So humanodon posted this recipe a while ago and while it took me a little bit to work up the gumption, I have now worked up the gumption twice. I post this in order to recommend this magic sauce to anyone and everyone, and also to get some clarification on what, to be frank, is exactly the sort of loosey-goosey recipe that I tend to prefer. "Loosey-goosey" of course always has room for misinterpretation, and I'm curious how far off the mark I am.
So let's start with the tomatoes:
- 3 lbs or 1.5 kg fresh, ripe tomatoes, peeled and seeded (to do this, blanch and then shock in ice-water) but not chopped.
This particular batch was 4 lbs of the $2/lb heirlooms from the local farmer's market. Which means they were tiny, tough-skinned and not amenable to the above. Beefsteaks are easier. These, you throw in boiling water for like 30 seconds, then throw in cold water, then throw back in the boiling water, then throw back in the cold water, then hope you can peel them. Seed them? Naaah, fuck that. I take the stems out.
- 1/2 a yellow onion (grated)
- 1 carrot (grated)
- 1 stalk celery (finely minced. First cut into fine strips and then cut against the grain)
- Saute onion, carrot, celery and basil stalks in olive oil and butter with the bay leaves and a pinch of salt until the carrot, celery and basil stalks are soft, med-low heat.
So here's a carrot (a red one, from Trader Joe's), a stalk of celery and half an onion. I grated them all. 'cuz you know what? Considering the goal is to reduce it pretty much to mush, I just hit it all with the microplane.
- 1 or 2 basil plants worth of fresh basil leaves (chiffonaded) and their stalks (finely chopped)
I have no idea what this means. Up in Washington basil makes a great hedge. The first time I made it I used a "trader Joe's load" of basil, and it was damn near pesto. This time I used two stalks.
- Some tomato paste (the kind in a tube is better than the cans, but canned is cool too)
The kind in a tube is like totally different stuff, and costs like $6 a tube. The kind in a can is 80 cents.
Note that here is why I love the fuck out of this spatula.
I once posted about it off-hand on Reddit and things went kind of nuts.
- Add garlic, chili peppers and paprika and cook a few minutes longer, adding more oil or butter as needed. Add about 1.5 tbsp tomato paste and a little honey, to take away the sourness and make sure everything is coated in it. Add one or two glasses of wine and scrape the bottom of the pan. Let it reduce a little.
No idea how you get away with this, son. It's all going in eventually:
There's so much stuff in there that "reduction" is kind of ritual. By the time the tomatoes are in 3/4 of the bottle is in there just to get it going:
- Add the tomatoes and salt generously. Throw in the cheese rind. If you want to get fancy, this is a good time to add roasted red peppers.
Full disclosure: violently allergic to bell peppers. Don't know why. There's two serranos in here that I got no probe with. The cheese rind? Hells yeah muthafucka.
- Allow to simmer for . . . well, drink the rest of the wine at least, stirring often and scraping the sides down, tasting each time.
FUCK YEAH TAKING CHILD TO BEACH
('cuz we can do that in December 'round here)
- When the tomatoes have broken down to your liking, add the chiffonaded herbs and the lemon zest and remove from the heat and add some olive oil and some black pepper.
It's been two hours, yo, and that shit be broken DOWN!
Unfortunately I forgot the lemon. I know! In California, no less! So I zested a mandarin orange into it. DO NOT DO THIS unless you want your spaghetti sauce to taste orange-flavored. Which was kind of awesome but also kind of weird.
Oh, wait, what was that?
- remove from the heat and add some olive oil and some black pepper. Ideally, allow the sauce to cool completely and allow it to rest at least overnight.
WTF? this is tomorrow sauce? Naaah. Ain't havin' it. We're cooking that shit another hour and putting it on pasta. Now, I know I should probably make thenewgreen's magical all-day meatballs but I've got five chickens worth of deboned chickens (yay cooking show food challenges) that I have long since ground. So let's add 2 lbs ground chicken:
And, you know, some dried oregano and garlic and shit.
