So, usually I dont tall about my personal life on here, partly cause I don't like to sound like a little sis but also because personal is personal. Today is awful though, and I think maybe some feedback/encouragement would be nice. I'm pretty much at a stalemate at my job. My job has gotten to the point where it's taken a toll on my body, my mental health, and my marriage and things are steadily getting worse every day. If I put into words how bad things are, I doubt anyone would believe me. The only thing that keeps me from walking out is that I don't want to be an unemployed burden on my wife. Today, today has been especially awful. It's a miracle I haven't rage quit. So here I am, on my lunch, searching job websites where I see a local jeweler is looking for an apprentice for jewelery repair. I'm thinking about applying. It would be a 40% paycut to what I'm making now, probably even more when you factor in loss of benefits. I don't care though. I can make the budget work, especially if I pick up a second part time job. To do something though, with my hands and be proud of what I do without ruining my already feeble body appeals to me so much. I sent the link to my wife. She isn't opposed to the idea which is the closest thing to an "ok" you can get out of her, so I think as soon as I get home tonight I'm going to email the place and see what kind of trouble I can't get myself into.
Only spent a few years in industry, but I've still seen people kill themselves gradually with their work, like a slow motion suicide. Not all of them even got paid overtime. You should try to stay alive though, you seem pretty cool.
I don't mean to be a downer here, but know what sucks? You know it's happening the whole time, but you're stuck. It's your job. Your entire life literally hinges on it. You can't just up and stop because if you do, your life will quickly come to ruin. After all, bills have to be paid and reputations need to be kept. So, instead of just saying "enough" and leaving outright and risking to let everything quickly falls apart, you try to see what you can do to wiggle out, see if you can't escape while you risk everything crumbling away slowly. I'm not gonna let that happen to me though. I'll figure something out. Hell, if I'm desperate, the gas station down the road needs a third shift cashier. I think that job might be worth it for the stories alone.I've still seen people kill themselves gradually with their work.
This seemed to be the most common factor that kept people slaving away in my little cross section of the nation's workforce. Many people had enough money to take years off. I only know of one who did. Leaves of absence are too often looked down on as a weakness, akin to a character flaw. I had written a paragraph here about wage slavery, but replaced it with this single sentence in memory of my distaste of said paragraph. There are great things that can come out of hard work. But when you're thinking about human lives or health in terms of $'s, reputation, or other metrics of assessing an irreducible value, it's time to take a step back, if you can at all (TRIGGERALERT:PUN) afford to. Glad to hear you have some options, though never enough, right? If we're being honest, life's pretty rough for me right now, though the choice to make it so was my own. If I had more time, I would certainly spend much of it here....reputations need to be kept.
There's a sense of machismo that comes to having a strong work ethic, to going above and beyond every single day. Coming in early, staying late, making sure what needs to be done gets done, right, proper, and ahead of schedule. We put value in ourselves as hard workers because we're told that hard work is valuable. Sometimes I wonder though, if I over emphasize that value, both in myself and the people I work with, to try and make up for the fact that sometimes feel like maybe we sacrificed just a little too much in the name of hard work. Don't get me wrong, I'm a damn hard worker and even though I'm having a rough time of things, I go in every day and do it all 110%. Just cause I'm unhappy, it doesn't mean I am willing to do less than what is expected of me. Reputation, machismo, whatever else we might think it is, slacking off just seems so unethical. I hope you're okay man. I really do. I know a lot of people are having a hard time right now. I see it on Pubski a lot. There's also a lot of success stories on here too. Proud mile stones. Hopefully soon we can both add to the second category, yeah?
