I think ref has a point that you need real-world therapy.

I do. Until I have access to it, though, self-therapy is my best course of action. By talking, I access my mind in ways otherwise impossible, and through the talking I already did online, I've learned more about myself than I did in months prior.

It's not that I enjoy having an outlet - it's that I can't not enjoy it: it's the only place where I can speak my mind and people will listen and reply with a certain level of understanding and even advices. I've never had such an outlet; to have it is a pleasure and a good use, and I'm grateful, humbled and honored to have it.

_refugee_, if what caeli's suggesting is indeed what you think about it, I suggest you give it another thought, this time giving my problems the respect and space they deserve. You may not like what you see, but please, let me be me. Right now, it's the only way the real me can exist away from the world that causes me so much suffering; hopefully, it will change as I move to the university. If you think that I'm a shit person, by all means, think so - but don't give me shit for doing what's best for me right now. It's not nice, but it makes me better. Give that respect.