Mangia!
So okay. That's what happens when you've got a loosey-goosey recipe interpreted in a loosier-goosier-way. Note that it sure hasn't turned into "sauce" it's more sort of a liquidy chili. That tastes of oranges. But is still totally f'ing delicious. Give it a shot. It's empowering to not open a jar.
Start to finish: 5 hrs
Active time: 1hr and hot damn it's active. Blanching the tomatoes and grating and frying and stuff is substantially more intense than making toffee. A lot less error-prone, though.
Cost: $8 tomatoes, $2 basil, $whatever chicken, $1 tomato paste, $negligible other stuff, good for six adult-sized portions (that's three meals for two people).
Hey! I'm glad you made this post and with lots of pictures too! Yeah, I know my recipe was more of a method than a real recipe. For me, sauce is much more of a "mom-style" thing than "dad-style". Incidentally, I also ended up using a mandarin orange and its zest in a sauce, just last week and came to the same conclusion you did: good, but a bit weird. I will say though, that I recommended the nice tomato paste, because the most readily available tomatoes to me are the supermarket kind, which are generally kind of wan and flavorless. Also, "chiffonade" is just one of those chef-y words that means to cut something up in a particular way, like this: as long as the herbs go in, whatever! That sauce looks really tasty :)
That is a small percentage of the photos available. Cell phones are a blessing and a curse. Had I been serious about it, I would have brought out the Canon. I am not serious about it. So two things: 1) I have been on not one, not two, but six seasons of television with Gordon Ramsay. I am down with "chiffonade." Hell, I even know what it means to "gratinate" and I can use the phrase "*mise en place*" in a sentence. I'm not sure what "two plants worth" of basil is. There's a fair amount of swing in the sauce's consistency and flavor depending on one's interpretation. 2) So the fancy schmancy tomato paste you use, like, toothpaste amounts, right? A little dab'll do ya. I ain't never bought it. The canned stuff, though, I know that shit. When I'm feeling kind of adventurous but not so adventurous to start with tomatoes, two cans paste, two cans tomatoes two cans sauce + herbs is marinara. The tube? Much like with the basil, this is one of those independent variables that generates a lot of scatter on the normal distribuiton. bonus) "mom-style" vs. "dad-style" = ???
I hear ya about cell phones . . . 1) Again, I was assuming that most people's access to certain things was like my own. At the grocery store I go to, basil comes in those little bubble packs, or as a small potted plant with one or two stalks. That's what I meant for a "plant's worth" :) Is Gordon Ramsay cool? TV personality aside, he seems like an ok dude. 2) Yeah, the tubed stuff is a lot more intense flavor-wise and it seems like it tends to be less sour. I tend to use the canned stuff more often, but when I am able to, I like the tubed stuff. I have also come very close to partially re-hydrating sun-dried tomatoes when I've been out of tomato paste, but that seems like an experiment that should be conducted alone first. Maybe soaking them in a bit of wine would work? RE: mom-style vs. dad-style My mother cooks in a very loose way and she often forgets to buy something, so substitutions are often made. So, from watching her and eating her food, I learned that adjusting stuff on the fly is key and that most dishes can be "saved" with enough patience, tasting and tweaking. My mom is a great cook, but sometimes she'll make something amazing that took so much adjustment that she can't remember how exactly she made it. My dad on the other hand, cooks in an incredibly precise way and measures and times everything he possibly can. If he asks me to cook one of his dishes because he's busy or something, he'll come down and check to see if I'm following the recipe to the letter and he gets a bit twitchy if I'm not. I think this is a great way to cook, but given that I usually end up cooking with what's on-hand, it can be difficult.
