Sounds like you're saying your actions aren't in line with what's on your first list and so, through deduction, they come from your second list. If that's the case, what actions are your performing that makes you think you're following requests from your second list?I'm not even sure what's on the second list, but that seems to be the one I'm following and the one I keep going back to.
Good question Ish. I'm doing everything but course preparations. I should deal with that immediately in the day and get it over with. But it's tedious and requires thought, imagination, and creativity. It's winter. The days are short. My inner agenda seems to involve solidifying infrastructure. In this case infrastructure is "everything else" that holds my life together -- except my main job. "Everything else" is meeting my needs for organization, affection, connection, communication. I think alignment is possible. Like veen, a long train ride or scheduled contemplation helps. Last class is tomorrow. Onward. Onward.
Well it's my last class of the term, not theirs. They are graduate students and have other classes and then some exams. When I was a graduate student, I worked right through holidays. Sigh. But, yeah, we are all tired and we keep piling on the work. I completely agree though that last class should be fun, not the heap of tedium coming their way. I promised them at the beginning of the term that there would be no "busywork," that everything had a purpose determined by the program, the industry, etc. Is this true? I bet it all feels like pointless busywork. Are you in classes?