Once, I went to therapy, mainly so my mother could sleep better at night. Didn't really get too much out of it, but I remember when the therapist evaluated "how _______ made me feel", and they casually said "well, if it's [a] primal [emotion], it's valid", and that idea really stuck with me throughout the years. So it's not too hard for me to understand dat machismo appeal coming from putting in some serious hours for a project, especially if you're emotionally vested in it. I've been there, and it's arguably ingrained in us to promote the evolution of our species. One of the first posts I ever made here was an #askhubski question titled "How Do You Balance Your Time?" or something like that. Basically the answer was "no", or "you don't/good luck/let us know when you figure that out". I think we're in a community of exceptionally driven people. Interpret that as will, it's good and bad, but generally good, imho. Seriously though, best of luck finding that balance of lifestyle that makes you genuinely content with it all. Often I find that a big change, scary as though it may be, is refreshing enough to keep me feeling inspired and alive. I think that generally, everyone benefits from novel experiences more than most people acknowledge. Third shift at a gas station might be pretty formative, and that would bring some nice stories to Pubski, lulz. And no need to worry about me. I'm living in a sort of academic analog to Harry Potter's world right now. Yeah, shit's rough, but (I think) I get to win in the end.
yeah but he also dies and comes back so as long as you're willing to put up with that I guess
I was right there with you until the first project where I said "there is no way this is going to work out well" the moment I heard about it, all my peers said "there is no way this is going to work out well" the moment they heard about it... and we were all ignored so I spent a few miserable years trying to make it work anyway, dropping out of graduate school the first time because I was working day and night. I still take pride in my craft, but I only put as much work into the job as I need to accomplish the things that need to and can be accomplished unless I have a project that particularly interests me. People who ask you to burn yourself out aren't worth impressing.
Jewelry making is awesome. I almost got a second BFA in it but the RoI seemed low. Actually, everything I've ever wanted to do is expensive and hard. Jewelry's a bitch though. Every flaw is right there staring at you at that scale. Sweat soldering successfully was probably the most excited I've ever been to do some art thing. Shit's hard, brah.
Yeah. My wife knows a bit about jewelery and all herself, as she's a fan of things like Etsy and she said similar. That alone wouldn't be enough to deter me. I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I got a keen eye for detail and the work ethic of a farmer. Those are the qualities that have gotten me where I am today without a college degree. Seeing as how she has a better grasp on these kinds of things than I do though, I had her look over the job ad and the company with me and she said it's either A) a scam or B) one of those companies that takes people in quick and burns them out as they're not looking for a "jewelery apprentice" as advertised. Apparently it's one of those companies where people mail their jewelery to get repaired and sent back. At the same time, the address on the add doesn't match the address on the company's website. So, I dunno. It's got me thinking though. I bet if I look around I could find a job in etching, screen printing, machine embroidery, leather embossing, or something of the sort. They all appeal to me. They're all honest work and something I could proudly say I do, on here, at a bar, at barbecues, and in general conversations. Worse comes to worse though, come the new year, I'm giving them the finger and getting a part time job at a local deli or grocer or something until I can find something better. I'm burned out.
You never know what will come up in the future, you might find an amazing opportunity or find that new doors will open if you were to leave. I think that self-fulfillment is one of the most important things a person can strive for. I've been in industry for only a few months now on the engineering / manufacturing supervision / quality side of things and I have a ton of respect for people who work in industry, it's a grind even getting through one month of it and it's a thankless job. Given that, I have no doubts you'll be able to handle whatever comes your way.
Honestly? Jewelry design is the only thing I ever actually wanted to do, as opposed to things other people wanted me to do. I took a course in graduate gemology, had the catalogs from Rio Grande Mineral Supply, messed about with lost wax, the whole nine yards. The markup on jewelry is pretty astounding. It's a high-profit enterprise. As trades go, there are worse ones to learn. Here's where my ring came from. James gave up on 15 years as a Boeing machinist, if i recall correctly.