Copy copy. So how much of that tube do you put in, all of it? Gordon Ramsay's true personality comes out most clearly on the UK version of Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares. He is, at heart, a naughty little boy… who happens to have figured out how to run a multinational food service and multimedia empire. He's a consummate professional when professionalism is appropriate, and a cut-up when it isn't necessary. My grandmother used to make cornbread by throwing stuff in a bowl. When my grandfather was on strike and taking care of the kids, he was at a loss as to the recipe. He had my grandmother make cornbread for a week and measured all of her "throwings" then averaged. My grandmother's cornbread was occasionally better, but my grandfather's was always good.
Oh, that's the thing of it . . . different tubes can vary a bit in flavor and in volume and I don't really know why. In general, I'd say taste it first and then decide to go over 1/3 of a tube, or under. That's funny you mention cornbread. My dad was just looking for "The Perfect Cornbread Recipe", which I am totally down with. I don't know why, but physical limitations don't seem to apply to my stomach when it comes to cornbread. It just keeps going in . . . Pretty sharp of your grandfather though. I'm only limited in baking knowledge, but I'm told that as long as the proportions stay the same, recipes generally turn out ok, if you wanted to scale down or scale up. I've heard more than one person say that bakers who become cooks are generally better cooks. I only know one baker who also cooks, but he is a pretty dope cook, so I'll buy it. That's a good line to walk.He's a consummate professional when professionalism is appropriate, and a cut-up when it isn't necessary.
Oh shit, son, you wanna see some cornbread? I'll make up some cornbread. Not right now, though. It's like 80 out there and the turkey soup is gonna be plenty hot for the weather. My recipe comes down from the Dust Bowl plains of West Texas circa 1890. It is not what most jack-holes consider "cornbread" because for some stupid reason, "cornbread" in the US became "banana bread with corn instead of bananas" when it's supposed to be "that which you shovel up your beans with." Cooking is mixing. Baking is chemistry. I do not fuck around with chemistry. If there's a state change or a maillard reaction or a potential for curdling or anything like that upon which the recipe is dependent, I follow it religiously. If it's without any of that, I freestyle. Oddly enough, my daughter's "dad-style" and "mom-style" are going to be completely inverted from yours. Mom's the baker. Shit, mom's the vintner. Another reason to get more room: we had to leave the wine-making supplies in WA.
I'm just going to chime in real quick here and say that I want to see some corn bread. From either of you really. I'm a glutton when it comes to that stuff (and corn muffins).
This is exactly the kind of cornbread I am all about. Muffins are nice, but I don't want muffins with beans. I'll be sure to keep an eye out when you do get around to making it! Either way, I think it's a good thing for a kid to have different takes on how things can be accomplished, especially cooking. Not to get all Jamie Oliver, but knowing how to cook is a good way to know how to eat and eat right. I think that learning to take care of yourself and how to take care of others can flow pretty naturally from learning how to cook, too. I'd really like to learn more about brewing or wine-making or any kind of thing like that, not just alcohol. I love getting into the process of things. That's too bad your wife's wine-making stuff got left behind. How much room do you need to comfortably make wine at home?It is not what most jack-holes consider "cornbread" because for some stupid reason, "cornbread" in the US became "banana bread with corn instead of bananas" when it's supposed to be "that which you shovel up your beans with."
