a thoughtful web.
Good ideas and conversation. No ads, no tracking.   Login or Take a Tour!
comment by lil
lil  ·  199 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Yearly Hubski Check In.

Okay, here I am at the yearly checkin. Listening to thenewgreen's beautiful song, "Beneath the Table".

What you been up to?

   I'm a true sandwicher.  94-year-old mom is struggling:  greatly diminished, but even with aphasia and cognitive confusion, she values and appreciates life and love.  36-year-old daughter also struggling.  So what I'm up to is caring for each of them in various ways.

Did you ever finish that one thing you swore you were going to do this past year?

   I've had a few things on my list for a long while and getting to them now because anything can happen to anyone ANYTIME,  I've been looking after finances, wills, a trust, POA.  My older sister has bought herself a gravesite in her town in the Kootenay Mountains.  She even took a picture of herself at her gravesite and wrote a haiku about it.  Then sent me the haiku and the picture.

  Under a pine tree

Buried but not forgotten

Happy and peaceful

  Yes, I find this a little creepy, but I wrote her back saying I'd visit her grave after she's gone and sprinkle haikus.  She wrote back saying that she'd like that.  She's turning 72 next week.

How are things...really?

   As soon as my sister gets here -- if ever -- (she's pleading asthma and covid fear) -- I'm taking a vacation.  But how are things, really?  Things are good and happy.  BF is amazing.  and that makes all the difference.  It feels like I'm being my most authentic self in this relationship and life.  

   Though, to play hockey, as we say on hubski, that is to express ourselves creatively in order to avoid panic attacks -- I'm not doing so brilliantly, yet.  I'm still hiding beneath the table.

Also, a shoutout to all those who encouraged me to write this:

wasoxygen

thenewgreen

steve

_refugee_

mk

ButterflyEffect

and goldbludgeon





goldbludgeon  ·  198 days ago  ·  link  ·  
This comment has been deleted.
thenewgreen  ·  198 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    she values and appreciates life and love
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree!

    BF is amazing. and that makes all the difference. It feels like I'm being my most authentic self in this relationship and life.
This makes me happy. I remember when we first met and the place you were in. You've come a long ways. We all have.

    Though, to play hockey, as we say on hubski, that is to express ourselves creatively in order to avoid panic attacks -- I'm not doing so brilliantly, yet. I'm still hiding beneath the table.
My friend that told me she hid beneath the table as a child said that if she could go back in time she would have carved words beneath the wood of the table so she could go back as an adult and remember why she was hiding there. If you have to be "under the table," maybe do some writing about why you're down there. Love you, lil. Onward!