Insecurity. I knew if I got an engineering degree I'd never have to rely on my parents for money and being completely fucking free and clear of my family was an important consideration. Then, once I had an engineering degree, I did the most-fun thing I could find. Then, once I'd run that career into the ground, I did the most-logical thing next. Then, once I ran that into the ground, I did the next most-logical thing next. So on the one hand, I've lived the life of Reilly, bouncing from biomedical designer to audiovisual consultant to Hollywood sound mixer and screenwriter to author. But on the other hand I've been bouncing from one next-best opportunity to another, with jewelry design the Rosebud abandoned in a snowy field 25 years in the past as I amass a loathed life and a loathed empire. Of course, today is a bitter day and the fact that I have an ear infection probably 6 hours from critical probably isn't helping. Excuse me, I prolly oughtta hop over to urgent care.
1) Yes.
Amoxicillin: $2.46 That's the amazingly stupid thing: under my previous (obamacare) health insurance, my daughter's eczema meds were $240 a bottle. Under my (union) health insurance, my daughter's eczema meds are $12 a bottle. What the fuck does my job have to do with my daughter's eczema?
I like Obamacare, as an attempt at implementing successful Scandinavian policy, but the way our medical industry threads are intertwined here in the states makes it a little harder. I want to believe that we're cranking out innovations and research fueled by our very free market, but it's not even that simple. Edit: this is where you school me. b_b always advocates for more NIH funding, but I know he works in the healthcare industry, and he seems kinda greedy. just kidding b_b duh #intentionallynottagged
Honestly? Obamacare gave our insurance company force majeure to cancel our existing, carefully selected, carefully grandfathered $230/mo insurance and force us into $874/mo insurance with triple the deductible, half the coverage and a pugnacious reluctance to pay anything. At the same time, I recognize that as the middle-class guy with a viable job, it's my lot to pick up the slack for people who otherwise would have zero insurance so, okay, I'll take that on the chin. Until I can slide into happy Union insurance that has a deductible of $5, covers everything and provides benefits through the nose while costing me $50 a quarter. The fact that I can slip through all three of these scenarios in the space of 9 months without moving, changing jobs or otherwise experiencing any major or minor changes to my life or lifestyle says a shitload about how fucked up the system is. That $5,000 toxoplasmosis pill? Tip of the fuckin' iceberg.
That about sums it up, thanks. I just changed providers from a (reportedly) decent name brand plan to a university healthcare system, but it's a private school. So I have another data point now, the private uni provider; slightly higher co-pays in general, but much lower annual buy-in. Probably the better option for me (I don't see a doctor much), until "something happens". My older provider picked up a coworker's $1.5 mil hospital bill. He beat leukemia, and didn't have to pay a cent. Love that guy. Here, I've written a speech to teach children how it all works^TM, as I see it:Gather round, young tots. Just a few more commandments passed down from the mountain today. Uhh, let's see, first is "make sure your mother or father has access to excellent healthcare benefits until you turn 26", which is important, children. For you. For your health. Ah, I see a hand up, unfortunately there will be no questions answered today, sorry children, no time, no time! OK, next on the list we have "when you turn 26, be sure you have a job with good benefits, or have a legal marriage to a spouse with access to good benefits". Yes, kids, see, if you're working a minimum wage job, that's not going to be very good for your healthcare. That's why everyone should go to college! Now the next one is "don't get sick". It's just better off when you're well, right? And if you're not well, that could be punishing. Sometimes it depends on the abilities of your provider's Office of Claim Dodging, so it's better off that you all save up a small fortune. But every kid knows that we have to spend some to tickle the ol' economy! Just gotta find that balance. Still with me? "Always have a job", is another simple one. We need hard workers to power America, kids, and YOU ARE that power. You're the workers too. The point is, no one needs to run off on some silly sabbatical! You could die out there, they'll pull your plug if you blow through your net worth!! Eek, sorry, but yes: you need to always work :). Last one now, "there is probably a tax-free income medical funding withholding program offered through your place of employment and/or their/your healthcare provider." That one's pretty self explanatory, guys. OK, no questions? Great! Thanks kids, and stay healthy out there!