What does that supposed to mean?But clearly still OK posting shit tons.
Well, you tend to make long posts lamenting selfishness/need for other's approval/etc. I think what ref is saying is that continuing to self-indulge in these behaviors by constantly posting about yourself isn't healthy, because you know it's a problem yet continue to do it. Personally I'm glad you have an outlet here to talk about your problems, and it's good to get feedback from peers for self-improvement, but I think ref has a point that you need real-world therapy.
I do. Until I have access to it, though, self-therapy is my best course of action. By talking, I access my mind in ways otherwise impossible, and through the talking I already did online, I've learned more about myself than I did in months prior. It's not that I enjoy having an outlet - it's that I can't not enjoy it: it's the only place where I can speak my mind and people will listen and reply with a certain level of understanding and even advices. I've never had such an outlet; to have it is a pleasure and a good use, and I'm grateful, humbled and honored to have it. _refugee_, if what caeli's suggesting is indeed what you think about it, I suggest you give it another thought, this time giving my problems the respect and space they deserve. You may not like what you see, but please, let me be me. Right now, it's the only way the real me can exist away from the world that causes me so much suffering; hopefully, it will change as I move to the university. If you think that I'm a shit person, by all means, think so - but don't give me shit for doing what's best for me right now. It's not nice, but it makes me better. Give that respect.I think ref has a point that you need real-world therapy.
Uh 'scuse me (Stay tuned for edit update) First, your problems or your perceived problems don't actually inherently deserve my time, attention, investment or respect. Those are granted by me to you when I feel like it, am interested, and think it's deserved. Second, it's pretty bad form to demand someone who chimed in on an open conversation you started asking for advice to re-think their comments basically because you don't seem to like them very much. Let's repeat that: demand. You didn't ask me to clarify, you didn't say please, you decided you felt entitled to more of my investment that I had already decided I was willing to give. 3. So self therapy, you say? Imma be skeptical. See: 4. So you don't like it when it's pointed out that, while in this post you present your need for attention as problematic, it's clear to your audience that you are actively and frequently indulging in behaviors that directly feed into that "problem." You think that pointing out that, well, let's just say that if you're trying self therapy via these posts, really what you're doing is just saying "give me attention." To me, that doesn't sound like an effective way to self therapize toward a cure for your need for attention. You asked for input. You didn't like getting called out for your behavior. Sorry bud, you can't ask an open community to give you feedback and then get snitty and not only reject what you don't like hearing, but fucking demand it be reassessed so that it aligns more with what you think you want to hear. Talk about an echo chamber effect. Go on and think about that. Or not. You can make all the self posts you can; I am not going to stop pointing out they're attention grabs simply because you don't like being honest with yourself.I suggest you give it another thought, this time giving my problems the respect and space they deserve
Ref, It's past 11 PM on the clock, and I've been up since 4 AM, doing my running and shit for the workout table; turned out, I do care about it. It's the third revision of this message I'm writing, and by now, if you've lurked through my personal posts enough, you must know just how big my defensive messages get. Those two were defensive. So, it would be best if I lay out my thoughts on the matter right now, in short and as straight as I can make them. You want to be honest, so let me be honest back. That message I'm replying to? It isn't about me anymore. You've got tangled in anger and inacceptance, much like I did plenty of times before, struggling with the imperfect reality. You're infuriated not by what I did but by what I am, and it's not the first time I see it: you've wrestled with plenty of people online already. I don't want to be one of those people. If you'd like to discuss the whole matter - yours and mine - further, in private, I'd like to discuss it as well. Despite not knowing you for anything like a long time, I consider you my friend; an Internet friend, but a friend nonetheless.
Dude. _ref_ is giving you great advice here, and yeah, it's not very feel good. But it's also necessary given these posts. You're putting motives and words where there aren't any, at least the way you're interpreting it. She's given me, and plenty of other people here, sound life advice. It's up to you what you're going to do with it.You're infuriated not by what I did but by what I am, and it's not the first time I see it: you've wrestled with plenty of people online already. I don't want to be one of those people.
Well see this is sort of what ref was getting at. It's pretty narcissistic to say that you deserve to be respected. I'm not trying to say you're a terrible person or anything, just pointing out that it's this behavior that turns people off. No one has an obligation to be patient with you, but this seems to sort of be what you're expecting, so then frustration ensues for all parties.I suggest you give it another thought, this time giving my problems the respect and space they deserve
I can see how it is now. I believe that everyone should get an equal amount of baseline respect as per the idea of credit of respect. In your opinion, how do I best communicate this idea? Should it ever be vocal, or must it always remain subtle?It's pretty narcissistic to say that you deserve to be respected.
I'd like to learn how to express the idea in the most effective way in most context. I'm asking your advice not for my and ref's sake, but for my own solely. Whether I come to apply it when it comes to ref is irrelevant to message you were replying to, as I didn't put such meaning in it.