I answered the ad, about 20 years ago, April 26, 1993. You can actually see us at the bottom of this blog.
Thanks for posting this as well as the post to the blog.