Only spent a few years in industry, but I've still seen people kill themselves gradually with their work, like a slow motion suicide. Not all of them even got paid overtime. You should try to stay alive though, you seem pretty cool.
I don't mean to be a downer here, but know what sucks? You know it's happening the whole time, but you're stuck. It's your job. Your entire life literally hinges on it. You can't just up and stop because if you do, your life will quickly come to ruin. After all, bills have to be paid and reputations need to be kept. So, instead of just saying "enough" and leaving outright and risking to let everything quickly falls apart, you try to see what you can do to wiggle out, see if you can't escape while you risk everything crumbling away slowly. I'm not gonna let that happen to me though. I'll figure something out. Hell, if I'm desperate, the gas station down the road needs a third shift cashier. I think that job might be worth it for the stories alone.I've still seen people kill themselves gradually with their work.
This seemed to be the most common factor that kept people slaving away in my little cross section of the nation's workforce. Many people had enough money to take years off. I only know of one who did. Leaves of absence are too often looked down on as a weakness, akin to a character flaw. I had written a paragraph here about wage slavery, but replaced it with this single sentence in memory of my distaste of said paragraph. There are great things that can come out of hard work. But when you're thinking about human lives or health in terms of $'s, reputation, or other metrics of assessing an irreducible value, it's time to take a step back, if you can at all (TRIGGERALERT:PUN) afford to. Glad to hear you have some options, though never enough, right? If we're being honest, life's pretty rough for me right now, though the choice to make it so was my own. If I had more time, I would certainly spend much of it here....reputations need to be kept.
There's a sense of machismo that comes to having a strong work ethic, to going above and beyond every single day. Coming in early, staying late, making sure what needs to be done gets done, right, proper, and ahead of schedule. We put value in ourselves as hard workers because we're told that hard work is valuable. Sometimes I wonder though, if I over emphasize that value, both in myself and the people I work with, to try and make up for the fact that sometimes feel like maybe we sacrificed just a little too much in the name of hard work. Don't get me wrong, I'm a damn hard worker and even though I'm having a rough time of things, I go in every day and do it all 110%. Just cause I'm unhappy, it doesn't mean I am willing to do less than what is expected of me. Reputation, machismo, whatever else we might think it is, slacking off just seems so unethical. I hope you're okay man. I really do. I know a lot of people are having a hard time right now. I see it on Pubski a lot. There's also a lot of success stories on here too. Proud mile stones. Hopefully soon we can both add to the second category, yeah?
Once, I went to therapy, mainly so my mother could sleep better at night. Didn't really get too much out of it, but I remember when the therapist evaluated "how _______ made me feel", and they casually said "well, if it's [a] primal [emotion], it's valid", and that idea really stuck with me throughout the years. So it's not too hard for me to understand dat machismo appeal coming from putting in some serious hours for a project, especially if you're emotionally vested in it. I've been there, and it's arguably ingrained in us to promote the evolution of our species. One of the first posts I ever made here was an #askhubski question titled "How Do You Balance Your Time?" or something like that. Basically the answer was "no", or "you don't/good luck/let us know when you figure that out". I think we're in a community of exceptionally driven people. Interpret that as will, it's good and bad, but generally good, imho. Seriously though, best of luck finding that balance of lifestyle that makes you genuinely content with it all. Often I find that a big change, scary as though it may be, is refreshing enough to keep me feeling inspired and alive. I think that generally, everyone benefits from novel experiences more than most people acknowledge. Third shift at a gas station might be pretty formative, and that would bring some nice stories to Pubski, lulz. And no need to worry about me. I'm living in a sort of academic analog to Harry Potter's world right now. Yeah, shit's rough, but (I think) I get to win in the end.
yeah but he also dies and comes back so as long as you're willing to put up with that I guess
I was right there with you until the first project where I said "there is no way this is going to work out well" the moment I heard about it, all my peers said "there is no way this is going to work out well" the moment they heard about it... and we were all ignored so I spent a few miserable years trying to make it work anyway, dropping out of graduate school the first time because I was working day and night. I still take pride in my craft, but I only put as much work into the job as I need to accomplish the things that need to and can be accomplished unless I have a project that particularly interests me. People who ask you to burn yourself out aren't worth impressing.