Wine making is lower-pressure than beer-making. Wine doesn't explode. You're just as prone to failure. You comfortably need a spare closet, ideally a motorcycle's worth of garage, and a kitchen large enough to sling 5-gallon buckets around comfortably. Kleinbl00 Klan Kornbread Preheat oven to 400F 1 C cornmeal (the real stuff, chunky and grainy) 1/2 C flour (any) 1 t. salt 1 t. sugar 3 t. baking powder (also known as 1T but why dirty more than 1 measuring spoon) 1C milk 1 egg ~3T bacon fat Heat cast-iron skillet over stove. Melt bacon grease in it. Combine dry ingredients. Coat bottom and sides of skillet with bacon grease. Dump excess into dry ingredients. Add milk & egg, mix with a fork. Don't worry about small lumps. Pour batter into skillet, 3/4" or so deep, 3/4" or so freeboard. Bake 12-15min. Klan Kleinbl00 blacK bean(K)s 1 bag black beans 5-8 c chicken or turkey stock (one of those frozen ziploc bags from the last time you rendered a carcass) shit tons of cumen shit tons of paprika a bay leaf marjoram good handful of salt shit tons of ground pepper Less of that red chile powder you got from the Homeland than you think because holy fuck is it hot Other spices that seem like a good idea OPTIONAL BUT PREFERRED: 1 ham hock, smoked vertebra, random salt pork chunk, leftover chicken wing, some bacon, whatever Throw in pressure cooker. Heat until it locks. Let it rock for like 30-40 minutes. Eat crunchier than that shit you get in a can. VARIATION: Kleinbl00 Klan KPinto KBeans Substitute shit tons of oregano for the paprika. ADDITION: BREAKFAST BEYOTCH Take leftover beans. Poach egg on top. Add avocado, salsa, corn tortillas and nonfat greek yogurt.
Nice one, thanks! I'm a bit snowed under with holiday leftovers, but I will definitely make up a batch of the cornbread and some of those beans, soon. Turnabout is fair, so I'll get some snaps too. This is straight up mom-style. I dig it. So, for the cornbread, does it matter what temperature the egg or milk are?1 ham hock, smoked vertebra, random salt pork chunk, leftover chicken wing, some bacon, whatever
Awww, I thought we were cutting up humano and putting him in a sauce. Some long pig for dinner. Jokes aside, people. My appreciation, for your enthusiasm. I won't remind you to get your ass off this website. I've had some wine today. I don't think it shows, though.
You are the only other person I have ever heard of with this allergy, besides myself. Such an inconvenience, too, because chefs put bell peppers in everything just to add color (red, yellow, orange, or green, depending on the hue of the rest of the food - I hate that so much.) Sauce looks good - next fall I'll do up a huge batch with my year end harvest and maybe can or freeze it.allergic to bell peppers
So here's what you do: 1) Stop eating bell peppers cold turkey 2) give your body time to relieve your toxic load 3) Eat bell peppers sparingly I grew up in Northern NM allergic to green chile - a place where they put it in the goddamn waffles. Then I moved to Washington where I didn't get dirty gringo looks every time I ate out. Now when I come back to visit I can eat green chile cheeseburgers from Lotaburger. I've got plenty of recipes with bell peppers in them. This one in particular is dope. I cut them up large and serve them to other people while eating around them myself. So far, so good. HOWEVER Do not for one minute think you are now immune. I made the mistake of stir-frying some bell peppers from the farm box because they looked awesome. My digestive system essentially shut down for four days - white rice was the same color and consistency coming and going (TMI, I know). I lost like nine pounds. THUS there was no way I was going to tempt fate with the sauce. I feel pretty secure in the knowledge that had I made it with peppers, it'd be diet food, and not the good kind.
Damn I feel bad for you two. I am one of the rare kind of people who likes red bell pepper raw. Especially the pointy bell peppers, they're extra sweet here. If I ever needed to diet (I don't as I posses the skinny tall gene) I would just eat those all day. edit: did you really had to name this 'humanodon sauce'?
Soon I'll too be yearning for thenewgreen's kitchen. I close on selling my house on the 13th. No joke, we have the most kick ass kitchen I've ever been in in a private residence. I've been on some good ones too, they just aren't as cool on a practical level. I'll go in to more detail on why/how we sold our house soon but we are definitely downgrading when it comes to kitchens. I should make some "humanodon sauce" while I can.
If it makes you feel any better, I finally finished putting in the tile in my kitchen… …for the tenants. Me? I just put a microwave in for my landlady because she was so enamored of the vent hood she put in she saw no reason why a 6x8 kitchen might need to maximize counter space. And did I mention that our rent down here is almost exactly double what our mortgage is in Seattle?