mivasairski says that there's our conscious to-do list of priorities. Then there's a second list of priorities -- inner priorities -- that aren't on the first list.
I'm not even sure what's on the second list, but that seems to be the one I'm following and the one I keep going back to.
Maybe if I figure out what's on the second list and how to visit it consciously from time to time, I can make more progress on the first list.
But first I'd have to put "figure out what's on the second list" on the first list.
damn.
Unless you're taking a short term fun deficit for a long-term net fun gain
I've had a similar train of thought when it comes to self improvement. Take fitness for example, I've come to accept that on some level I just don't want to go through the process to become fit. If I genuinely wanted to become fit I would have no problem doing the research to come up with a diet + exercise plan that meets my needs and I'd stick to it. But because I don't stick to it when I come up with a plan, that must mean that I want leisure more than I want to go through the work it takes to become fit. Maybe I want to already be fit, but I don't want to become fit. There was a piece of r/getmotivated style advice that made its rounds a while back that said something along the lines of "Replace the phrases 'I don't want to...', 'I don't have time to...' etc with 'It's not a priority for me to...'" I've found it to be a bit shallow like most of those little motivational catchphrases end up being when applied as a life strategy. However, I do think it's useful for a quick perspective change. Do you really want the things you say you want? To bring it back to your post, the notion of there being an internal and external set of priorities resonates with me. I think it should be a goal to make them line up as much as possible. The question is how?
I have some ideas how to do this -- starting with becoming aware of the second list. For example people play all kinds of computer games (or post on hubski) for the reasons on the internal list. Priorities are probably feelings of success, achievement, smartness for the games. Whereas the feelings of success if we do stuff on the external list are few in the short term and iffy in the long term. Priorities on the second list are also to have a feeling of connection, importance, impact, meaning, etc. We sometimes get that from a hubski post. I'd say much more, but it's taking me away from my first list. Thanks for writing.
Hmm. I've been thinking about this lately, with regards to "feelings of success, achievement..." etc. Especially with relation to fitness...it's actually the opposite, at least for me. The notion that failure is a possibility is exciting in a weird way and drives me to go out and do it. Whatever it is. Running, hiking, and more recently, climbing. Success is great, but the struggle and chances of failure might be greater.For example people play all kinds of computer games (or post on hubski) for the reasons on the internal list. Priorities are probably feelings of success, achievement, smartness for the games. Whereas the feelings of success if we do stuff on the external list are few in the short term and iffy in the long term. Priorities on the second list are also to have a feeling of connection, importance, impact, meaning, etc. We sometimes get that from a hubski post.
One of the beautiful things about improv is that failure is a possibility. mknod it opens up possibilities for fearlessness... but in your case bfx, is while the "struggle and chances of failure" might be greater, are you saying that you are motivated by the possibility of failure, or simply excited by it. Who said "fail better"? Oh, Beckett: Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better. -- Samuel Beckett
That is a great quote, Beckett was an immensely talented individual. There's a couple of quotes I came across after watching The Barkley Marathons, which wasoxygen is familiar with. All quotes by Gary Cantrell. It's both motivation and excitement. The former because the easy things in life do not provide proper clarity and appreciation for your life and for successes, the latter because it's unknown. If I fail, how, when, and what will I learn. How will I "fail better"? More to come in Pubski.If you're going to face a real challenge it has to be a real challenge. You can't accomplish anything without the possibility of failure.
True success is not the absence of failure, It is the refusal to surrender.
There is no success if failure is not in the mix."
My second list is not filled with concrete items like the first list. It's a bunch of directions I want to take my life to. It spans years, not days, and sometimes takes just as long to form as it takes to finish. When I have some time to reflect (usually on long train rides), I reconsider, adjust or change course.
I find this fascinating because I'm the opposite. My first list is very much long term directions I want to go, but my second list seems to consist of entirely too much video games and beer drinking time. I suppose it's a good thing that I'm somewhat aware of the second list at all, but I continually live with the feeling that if I really wanted the things on the first list I would study more and play less.
Perhaps you do want the things on the first list because you've been told that they will give you the things on the second list, only more sustainably. What do you get from video games and beer drinking: feelings of success and smartness and altered states, and you can get it cheaply and quickly. For a while.if I really wanted the things on the first list I would study more and play less.
The two don't even overlap and yet they coincide with such a depth that it shallows out every other aspect of our consideration. the struggle of the latter occupying it all isnt an issue rther the one that it never indulges with the former and we never yet know where which occupies us and then never to be defined by any. if the latter was too important to bother us then why it never overtook the former and then why is never evn there. the fault seems to be even classifying them as former and latter when they both constitute the same being. if everthing was ever to be the first then we would never have the rest of the counting and sure (never have reached infinity) but since we have signifies that theyre is much more than what we seem to focus on. (wasnt much related to it..still.)
I think that this idea of two lists rings true for me. For sure. When I'm not paying attention to the second list, I can tell. I get unhappy and I'm not much good to the things on list #1. Good observation lil and mivasairski. This post reminded me of a sad lyric on a song I wrote called "Slope and Sun," off of my first album that goes: Emotionless and you're still Like a list of instructions On how to write a list of instructions On how to best instruct me -Man, that wasn't a very good relationship. Making love to a woman
Sounds like you're saying your actions aren't in line with what's on your first list and so, through deduction, they come from your second list. If that's the case, what actions are your performing that makes you think you're following requests from your second list?I'm not even sure what's on the second list, but that seems to be the one I'm following and the one I keep going back to.
Good question Ish. I'm doing everything but course preparations. I should deal with that immediately in the day and get it over with. But it's tedious and requires thought, imagination, and creativity. It's winter. The days are short. My inner agenda seems to involve solidifying infrastructure. In this case infrastructure is "everything else" that holds my life together -- except my main job. "Everything else" is meeting my needs for organization, affection, connection, communication. I think alignment is possible. Like veen, a long train ride or scheduled contemplation helps. Last class is tomorrow. Onward. Onward.
Well it's my last class of the term, not theirs. They are graduate students and have other classes and then some exams. When I was a graduate student, I worked right through holidays. Sigh. But, yeah, we are all tired and we keep piling on the work. I completely agree though that last class should be fun, not the heap of tedium coming their way. I promised them at the beginning of the term that there would be no "busywork," that everything had a purpose determined by the program, the industry, etc. Is this true? I bet it all feels like pointless busywork. Are you in classes?