Title says it all. My SO of 2 years dumped me two days ago, and I'm going to go insane if I spend any more time wallowing in my room.
Your answer doesn't necessarily need to be generalized or applicable to me, but what do you do after a break up? What helps you move on, and what helps you cope? I would even accept movie or music recommendations as a viable answer.
Self-improvement. Tell yourself "Self, we can do better. Let's get some." No need to buy a gym membership, but it's a great time to re-evaluate what you eat and why, how you exercise and why, and what's important to you and why. What hobbies have you let slide because she wasn't into them? Revisit those. What music haven't you been listening to because she hates it? Cue up that playlist. What places have you wanted to visit but haven't because she was lukewarm? Plan a voyage. This is a chance to revisit "you as you" instead of "you as reflected in someone else." There are aspects of your personality and self-image that have improved because of her. Embrace those and welcome them. There may be aspects of your behavior and regard that have degraded because of her. Dismiss them. One of the golden-age movie moguls used to celebrate whenever a famous person died because that meant they could finally do a biopic; without an ending, you can't really put someone's life in perspective. Now that your relationship has an ending, you can put it in perspective - what was it good for? What was bad about it? What will you miss? What will you not miss? There's a psychological process we must go through before we are ready to be with someone again. It's a process of recentering, re-evaluating our wants and desires and reacquainting ourselves with ourselves. The people we are after a long relationship are not the people we were before a long relationship and our two selves must meet, get to know each other and merge. This is an active process and one which we must experience largely in solitude. Not to say you need to eschew the company of others, but recognize that the void you feel inside can only be filled by you. It's a you-shaped hole and only you know what to plant in it. Fair warning - this void you feel is visible from the outside. It can be sensed. It will be avoided by others. You will not find someone new (someone of quality, anyway) until you have filled it. Note that the more you fill it, the greater the content you add to your life, the more attractive you will be to external observers. Don't ask us for movies and music. Ask yourself a year ago for all that stuff you didn't get a chance to check out and check it out. Good luck. These are hard, formative experiences and no one enjoys going through them. I think we can all agree, however, that they make us what we are.
I've had two big breakups in my life. After each I have had huge self improvements. One of them I lost 30 pounds after.
Give yourself a week of feeling like shit. Hell when your heart is stomped on, you can't deny that it hasn't been. Trying to repress that shit and act like all is well is denial in my opinion. If I ever get dumped on, I listen to Fancy Clown by MF Doom, Grief, AM//Radio and Off Top by Earl Sweatshirt on repeat until I'm tired of being sad. Once I feel like all the sadness is out of my system and I hateI just try to sit back and think about the situation in a "detached" sort of way. Look at from the third-person with no bias toward any party. While you aren't God and you wont 100% percent know anyone's motivations, it is best to try so you can open up your own understanding and increase your empathy toward the situation. So I ask questions and try to see things from the other person's perspective, so I can get a grip around it. > Why did they break up with me? > What could have been their motivations? > Was it any of my certain actions that caused them to come to their decisions? > What could I do in the future? > What did I neglect during my relationship? > What images and emotions were popping into my mind during relationship? > Is this relationship really helping me? Was I just covering up? Or was I projecting positive yet completely imagined qualities onto my partner. Some people might tell you some woppitywop bullshit telling you how you need to jump out of the door and grab yoga mat and start meditating or start up charity giving out muffins to the homeless. But its better to properly sit back and process any emotional knots then act accordingly. I wish I could go back in time and give myself this advice, it could have save me from more emotional trauma but hey, going back in time is impossible. Just cope and figure out how to move in the future.
I know this might sound ridiculous, and this definitely isn't the only thing you should be doing, but whenever I have a breakup with someone, I find it really comforting to remind myself that it is okay to feel this way now and that I'll feel much better in a month, a week, or even a few days, and just need to stick it out a bit.
Combo of yellowoftops' suggestion plus marathoning some comedy tv show. I'd suggest parks and rec or perhaps 30 rock. Something serial but not dramatic. You think you need a big idea but you don't. You just need time spent doing something other than feeling sorry for yourself. That's what comedy tv marathons were invented for.